The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog

Open Tabs

Photo: Edie Weinstein,<br /><br /><br /><br />
That describes hypomania as well..... I can relate....

 

Chances are you have seen the commercial from back in the 80′s  called This is your brain on drugs. In case you weren’t yet born, check it out and in case you were old enough to remember it, here it is for your re-viewing pleasure.  Although I am drug and alcohol free (by choice and not of necessity), I have my  ’this is your brain on hyper-drive’ moments. Lately, they have been looking like double booking clients, forgetting appointments, quadruple checking on them (and no, I don’t have OCD) and  last month was actually a week early for a meeting. Good thing the person was at home after I drove nearly an hour to get there and she was gracious enough to accommodate my middle-age (a.k.a ‘wise woman’) moment with good humor.

Easily distracted lately, I am amazed that I am able to accomplish as much as I do; checking things off a multi-item list with glee. There are times when I don’t complete every little detail, but am thrilled when I get close to the bottom of the list with little squiggly lines drawn across the activities that once glared at me with a double dog dare you to tackle me squint. At the moment, I am writing this at 10:18pm after a day that began at 7 with writing, seeing my first client at 10 am and finishing with my final client for the day at 8:30pm. I thought about staying later to finish some paperwork, but instead, reminded myself that the kindest thing would be to take my weary self home. When I pulled into my development 30 minutes later, I wished I had stayed those few extra minutes since the flashing red and blue lights of a police car greeted me when I did. I wondered what had attracted such attention, since I knew I hadn’t been speeding and had not gone through any red lights. The officer approached my car with a question about whether I had been swerving a few miles back to avoid one of the many (might as well have been landmine) potholes that graced the back roads of rural Bucks County, PA. Apparently, someone had witnessed me and called 911 to inform them. I confirmed that this was the source of my veering across the yellow line, not because I had been drinking. Such an irony, feeling a need to explain that this teetotaler was on her way home from her job counseling those who have gotten behind the wheel impaired. At any rate, I cooled my heels after handing over the appropriate documentation, while the officer ran my information. He came back a few minutes later, laughing a bit, since another officer who had pulled up as backup knew me from a robbery we had at her home a few years ago. He assured this comrade that I didn’t drink. Wonder how he knew that; but whatever the reason, I had angels looking over me, since I didn’t get ticketed and not even issued a warning. I could close that tab at least.

I know that I keep tabs open even in my sleep, since my mostly entertaining dreams are often a carryover from waking hours. Dreamed last night about my radio show and doing it outside in the snow, running around with a microphone, trying to track down my elusive guest. I also dreamed about my parents going to Hawaii which is a destination to which they had never traveled, but had wanted to. My guess is that they could do it anytime they wanted to know that they need not fly on metallic wings.

My  mind is frequently scheming, plotting and conjuring ideas for all kinds of creative mischief that almost always becomes tangibly real. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I only kept a few tabs open at once. Would I be even more productive if I didn’t have my (clean) fingers in a whole bunch of pies, so many plates spinning on dowels and so many colorful balls and bowling pins lofting in the air?  I am willing to find out.

 

 

 

Legacy

posted by skirk

richamyandashley

There are some people who get into your bone marrow and decades later, remain with you.  When I met Rich Foster along with his wife Gina at Glassboro State College in the late 1970′s, I was at Together, Inc. which was a counseling center where many of my friends worked. A motley crew of creative souls, who have experienced weddings, divorces, births, deaths and illnesses in the interceding years, we are part of each other’s lives to this day.

On April 6th, 1990, an event occurred that in an instant, changed the course of the lives of Gina, Amy and Ashley Foster and countless members of the ‘family of choice’ circles of which Rich was a part. On his favorite mode of transportation (a bicycle), heading to work, he was struck and killed.

Hard to imagine that this pony-tailed, brown eyed soul was taken. He was generous and kind, funny as hell, and could fix stuff, including having a gift for patching up broken hearts. A consummate hugger, Rich embraced life with the same enthusiasm. I enjoyed our conversations about life, the Universe and everything. Their home was a gathering place and once a month (if memory serves), they hosted a house concert where music resonated off the rafters of the high ceilinged farm house in Sewell, NJ.

richginaandamyfoster

After he died, I had a dream in which we were sitting in a booth in a diner and I could clearly see a mini jukebox at the table. Can’t remember which song was playing, but I remember laughing a lot. His presence reassured me that he was safe and well.

When Amy married Steve, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house as the elegantly clad and coiffed Gina and the angelic Amy did the parent-child dance. I clearly sensed that Rich completed the circle with them as they gracefully moved across the floor. Amy now has two children and Ashley will soon be a mama. I’m sure that Rich is beaming at the legacy those who love him continue to carry on.

Rich, I bless the man that you were and the soul you will always be.

Is It In The DNA?

molecule-display-blue-519097-h

 

I awoke early this morning after being in bed most of the day yesterday with the “I don’t feel like getting out of my pj’s chant (not blues:)” rambling through my brain. On top of that, I was experiencing a recurrence of the shingles headache that began with the onset back in November. It tends to kick in when I go into hyper-drive mode.

