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Harvest Moon in Pisces: Astrology Forecast And Drinking Game!

posted by Matthew Currie
beliefnet astrology matthew currie drunk

You’d be amazed how much research I put into this article.

Normally on a Full Moon I would be presenting a guide to what you can expect from those crazy jangled emotional nerves that happen when the Moon is full. Rather than do that, this time around I have decided to honor the nature of the Full Moon in Pisces by inviting you on a shamanic journey. Specifically: a journey to your neighborhood dive bar.

That’s right. I am prescribing a trip to the neighborhood bar on a Monday night (Yes. One of the lesser known side benefits of being an astrology is the ability to write prescriptions). You know it’s the hard-core drinking crowd hanging out there if it’s Monday. Since Pisces has a strong association with altering one’s consciousness, this is the perfect place to spend this Harvest Moon.

Although the Full Moon hits the exact degree on Monday evening, there’s no harm in doing this on Sunday evening, or even Tuesday evening. In fact if you want to get fully into the spirit of a Pisces Moon, you might want to stay camped out at that bar for all three days. This may also help you explore another facet of the Pisces Experience: wondering why the Universe has been so cruel as to make you lose your job and/or family.

Seat yourself in a corner where you can watch everyone else in the bar. Get to know the Sun Sign of everyone in the bar by asking them. If you are a little too shy for this, offer to buy them a drink in exchange for finding out their Sign. This is not only a great way to see astrology in action and to spread the word about the ancient art of prediction, it’s also an excellent way to make friends.

Once you’re seated comfortably, make sure you are equipped with several drinks. Watch the other people at the bar and how they interact. Because this a Full Moon that is conjunct Chiron s and is closely aspecting Saturn, you are likely to see some unusual effects, as follows:

If an Aries is acting paranoid or is complaining about what a grind their work is, drink.

If Taurus is being unusually sociable, laughing loudly, flirting, or saying stuff like “I love you guys,” drink

If a Gemini is complaining loudly about their career path, the workload involved, their parents, or their home, drink.

If that Cancer over there seems particularly suspicious of other people’s motives, drink. Please note: this one is also good for other Full Moon drinking games.

If your local Leo is talking a lot about money, sex, or how they generally suspect they are being screwed over as a result of either one, drink.

If the Virgo in the bar seems unusually cheerful, outgoing, concerned with their partner, or is desperately seeking a partner, drink.

If a Libra seems overly concerned with his or her appearance, the fine details of how their accessories match, then this is absolutely nothing new… but drink anyway.

If one of the Scorpios in the bar seems to be taking their mood out on someone else, either by starting a fight or attempting to start a relationship, drink. Drink twice if they’re going after the Libra.

If a Sagittarius is complaining loudly about their work or home life, drink. If that Sagittarius also insists that continuing to drink will somehow make it better, drink twice.

If your Capricorn seems to have turned suddenly talkative and philosophical, and appears to be working out some major life issues out loud, drink. If you can convince the Capricorn to dig into their savings to buy you a drink, drink twice.

If an Aquarius is acting like they’ve got money to burn, and spending it on their friends, drink. If the Aquarius is actively flirting with anyone, drink twice. If this is actually a wealthy Aquarius, see if you can get the Aquarius to propose to you or at least proposition you (based on your own situation of course).

If the Pisces is acting friendly yet fretful, cheerful yet nervous, and intrigued yet intimidated by you, drink. In fact, this Full Moon is happening in Pisces’ First House, so see if you can talk to Pisces into buying around for the house. Sure, Pisces will feel guilty about that tomorrow, but they were likely going to end up that way anyhow.

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Astrology And Order: Bieber Victims Unit

posted by Matthew Currie

beliefnet astrology matthew currie bieber courtSinger, enormous celebrity, and poster child for the results of poor parenting Justin Bieber is once again in legal trouble, this time for smacking his ATV into a minivan and starting a dustup with someone in his hometown of Stratford, Canada.

(An aside: both Justin Bieber and myself are Canadians. In general we have a reputation for being peaceful and polite. But have you noticed that no matter how you slice up the human pie, there’s always that one guy who screws it up for the rest? Justin Bieber is “that one guy” for Canada.)

