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beliefnet matthew currie aquarius compatibiity

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Dear Aquarius:

As you may have noticed, I’ve been doing a series on how the Signs perform in their relationships with other signs. People seem to like this sort of thing, and admittedly relationship issues are the one thing I come across most often in the course of my work. I have to admit, though: I was a little stumped as to what kind of approach to take with Aquarius. Frankly, I’m not the only one, as you may have noticed yourself.

An Aquarius is born with the knowledge (on some level) that the individual differences between us are like different songs playing on different radio stations at the same time. Even though you can only listen to one station at a time, you (more than others) realize that the same air is being pierced by hundreds of signals at hundreds of frequencies… each one carrying unique sounds. You are born knowing that — whereas most of the rest of us never even catch on that such a thing is happening all around us, all the time.

You have the same heart and feelings that everyone else does. The problem isn’t you, in a sense: it’s everyone else. Have you ever read what they say about you? That’s you’re so aloof and weird that it’s hard to make a relationship work with you? What a load of crap. The big problem anyone has with a relationship with an Aquarius is that the others aren’t used to listening to all those higher frequencies, literally or figuratively, like you were born to do.

Find a way to explain that to your partner in a language they understand, and all will (hopefully) be well.

Sure, I could give you the quick and dirty lowdown on how this man or that woman works with you. If I did, it would look kind of like this…

Aries: Fun but not always dependable or stable for you.

Taurus: Dependable and stable but sometimes not that much fun for you.

Gemini: Intellectually interesting but emotionally scattered. At least, by your standards.

Cancer: Emotionally interesting but intellectually scattered. At least, by your standards.

Leo: Fun, but wants to fight you for top billing. At least, by your standards.

Virgo: Caring but a little too conventional. At least, by your standards.

Libra: Sweet but unchallenging, or too challenging in their refusal to challenge you. At least, by your standards.
Scorpio: Emotionally intense, but doesn’t know when to detach. At least, by your standards.

Sagittarius: A fun partner, but goes off on different tangents than yours. At least, by your standards.

Capricorn: Has emotional depth, but has a different game plan laid out than you do. At least, by your standards.

Aquarius: Beats the hell outta me! And that’s by anyone’s standards.

Pisces: Pleasantly mushy, yet unpleasantly mushy. At least, by your standards.

…and I could ornament it with some jokes and a funny picture, and we’d all have a good laugh. But none of that would actually address why you’ve come looking for a compatibility guide, would it?

So: Let the Cancers and the Virgos and the Aries and such have their compatibility guides. Me? I’d rather give you something new and unique that you could really use.

Would you like a hug?

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matthew currie astrology capricorn compatibility

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I generally really like Capricorns. I do! But even I have to admit that one of the driving forces for a Capricorn is to get and maintain a sense of control. That’s not necessarily a bad thing — none of us like too much chaos in our lives for too long. I was about to sit down and write a sympathetic  compatibility guide for the Goat People when apparently word got out, my door was kicked in, and a dozen jackbooted troopers handed me this instead, and gently persuaded me at gunpoint to post this instead of what I had in mind. Oh Capricorn, your darling thing, you…

***

Comrades:

Certain forces have conspired to, at times, deny Capricorn the love and romance that Capricorn requires to function as a powerful, independent entity. In order to more efficiently address this matter, you have all been assigned to one of twelve cadres. You will receive your final score when you are ordered to return home, or to the factory, or to Re-Education Camp, where you will have a glorious time supporting our future triumph over the forces of solitude.

Aries: Your fire and passion are admirable, but it’s so uncontrolled and undisciplined that there’s a constant risk of you burning down what we’ve built. Go to the camp.

Taurus: Solid, dependable worker. Excellent at following the Party Line, but your focus on the comforts of life… including a slight tendency to stray… is worrisome. You may return to your home.

Gemini: Scattered. I have a hard time believing that you believe in the goals of The Party, given your fondness for enemy propaganda. Your charm is lovely, but it also makes me suspicious. Report to Camp!

Cancer: Sweet, moody, and defensive, just like me. With time and discipline, you could make Chairman. Just watch the overreacting with distance when I overreact to you with distance. Report to home…. and bake me cookies.

Leo: Completely counter-revolutionary. I understand the need to keep the troops entertained, but I always feel like Fifth Harmony is still on stage with you when it’s time to charge the enemy hill instead. You know where we could use talent like that? Camp!

