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Write Your Own Sun Sign Forecast, I Dare You!

posted by Matthew Currie

(Please note: Matthew’s air conditioning has broken down in the middle of our current heat wave, and is in no shape to provide the serious dissertation on the philosophical and metaphysical underpinnings of Traditional Hellenistic Astrology as originally planned. In its place we present an overheated ramble on the fine art of producing Sun Sign forecasts. We apologize for the inconvenience.)

Next week I will be introducing a new feature to my blog: a weekly Sun Sign horoscope. I know that saying a weekly Sun Sign horoscope is “a new feature” is a little like saying that a religion is “a new take on spirituality.” Even if it is a new religion, odds are very good that it’s going to be saying more or less the same things in more or less the same ways that religions always have said. And, by the way, a lot of people will ultimately end up getting it wrong anyway.

I feel more than a small amount of pity for any astrologer who writes a Sun Sign forecast. Well-written Sun Sign forecasts can be very useful, but is ultimately limited compared to what an actual reading can do for you. The entire emphasis on “Sun Signs” is largely an accident of the calender system Western society uses. If we had a lunar based calendar, people would be able to figure out their Moon Signs just by looking at their birthday. The Moon Sign is, in many ways, just as useful and important as the Sun Sign.

Now, for those of you who have wondered, here’s how the typical Sun Sign forecast is written, more or less. Study the techniques and in time you too can be your very own Linda C. Black!

(Linda C. Black, for the record, is a syndicated astrologer who died in 2009, yet still produces daily horoscopes. That sort of thing is a little spooky if you ask me. Then again, if V.C. Andrews can do it, why not?)

Suppose that next week the big event is Mars opposite Uranus. Mars is in Libra and Uranus is in Aries. If you are a Sun Sign Libra, this is roughly equivalent of Mars transiting through your First House being opposed by Uranus in your Seventh House. Mars passing through the First House of your birth chart tends to make you more energetic, rambunctious, and outgoing. Uranus going through your Seventh House tends to make relationships and partnerships relatively wild and exciting and unpredictable. Oppositions create dynamic tension.

If you are an Aries, it’s like having Uranus passing through your First House and Mars through your Seventh… regardless of your actual House placements…because Aries and Libra are opposite each other and “you” = “First House.” Get it?

So, putting those facts together, the Aries and Libra forecast kind of write themselves.

ARIES: Your mate is going to be a maniac, because you’re being a weirdo.

LIBRA: Your mate is going to be a weirdo, because you’re being a maniac.

Similarly… now go with me on this… Aries is the “12th house” of Taurus, and Libra is the “12th house” of Scorpio, being the Signs that immediately precede Taurus and Scorpio. Opposite the 12th House is the Sixth House, so the 12th and Sixth Houses of Taurus are Aries and Libra, and the 12th and Sixth Houses of Scorpio are Libra and Aries.

With me so far? Good.

Since the 12th house has a lot to do with things like spirituality, karma, hidden matters, and your deep mental state, and the Sixth House rules things like daily work routines, filing an organization, and your health, here’s what the Taurus and Scorpio forecasts would look like:

TAURUS: You are putting a lot of work into the daily details of your life, because in fact you are crazy. You need medication.

SCORPIO: You are feeling crazy, because in fact your daily details are all screwed up. You need Feng Shui.

Once again, I have grotesquely oversimplified the process, but that’s the basics of how it works. Just throw in all the other planetary happenings for the week using the same basic concepts, and you’ve got it made.You can probably also now see why some Sun Sign forecasts also tell you to go by your Moon Sign and the Sign of your ascendant, assuming you know what those are.

Now, let’s toss out some quick and handy keywords for each of the planets, because as we all know, simplifying the complexities the Human Condition down to a bunch of quick clichés never went wrong, ever:

SUN: Your need to be more Special than all of God’s other Special Little Snowflakes.

MOON: Whining, moody, poor-me-ism.