I wrote about Justin here back in January, and at that time he was facing some problems, but I urged him to contact me so I could warn him about the potential even more difficult stuff ahead. Despite my best efforts, he did not contact me about this. Justin, you really need to get yourself better social media people to keep an eye on these things, okay?

So now, instead of a stern warning, it’s time to deliver a preview of bad news yet to come.

It’s a little too easy to look at Justin’s chart and say “Sun in Pisces and Moon in Libra: he’s unrealistic and his friends lead him astray.” You can look at the same Sun/Moon combination in Michael Caine or Rudolph Nureyev or Sydney Poitier and find good things to say about it. And if you’re having a bad day, you could point out the similarity to Joseph Mengele or serial killer Aileen Wuornos. If you put your mind to it, astrology is as good as ethnicity or religion or social status as an excuse to match your preconceptions about someone.

So instead, let’s just look at the cold hard astrological facts. What is coming up for Justin Bieber on his scheduled court date, September 29?

First of all, knowing how the legal system works, we cannot assume he will actually be in court that day, or that the proceedings will be wrapped up that quickly. In fact, by the end of September, Justin is just beginning some transits that could cause him a potential world of hurt.

When it comes to facing the consequences of one’s actions, we often look to Saturn. At the end of September, Saturn will just be entering conjunction range of Bieber’s North Node, Pluto, and Ascendant. This certainly implies a strong potential for Justin to be facing some life-changing consequences (Pluto) as a result of his “karma” (North Node) or “how he comes across to people” (Ascendant). But at the end of September, Saturn is in a much closer Square to his Mercury and Mars. Mercury is the ruler of Bieber’s Midheaven, which is public image, and Mars rules aggression. So it’s not too hard to see that this particular court case of his might turn out to be a little less consequence-free than previous court cases he’s had for other bad behavior. It does not help any that Neptune will be stationing within a degree of his Saturn, which is never a good sign for maintaining order in one’s life.

But now here’s where things get interesting. That big Saturn conjunction doesn’t become exact until November-December, and thanks to a retrograde it will be back again in July-August 2015, at which time Saturn will turn direct and go forward within 1/6 of a degree of the exact conjunction to Justin’s Pluto.

Translation? The rest of the year will probably suck for Justin Bieber, but we likely ain’t seen nothing yet. That is especially the case when you consider that it is his Sun trine Jupiter in water Signs that is driving much of his excessive behavior, Uranus is exactly quincunx his Jupiter now… but thanks to the retrograde it will be making that exact aspect again in March 2015, which is also when Justin Bieber will be having his exact Jupiter square, which is a strong indicator of more excessive behavior.

Oh my.

Despite all this, I remain optimistic. Justin, drop me a line. There’s still hope for you yet kid.

 

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Joan Rivers, Can We Talk About Your Birth Chart? (Updated)

posted by Matthew Currie
beliefnet astrology matthew currie joan rivers

A nip here, a tuck there, this birth chart will look good as new!

Dear Joan: I am sorry to hear about the recent incident that happened during surgery, where you went into cardiac arrest. Your daughter says you are “resting comfortably” now, which usually means “this was bad but she’s gonna be okay.” These things can happen at the best of times to any of us, but I’ll admit that I’m a little surprised that the surgery in question wasn’t cosmetic – oh Joan, you can take it. You know what I’m saying. I’ve seen 1956 Buicks that have more original parts than you do by this point. (Ba dum-bah!) I am particularly concerned though that the surgery you had was on your vocal chords. After all, being able to speak is important to anyone, but a Gemini? It’s a cliché but it’s true: you’ve got something to say. And a Gemini with Moon in Sagittarius isn’t exactly known for its quiet reserve either. I don’t think that it is any accident that you called your biography “Enter Talking.” I’m sure that at Passover dinners when you were a kid, your parents probably opened the door for the return of Elijah, and probably hoped he’d take you with him after he left.

