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The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog

Emotional Weather

I am a Force of Nature. So are you. So is everyone else on the planet. We are affected by the moon, the tides, the barometric pressure. When the winter comes and the sun isn’t as visible, people experience Seasonal Affective Disorder (aptly named SAD) and may feel cloudy as well.

How about when the emotional environment is unpredictable?  The solar power could be on overdrive one day and storms might be raging the next. I witnessed that physical manifestation when in Jamaica last week. A cloud bank appeared over the erstwhile calm ocean and then spread like peanut butter over whole grain bread. Small droplets of rain scattered and were joined by splish-splash others that created puddles inviting stomping in. Then things got wild. Thunder and lightning flashes rocked the resort. I watched from the shelter of one of the restaurants as several risking taking people remained in the pool; some even holding on to the metal hand railing. This former lifeguard wished she had her whistle so she could insists that they clear the pool. As it was, all I could do was pray that they didn’t get struck by lightning. A drunken couple moved from the pool into the ocean, diving in, in defiance of the storm.

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As it always does, the deluge passed, the clouds parted and the sun came beaming back out. I would guess that there was even a rainbow somewhere nearby. So it is with our emotional weather. Although I do my best to keep my own temperate zone in range, there are times when storms are bubbling up beneath the surface, but the waves are pretty calm. I have learned to ride them without capsizing my boat, or those of others.

What happens when someone else’s storms come to call? How do we maintain our own balance? When someone in our life feels as if they are on a ship gone astray, how do we remind them that they could benefit by changing course, so that they don’t continue to steer toward the rocks while we watch, feeling helpless to do anything but wave our arms?

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There are times when this consummate caregiver (alright … control freak), wants to commandeer the ship and move it out of danger, since I can see where it is heading. The person keeps wresting the wheel from my well intended hands. It gets exhausting and sea sick inducing. As a result, I am learning to relinquish control.

Yesterday I was doing what I call a ‘sanity check’ with my wise friend Paul Dengler who is a Forrest Gump impersonator. He called because he sensed I had something on my mind that needed some support and perhaps course correction myself. After I shared my winds of change experience, he offered this:

“The emotional weather changes from day to day. Sometimes you shouldn’t try to go anywhere or do anything in the storm. Just wait it out. Sunny skies are up ahead.”

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This is true for me, as it is for this other person in my life. I need to trust that they will see their way clear out of the clouds into the bright light.

What I have also  learned is that I can only steer my own ship of dreams and no one else’s and that I am not doing it alone. The ‘captain’ that put my hands on the wheel is observing to see where I take it.

 

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What Sustains You?

“All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.”- Julian of Norwich

In your darkest, most frightening moments, what sustains you? What has you knowing that all is well?  For me, it is a deep spiritual faith which shows me daily that no matter what, I will overcome whatever limits I may face. Many God-talks have taken place over the years as relationship conflicts, health crises, financial challenges, deaths and other various losses have shown up. Life happening. Rarely did I feel like a victim, although I admit that I would sometimes invite myself to pity parties. I would  stay a short while when I realized I was the only guest there.

I question why things unfold as they do and it is only in retrospect that I can see the purpose of the pain. The toughest part has been when I have been immersed in it, floundering frantically. I have seen my faith as a life raft that keeps me from drowning.

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What about those who don’t believe in a Higher Power or who see life as one series of challenges after another over which they fear they won’t triumph? They might put themselves out there into the world, hoping against hope that things will look better and perhaps they do, for a short time until the next wave hits and knocks them on their tush. They are sometimes on a dizzying ride that they don’t know how to exit.

There is someone close to me who lives that way and despite my best efforts to share ideas for confronting the naysaying voices continues to argue for his limitations. He ponders why he should bother being happy, since it will be taken away. I have encouraged him and countered the paradoxical belief that holds him hostage with the idea that being chronically unhappy will only fuel the fire.

What I have done today is turned the situation over to the God of my understanding, remembering that I have no control over the outcomes in my own life or any one else’s. My prayer is that this person find comfort in the Presence and light in the midst of darkness.

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Birthing A New Book

 

 

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My first book called The Bliss Mistress Guide To Transforming The Ordinary Into The Extraordinary came into the world in 2011, not quite like Venus fully formed from sea foam, but rather resembling a human baby, that took many months to gestate. In the interceding four years, I have watched myself develop and mature, as a result of the creative process. My platform has expanded as I have been blessed to reach readers here on Beliefnet, as well as other venues. Bliss Mistress became a persona, as she ( I ) gallivanted around on a literal and virtual book tour. Her role was to assist people in becoming the mistress or master of their own bliss. Still, there was another aspect of myself waiting for her time to shine.

