2020-05-21

A personal boundary is the emotional, physical, or spiritual space between you and another person. Are your boundaries so loose that you often say "yes" while thinking "no"? Are they so rigid that you will never be swayed? Or are they just right--firm yet flexible?  Take our quiz to find out.



Andrea Ferretti is deputy editor of Yoga Journal. She lives and writes in San Francisco.

1

Your co-worker constantly barges into your office and overstays her welcome. Do you:

2

When a new friend invites you for her birthday dinner and you have to decline, do you:

3

When a close friend complains to you about a relationship problem you’ve heard a million times, do you:

4

You’re the lead on a project at work and, due to a miscommunication with one of your employees, the project won’t launch on time. Do you:

5

When the phone rings and you’re not in the mood to talk, do you:

6

When you meet someone for the first time, would you touch them casually a few times on the back or shoulder?

7

You think you’ve done a great job at work this year and you’d like a raise. Do you:

8

When you’re throwing a dinner party, how concerned are you that everyone is having a good time?

9

If a friend is in the midst of a bad break-up and feeling down, do you:

10

How would a new acquaintance describe you:

11

When you’re in a romantic relationship, do you:

12

If your partner or someone in your family disagrees with you on an issue that you feel strongly about, do you:

13

If a friend unwittingly touched you in a way that made you feel uncomfortable, would you:

14

If someone says something unexpectedly obnoxious—like you’ve gained or lost weight—do you:

15

When someone is direct and assertive, I:

16

Do you ask for help when you need it?

17

Do you make friends easily?

Your result is:

Too Rigid with Boundaries

You may feel surrounded by emotional walls or have difficulty feeling empathy. This may be the result of an unconscious desire to avoid being hurt or taken advantage of. You might automatically say "no" to anything that requires close physical or emotional contact. To open up, you need to know you can clearly communicate and protect your rights and desires. Then you’ll experience the joy that comes from close, balanced connections.
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Your result is:

Healthy with Boundaries

Congratulations! You are able to communicate honestly with people about how you feel and what you need in the moment. Healthy boundaries require a strong sense of self-love and confidence but ultimately, they allow you to choose who you want to invite into your life and how you want them to treat you. They pave the way for more ease in your relationships with family, colleagues, friends, and beloved.
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Your result is:

Too Loose with Boundaries

You may have trouble figuring out where you end and another begins. As a result, you rely on others' approval and feel threatened if you don't get it. A difference of opinion can cause you to feel guilty, leading you to hide your feelings and behaving passive-aggressively. You might also struggle with physical boundaries – getting close too quickly or rudely rebuffing those who invade your space. The first step to healthier boundaries is to identify how you feel and what you need. Next, communicate honestly. And finally, accept the consequences—like a loved one feeling angry. And you can!
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