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I tease because I love, Joan. But let’s talk about that birth chart of yours now. Can we talk? Your Sun, Mercury, and Venus are all in Gemini in the Third House. Astrologically speaking, if that’s not a recipe for “Born To Talk,” I don’t know what it is. The strange thing is though: what has really driven the talking in your life has been Mars and Jupiter, and those are the same planets that led to your sudden heart attack and respiratory arrest during surgery a few days ago. Either that or it was the shock when you realized that when the surgeon cut into you, he’d be able to count your rings and tell how old you really are. (Ba dum-bah!) You see, Joan: the emotional pressures that can be caused by the Sun-Moon opposition are fueled in your case by having Mars and Jupiter conjunct in Virgo, in a very close Square to your Sun and Moon. I admit that many people would label this combination as “abrasive.” I’m sure a few people you’ve told jokes about have thought of you that way too. But that’s okay, because at least you’ve produce some entertainment with it. This Mars-Jupiter conjunction in your birth chart was being prominently aspected when you had that surgery that went wrong. I wish you had spoken to your astrologer before you scheduled this procedure, because there are a couple of very distinct warning signs there for you here. The Sixth House of the birth chart is the general ruler of health matters, and that is where your Mars Jupiter conjunction lies. Anytime you do anything medical, Joan, you’ve got to be aware of the transits to 14–15° Virgo. One aspect but is often associated with health matters is the quincunx: a weird little aspect that can crop up and cause all sorts of unexpected problems. And sure enough, there was Uranus at 15° Aries, making the quincunx to your Mars-Jupiter conjunction. So Joan – can we talk? Seriously, listen: the next couple of years are not going to be good at all for surgery, cosmetic or otherwise. And yes, we’ve noticed you had more than your fair share of nips and tucks over the last decade. But Uranus is a slow planet, and the quincunx is a very touchy aspect, so for your own sake… let us just love you the way you are, okay? At least what’s left of you behind the silicone injections. (Ba dum-bah!) Seriously Joan. We love you, so sit down, shut up and get better… and back away from the scalpel for the next couple of years, won’t you? Thanks, Joan. You’ve been a great audience. The buffet’s open ’til 10, make sure you tip your waitress. Good night!

UPDATE: At 1:17 PM Thursday, as the transiting Moon-Pluto conjunction squared the Moon in the chart for the surgery. Joan Rivers passed away. As her daughter said in a statement:  “My mother’s greatest joy in life was to make people laugh. Although that is difficult to do right now, I know her final wish would be that we return to laughing soon.” Thanks Joan. You were great. Good night.

Want a free e-book? Sure you do! Click HERE!

Questions about your birth chart, or astrology in general? Want to know more about my big discount on readings for new clients? Want a free month of my NEW Subscription Service? Write me for details!

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Neptune And The Food Babe: A Venti Latte Full Of Delusion

posted by Matthew Currie

beliefnet astrology matthew currie pumpkinspicetoxins (Dear Reader: this blog entry was written as a shamanic channeling of the nature of Neptune, which rules altered states of consciousness. I began writing this article with a full tank of caffeine, and every time throughout the article when you see 

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…that means I have consumed another full cup of coffee.)

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I’m wise to your tricks, Neptune. I see you up there, hovering around in the low degrees of Pisces, the Sign you rule. You’re so slow and so quiet that sometimes it’s easy to forget you’re there. It’s especially easy now, since you aren’t involved in any major outer planet aspects like the Saturn-Uranus quincunx or the Uranus-Pluto square. Your next major outer planet transit is a square from Saturn, and that doesn’t kick in until the end of the year, so you’re easy to forget. But you’re still out there working your magic and weaving your illusions and occasionally feeding into people’s delusions. Neptune rules a lot of things, like fuzzy thinking, fears of contamination, and celebrity. Case in point: noted “food blogger” Vani Hari a.k.a. “The Food Babe.”

Hari (Born March 22, 1980, time unknown, Charlotte North Carolina) is, as you might expect from an Aries with moon in Gemini, a passionate communicator. And I’m certainly in favor of information, and I don’t doubt that a lot of the food that modern living provides us with is frankly terrible. But at the same time, The Food Babe has made a cottage industry out of spreading misinformation, and has apparently made a decent buck at it.

Case in point: The “deadly” Starbucks pumpkin spice latte. The Food Babe is responsible for disseminating a tall and delicious cup of disinformation about this product.