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She came into being when I realized that an optimistic attitude wasn’t enough. I needed to be an opti-mystic as well and expand my vision for how the world could be and ways in which I could claim my role in it. I have always seen the glass as half full, until I realized that it really was ALL full. Even if only half was filled with liquid, the other half was air. I was rarely at a loss for perceiving it that way, having been raised by opti-mystics too. My father would say “You never know what tomorrow brings,” so he encouraged me to enjoy each day. My mother had her ‘Que Sera, Sera’ attitude, as she would offer the wisdom of “What will be will be.”

While lounging on the beach in Jamaica this past week, I was visited by The Muse who told me that I was ready to write the next book. Not sure of the complete title and am playing with a few, but it will have the Opti-Mystic theme to it. It will incorporate my own ideas, as well as those of others who would claim that persona for themselves, as one who sees the world through the eyes of possibility.

Saying it out loud, putting the commitment in writing, makes it real. No longer just floating about in my cranium, it has grabbed hold and will be guiding me for the next few months.

Looking forward to reading and sharing what comes forth.

 

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Luscious Lessons Learned on a Jamaican Sojourn

As I am writing this, the hours until departure from my Jamaican vacay are ticking away. I am not woeful or wistful, wishing it could be longer. It was perfectly timed to begin and perfectly timed to end. 24 hours from now, my plane will be close to landing and this sojourn will be stored in my memory banks under the category of good medicine for the body, mind and spirit. I’ve showered away the day’s sand and sun, having splashed and floated about in the ocean much of the time. Listening to the sound of the ceiling fan whirring above me, and anticipating the chorus of frogs that will serenade me in less than an hour. The prelude are bird chirps.

Throughout the trip, I have felt as if I was being carried along on a sea of grace, not being the do-er of much. It is a spiritual practice that I have been hard pressed to grasp. I may be getting a taste of it now. Not much of a schedule to keep, drifting from one thing to the next, not needing to answer to anyone but myself. Connected with kindred spirits; enjoying the art of deep listening. When I sit in silence with someone, taking them in, not jumping in with a response that has anything to do with anything but them, I too am enriched. We all have our life experiences, unique unto ourselves and simultaneously in common with each other. Today, I discovered that all the more profoundly.

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I had an amazing conversation with a 24 year old wise man who is a poet, dancer and drummer. He uses the written word to express what he is not always able to out loud, although he seemed pretty darn articulate to me. He said that he likes to write things into being. Then we began talking about relationships. He said “It’s one thing to say “I do.” It’s another thing to say “Let’s do it.” What he meant was the commitment it takes to create and sustain a partnership. I learned a lot at the fruit bar on the edge of the ocean. Green smoothie followed.

Packed my suitcase tonight and know that I will be carrying a few invisible and precious items that I need not claim at customs.

1- I really can spend an entire week not working and the world won’t stop spinning.

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2- Relaxing and napping don’t equal being non-productive.

3- Being single doesn’t mean being alone; it means treating myself as I would a beloved other.

4- Being single in the midst of mostly couples doesn’t mean being the odd woman out.

5- Relationships look all kinds of ways. I observed contented, connected and conflicted couples.

6- I can kindly accept flirtatiousness from men on the beach without accepting their offers.

7-I am a really powerful manna-fester who calls into my life, amazing people and opportunities.

Appreciating at least A Thousand Beautiful Things

 

Previous Posts

Emotional Weather
I am a Force of Nature. So are you. So is everyone else on the planet. We are affected by the moon, the tides, the barometric pressure. When the winter comes and the sun isn't as visible, people experience Seasonal Affective Disorder (aptly ...

posted 8:19:45am Aug. 28, 2015 | read full post »

What Sustains You?
“All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.”- Julian of Norwich In your darkest, most frightening moments, what sustains you? What has you knowing that all is well?  For me, it is a deep spiritual ...

posted 11:02:08pm Aug. 26, 2015 | read full post »

Birthing A New Book
      My first book called The Bliss Mistress Guide To Transforming The Ordinary Into The Extraordinary came into the world in 2011, not quite like Venus fully formed from sea foam, but rather resembling a human baby, ...

posted 8:04:18pm Aug. 25, 2015 | read full post »

Luscious Lessons Learned on a Jamaican Sojourn
As I am writing this, the hours until departure from my Jamaican vacay are ticking away. I am not woeful or wistful, wishing it could be longer. It was perfectly timed to begin and perfectly timed to end. 24 hours from now, my plane will be ...

posted 7:49:46pm Aug. 22, 2015 | read full post »

Beach Yoga
After being in Jamaica for a few glorious days so far, I am learning that I am able to 'tolerate' a great deal of pleasure. I use that particular word, because for such a long time, I have been in 'go-mode,' not even recognizing the speed at ...

posted 9:02:42am Aug. 19, 2015 | read full post »

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