The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog

Heart Song

guitar

 

Lately, I have been more acutely aware of the connection between the cardiac muscle that keeps blood pumping through my body and sustains this corporeal existence and the emotional center that has made my thus far, more than 55 years on the planet worthwhile. Going on month two of my new life, post heart attack. Moving still at times, with Zen-like slowness, I am not allowing experience to zip by like scenery through a car window on a cross country road trip. Instead, I am taking notice of the most minute details of conversations, breathing in the meaning of words. Speaking more softly, of necessity, since breathing, walking and talking require intention at the moment. Becoming more yin and less yang, which had been skewed in the other direction before. I thought I had to move heart-forward, wearing it like a shield, because, I reasoned that if people could see it, like the big S on Superman’s chest, then they wouldn’t have to guess who was standing before them. The good news is that it brought friends, readers, clients and students into my life. The bad news, is that it had me believing that I needed to keep putting out, reaching out, striving, and efforting in order to maintain those relationships. Just as blood doesn’t flow one way in the physiological heart, neither does love flow only one way in healthy and sustained relationships.

Sadly, I have needed to step away from relationships in which it seemed that there was way more going out than coming in. The hope is that there will come a time when the parties involved will be willing to invest their hearts in our interactions and I welcome them back in. Since I have been in receptivity mode, I have witnessed huge changes in terms of the flow of good in my life. New people, opportunities to travel, teach and write, as well as  deeper spiritual exploration, arrive daily. Sleep, blessed sleep, has been a more frequent visitor, whereas a month or so ago it eluded me, playing hide and seek.

As I was packing up my office to leave a job I had for the past two years, I found two quotes that inspired me then and even more now.

“Everything in my life responds to the song of the heart.”-Ernest Holmes

“Every single day, do something that makes your heart sing.”-Marcia Wieder

This morning, as I was up before dawn, I am in awe of the music of life-not just the birdsong outside my bedroom window, but the bunny who huddled on the lawn, the tunes emanating from the radio, the awareness that my heart is beating rhythmically and propelling me out into the day in which I will interact with new friends and expand my world that much more.

 

Photo Credit:Tremulo

 

 

To Live Significantly

 

 

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Many years ago, one of my college friends named Gina Foster had relayed a bit of wisdom that I treasure. She said that she endeavored to “live significantly,” and that she does.  I knew instantly what she meant and agreed that it was my mission too. It isn’t about merely taking up space on the planet and isn’t a call to focus on what happens after we pass. Certainly, each of us leaves a legacy, for better or worse and most folks would rather be remembered fondly. In my mind, it indicates a willingness to make a difference in the here and now.

Every day presents an opportunity to show caring, to respond to a need, to reach out beyond the familiar and stretch comfort zones. As Albert Einstein said; “Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

For some, living significantly means making a big splash, getting noticed and having a huge impact on a lot of people. What if it really meant touching one life who went on to reach out to others and pay it forward and you were simply the catalyst for that chain of events? Could you accept being a supporting player, rather than being cast in the starring role?  It has taken many years for me to embrace that possibility, since I have always loved being center stage and have been the wind beneath the wings for others. Who knows how many lives you have positively impacted as a result of doing that yourself?

My way of doing that remains communicating through the written and spoken word. It requires being a haven for healing hearts and my own. What I do matters and what you do matters. As I endeavor to live significantly, I offer encouragement for everyone else to do that as well.

Photo Credit:  The Glory of Friendship by katerha/everystockphoto

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Queen of Reinvention

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When you look in the mirror, who do you see?  Not ‘what do you see”?  Go beyond appearance….way beyond…go inward. What does this person think, feel, say and do?  Does that contribute to the makeup of their identity?  Perhaps. How about their history?  Not so much, as I like to remind people “Your history is not your destiny.”  We each have the right to create our lives in our own image. Awesome responsibility comes with it, since when we do that, we have no one to blame if it doesn’t turn out to our liking.  Many feel they are at the mercy of family, friends, their jobs, the media, the government, God… I imagine that is pretty painful. Never have I allowed myself to feel like a victim of circumstance for any length of time.  I would much rather take credit for my successes and responsibility for my errors in judgment, or as a friend has said “mistakes of epic proportions.”  Even those have been stepping stones to the wondrous life I am living now.

For the first time ever, I have become remarkably introspective, dynamically still and silent when once I was a whirlwind of activity, a tornado of thought, sucking everything up into the funnel to be dumped into my ceaselessly busy buzzy brain. Sighing a lot.  Dreaming a lot. Staring into space a lot. Aimlessly wandering  a lot. That would have been unthinkable before. How silly to believe that the world would stop rotating on its axis if  I did. How arrogant to think I had that kind of power. How rewarding it is to take pause. As I do that, all that I have desired is coming into my life. The inner peace I have so desperately wanted surrounds me. The abundance in all areas splashes over me. The from the heart relationships are deepening.

