Once again, Mercury has turned retrograde and stays that way until September 21st, causing widespread panic and confusion among the easily panicked and confused. I have assembled some helpful information that will nurse you through these dark days. You’re welcome.
*** Frequently Asked Questions about Mercury Retrograde ***
How can I mitigate the potential harm caused by Mercury retrograde?
It’s pretty much impossible to avoid everything Mercury rules during a retrograde period: communicating, short trips, making agreements, breathing, and so on. But it’s often best to put these things off during Mercury retrograde when possible.
Here’s a handy example: suppose you write a regular astrology blog and you know everyone is interested in Mercury retrograde, but you’ve already written about the subject several times. Instead of writing a whole bunch of fresh material about Mercury Retrograde and then going for a walk, as you might normally do? Slap together a blog entry composed largely of links to your previous articles on the subject, then take a nap.
That’s fine for you, but I don’t write about astrology for a living. what can I do in my specific case?
If you’re facing an issue at work related to Mercury Retrograde, sometimes all it takes a a little distraction from — oh look, a picture of a cat!
Wait a minute, what is Mercury retrograde anyway?
Simply put? It’s when the planet Mercury, from our perspective here on Earth, appears to be going backwards in its orbit. Here, read this and you’ll automatically know more astronomy than the average American public school graduate.
I’m still not sure I get it. Can you convey the meaning of Mercury Retrograde using an amusing true-life animal story?
Sure. Here you go.
I am a very smart person. Surely I’m immune to the effects of Mercury Retrograde!
No, smart people are not immune to the effects of Mercury Retrograde. Also, technically, that wasn’t a question.
Do governments ever make amusingly stupid decisions during Mercury Retrograde?
Yes. Yes they do.
But once Mercury Retrograde is over, everything goes back to normal, right?
Well… mostly. Not right away though. The Shadow Period (in this case) will be in effect until October 6th.
Dude, you’re killing me here. Any good news?
As the old saying goes, good news is no news. Astrology is far from negative or pessimistic in and of itself, but all too often that is the experience many people have with astrology. To a certain extent that’s understandable. The Evening News never starts with a long list of all the places that didn’t blow up today, does it?
Maybe it’s no surprise then that it seems Jupiter sometimes just doesn’t get the coverage in astrology circles that it deserves. Jupiter tends to rule a lot of the things we want out of life: commitments, a life in line with our philosophy and beliefs, a sense of order and justice, and “good times” in general. You’d think that the largest planet in our solar system would get more attention from astrology than often does, wouldn’t you? Nonetheless, it’s usually a difficult Saturn or Pluto Transit that sends people my way. I’d like to change that a little.
Jupiter enters Libra this September 9th. Overall this is considered to be a much better placement than Jupiter in Virgo has been, although Jupiter in Virgo was not without its charms. Unlike when many other planets change sign, a Jupiter Sign change can be a little hard to feel. Jupiter is incredibly powerful, but since it’s so often tends to bring either good news or an amplification of bad news you already knew about, it seems like Jupiter doesn’t get the attention it deserves.
But: take advantage of the opportunities Jupiter offers you, when they arise, and you’re working with pure astrological gold here, folks.
So: I’ve decided to do a couple of things about all this. First of all, here on this blog, I’ll be writing more about Jupiter in the next year as it passes through Libra. If it’s the “bad news” that gets the most attention, I have no problem with doing my small part to reverse that trend.
Also: for a limited time only I am offering specialized, half hour readings about how you personally can take maximum advantage of Jupiter in Libra, based on your birth chart. And just because Jupiter is such a generous planet, I’m going to be offering those consultations at less than half the regular price of my regular hour-long readings. Write me for details on how you too can take advantage of the next year!
In the meantime, this:
Are you sitting comfortably? Good. Would you like more tea? Okay. Have you tried the lemon slices? They were made fresh this morning.
Excellent. Now that you are all nice and relaxed, it’s time to talk about the September 1st Solar Eclipse in Virgo.
Now just calm down there a second, okay? Whenever I find myself writing about the astrological effects of a Solar Eclipse it always seems to start out with two general statements:
1) Eclipses aren’t as much a cause for alarm as many people might think. Astronomically they are certainly interesting, and there is a certain deep-down superstitious thrill to be had at the thought of one of the big lights in the sky going temporarily dark. But the astrological effects of an Eclipse are subtle, and it’s never just an Eclipse itself that will sink your boat.
2) Any Full Moon or New Moon has some astrological significance, and an Eclipse certainly seems to heighten that significance. But again, an Eclipse isn’t going to do anything to you on its own… it has to be activated by transits from other planets.
