The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog

A Pampered Woman

Yesterday, I saw a meme on Facebook that showed a woman sitting up in bed, yelling out to no one in particular “Somebody pamper me!” and then in the next block, she realizes “Oh yeah. I forgot. I’m a strong, independent woman. Shit.” Can I ever relate?

As much as I love being nurtured, like many women, I don’t allow for enough time being pampered. Somehow I have absorbed the cultural belief that it is indulgent to engage in it. Not productive. A waste of time. How silly is that? Even machines require maintenance for optimal functioning. I can tell when my good self care meter is running a quart (or more) low. I feel irritable and cranky. I feel like snapping at someone, even if I don’t actually let the words fly. I experience fatigue and need to push myself to complete tasks.


Yesterday was one of those days. I had stuff to do, such as write articles, run errands, see a client, wash clothes, plan for a workshop I am facilitating tomorrow, and host my weekly radio show called It’s All About Relationships.

In the past month or so, I have experienced the deaths of a few friends; one this week whose service is tomorrow. I anticipate a bitter sweet time, since he and I were co-workers at a counseling center I left a year ago to take my new job as a writer.  I haven’t seen many of my colleagues since then. I know that tears and hugs will be in abundance.

In preparation for all of that, I spent the morning getting a pedicure under the capable, experienced and relaxing hands of Amy as we spoke about our children, careers, world view, life and death. Things that matter.


After that, I got my hair cut, which I enjoy too. I imagine that as my salt and pepper locks (tinged with purple; the remnants of which have stuck around for the past week or so), fall to the floor, to be swept away, so too does my excess baggage. Juanita knows just how to create a look that I love as I lighten up.

I also receive a relaxing monthly massaaaahhhge from my friend Ruthanne Wood who knows just how to get the right spots sighing. A bonus treat this month was a visit from another healing friend Cindy Greb who had trekked Eastward from Colorado. I couldn’t miss the opportunity to immerse myself in deep peace while on her table. For the past four weeks, I have already and for another six weeks, will be experiencing Facial Reflex Therapy sessions with another friend Deva Troy. Insight comes along with the youthing effect of the modality. I have been writing about the time on the table and beyond, here on the Bliss Blog.


When once upon a time, I viewed these as optional, I now see them as a necessary part of my health care; as much as going to the gym, listening to music, eating healthfully, taking my cardiac meds, being in nature, hanging out with kindred spirits, reading and writing. When I do these things, I feel a sense of renewal in body, mind and spirit.

Now the trick is to allow for it on a daily basis, accepting offers when people extend them, taking time to BE. For too long, I was ‘doing my strong woman number.’



Facing Life: A Ten Week Journey-Week Four

As I entered into the fourth week of my sessions of Facial Reflex Therapy created by Lone Sorensen  offered by Deva/ Debra Troy, I noticed a shift. Although I had been through menopause and thought I had gracefully emerged on the other side, I have been experiencing hot flashes that I refer to as ‘power surges,’ to put on a more positive spin on it. I have to admit that I can be rather flashy at times. (:  Deva explained that part of the reason that they have been making their presence known is that she had been working on regions of my face that relate to hormones. Oh joy!! The good news is that whatever arises is there for my wellbeing.


I also became aware this time of truly surrendering into the experience without feeling a need to talk a great deal as I had before. I can be quite the ‘Chatty Cathy’ (remember the doll from the 1960’s?) when I want to. I made a conscious decision to just let go; a big challenge for me at times. Although I don’t have recollection of out of body experiences, it felt as if I had indeed ‘left the building,’ temporarily. I had a distinct sense of jumping back in, with a jolt. Deva confirmed that I was in deep sleep mode, since I was snoring.

Lately, life has taken me on a roller coaster ride. It includes health issues in my family, the recent deaths of three friends, career shifts (in a positive direction), as well as my own healing journey. There are times when control and surrender battle themselves out for supremacy in my day to day existence. This modality gives me permission literally face those dynamics with far less struggle, since the work is going on behind the scenes even after I leave the office. The impact is residual.


When the session was complete, I was aware that I felt rested and refreshed. A bonus, since I have still found it difficult to sustain sleep throughout the night.

In honor of another ‘flashy lady,’- the therapist herself- I invite you to listen to her song called Raging Hormones.



Are There Too Many Items On Your To-do List?

I saw a poster several years ago that had a list of movers and shakers who have helped to transform the world. The caption read something to the effect that they had the same 24 hours that all of us have to accomplish what they did. It gave me pause … and these days, I really do need it, as I considered how I was investing my hours back then. At the time, I was interviewing for a hospital social work job which I did get. When I eventually moved on, I added more tasks and diversified my work.

I was speaking with my cousin Jody yesterday and we were musing about the vast array of experiences we had that were evidenced by our lengthy resumes.  Mine is two pages and growing. I look at my daily check list/ resume that I have told myself are also a measure of my accomplishments.


