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We generally start out wanting our lives to be perfect. We promise ourselves we won’t make the mistakes our parents made and that we will right the wrongs of the past. It’s so easy in the beginning to keep our personal word. Life is uncomplicated when we initially have only ourselves to worry about. It’s…

I recently wrote a column called Why People Pleasers Aren’t Weak. That being said, trying to make everyone around us happy can become an emotional liability. Relationships are already enough work. We don’t need to be the only investor. Being a pleaser can put too much onus on one individual.  And here’s what I found…

Sure, I knew I was a people pleaser. But somehow hearing a marriage counselor who is a psychologist tell you this – well, it sounds worse. My counselor’s exact words, “Colleen, you’re a pleaser and a fixer.” People interpret being a pleaser as a weakness. But that’s not necessarily accurate. Yes, there are individuals who…

People stop hurting you when you finally accept and acknowledge who they are. My father didn’t have the power to hurt me once I understood and accepted he suffered from alcoholism. This never impacted my love for him. He was my dad and that would never change yet nor would my sadness or disappointment in…

To the idealist, dreams are exciting. To the realist, they are impractical. Dreams can often lead to an internal conflict. The one voice who says, ‘go for it!’ or the other that says, ‘run from it!’ How do we decipher what is fact or fiction? What is worth pursuing and what is not? What is…

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball If only it were that easy. Even individuals with healthy self-esteem wrestle with some degree of doubt, and when if ever, to put themselves first. Because loving one’s self often gets…

I spent years being intrigued by women’s Second Acts or reinventions profiled in the media. These great stories of self-empowerment.  Women seizing the day and going after the life they’ve always wanted. While I haven’t lost my lust for them I believe labeling them Second Acts is a misnomer. It’s not a Second Act. It’s…

I know a woman who spent two years becoming an EMT in the Fire Department. I paraphrase our conversation, but essentially I told her I thought she was a bada** (you can fill in the blanks) for having the courage to go for it. I was impressed with her strength. Her response caught me off…

Apologizing can be difficult. Yet, it is one of the most important relationships skills we can master. Why? Because the people we love are more important than being right. Or at least they should be. The problem with the majority of apologies? They are too complex and lack sincerity and simplicity. The complexity derives from…

Our suffering will be unlike many and like others. Human beings come in all shapes and sizes much like our respective pain. It will vary for each of us. However, we will all suffer.  There will be times when the world seems unkind. When God couldn’t seem farther away. When friends turn to foe. When…
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