Beliefnet
Oh My Stars

(Neptune is in Pisces, and is currently conjunct the South Node, as it has been for about a month now, and has another month or so to go. This is like a double dose of delusion. Lucky you, you’re totally immune to that sort of thing, aren’t you?)

NEPTUNE:
Hey, how you doing?

YOU:
Feeling pretty confident, thanks for asking.

NEPTUNE:
It’s the drugs.

YOU:

What? What drugs? I’m not on any drugs.

NEPTUNE:
Sure you are. All day long.

YOU:
No I’m not! That’s nonsense.

NEPTUNE:
Sure you are.

YOU:
What??? You’re insane.

NEPTUNE:
No. You’re high as a kite at least half the day and you don’t even know it.

YOU:
Nonsense. I can still operate machinery and walk a straight line. I do that sort of thing all the time!

NEPTUNE:
I’m not talking about those kinds of drugs.

YOU:
Drugs are for losers. Drugs are for people who can’t cope with reality.

NEPTUNE:
You’re so high you don’t even know it.

YOU:
I’m ending this conversation right now.

NEPTUNE:
Of course. You’re busy. You’re busy with Facebook games and re-posting any old nonsense you find that agrees with your preconceptions. You’re busy shouting at the people who post political opinions that are different than yours, and who are using the same kinds of un-sourced nonsense to back their arguments that you use to back yours… because of course “the mainstream media” is just in it for the money, but there’s no way one yo-yo with a web site could possibly make money off of feeding people the lies they crave, is there? Then you repost other people’s memes that distort those fabrications even more. You’re busy yelling about how all the cancer and Alzheimer’s is a result of modern living — without realizing that more people are getting those things because fewer people are being killed off sooner by infected wounds and accidents and polio. But that’s okay, because if you do get cancer or Alzheimer’s you’ll just rub some cinnamon on it because natural medicine is awesome, right? You’re busy playing Candy Smash while your world descends into lunacy.

Like I said… DRUGS.

YOU:
(long silence)

NEPTUNE:
Don’t forget to vote on Tuesday.

YOU:
Shut up. I’m trying to do a quiz to find out which Game Of Thrones character I am…

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Finally... clear-cut directions from an astrologer!

Finally… clear-cut directions from an astrologer!

Here’s the most important astrological forecast of the month. Really? Yes! Why? Knowing when the Moon Void of Course is happening is probably the handiest of all the common astrological techniques. Learn it, make it work for you, and save yourself tons of unnecessary aggravation!

Seriously: you want to see what REAL astrology can REALLY do? Start by learning about the Void of Course Moon and then avoid starting new projects or initiatives during that time and you’ll be amazed by the results. Imagine it: a guide to how to be more successful AND a permission slip from The Universe to goof off sometimes!

(CLICK HERE for more on what The Void of Course Moon actually is, and what you can do about it — or rather, what you should avoid doing during that time. Looking for tips on handling those times when they happen? Click HERE.)

