How often do you ask yourself ‘what if and if only’ questions? “What if I had chosen a different path, partner, career, home? Bet I’d be happier if I had,” is the frequent litany for many. We get fidgety staying still. We kvetch about how things aren’t the way we want them to be, and the people in our lives aren’t doing things our way. What’s wrong with this picture? The truth is…nada. All is as it needs to be, since it is the way it is. If it is to be different, then perhaps we need to consider the thoughts, beliefs and actions that have us remaining in a place than where we would otherwise choose to be. It can be challenging to refrain from wanting a geographical cure.
“I’ll be happy if… I’ll be happy when…” keeps us from being happy where our feet are planted. Is it ok to want more? Sure.
According to best -selling author Robert Holden, who penned Happiness NOW!, Shift Happens!, Authentic Success, Be Happy, Loveability & Holy Shift!, that is what is referred to as Destination Addiction. He explains that it is “a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, and with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is someplace else, it will never be where you are.”
So what is it that contributes to this state of discontent? My take is that we are searching for satisfaction from external sources, rather than where it truly begins…within. We have been convinced by culture and media that the next high will bring us contentment. The sad part is that we will always be seeking and rarely finding, if we set our compass in that direction
Can you recall the last time that you felt a true sense of serenity? Nothing you had to do, and nowhere you had to go? It could have been when witnessing a sunset, or snuggled under the covers with a good book or a loved one. In that here and now moment, there wasn’t anywhere else you would rather have been and engaged in nothing other than what you were doing. Call it being now-here as opposed to nowhere.
How to stay put and stay happy could be as simple as:
Set intentions for what you want- loving relationships, total wellness, spiritual connection, and prosperity. Then take inspired action to bring them into being, rather than complaining if they are not yet part of your daily reality. Act ‘as if’ you are already experiencing those joys. How would you carry yourself, interact with the world around you, feel, speak and think if today was the day that all of these things were present?
Surround yourself with people who support and encourage your vision, while grounding you in the here and now.
Don’t put off happiness while you are waiting for the seeds you have planted to grow. What if true delight in the gardening process is like Miracle-Gro that feeds your crop?
As Ram Dass famously shared “Be Here Now”.