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The Bliss Blog

I am writing this after a weekend overflowing with sensory input, such that I am left pondering how my body could take it all in. After completing a full week of work that included counseling clients in a therapy practice, writing articles for the various websites to which I contribute, doing promo work for a client, and gym workouts, I hopped in my Jeep and headed Southward to Virginia. Under normal circumstances, the PA to VA trek takes around 3 1/2 hours and I sometimes find myself nodding off somewhere along the 95 corridor between Delaware and Maryland. This time, I did a pre-emptive end run by asking friends to beam good mojo for me to keep my eyes open. Since my heart attack in 2014, caffeine is forbidden, so I needed to sing my way en route. Arriving before midnight, so I didn’t turn into a pumpkin, I walked into my friend Mitch’s house to be greeted with hugs and cuddles by Mitch and another friend named Beth who had driven several more hours than I, as she lives in Northern New Jersey near the New York border. We chatted a bit and I headed for pillows and blankets, tumbling into dreamland.


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The next morning had us driving another 90 minutes to open Mitch’s cabin for the season. Nestled into nature, his family’s property is called 7 Islands,  and it holds a rustic, high peaked structure that feels like a treehouse as it overlooks a lake and all manner of growing things. The Blue Ridge Mountains are snuggled nearby as well. Gathering cleaning accouterment, a few of us scrubbed floors, windows, bathrooms, refrigerators, counter tops, and walls. Listening to music, we sang and danced along, making the job that much easier. Later in the afternoon, we headed in a pickup truck over to the larger house on the property, situated on a 50-acre lake. Climbing the stairs to the crows’ nest (think tall ship) on the roof of the home, we discovered the sad sight of a tiny baby bird, who had fallen from the nest and crossed The Rainbow Bridge to its next incarnation. Lying nearby was a sibling who was barely breathing while not so comfortably basking in the hot sun. Beth gently scooped it up and tucked it into a washcloth. Mitch contacted a specialized veterinary hospital as I began to offer it Reiki. We got into the car as he drove the 90 minutes to get the bird treated. Along the way, it began to perk up as I spoke to it, encouragingly. It opened its tiny mouth and I was sorry I had no worms to feed it. It then began to serenade us with its insistent chirp. When we arrived and handed it off to one of the vet techs, she told us she thought it was a starling as she assured us that they would take care of this foundling. It seemed that we were all at the right place at the right time. Yesterday I called to discover that there are health care privacy laws for animals too and they couldn’t tell me anything except it was likely that the winged one was taken to a rehab program where it will be nurtured and then introduced back into the wild. Right place, right time, since had we been a few minutes later, it might have joined its brother or sister in a new incarnation.18194672_10212619048689329_4396547483345422148_n

After showering for the next round of fun, the bunch of us went to an Italian restaurant where we indulged in mangia and music. There was a 1960’s-70’s cover band called Bad Hair Day whose music compelled us to dance.

 

The next morning I had a delightful interlude with a lover in whose presence I feel well cared for and nurtured. He and I entered each others’ lives five or six years ago and our paths cross every few months now. It is as if no time has passed and we pick up where we left off.

A few hours later, I found myself surrounded by 21 other PJ-clad cuddly souls as I facilitated one of my favorite workshops called Cuddle Party which offers guidance on communication and boundary setting, as well as provides an opportunity to experience safe, nurturing, non-sexual touch, by consent.  I marvel at the response from people who enter with trepidation and leave glowing. A safe, sacred space is created for people to experiment with what does and doesn’t work for them and in many cases, open the door to healing longstanding issues. I love the idea that the world is a more loving place because of the thousands of people all over the planet have attended.

After the Cuddle Party, I packed up the car and prepared for my long venture home.  I was driving on 95 in Delaware and a large piece of something flew off the back of a pickup truck in front of me. I took a deep breath as it headed for my car and then lofted up into the sky and bounced into the lane next to me. Fortunately, it didn’t hit anyone else’s car either. A prayer of gratitude. Seems I had guardian angels looking out for me.

It occurred to me this morning that although we are not empty vessels needing other people to fill us up, it sure feels good when they do.

100

I have been thinking about the first 100 days of this administration and it caused me to consider what I accomplished during that time span to help heal the rifts which occurred that are crying out for mending. From the day in November after the unthinkable happened and I awoke to experience a sense of depression and anxiety to which I am not prone, I knew that I didn’t have the luxury of complacence. Immediate action was called for. I discovered that the activist in me who had marched for the ERA. for LGBTQ rights, for peace, for alternatives to nuclear power, for the environment, for civil rights, was being re-launched. I put legs under my values.

I wrote copious articles about the impact it would have on the globe and not just our country. In part, I did it as a way of expressing my angst and helplessness. I participated in the Women’s March in Philly on January 22nd, as I was surrounded by people of all ages from all over the planet who were standing up and speaking out against injustice and for the kind of world in which we chose to live and to leave for future generations. I organized several Free hug events in Philly, Bucks County  and DC. Counseled

I counseled therapy clients who are struggling as a result. Some of them expressed a sense of overwhelming dread and helplessness. My role was to assist them in transforming their fear into action themselves. Many have since rebounded.

