The Bliss Blog


Lately, I’ve been contemplating those three topics and the ways in which they intertwine. For many, desire has a taboo flavor to it; a sensual feel and along with it a rush of breath and palpitation of the heart. When I think about desire what comes to mind is something for which I have a passion. It could be an encounter with another person (sexual or otherwise). It might look like a pull to visit another country. It could present itself like a calling toward a particular profession.

Intention includes the steps toward seeing it through. When I set an intention, it is about envisioning and inviting in a wanted outcome. Perhaps that takes the shape of getting up, suiting up and doing to the gym. Each morning, I verbalize the same one: to have extraordinary experiences and connect with amazing people. By the time my head hits the pillow at night, I have done just that. I sometimes list my intentions and then extend them to goals, followed by action steps.

Expectation….now that’s a tricky one. The word calls to mind, control and belief that things need to turn out a certain way in order for me to be happy. How many times throughout my life have I gotten what I asked for? Admittedly many. Partly because I worked hard for them and partly because I have been surrounded with people who want me to be happy. The times when expectations weren’t met, I have had to contend with disappointment, followed by a reconfiguring of my beliefs. Kind of like a GPS telling you, “recalculating” when you make an unexpected turn. I always get back on track in the process.

How about combining all three into what I think of as a desire- fire?  In order for me to have a successful outcome, it feels essential to be positively incendiary about it. I ask myself what it is that lights me up from the inside and turns me into a human sparkler. Usually, it has something to do with creativity or being with people or animals. The challenge is letting go of expectation for a particular outcome. What I have discovered is that if things don’t turn out the way I, in my infinite wisdom, think they should, there is usually a reason for it. When I look back at the unfolding of events, I can see a pattern that inexorably led me to this moment. A pretty sweet one most of the time.

Others in my life have their own take to share:

“Hmmm… desire is a want, no? Intention is your mindset, as in you are set on a desire? Expectation is a tricky one for me. Expectation with others can get you into trouble, and perhaps with intentions, too. I see expectation as one knowing…knowing better than another? Knowing better as to how something should come about? Expectation is something that I strive to release, yet I believe that things will come to me. I fully admit to bouts of circular logic, it is my way.”

In the human world, desire is primal, a force to be reckoned with; expectation is ego-driven and thus closed to listening and receiving from the divine cosmos; and intention requires consciousness, that which is fundamental and universal.”

“I believe the answer is in the question: DESIRE is the generalized emotion which leads to setting the INTENTION. Once intention is set, EXPECTATION leads to some form of manifestation–depending on the focus of intention and expectation. There may be an unconscious thought which pollutes the intention or expectation. I.E., we can set an intention with the affirmation, “I am abundantly blessed with 6 figures in my bank account”. But if we undermine that affirmation with thoughts of lack, we will get more lack–because the spoken intention isn’t aligned with what we actually believe. Expectation in the spiritual sense is knowing there is a Supreme Good, and that good is my Truth. Now living that is an entirely different matter!”

“Desire is just something that you want to have or do, intention is when you have a plan to do it or make it happen, and expectation is an unconscious believing that something or somebody will be a certain way.”

“Desire is an emotion…a mild to obsessive craving or drive to have or do something. It gives us motivation to move and do and become. Intention is the thought and/or plan that arises in us when we become conscious of our desire and make a decision to do something about it. It could manifest as prayer, a spoken vow, a contract, or simply the actions that lead to the desired end result. Expectation is where we foul ourselves up. It’s natural to have desires. It’s productive to have intentions. But when we forget that the Universe does not bend at our whims, we start to feel that our prayers, vows, contracts, actions, hard work, whatever..entitle us to the outcomes that we have our hearts set on. When we buy into beliefs like “hard work always pays off” or “God loves one group of people better than others, and I’m in that group because I pray..” or even “life is supposed to be fair” we set ourselves up for disappointment. Expectation is the root of suffering, if you ask the Buddhists. Nothing in life is certain, no matter how much we may want it to be. Attaching to feelings of entitlement over situations or people will bite you in the ass every time.”

“Desire: is how we “want” it. Intention: is how we’re working towards it. Expectation: is how we’re thinking it’s all going to turn out. Manifestation: is how we’re driving all 3 forces into reality. Gratitude is the grease that allows the Universe to help us and that really must be the first cog in the wheel.”

“Desire is a feeling process. Intention is a declarative mental process. Expectation is a belief process.”

“Desire = “Want” Intention = “Want to” Expectation = Suffering”

“None of them are real. But the only one I can relate to is intention. When I put out an intention it is a driving force underlying everything I do, say, and feel. I make things come up in my life through my intentions. Expectation is a cancer. It will rot your every move. Desire feels like lust to me. Maybe jealousy rooted in something you see that someone else has that you don’t. You really don’t need your desires. You lust after them. I desire a Harley.”