I had an entire day planned out which included a ‘playout’ at the gym, going into my office to catch up with paperwork, drop things off at my son’s apartment and then grocery shopping. Guess how many of those items got checked off the list? Nada. Instead, I wrote, edited, planned workshops, listened to  a webinar about marketing my work, did some promo, read a book I was reviewing and still I felt less than accomplished.

What’s up with that?

While chatting with a friend, I had these mental meanderings:

It has been a long term dynamic in my life, ancestral it seems. My grandparents were Russian immigrants who came here to find the proverbial streets paved with gold. My father worked ‘crazy hours’ as my mother would describe them, to support us. I was the first to go to college and grad school. It’s almost like I am the standard bearer for my family, not wanting to let them down. For most of my adult life, I have worked overlapping jobs simultaneously.

After Michael died,  (more than 15 years ago, leaving me to raise our 11 year old son solo), I have been able to keep us afloat. I worked for 11 years at a stressful job in a psychiatric hospital and in the end, needed to leave to save my own sanity! I really thought that I would do so much better financially since I would be running the show and taking on more well paying work. Sometimes I make more per hour than I did there, but it hasn’t been consistent. Frustration ensues when I look at the body of work I have created and think “What’s it gonna take for it to be recognized beyond the lovely (and appreciated:) feedback I receive?”  I see myself sharing the messages far and wide and being well compensated for it. How can I have these gifts otherwise if it isn’t how I am meant to support myself?, is the existential question.

And I imagine I’m not alone in this query. How many reading this have wondered that about themselves and their vision for their right livelihood work?  Do you question what it will take to bump you up to the next level of satisfaction and remuneration? Some of it, I have found, involves seed planting and then surrender. The first is easy for me…I am a regular Johnny Appleseed when it comes to scattering the beginnings of mighty trees. The challenge is in the stepping back and allowing them to blossom. Ready for the harvest~

Photo credit- net_efekt/everystock

 

 

Something Worth Writing

 

 

I saw this meme while perusing Facebook this morning and was puzzled by the question that accompanied it:  “Which would you rather do?” The obvious answer was “Both.”   In my mind, the second informs the first. Most of what I have written about over the past 25 years has come from my direct experience or witnessing those of others. Like most wordsmiths, I am a keen observer of what is going on around me; an anthropologist of sorts. Add to it, the career path I had chosen as a therapist, and you have a winning combination.

One of the occupational hazards of such a calling, is that quite often, I find myself in the midst of enjoying a moment, or bemoaning one and then thinking “How can I translate this so that readers can get value from it?” and further “How can I use it as  teaching tool for clients and students?” I am finding that I may have ADD, since I am so easily distracted and pulled away from the present, and so, I beckon myself back to the here and now.

In the past few months, my articles for this and other venues who welcome my musings and mental meanderings, have been fed by the death of a friend by suicide, the wedding of two beautiful women who I was honored to marry, my bout with shingles, the challenges of my nearly 12 year marriage and the growth that has taken place since being widowed 15 years ago, raising a boy child to manhood as a single mom, becoming a ‘hugmobster’; organizing a Valentines’ Day weekend FREE hugs flash mob, addiction/recovery, surrender, attracting abundance and living the life of my dreams and desires.

As I enter into this day, I welcome the writing prompts that will nourish the next round~

 

 

Photo credit: Writer’s Relief

Previous Posts

Changing the Dishes
  Fellow Good Men Project author Thomas Fiffer shared his insights about the holiday of Passover. I saw his blog entry this morning as I was contemplating what to write for today's Bliss Blog. Having been raised in a Jewish home, Passover was eagerly anticipated all year long. The pre-holi

posted 9:22:24am Apr. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Self Imposed Slavery
Tonight marks the first night of Passover which commemorates the journey from slavery to freedom of the Jews in Egypt who were compelled to work at the peril of their own lives.  Jews around the world (and others who are invited guests as they were in my childhood home) will gather to celebrate a

posted 10:40:54am Apr. 14, 2014 | read full post »

That's What Makes You Strong
  Another soul passed into the Light yesterday to join the celestial choir. I first heard Jesse Winchester's music in the 80's. As a consummate singer songwriter, he had  a gift for vivid imagery that took the listener along for the ride. Songs such as Mississippi, You're On My Mind,

posted 10:43:14am Apr. 12, 2014 | read full post »

Hot Air Balloon
Recently I was speaking with someone about the things that weigh us down, like a hot air balloon tethered to the ground with heavy rope, spiked into the dirt, sandbags reinforcing them.  Self deprecation, limiting beliefs, old worn out ideas that no longer serve, all of the shoulda /woulda/ coulda

posted 9:06:23am Apr. 11, 2014 | read full post »

Open Tabs
  Chances are you have seen the commercial from back in the 80's  called This is your brain on drugs. In case you weren't yet born, check it out and in case you were old enough to remember it, here it is for your re-viewing pleasure.  Although I am drug and alcohol free (by choice and not

posted 10:36:43pm Apr. 09, 2014 | read full post »


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.