The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog

Don’t Give Up

As I am in the middle of the fifth decade of my life, the world has become a patchwork quilt of experiences. In the last 55 years, I have splashed in puddles of joy and gasped for air while feeling like I was drowning in sorrow. I have been clutched by fear and basked in light. Through it all, I have been buoyed in an ocean of love. I have often denied pain in the service of keeping on keeping on. It was a temporary fix that led me to confusion. It takes courage to face loss. In the past few months, several people I know have died. As we age, that happens. I just wonder on some level, if they had completed their ‘assignments’ and were ready to move on. I question why some (like me) survive life challenging conditions and continue to live. Is it because I still have more work to do?

I have never experienced depression; although I have had a few dark nights of the soul. A month or so ago, as I was reading journals from as far back as the late 1970′s, I was shocked to recall that there was a time back in the 90′s when in the midst of major shifts (ectopic pregnancy, Michael’s diagnosis of Hep C and the loss of our home to Hurricane Andrew, business challenges,  as well as marital discord), I had mused about ‘what if I wasn’t here anymore?’ I had no plan or intent; just a fleeting thought which I promptly dismissed. I can say with certainty that I am glad I stuck around, since my life has been a veritable buffet of delights. People, experiences, accomplishments, creative endeavors have enriched this existence, so that when my time comes, I will feel as if I haven’t missed much.

There are some who don’t feel that way and wonder if things will ever ease up. They seem to be caught in the swamp of despair. They may forget that they survived initial trauma and travail and can make it through the aftermath. What helps me to move past my own sometimes clinging doubt is the certainty that God/Goddess/All That Is has got my back. Listening to this song helps too. I love this cover of the Peter Gabriel piece.

Don’t Give Up-Pink and John Legend

Heaven On Earth

 

 

“Imagine, will you….Heaven On Earth For Real.”

These are the words that are on my friend Tambra Harck’s Facebook page. I think about it a lot since I believe that we create our own vision/version in our vivid imaginations. One of my favorite songs on the topic, sung by Mary Chapin Carpenter called In My Heaven offers a view that I would love to experience when my time comes. I have long been fascinated with what happens when we pass over from this realm to the next, wherever, whatever that is. The God of my understanding welcomes all, regardless of spiritual orientation or practice. There is no need to earn our place there, just as there was no need to earn our birth. Love is the law of the ‘land’ in my heaven. No violence, no harm to anyone or anything, nor justification for these acts. Free of hatred. No limits on love regardless of gender or sexual preference. Respect for the planet from which we came. Kindness prevails. We recognize that we are each a Divine creation, worthy of love simply by virtue of our Being-ness. Healing from toxicity of destructive beliefs. Living out our deepest heart’s longings and desires. Seeing through the lenses of learning, without judging the choices we made to get from where we were to where we are. A feeling of belonging to a tribe of kindred spirits. Knowing that love is never wasted. Forgiveness for choices made and actions taken unconsciously. Surrender to what is, rather than resisting it. Compassion for self and others. Trusting that all is well. I know that I need not wait to ‘leave the building’ in order to embrace this vision. I claim it as my here are now reality.

What is your idea of Heaven on Earth?

 

With An Open Hand

openhand

 

When you consider all of the things that you desire; from relationships to abundance, from faith to freedom, from possessions to passion, how do you hold them?  What I mean by that is this:  do you hold them with a closed fist; grasping, clinging as if for dear life or can you let go a bit and allow them to enter your life? Consider this metaphor:  If you were to scoop up water or sand in your hand and attempt to keep them by closing your fingers around the substances, what would happen?  Of course, they would slip right on through. You would be left with a few grains of sand and a few droplets of water.

There is a legend about monkeys being captured when a container of peanuts was placed before them. They would plunge their hands in and close around the treats. Because they couldn’t remove the nuts or their closed hand, they were trapped. It hadn’t occurred to them that all they needed to do was let go and they would be free. We humans are equally blind at times to the option to let go, rather than grasping.

I think about maintaining my steadfast beliefs about ‘the right way’ to do things and the ‘best’ behavior that people ‘should’ exhibit to be acceptable. Of course, in my infinite wisdom, I believe that in order for all to be right with the world, it oughta be that way. I would venture a guess that you feel the same about your values.

