Gaming For God

If you aren’t familiar with Tommy Wiseau and enjoy hilariously bad films, stop right now and go find his amazingly poor film The Room.  You won’t regret it, even though it is the worst thing you will ever see.  Yes, it’s that bad/good.

According to the Huffington Post writer/director/actor Tommy Wiseau is going to be in a new web series where he reviews video games.  Oddly enough my first thought was “well, this will be more informative than anything on G4TV.”  I still hold to that, but I do have concerns over what this will look like.  If they simply film Mr. Wiseau in front of a TV playing video games while making awkward comments this will be the best thing ever.  If, as the trailer suggests, there is a lot more to it than that, I am going to assume this will be short-lived.

Come to think of it, that may be better for all of us.

Dragon Quest X, the newest sequel in the long-running RPG series, is going to be an online game.  Unlike it’s blockbuster older brother IX, which could be played online or single player, X will be all all online.  In fact, only a few hours are available for single player play.  Couple that with it’s platform, the Wii and the Wii U, and the future of this title’s success in America is looking quite unclear.

Now, DQX will sell millions of copies in Japan.  They will shut down school, work, the government, and everything else so that they can gladly fork over the monthly fee to play this game.  There is no doubt in mind that it will be an epic hit and the biggest game of next year.  In America though, where Wii support has sagged and the 3DS has struggled, things may look quite different.  Online on the Wii isn’t exactly great, and online-only console games haven’t fared too well in America.  Outside of hardcore gamers, who is even going to play this game?  Not to mention that the game will be on the Wii and Wii U, guaranteeing that it won’t be as pretty as other recent games, and you’ve really got something that may backfire horridly.

My biggest concern though, is that Dragon Quest will lose ground in America.  The series has really come on strong here since DQ XIII captivated gamers on the Playstation 2, with successful entries on the DS including the online-ready IX.  Plus, Dragon Quest has had strong stories in the past, and that is something you just don’t see in online games.  I know there won’t be a monthly fee in America, but I still don’t see this doing well.

But then again, Final Fantasy XIII was horrible and it sold handsomely, so what do I know?

Y’all know I don’t really care for Monopoly. But I can’t resist whenever board games and video games intersect, like in this custom Fallout themed Monopoly game that Deviant Art user PinkAxolotl made for her boyfriend (she’s a keeper, dude!). Complete with grungy post-apocalyptic graphics and Nukem! Cola caps in place of money, this almost makes me want to play Monopoly. Almost.

Gamestop recently decided to open up every new copy of Deus Ex: Human Revolution, remove a coupon to play the game for free using PC streaming service OnLive, and then sell the game to you as if it were brand new. They then offered up a trite, completely unsatisfactory explanation on their Facebook page. People were understandably ticked, and many of them wrote some fairly entertaining things. Here are the Top 10 quotes from their Facebook  page.

Hey GameStop! I wanna return my copy of Halo2. It IS opened and everything, but the disc condition is guaranteed new! Take my word for it! – Ron

I can’t figure out what’s more appalling. That people defend this behaviour…or that people still shop at GameStop. Paying full price for a Pre-Scratched Employee Owned® edition was never my bag. – Zack

But Gamestop, your ruining the new game smell! – Craig

I just purchased this game with OnLive. Thanks for the heads up, GameStop – Ryan

how would you like it is the supermarket opened your cereal and took the toy inside? – Brian

God, game packages are hard enough to open. As far as I’m concerned, Gamestop just saved me the trouble. – Luke

I hope the people at gamestop brought their nerd-rage shields – Ethan

Does GameStop have a PR department? If so they should try consulting them next time they try to steal from paying customers. I’m sure they would have informed them that it is…ah…like bad and stuff. – Luke

Silly people, Gamestop are for soccer moms and “easy to scam” teenagers. – Vergel

I liked your page just so I could say that I will no longer be your customer due to your OnLive code yanking. – Bryce