I barely recognize the woman in the mirror; I even look different. Softer, calmer, more present. Taking one breath at a time. One step at a time. Almost one thought at a time; admittedly, there are still some vying for attention, but I have been asking them to wait their turn and sometimes they do.  As I do, life gets easier. As I listen to my inner guidance,  I am able to attract with little need to pursue what I want. Of course, I still set intention and take inspired action, but it is less insistent and more surrendered. Such a sense of peace accompanies it.

 

I like it that way as I become the Queen of Reinvention.  God has indeed ‘saved the Queen’ as she savors her new life.

 

Photo credit:  Princess Headwear  by melodi2

What a Difference

 

omhandWhat a difference a month makes!  When I awoke on June 12th, I had no idea that I would be indeed be experiencing an awakening unlike anything I had ever known. Going through my normal routine, planning my day in my head that included a full day of clients, writing deadlines, promo for upcoming events, a quick breakfast and out the door I went to the gym. Nothing unusual occurred until I was headed home and I felt a series of sensations that included jaw tightness, drenching sweats and heart burn pain that seared across my back and chest. All of these added up to the certainty that my heart was going haywire. Got myself to the hospital where interventions were immediate…a stent inserted in my collapsed artery and then I was toted to a bed where I hung out for a few days; all manner of wires, monitors, tubes, IV’s and meds were applied. Caring staff offered their best, loving family and friends showed up and both supported and chastised since they saw it coming. I had been running at a ridiculous pace, 12 hour days with maybe 6 hours sleep in between, for months..maybe years. Full time job, many consulting writing and speaking gigs filling in the dubious gaps. All in service to my fears of not being able to support myself added up to near shut down. How long had this been brewing? There had been two other health crises last year that I hadn’t heeded, so my body screamed louder. It got my attention this time. Not letting this heart attack go to waste. I have learned several things as a result.

1. I am human. As much as I like to see myself as invulnerable and invincible, this corporeal existence will one day end.

2. My body needs attention, nurturing, scrupulous self care, rather than neglect and inattention. That means rest…even God was rumored to have done that,  at least for a day.

3. People are there to support me as much as I am to support them. I need not be Wonder Woman to be loved.

4. Emotions play a huge role in physical wellbeing. As a career therapist, I knew this and yet, I repressed feelings for so many years, that they were coming out my ears. Unexpressed grief over my parents’ deaths over the past few years, a paradoxical marriage that ended in 1998 when my husband died following a 6 year illness, raising a child solo, living as a co-dependent caregiver for most of my life while guiding clients in creating healthy lives. The adages: ‘We teach what we need to learn,’ and ‘Healer, heal thyself.’ are pertinent here.

5. Spiritual faith can get me through anything. In the midst of my fears of ‘not enough-ness,’ I discovered a spark of certainty that all was well and would be well.

6. Learned resilience has been my strength. I have bounced back beautifully.

7. Slow and steady are watchwords now. Zen like simplicity in thoughts that had been cluttered and chaotic. Moving at a one step at a time pace; as if walking a labyrinth.

8. I am a work in progress and am ever evolving.

Who knows the outcome of this adventure?  I am eager to discover.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Previous Posts

All of It
  Another one of those wee hours wake-ups when life beckons me to the keyboard to type what I may not be able to experience emotionally. I came upon the words of Panache Desai,  author and spiritual teacher who I had the joy of hearing back in 2011 at the Celebrate Your Life Conference in P

posted 6:15:45am Jul. 25, 2014 | read full post »

Rocks Crumble
Had an insight today that had me laughing at the perfect absurdity while speaking with my friend Gail Lynne Goodwin from Inspire Me Today.  She had called to offer loving support with the roller coaster ride that has been my life of late,  and we were musing about being adult orphans since both se

posted 7:06:56am Jul. 23, 2014 | read full post »

Living in the Questions
  Since I don't have a television, the only times I watch are at the gym, at other people's homes or (as I am doing right now), in the hospital. Propped up in bed with yet another health challenge. A little more than a month ago, it was a heart attack. Back in November, it was shingles and i

posted 2:27:43pm Jul. 20, 2014 | read full post »

Power to the Peaceful
      I was a child during the Viet Nam War. Images of destruction, napalm, death, protests, tears, verbal and sometimes heated physical altercations between those in favor of the conflict and those opposed to it, streamed across our television screen daily. War never

posted 8:52:13am Jul. 19, 2014 | read full post »

Heart Song
  Lately, I have been more acutely aware of the connection between the cardiac muscle that keeps blood pumping through my body and sustains this corporeal existence and the emotional center that has made my thus far, more than 55 years on the planet worthwhile. Going on month two of my new l

posted 6:07:50am Jul. 18, 2014 | read full post »


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