I made calls and sent emails to representatives asking that they vote in the best interest of future generations. I speak out wherever I can in an attempt to educate and if I can’t change minds, at least I can soften hearts. I have built bridges across the divide since when I hug people, I don’t always know who they voted for. Opened my heart to more love and welcomed new people into my life. I have stretched comfort zones.

I am expanding my fitness goals and activities as I spend more time at the gym and on my bicycle. I am planning to do a 5k in the Fall which is both exhilarating and a bit scary to anticipate.

I am speaking my truth; willing to be vulnerable. I am expressing more gratitude. I am welcoming in abundance in all forms. Facing fierce fears. Grieving losses. Living full out. How have you spent the past 100 days?

I think of this time in history as a snow globe that got shaken up when the Electoral College votes were tallied. The glitter swirled and landed and got swept up over and over. Although they have not completely settled down and may never, given the ripple effect of what is going on in our nation’s capital, at least they are not, for the moment in a blinding swirl.

sunrise

On this glorious Easter Sunday morning, I showed up at my regular spiritual gathering place called Circle of Miracles. There I find nourishment for my heart and soul. Today’s ‘speaker/spark’ as the presenter is called was Paolo Propato. Besides being a skillful healer, he is also a from-the-heart speaker who claims not to be particularly articulate. You could have fooled me. Sometimes (even for this prolific writer), less is more when it comes to the use of words. He began the message with the ideas that  “It’s all okay. You’re already there. There’s nothing you need to do. The mind is supposed to be the servant of the heart.”  It could not have been more perfectly stated for this recovering Type A workaholic who often zooms through life, feeling as if she has to perform to be thought worthy. Call it a lifelong condition and one I am (wanting to use the word working to, but that would be an oxymorondesiring and intending to overcome. It takes so much awareness to even notice when I am in human doing, rather than human being mode. I work hard, play hard, live large as often as possible, little recognizing at times that this body, this mind, this heart needs rest and reprieve.  My treasured friends remind me that I am not invulnerable and invincible as much as I would like to believe I am.

Lately, I have been confronting the just-don’t-knows of this human existence. I have railed against injustice; the ways in which events are unfolding on the planet with the new administration in the states taking over, the ways in which things seems to be falling apart and really they are falling together such that might not have occurred had we not faced such dire consequences. Maybe we have become complacent. Perhaps we needed to let our shake-ups be our wake-ups.

In the midst of this, I still have a habit of wanting to know the answers; the how comes? of circumstances as they unfold.

 

Perhaps I need just to let the mystery be and love it with all I’ve got.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

memo

Today’s theme is around relationships as I spent time on the phone speaking with friends about the roller coaster ride journey most of us are on with regard to one of the most important aspects of this human incarnation. One just ended a seven-month experience the second time around with a man and the other is in a polyamorous relationship with someone who has been in her life a brief period of time and there are issues that are troubling to her. Some friends have health issues that they are facing, others still, financial and career challenges.

All of these people are adept at summoning most of what they want in their lives. I find myself in those paradigms as well at the moment. They, like me, use the Law of Attraction to call to us our hearts’ desires.  Even in the midst of this, each of us bumps up against human limitation. We cast desires out into what Abraham-Hicks refers to as ‘the vortex‘ and need to wait for them to return as if they were boomerangs. Sometimes they come back to us in the form we expect and at others, polar-opposite of what we have asked for. That’s what is referred to as a WTF moment in which we are left shaking our heads asking, “Who thought this one up?” That’s when I question whether it makes sense in any form. Only afterward, can I gain some perspective and understand  THAT’S why that person or experience has come to me in the way they did. I still want it to be easy and flowing, especially when it feels frustrating and daunting. “Come on, God/Goddess/All That Is, can’t it just be easy? I promise to do my part, now you do yours.” There are times, as I view the Source as an external energy, that either gives me what I want or deprives me of my desires. When I am in that mindset, I feel limited and helpless. When I perceive myself as part of that divine force, the more control I have and know that is futile to resist what shows up since I have been complicit with its co-creation. It is also when I get feisty with the Universe, and almost demand to know why what I have asked for has not appeared as summoned. Another skill I have developed is creating in my mind, particular scenarios that play out step by step as I have seen it. With it come the cautionary thoughts that it be for the Highest Good and that all involved have free will. And, who doesn’t want what they want when they want it?

My friends and I all agreed that clearly, the Divine didn’t get the memo. After all, we have laid the foundation, provided the grunt work, planted the seeds, done everything we are told needed to be done and then surrendered outcome. Even so, we sometimes face what we perceive as unanswered prayers.

In my case, I find myself in existential dilemmas not always certain which way to turn. Since the cardiac event in 2014, I do live heart forward, as if each day could be my last. The quandary with that remains, ‘what if it isn’t?’ I don’t want to be irresponsible and leave a mess in my wake that someone else might need to clean up. Analytical at times and too much in my head, I ruminate over which way to turn. I ask myself if I can’t just enjoy the moment, reading the book page by page without feeling compelled to read the last one and see how the story ends. I query the wisdom of my choices….if this, then that. How about all the what ifs and if only second guessing that I do?  Spinning my wheels ceaselessly as if I was stuck in a snow bank. It gets exhausting.

After all this time, I am still more in question than answer mode. Maybe I’m the one who needs to re-write the memo.