“Desire is what we want, but it gets a bad rap. There are legitimate desires. I desire to live. I desire love and connection. (Some may desire to be left alone) . My Guru once said, “How can I fulfill your desires if you don’t give them to me?” Interesting. Intention is the focus and power to create.The greater the force of intention, the more one molds the Universe. (“For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move” He was speaking about intention. Abraham titled a book “The Power of Deliberate Intention”.) . It is one of the greatest gifts we have. Expectation in the best sense is the belief that one’s intention will manifest. Therefore they are linked. Expectation in a negative sense is projecting outcome based on ego needs.” I have an expectation that someone will respond in a manner I want.” “I expect to get this job”. In a Buddhist sense, this creates suffering.”



Many of us were taught that we required an intermediary to have a spiritual encounter. Clergy, saints or an intercessory such as Mother Mary or angels would ferry a message for us. Perhaps it arose because somewhere down the line, a person denied their worthiness to commune one on one with the Creator.

There is a rabbinical story that illustrates the nature of prayer when shared from a pure heart.

“One day, this a shepherd boy was passing by a synagogue and heard people inside praying. He came inside to join them. The only problem was they were all praying from prayer books. The shepherd boy was essentially illiterate, though he did know how to say the letters of the Hebrew alphabet. Not knowing what else to do, he stood in the back of the synagogue and yelled out “Aleph! Bet! Gimmel!” until he finished the entire alphabet.

Two of the worshippers were so offended that they went over to the shepherd boy and were about to escort him outside when the rabbi told them: “Stop! That boy’s shouting was more precious than any other prayers said here today! His prayer went straight up to Heaven!”

Some of my most potent ‘Godversations’ are as a result of the certainty that my thoughts and words will be heard. I learned long ago that prayer is portable and need not be confined to an edifice such as a temple, mosque, church, synagogue or monastery. It is my way of taking what is in internal and making it external. It isn’t about seeking intervention from an outside entity that (vending machine style) grants my wishes. Instead, it is a means of aligning with the divine, so that it and I are in synch. Sometimes events unfold at lightning speed and at others, with deliberate slowness. I have learned to ride the waves of the first and trust in the timing of the second.

When I posed the question to friends of various faiths, these are the responses that ensued.

“I struggle with what I believe G-d to be so my direct conversations or prayer tend to go out to the universe in general.”

“Yes, I truly believe that I have a direct line to the Divine Lord. As I have been so blessed to have seen Him.”

“As with conversations with humans: 2 ears, one mouth. Listen in that proportion.”

“According to their own data base and are at best 60 percent accurate. Doing so is simply human nature, as everyone’s belief systems and experiences are unique and form the foundation for extrapolating and communicating information. I encourage people to trust their gut feelings and communications rather than that of an intermediary. I prefer to teach people or provide them the tools they need to empower themselves. Accountability and responsibility for one’s own journey is monumental in their process of growth and spirituality.”

“yes! go to the source.”

“All Jews have an interpersonal connection to G-d. He listens, but I guide myself after I explain perplexing situations and listen to myself on the matter.”

“Yes! In fact, my newest book is the second in a series of “Godversations.” Unlocked And Unleashed: The God Within You is the first book helping us with Direct Connection to the Divine, and my book launch for the second book is here: In Love with the Beloved Within ~ Online Book Launch Party.”

“I do !”

“I definitely have a direct divine connection.”

“My belief is that the Divine is within no matter what path.”

“My experience is that it’s not so much a conversation as listening.”

“That is the premise of my book Winds of Spirit. 65000 words to the topic.”

“I was taught I was talking to myself.”

“Yes, I have a direct line to the divine as everyone does. We are all part of the divine. I was taught (being raised Catholic) that I could speak to God through prayer or pray to intermediaries – angels, saints, Mary. When I pray, I use prayers from all religions. When I meditate, I have direct contact with the Divine.”

“What else can it be?”

What are your thoughts?



I have been following the wise words of someone I refer to as a ‘fellow clergy-dude’. His name is John Pavlovitz, a pastor in North Carolina. His blog called Stuff That Needs To Be Said is bold and brazen; just the kind of talk that I imagine Jesus would have given two thumbs up to. At the risk of offending his fellow faith folks, he takes on hypocrisy and hatred with a daring that, if they paid attention, might have them reconsidering their political positions.  If the opportunity arose to sit face to face, I would consider it an honor. He holds accountable his brethren who voted in the current administration for supporting someone whose values are the polar opposite of the One they claim to follow. I applaud him wholeheartedly.

Pavlovitz used the term ‘holy discontent’ in a recent blog post– and I echo it vehemently. Being spiritual doesn’t mean accepting the ‘it is what it is’ mentality and relinquishing personal accountability for standing up to hatred and harm hurled at others. It is my belief that we were born with free will and the right and responsibility to use it wisely. It seems to me that we are called on to act in concert and partnership with the Divine as we practice Tikkun Olam (Repair of the World in Hebrew)

Since the unfolding drama and trauma post-election, each day brings with it questions for me to answer: can I any longer live lightly and loosely and act as if only in- the- moment happiness matters, or do I need to have as my more solid purpose to take positive action as part of a ‘resistance’ and a corollary to the Serenity Prayer and change what I can’t accept? It is not a move on, get over it, business as usual kinda thing. If this current state of affairs has had an upside, it is that formerly complacent people (and I include myself in that group, sadly) have become better educated about what is going on, and have been more courageous in stepping forward and speaking up.