Particularly long and/or annoying Voids are marked with **

Note: Times are for Eastern Time, or as New Yorkers call it, “hurry up, already!” DST is observed.
Nov  1, 2016    10:43 AM                Moon enters Sagittarius
Nov  3, 2016     6:35 AM               Moon trine Uranus V/C**
Nov  3, 2016    11:05 PM                Moon enters Capricorn
*** Daylight Saving Time ends. Celebrate the joy of sleeping in an extra hour! ***
Nov  6, 2016     4:56 AM               Moon conjunct Mars V/C
Nov  6, 2016     8:55 AM                Moon enters Aquarius
Nov  8, 2016     8:54 AM               Moon sextile Venus V/C
Nov  8, 2016     4:45 PM                Moon enters Pisces
Nov 10, 2016     6:16 PM               Moon square Venus V/C
Nov 10, 2016     8:45 PM                Moon enters Aries
Nov 12, 2016     7:45 AM               Moon conjunct Uranus V/C**
Nov 12, 2016     9:24 PM                Moon enters Taurus
Nov 14, 2016     8:52 AM               Sun opposite Moon V/C**
Nov 14, 2016     8:23 PM                Moon enters Gemini
Nov 16, 2016     5:57 AM               Moon sextile Uranus V/C**
Nov 16, 2016     7:57 PM                Moon enters Cancer
Nov 18, 2016     5:02 PM               Sun trine Moon V/C
Nov 18, 2016    10:14 PM                Moon enters Leo
Nov 21, 2016     3:33 AM               Sun square Moon V/C
Nov 21, 2016     4:34 AM                Moon enters Virgo
Nov 22, 2016    12:41 PM               Moon square Saturn V/C
Nov 23, 2016     2:42 PM                Moon enters Libra
Nov 25, 2016     8:52 AM               Moon opposite Uranus V/C**
Nov 26, 2016     3:01 AM                Moon enters Scorpio
Nov 27, 2016     4:48 PM               Moon sextile Venus V/C**
Nov 28, 2016     3:46 PM                Moon enters Sagittarius
Nov 30, 2016    11:08 PM               Moon conjunct Mercury V/C
Dec  1, 2016     3:52 AM                Moon enters Capricorn

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Previously, I illustrated how the major aspects worked by describing how Mercury and Mars would interact while in a long line-up to get their Driver’s Licenses renewed (click here if you missed it). Also previously, I picked on the minor aspects a little because, well… they’re minor aspects (click here for that). A few people chimed in to defend the minor aspects, so I decided to give them one more spotlight.

After this, though? I’m sending the little gaffers off to bed so the adults can party without them.

***

SEMISEXTILE OR QUINCUNX

MERC: We need to make this happen more quickly.

MARS: …without actually getting ourselves arrested, of course.

MERC: I have an idea!

MARS: It’s probably not a very good one. Let’s just shove our way through.

MERC: That would be rude, and might get us arrested.

MARS: You’re such a wimp!

(MERC and MARS argue the merits of their individual approaches for a couple of hours until they eventually reach the front of the line.)

MERC: (Sarcastically) Nice work, dude.

MARS: We should have done it my way!

(They continue to argue. It gets louder, and there is some shoving. The police show up and arrest MERC and MARS)

MERC: Nice work, bonehead.

MARS: Shut up!

QUINTILE

MERC: We need to make this happen more quickly.

MARS: …without actually getting ourselves arrested, of course.

MERC: I’ve decided to express my frustration in the form of a haiku.

Stupid licences

People standing in line-ups

Sheep to the slaughter.

(MERC and MARS look around. The line-up hasn’t changed at all.)

MARS: Well, that did no good whatsoever.

MERC: Hmmmm. Maybe if I try a sonnet…

SEPTILE

MERC: We need to make this happen more quickly.

MARS: Let us align ourselves with the Divine Wisdom of the Universe and see if that helps.

MERC and MARS: (Chanting, with their eyes closed) Om mani padme hummmmmmm…..

(MERC and MARS do this for about twenty minutes. They open their eyes to discover the line-up hasn’t moved at all.)

MERC: Hmmm. Maybe we should try another approach.

MERC and MARS: (Chanting, with their eyes closed) Nam Hyo Renge Kyo, Nam Hyo Renge Kyo, Nam Hyo Renge Kyo…

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I’ve written about the aspects — how planets in your birth chart interact with each other — before, and yet it seems the subject needs more explanation. Here, for example, are the major aspects as seen through the Star Wars films.

(WARNING: If you’re learning astrology and get everything exactly right the first time, you’re undoubtedly getting something wrong. It’s not that easy to explain and/or understand, but I do my best, okay?)

So how do we make sense of it all, when you look at a chart and it says “Sun sextile Neptune” or “Venus square Jupiter,” or whatever? First of all, there are some fine books out there that list all the possible aspects between the planets in an easily, orderly manner. A lot of astrologers call these (sometimes a little disparagingly) “cookbook” listings. They may not give you the depth of experience an actual astrologer might have with them, but on the other hand… if you follow the right cookbook, you may not become an Iron Chef, but you’re bound to make tastier meals than the average person.