Having said that: I will admit that the September 1st Solar Eclipse in Virgo looks nasty on paper. Ten degrees Virgo is an awkward place for anything to be of late, given that the Saturn-Neptune square is banging on that point from Sagittarius and Pisces respectively. That’s a tough transit, but it’s been ongoing for a long time now. This means that the Eclipse isn’t likely going to do anything new and horrible to you. At most it will activate new and horrible potentials based on where Saturn and Neptune are right now, and will cause the effects of that transit to come out in relatively surprising and unexpected ways.
See? That wasn’t so bad was it?
Stop choking on that lemon slice, dear friend. You’re going to be all right. Let me explain.
How this Eclipse will affect you — if it affects you at all — will be dependent on the individual placements in your birth chart. Here are a few brief guidelines as to which of you are most likely to be affected.
If you were born: February 23-March 6, May 26-June 5, August 28-September 7, or November 27-December 7 (in any year), this Eclipse is aspecting The Sun in your birth chart. Who are you, and what do you want? If you’ve had many doubts about this in the last couple of months, you can expect the other shoe to drop… for good or ill… relatively soon. Remember: the closer your birthday is to the middle of one of those date ranges, the stronger the effect will be.
If your Ascendant is between 5-15 degrees Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, or Pisces, the big question this Eclipse could be raising is “who are these people in my life?” Also: “what am I doing for these people and what am I doing for them?” Also, possibly: “who the heck are you, and how did you get into my life? Should I have invested in a burglar alarm?”
If your Midheaven is between 5-15 degrees Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, or Pisces, this Eclipse could be doing big things to your career path (or lack thereof), or in a more general sense, “what you want to be when you grow up.” You may not like what you’re doing for a living like you once did… or potentially, those forces that you were afraid may push you out may finally do so.
There is also a long list of birth dates that will be affected based on the position of one of the outer planets (Saturn through Pluto) at your time of birth, but rather than catalog those here, if you’re really concerned you might want to consider getting a reading write me about that… discount for new clients!
One thing to keep in mind if you are worried about this Eclipse is that regardless of how it affects the other points in your birth chart, one of the traditional rules I find works is that an Eclipse is more of a cause for concern if it happens above the Horizon in your birth chart… in other words, if 10 degrees Virgo fall somewhere in your 7th to 12th houses. This doesn’t mean that if you have Taurus Rising (for example) you’re automatically off the hook, but it can be a good sign.
Finally: Eclipses may bring unexpected events, but unexpected events aren’t always bad. For every point in any given chart that is being squared or opposed by an Eclipse, another point will be getting a trine or sextile, and those are generally considered “good” aspects. It’s just that the Evening News never starts with a long list of all the terrible things that didn’t happen today, does it?
On the other hand, Eclipse or not… there’s still that whole Saturn square Neptune thing going on, and if you enjoy being panicked that’s bad enough isn’t it?
As any astrologer can tell you, Neptune is the planet most associated with delusion and self-deception. Furthermore, a planet is particularly strong when it is in the Sign that it rules. So it’s perhaps no surprise that Neptune in Pisces has brought us a new and modern twist on delusion: clickbait.
If you are unfamiliar with the clickbait concept, you have almost certainly encountered it on the Internet. Here is an example…
Even if you aren’t into politics, if you’re on Facebook you undoubtedly have a few friends who are very loud about the subject. Some people will seemingly repost any nonsense that agrees with their political beliefs, regardless of whether or not what is being posted has any basis in fact whatsoever.
There are many web sites out there dedicated to making a buck off of your clicks by cranking out a large volume of poorly thought-out or completely un-researched articles designed to make you feel like yes, Politician X really is a terrible person, and here’s more proof!
Here’s how this sort of thing works:
- Find a YouTube video that someone made in their basement ranting about how politician ex is a terrible person. Bonus points if that video uses “Sandstorm” by Darude or “Clubbed To Death” from The Matrix soundtrack.
- Come up with a catchy, shout-y title that demands you click on it immediately. Example: POLITICIAN X’S HIDDEN AGENDA DESTROYED BY ONE SIMPLE FACT!
- Crank out a couple of hundred words more or less supporting the point being made by the YouTube video. It doesn’t matter really: by the time you’re actually reading the article the website has already registered that precious click, thus making it more valuable to its advertisers.
- Don’t bother with facts, quotes, or citing your sources. People are here to click on the ads, not to think.
See how easy it is to make money from home with Neptune? And now do you see why that crap you keep reposting make you look stupid to everyone except the people who already agree with you on the subject, and who are likely to like and repost that seemed meaningless nonsense you just posted, thus increasing the net worth of some guy sitting in a server room in Slovakia?
Now, here’s a video some guy made in his basement that reveals the shocking TRUTH about Saturn!