Virgo: Excellent quality. Stable, intelligent, and efficient. However, you tendency to worry is worrisome to me, and makes me question your loyalty. But I know you don’t mean it. Return home anyway, with an escort from Security.

Libra: Decadent! Completely unfocused on anything of real value to The Party. All this romance and sweetness is merely a cover for your desire to not take things seriously. The appearance of not taking it seriously enough is equivalent to lack of seriousness. Thoughtcrime! Report to Camp!

Scorpio: I admire your intensity, and how well-armed you are. That intensity can be worrisome though: it makes you prone to lashing out. A little time in the factory sewing cheap exports will perfect you. Once you’ve learned you’re lesson… full parole.

Sagittarius: Once again, entertainment value is no substitute for ideological commitment. You have ideology certainly… it just isn’t mine. And what you do have is shamefully disorganized. Thank you for the attempt at amusement. Camp!

Capricorn: Solid and dependable, just like me. Secretly sweet too… just like me. Truly an equal. the only problem here: do you recall being told this was a democracy? No, neither do I. Allow me to demonstrate. Go to the factory!

Aquarius: We’re so completely different that it’s hard to see how you can fit into the society I have planned for you. But you’re dedicated to a higher goal too, so you may report to the factory. But sit right under Surveillance Camera Twelve.

Pisces: Your emotionality isn’t my usual style, but this foreign technology called “compassion” you possess is of great interest to The Party. In time, it could be forged into a powerful weapon of romantic victory. Report home, and stand by for further compliance.

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beliefnet matthew currie sagittarius compatibiity

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Sagittariuses are always being accused of treating their love lives as if they were a sporting event, rather than like love lives. And why not? There’s anticipation, competition, and… more often than not… someone loses. So in that spirit, here’s the handy Sagittarius race card for who’s in the running, with odds of a win. No horse in this race is a guaranteed winner, but some bets are a lot safer than others. Then again, no guts, no glory…

Here are today’s odds on a winning relationship for you, Sagittarius:

Aries and Leo (3:2 odds): A fairly safe bet. Popular favorites, both these Fire signs have the sport you require. You may find Aries is awfully hard to steer into the chute, and Leo is sometimes more interested in being a show pony than a race winner.

Gemini (3:1 odds): Quick, responsive, and sporty… much like yourself. This is a pairing that often has people saying “oh gosh, you two are perfect for each other!” The problem is that despite the horseplay, deep down you have a thick, chewy philosophical center. You may never get past the sneaking suspicion that, with Gemini, it’s question marks all the way down…

Libra and Aquarius (4:1 odds): Both good bets, overall, with proven records of performance. Generally pleasant to get along with. Libra sometimes has a preference for standing there are just looking pretty when the bell rings. Aquarius is a bit of a rebel, and you like that… but sometimes it’s hard to figure out what they’re rebelling against. It may be you.

Virgo and Pisces (5:1 odds): Both unusual choices: the squares to one’s own sign aren’t where you usually look for a safe relationship bet. But both of these tend to outperform in long muddy stretches, compared to their reputations. Who knows why? You probably just love the challenge. Pisces is sometimes lacking the horse sense you require in a mate, and Virgo on a bad day? Nag, nag, nag…

Taurus (6:1 odds): A bull… not a horse. This can lend a lot of stability to a relationship… something Sagittarius usual forgets to bring to the table. Pleasant and generally kind… but if you were expecting to saddle up a Bull and get anywhere quickly… you’re in the wrong race, pal.

Cancer (8:1 odds): Jupiter rules Sagittarius, and is exalted in Cancer. Theoretically, this should make for great mutual joy and a solid philosophical relationship. The problem here is that crabs are designed to withstand accidental trampling… but they’re always waiting for it too. And you’ll provide it… probably by accident. So long, Crab.

Sagittarius (9:1 odds): SAG 1: I’m having a great time! SAG 2: Me too! Did you remember to bring the stability? SAG 1: No dude, I thought you had that covered. SAG 2: And, damn, we’re outta beer. SAG 1: It’s okay, I’ll go to the store and get more. SAG 2: You aren’t coming back, are you? SAG 1: Probably not. SAG 2: Okay. Later, dude…

Capricorn (10:1 odds): Obstinate, stubborn, and although they can have a fiery temperament, that fire doesn’t seem to be fuelling anything visible, a lot of the time. They can provide a valuable stabilizing, steering force in your life. Do you need that? Hell yeah! Do you like that? If your answer is “yes,” it’s time for the veterinarian to cut back on your tranquilizers.