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If you spent much time on Facebook, you’ve noticed how real information and research can be easily replaced by a catchy infographic. I’ve fallen into that trap to at times because, let’s be honest, infographics are pretty cool, as humans we sometimes fall short when it comes to fact checking if we find something flashy that we agree with. But like a lame corporate PowerPoint presentation, they can be long on impact and short on actual usefulness or factual basis. We love these things though, and we all fall for them at times. Remember that picture of Obama taking everyone’s guns and putting them in the FEMA concentration camp (Or was it Mitt Romney squeezing the blood out of a puppy for cash? I forget) that you just loved a couple of years ago? Have you noticed that none of that stuff never really happened? And although Neptune doesn’t really rule “wealth,” you can make a decent buck feeding into someone’s preconceptions if they put their mind to it. Which brings us to The Food Babe and her fear of the Starbucks Pumpkin Latte.

Let me cut to the chase about the infographic pictured above

-Caramel Color IV, a carcinogen? Not that anyone reputable seems to have noticed. Also: “made with ammonia”? Ooh, that’s a scary sounding chemical. Never mind that just one of your kidneys alone produces far more ammonia per day than you’ll ever find in a latte.

-No real pumpkin in the ingredients? Seriously: have you ever examined the contents of a pumpkin? How are you supposed to drink that stringy goo anyway?

-Do GMOs cause cancer and inflammation? Well, darned if I’m going to brawl over GMOs here (that’s what Facebook is for!), but so far the scientific consensus seems to be “no” and “yes if you’re prone to that sort of thing, except when they actually make it better.”

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There’s a bunch of other stuff wrong with this thing, but just take my word for it.

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The Food Babe has been warning us about the hazards in some foods for years now, but it’s only in the last couple of years – since Neptune has been conjunction Mercury – that her research has gotten particularly sloppy. She went after a chemical called azodicarbonamide, now better known as “the yoga mat material,” that is used in a lot of bread products. It’s generally considered safe and is only ever used in small amounts, but Subway have voluntarily removed it based on the probably-unnecessary panic Vani Hari caused over it.

Then she pressured America’s two biggest breweries to released their complete ingredients of their beers, despite the fact that these are generally considered “trade secrets.” And – surprise! – It turns out there was nothing scary and your beer. But hey, knowledge is power and so is publicity, right?

But then there is her ridiculousness about microwave ovens. She claims that microwaves destroy nutrients, whereas in fact there are only tiny differences between the nutritional content of food microwaved and food cooked conventionally, and microwaving can actually help your food retain more nutrients than conventional cooking. Oh, she also likes to point out that microwave ovens were used by German soldiers in World War II. This is the equivalent to the argument that “if Hitler was a vegetarian, then being a vegetarian is wrong” So there! THERE!

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And no, microwaves aren’t really “radiation,” at least in the scary radioactive sense. Look it up!

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My heart feels like it’s pounding hard enough to pump maple syrup through a straw, but I’M REALLY GETTING WORK DONE TODAY YEAH!! Starbucks Starbucks Starbucks!!

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The Internet has made it faster and easier to spread disinformation than any other time in human history. Like, remember a while ago when everyone was in a panic about cyanide in their apple juice? Now it is true that apples produce cyanide naturally. But do you know how much cyanide? Here’s how you kill someone with the cyanide in apples:

1) carefully select and dry 20 pounds of apples seeds.

2) place the 20 pounds of apple seeds in a pillowcase and tie it tightly shut.

3) repeatedly smash someone in the head with the pillowcase until they are dead.

4) garnish the shattered cranium with a sprig of organic mint… which contains menthol. Menthol can be lethal to humans in doses as small as 2 g.

THAT’S how much cyanide there is in apple juice.

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Again: I appreciate the work that some do to watch out for the potential problems in our foods. But please, Vani… heed your astrologer’s warning and spend the next couple of years doing extra research before you start spreading opinions about how deadly something may be. Neptune is going to be on your Mercury for a long time, and there could be bigger embarrassments coming for you yet. YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL MAKING PUBLIC PRONOUNCEMENTS UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF NEPTUNE.

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YYYYEEEAAAAAHHHH!!!!

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Want a free e-book? Sure you do! Click HERE!

Questions about your birth chart, or astrology in general? Want to know more about my big discount on readings for new clients? Want a free month of my NEW Subscription Service? Write me for details!

CLICK HERE to join the Oh My Stars Facebook Fan Page, and get exclusive content, an additional discount on a reading, more material on blog entries, AND ANOTHER free e-book!

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