A few years ago, I heard Lisa Nichols speak about the concept of “Attract, don’t pursue.”  What she was wanting us to really get was that when we surrender to The Universe, what we want and welcome has a direct route to us. Paradoxically, the more we effort and strain, the more we block our good from coming. I have seen evidence of that on so many occasions, that I have to believe it is so.

There are still many items on my ‘bucket list’ and yet, at least for this moment, I am not attached to experiencing them. I am willing to let go of some of the peanuts, so that I can enjoy the yummy crunchiness of a few, rather than risk losing them all, and my freedom by holding them in a closed fist. I am willing to hold life and love with an open hand.

 

The Art of Surrender

ediepediOn Saturday, I began my day in retrospective musing. Listening to Ellis Paul singing Dragonfly  on Sleepy Hollow  to greet the sun. Was reading earlier entries down my time line on Facebook and marveled at how far I have come since everything changed with the ‘cardiac event’ on June 12th. It was one of those ‘thank God I…’ experiences. If not for that happening I would likely (who am I kidding? DEFINITELY) still be running a gazillion miles an hour, to what end? To prove what? I am recognizing that workaholism can be as insidious an addiction as any other since it attempts to convince me that my worth is based on my productivity and results, rather than just my BEINGNESS. The insanity of it has me shaking my head in bemusement.
On Friday at cardiac rehab, even though I was drenched in sweat, pushing as hard as I could, I still felt disappointed that I hadn’t reached the goals I had set for myself. My lovely rehab coach, Suzanne reassured me that I was more than meeting goals overall since I began; in workout time both there and at home, in intensity and METS (not the baseball team:)-Metabolic equivalents which measures efficiency of workouts. In the process of healing, I am giving myself permission to nap, sleep later if need be, step back from activity if the message is to do so. I am re-evaluating my schedule, adapting as I am called to do. My new job provides the latitude to write at varying hours; not restricted to certain times, so I can respond to the call of the Muse. I have less fear of ‘letting people down’ by saying no or asking to renegotiate agreements. The frantic spinning of the plates that I  believed would cause the world to come crashing out of orbit if I put them down, has ceased. I evaluate my choices one by one, rather than in clumps.  I break down tasks into manageable bits instead of multi-tasking more of the time. I feel a sense of accomplishment with small things like laundry and dishes or organizing my meds into a nice, neat little rows in the pill tender. Some days that almost feels like enough. I am savoring life in ways that I wasn’t capable of doing before. Breathing in life, bathing in bliss,  not just talking the talk, but truly walking the walk, except when I am kicking back and putting my feet up.
I am trusting more readily that all works by Divine Design. My needs are always met. Even in the midst of challenges, I am learning the art of surrender. Ahh~

 

Previous Posts

Don't Give Up
As I am in the middle of the fifth decade of my life, the world has become a patchwork quilt of experiences. In the last 55 years, I have splashed in puddles of joy and gasped for air while feeling like I was drowning in sorrow. I have been clutched by fear and basked in light. Through it all, I hav

posted 8:53:03am Aug. 28, 2014 | read full post »

Heaven On Earth
    "Imagine, will you....Heaven On Earth For Real." These are the words that are on my friend Tambra Harck's Facebook page. I think about it a lot since I believe that we create our own vision/version in our vivid imaginations. One of my favorite songs on the topic, sung by Ma

posted 9:47:47pm Aug. 26, 2014 | read full post »

With An Open Hand
  When you consider all of the things that you desire; from relationships to abundance, from faith to freedom, from possessions to passion, how do you hold them?  What I mean by that is this:  do you hold them with a closed fist; grasping, clinging as if for dear life or can you let go a b

posted 9:07:21pm Aug. 25, 2014 | read full post »

The Art of Surrender
On Saturday, I began my day in retrospective musing. Listening to Ellis Paul singing Dragonfly  on Sleepy Hollow  to greet the sun. Was reading earlier entries down my time line on Facebook and marveled at how far I have come since everything changed with the 'cardiac event' on June 12th. It was o

posted 10:31:49am Aug. 24, 2014 | read full post »

Disney Daring
  I am no longer a Disneyland virgin. Yesterday was my very first day in "The Happiest Place on Earth".  Earned my ears (although I didn't buy any(: Went on Soarin' Over California, Monsters, Inc, and then to earn street cred, had to up the amps and do California Scream, then Cars, then Thu

posted 11:02:37am Aug. 21, 2014 | read full post »


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