While that is admirable, it is also daunting. Each day I awaken with a running list of what I tell myself I need to get done. Sometimes the companion emotion is anxiety. Not the debilitating-I-can’t-get-out-of-bed-overwhelm, but rather, the okay, woman, pull on your big girl panties and get it all done. And, make it look easy and elegant, by the way. You wouldn’t want anyone to think you are unreliable or inconsistent.

In my full to overflowing mind, there are piles of ideas, waiting rather impatiently to be expressed. Although I have never been formally diagnosed, I notice signs of what I call ‘functional mania,’ with tinges of ADHD. I can be writing one article, as I am doing now and another image will spring up that clamors to be included in another. Usually I am able to re-direct myself to the original thought. Sometimes not; given that the mental hard drive gets full and I need to create more space.


My schedule today: Social Media Magic group that I co-host every other week, writing a few articles, transcribing an interview, gym, and normal people stuff like laundry and cleaning. This is a pretty light day for me.

My friends still tell me that even after swearing I would slow down post heart attack a year ago, they see the swirling, whirling, busy buzzy woman who did too much and paid the price. I justify my current activity level, since the stress levels have dropped dramatically and most of it is so much fun, that it is nourishing. And yet …. I have maintained the ‘what if I don’t get it all accomplished?’ fear. That needs to be addressed and surrendered. Most of what is on my to-do list, is optional and not required. If I mindfully take each one as it shows up, prioritizing and then checking it off the list, then they get done, far more successfully than if I multi-task madly. One area that I have become adept at simultaneous activity is at the gym. I take books with me to read while on the elliptical and bicycle. Information seems to get absorbed as the sweat pours from my pores. I also notice staying on the machines longer, as a result ….bonus!

My to-do list today includes hugs, smiles, laughter, good nourishing food, listening to music, singing along and some other type of nurturing activity. What’s on your list?


Uncle Jimmy Parking Spots


Everyone I know has some manner of parking angel who assists them in locating a spot in a lot or the street. In my family, my mother’s brother Jim played that role. We would refer to them as “Uncle Jimmy Parking Spots,” in his honor. I have found them in the most challenging of locations. Center City, Philadelphia, South Street (made famous as the ‘hippest street in town” with the musical query “Where do all the hippies meet?  South Street, South Street) and in Manhattan, during rush hour, at 5:00, right in front of the building where I was to teach a class, for FREE. How do you like them apples?  They aren’t always as convenient, but always just right. A few years ago, I was working at an event featuring Michael Beckwith and Rickie Byars Beckwith who sing, preach and teach about The Law of Attraction. I had parked six or so blocks from the church where it was held and when I got out of the car, I found a penny next to it. I let it hang out and intended to pick it up on the way back. Following  loooonnngg day during which the presentation had a lot to do with manna-festing our dreams and desires. Around 11pm, I returned to the car and saw that it had invited a very good friend …. a $20 bill. I glanced around, looking for Candid Camera. Nope. Wondered if I was being set up to be mugged. Thank goodness, I wasn’t. I picked up the windfall and thanked the generous Spirit and Uncle Jimmy. He died more then ten years ago and I visited him in the hospital. I told him that he was a legend among my friends and that I often loaned them my parking mojo. He reminded me “I will always find you the perfect parking spot.” He has never let me down.


My friend Lisa who often invokes the parking powers of Uncle Jimmy, wanted to know what he looked like. I told her I would search through family photos and find one for her. Today, as I was doing much needed sorting, cleaning and organizing, I came upon this picture of Uncle Jim and Aunt Sue who had been sweethearts for many years. She died a few years before he did and he missed her terribly until he joined her.

I am grateful that he remains a consistent traveling companion.


Previous Posts

Facing Life-A Ten Week Journey- Week Seven
I entered into the seventh week of treatment with Debra/Deva Troy  in the modality called Facial Reflex Therapy designed by Lone Sorensen . She has found that when applied, it has assisted with balancing the various biological systems and ...

posted 10:39:19pm Jul. 28, 2015 | read full post »

To Those We Treasure
Awake, truly awake and well rested after a weekend that was filled with laughter and joy, music, friends, dancing, singing, healthy eating and a power nap at the end of a long, sun streaming down day. On Friday night, so began one of my ...

posted 5:16:22pm Jul. 27, 2015 | read full post »

Facing Life-A Ten Week Journey- Week Six
Lately I've been letting emotions flow, and along with them, have come insights that had lay dormant for years.  This session was overseen by Debra/Deva Troy 's teacher Lynn Diehl  for the sixth of ten Facial Reflex Therapy visits. This ...

posted 8:57:21pm Jul. 22, 2015 | read full post »

Planting Seeds
There comes a time in our lives when we are called to face certain truths -- that life unfolds at its own pace and not only as we would wish it to. For 56 years, I have danced the line between believing that hard work and diligence would bring ...

posted 10:42:57am Jul. 21, 2015 | read full post »

The World Ain't Slowin' Down
My  busy-buzzy brain woke me up to write this a few hours ago and I made a deal with The Muse that I could sleep a bit more, if I formulated the text in dreamland. She nodded and agreed. Lately, my mind has been racing with all of the things I ...

posted 7:42:29am Jul. 18, 2015 | read full post »


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