Scorpio (15:1 odds): They have all the intensity and focus you lack. Of course, you never really asked for intensity and focus. or you did, and it just isn’t your style. They like sex though, and you do too. A sure winner… provided all the other horses break their legs first, and Scorpio doesn’t break yours.

Oh, and one more thing, Sagittarius? You’ve already got a bad enough reputation for running around on your relationships. Don’t go betting on the trifecta, okay?

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beliefnet matthew currie scorpio compatibiityThere’s a mystery to be uncovered here. A blow to the heart… an intense, passionate experience causing shortness of breath, rapid irregular heartbeat, and a flood of endorphins throughout the nervous system, clouding judgement. Although it’s enticing, you can sense the ever-present specter of danger… and that only increases your curiosity.

Congratulations! You’re a Scorpio in a relationship! Here’s what you can expect…

***

Scene: The Las Vegas Coroner’s Autopsy Room. Chief Investigator Gil Grissom and coroner Dr. Al Robbins stand over the badly-mangled body of an adult male.

AL: Victim was a white male, approximately 35 years old, name unknown. A Scorpio.

GRISSOM: How can you tell?

AL: We found this medallion on the victim. Also, this scorpion tattoo. Scorpios love that stuff. There’s little sign of struggle… we can presume the victim knew his assailant…. probably someone he was in a relationship with.

GRISSOM: A Taurus?

AL: That’s a common guess… but notice the large chest wound. Tauruses are steady and sensual, which would explain the relationship, but their killing technique is usually through stubbornness… refusal to budge.

GRISSOM: Another Water Sign, maybe?

AL: Good possibility of it. They have the emotional depth a Scorpio is looking for. But I’d expect the body to be more weighed down with the assailant’s emotional baggage if it was a Cancer, and there’s no mawkish sentiment filling the lungs, so it wasn’t the usual Pisces drowning.

GRISSOM: It could have been a Capricorn.

AL: Yes. Scorpio’s seem to find them sexy, but there’s limited bruising here. Capricorn usually kill their partners by battering them to death with their inflexibility. Like Taurus, only edgier.

GRISSOM: An Aries, maybe? They’re both Mars-ruled, they both love excitement…

AL: And Aries doesn’t usually have the patience for Scorpio’s caution and analysis. Although admittedly the passion and potential violence of Aries and Scorpio together is noteworthy.

GRISSOM: It could have been another Scorpio.

AL: I doubt it. They cling on to each other passionately enough, but Scorpios usually bury their flaws… and their victims… deep enough for no one to find them until it’s too late. This guy was found on his couch. Notice the tissue under the victims fingernails: it matches the scarring around the ears. It’s self-inflicted.

GRISSOM: Like he was trying to claw out his own eardrums. Maybe a Gemini or a Virgo, then. Scorpios love watching the thought processes those two have, until the talking has gone on too long.

AL: Good point. But I’m not sure a relationship with a Gemini would have the depth our vic was looking for, and the victim’s eardrums aren’t swollen from the debating. I did a swab of the genitals… no recent sign of sexual activity. Scorpios usually go ape for Virgos that way. Death by nagging is the Virgo style, though.

GRISSOM: What about Sagittarius? Or a Libra?

AL: They both have their charms, but I’m not sure either one has the depth Scorpio is looking for. At least they don’t usually act like it enough to Scorpio’s liking. No glucose poisoning, which is Libra’s usual m.o., and no hoof marks from a Sagittarius stampeding away, which they usually do quickly.

GRISSOM: I suppose the logical place to look then would be with Scorpio’s least compatible signs… Leo and Aquarius.

AL: Aquarius is usually too hard to pin down for a Scorpio… which can be intriguing, but Aquariuses don’t usually kill off their victims so dramatically. They prefer to remove their partners through diffusion in abstract thought processes. A Leo certainly has the passion a Scorpio wants, but the Leo usually kills via self-importance and/or pomposity. I dusted for pomposity… none present.

(CSI agent SARAH SIDLE enters, waving a note)

SARAH: Gris, we found this note at the crime scene!

GRIS: You mean…?

SARAH: He did it to himself!

GRIS: We usually do, Sarah. We usually do.

Hey, did you enjoy reading that? I hope so. If you liked it, why not CLICK HERE and buy me a coffee?

Questions about your birth chart, or astrology in general? Want to know more about my big discount on readings for new clients? Write me for details!

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