I don’t want to get mired in depression and anxiety as I had initially. In my work as a therapist, I have seen clients who were experiencing those states and I did my best to shepherd them through it. As I was encouraging them, so too was I cheerleading myself. As I held space for their fears, so too did I offer inner compassion.

I feel empowered by taking inspired action. I engage in sacred activism.

I do it through writing, speaking and hugging. How do you express holy discontent?


Recently I sat with a client in my practice who shared that she grew up in a fundamentalist church in which she was told that suffering was the way to experience God. Her life experience included physical and sexual abuse. Her child-mind internalized that God and pain were intertwined and now in her 50’s, she is re-creating that relationship with a new perspective.

Over the years, I have encountered others who suffered at the hands and words of rigid religious dogma and doctrine that was used as a control, rather than connection with a loving and compassionate deity.  What some might consider standard operating procedure in their way of worship could easily be seen as terrorizing and abusive. Words that shame, cause fear, have anyone believing that they will fall out of God’s loving embrace would fall into that category. At the extreme end of the spectrum are acts of sexual abuse and other ritual enactments.

I grew up in Conservative (not political) Judaism which is the middle ground between Orthodox and Reform. Nowhere in the teachings, I heard in our synagogue or home was there a hellfire and brimstone aspect. The closest thing was the liturgy of Yom Kippur in which we prayed to be inscribed in the Book of Life for a sweet new year. It had me wondering about all the people who died in any given year. Had they done something wrong? I later came to accept that life happens. People get sick, experience loss and some die. People who do good, die. People who do ill, live. Where’s the justice in that? Some things simply are. As I was growing up, I heard about those who bought into the idea that unless adherents believed as they did, they were sinners who were eternally damned. Imagine being told that as a child…the nightmares that might ensue.

While writing about this concept on Facebook, friends offered their perspectives:

“This is why I strayed from Catholicism. I didn’t believe that a “loving” God would let such a thing happen…… Worshipping nature is much better for me.”

“I think that what you are talking about is plain old ordinary abuse. Real connection with any mainstream religion is lacking in such cases.”

“I wouldn’t call it spiritual abuse I’d call it religious abuse we create our own heaven and we create our own Hill and children generally have help from their parents… when I was little my mother told me that if I got caught in the rain I would catch my death of pneumonia… as a young woman I did almost catch my death of pneumonia…. until one of my messages from God so to speak saw her speaking those words to me… and luckily for me I got it I now go in the rain all the time… I haven’t had pneumonia in 30-40 years.”

” My thoughts are that teaching damnation … is spiritual abuse.”

“My definition of religion has always been Love, or so it should be. I found that the definition of that word is almost impossible. I tend to think of it as of the spirit, the human spirit. By believing in a power of sorts is greater than we are is comforting and anything that takes one’s breath away is spiritual. I have watched over the years, people thrust their idea of God down the throats of those who waver. Who are we to tell people what to believe. Certainly, we can give suggestions but hammering what we believe, home, is not one of them. Being a history buff, I see that the majority of wars occurred through religion. Regarding the life of Jesus, we can see he was the direct opposite of what is happening in the world now and would be horrified were he to return now to see what has been done in his name. The Inquisition, for example, WW2, the Crusades. I could go on and on with that one. I do not have a specific religion. Like you Edie, I was ordained at the New Seminary in New York City where our motto is IN ADDITION TO RATHER THAN INSTEAD OF. Some of the most generous, loving, caring, courageous individuals I have had the honour of knowing over the years, have no religion but they personify how it could be if others would recognise their contributions to those in need. The three of my quartet who have left this planet were such people. A truly loving example of freedom of thought was a mentor who was a Dominican nun. Sister Mary Daniel. She showed courage during the frightening years in Cuba where she was sent to help bring people to the States. (just a sudden thought of how she would feel with the immigrant situation today). She was a devout Catholic and when I was struggling in life, took me to her heart and helped me. I remember being in the chapel with her and saying that I didn’t know what to believe, that I was torn between faith, Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism. I was very distraught. So she said ‘Jesus’s mother was a Jew so you have two of them right there’. She never judged, never tried to change my mind but gave such supportive love that she herself renewed my faith. So I am Interfaith which means to me, freedom of thought and expression. I love that story of going to the beach and putting sand in both hands with one hand holding it as tightly as possible and the sand flows through the fingers. the other hand remains open and the sand lies still.”

“…but true love and friendship
will draw you together
far better than roarin’ the horrors of Hell!”
—The Parish of Dunkeld

“Threatening a child with eternal torment if they do not conform is spiritual abuse. It is the textbook definition of spiritual abuse.”
“Great topic! I find this well asked. If I thought due to prophecies that my family needed to prepare and build a bunker to keep everyone safe, while that might be an expression of fear it is still loving is it not? Similarly, if a person believes in hell, is it not very loving to do whatever you can to protect from it however you need? Love is expressed by the giver in their way, isn’t it? If not most teenagers would cry a lack of love from every house rule.”