To give you a little idea of the flavor an aspect lends to the planets it connects, let’s have a look at a theoretical example. Imagine for a moment that Mercury, The Thinker And Talker, is standing at the very back of a very long line to get his driver’s license renewed… along with his very different friend, Mars, The Action Man. Without taking any action, it will take them at least two hours to get to the front of the line. Let’s see how the aspect between the two affects their behavior…

CONJUNCTION

MERC: We need to make this happen more quickly.

MARS: …without actually getting ourselves arrested, of course.

MERC: I have an idea! (hands MARS a megaphone)

MARS: (Speaking through megaphone) Your attention please! Due to budget cutbacks, today we will only be able to serve people whose name starts with “M.” Thank you!

(Ninety-five percent of the people in the lineup grumble and leave within ten minutes. MERC and MARS move to the front of the line)

MERC: Nice work, dude!

SEXTILE

MERC: We need to make this happen more quickly.

MARS: …without actually getting ourselves arrested, of course.

MERC: I have an idea! (hands MARS a sheet of poster board and a marker. MARS neatly writes a large sign that reads “Due to budget cutbacks, today we will only be able to serve people whose name starts with “M.” Thank you for your patience.” He tapes the sign up, and within twenty minutes most of the people in line notice it and leave. Soon thereafter, MERC and MARS at at the front of the line.)

MERC: Nice work, dude!

SQUARE

MERC: We need to make this happen more quickly.

MARS: …without actually getting ourselves arrested, of course. And it was stupid coming here on Monday. Mondays are always like this here.

MERC: Hey, I had to work around YOUR schedule, remember?

MARS: Don’t blame me, you chicken. We could have been here last week if you weren’t always talking about things instead of doing them!

MERC: Gee, sorry I can’t be a huge jerk like YOU.

(MERC and MARS continue to argue loudly, occasionally shoving each other. This makes the other people nervous and uncomfortable, and within forty five minutes most of them have left. Soon thereafter, MERC and MARS are at the front of the line.)

MERC: (Sarcastically) Nice work, dude!

MARS: Shut up!

(After the licenses are renewed, the police show up, arrest MERC and MARS, and haul them away.)

MERC: Hey, at least we got done here fairly quickly!

TRINE

MERC: We need to make this happen more quickly.

MARS: …without actually getting ourselves arrested, of course.

MERC: I have an idea! (hands MARS a megaphone)

MARS: (Speaking through megaphone) Your attention please! Due to budget cutbacks, today we will only be able to serve people whose name starts with “M.” Thank you!

(Ninety-five percent of the people in the lineup grumble. MERC and MARS run around with an hors d’oeuvre tray, offer their sincere apologies for the cutbacks, and cheer everyone up. Within five minutes everyone else leaves, happy. MERC and MARS move to the front of the line)

MERC: Nice work, dude!

OPPOSITION

MERC: We need to make this happen more quickly.

MARS: …without actually getting ourselves arrested, of course.

MERC: I have an idea! (hands MARS a megaphone)

MARS: Thanks… but I’d rather shove people around.

MERC: That doesn’t sound like an efficient use of energy. Why not use cunning instead? (hands MARS a sheet of poster board and a marker)

MARS: That’s stupid!

(MERC and MARS argue about the relative merits of their approaches. The argument continues and gets louder, and within an hour most of the other people have left because of the unpleasantness, and MERC and MARS arrive at the front of the line)

MERC: Nice work, dude.

MARS: Whatever, dude.

 

Questions about your birth chart, or astrology in general? Want to know more about my big discount on readings for new clients? Want a free month of my NEW Subscription Service? Write me for details!

CLICK HERE to join the Oh My Stars Facebook Fan Page, and get exclusive content, an additional discount on a reading, more material on blog entries, AND ANOTHER free e-book!