MERCURY: Yammering, blathering, your crackpot ideas that never go anywhere.

VENUS: Why does no one love me??

MARS: I swear I will kill you all!!

JUPITER: Overdoing it, being a blowhard, being sure you’re always right abut everything.

SATURN: Oh God, my back! My back is killing me!

URANUS: Whaddaya mean I’m crazy? You’re crazy! My idea for The Bathtub Toaster is BRILLIANT!”

NEPTUNE: Drunkenness, stupidity, and that steadfast refusal to think of your kid as anything but “A glorious Indigo Child” and “a reincarnated Ascended Master” even when The Little Darling has set fire to the neighbor’s house and vivisected your cat.

PLUTO: Look out, he’s got a gun! And so do I!!

***

So, there you have it. I have just handed you the keys to the kingdom as to how to write a Sun Sign forecast. You may now get to work writing your own, and you too can enjoy the lucrative cash benefits of becoming a professional astrology writer.

(Pause for laughter)

Okay: I admit that it’s a little more complex than just that, but that’s the essence of it. I’ve been looking at a lot of other people’s daily and weekly sunshine forecast, and the more I look, the more I realize what a fine art it is writing those things without either becoming dull as dishwater or losing your mind and going on a machete rampage.

***

Oh wait… you say that’s too much work for you? Okay. Join me back here next Sunday evening/Monday morning, and we’ll see if I go either of those routes myself. And hey, I’ll probably throw in an adorable animal video too, because that sort of thing works for Gawker and Buzzfeed.

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Questions about your birth chart, or astrology in general? Want to know more about my big discount on readings for new clients? Write me!

Your Birth Chart Isn’t As Bad As You Were Told

posted by Matthew Currie

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One of the most important ideas in traditional astrology is also one of those things that sometimes puts people off from learning more about it: the concept of planetary rulerships, dignities, and debilities. What’s really interesting and useful about knowing what the planet rules what Sign is that it helps you understand the nature of both the Sign and the planet in question.

In traditional astrology, the Sun and Moon each rule one Sign, and the other planets each rule two Signs. A planet in the Sign that it rules is said to be in its “home” or “rulership.” All else being equal, A planet in the Sign that it rules is considered to be “strong.” Furthermore, each planet is also “exalted” in one of the Signs. If the planet in a Sign that it rules is strong, then a planet in its exalted placement can be said to “be doing its best work.”

An example of this is Mars, which traditionally rules Aries and Scorpio. Having your Mars in Aries and Scorpio probably gives you pretty good strength and drive. Mars is exalted in Capricorn, meaning that not only is Mars their strong, it takes on the hard working and ambitious qualities of Capricorn, so that it does its best work.

(I’m not going to be talking about the so-called “outer planets” in this article: Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. Things are complex enough when dealing with the traditional dealerships alone, thank you very much.)

That’s all fine and well, but what if a planet in your birth chart is in a Sign that is opposite to one of the “good” placements? If a planet is opposite a Sign it rules, it is said to be in its “detriment.” If a planet is opposite the Sign where it is exalted, it is said to be in “its fall.” Planets in the sign of their detriment or fall often have a harder time functioning properly then they do when they are in a “good” place.

That’s all fine and well, but when you’re looking at your own birth chart and suddenly realize something like “holy cow, my Mercury is debilitated, does that mean I’m stupid?” it can be pretty off-putting.

This is why that, although traditional astrological interpretations work pretty well, we have to be careful when integrating those factors into our picture of a complete person. This is also why computer-generated personality reports are often so much less satisfying than an interpretation by a human astrologer who knows what he or she is talking about. A computer generated report is likely to either be missing the point by being too harsh, or its wording will be so heavily vetted that it ends up saying very little.

Since so many people get put off by astrology when they discovered that this planet or that planet of theirs is “debilitated” or “in its fall,” let’s clear some things up right now by looking at how the planets in the birth chart can really function when they are in a supposedly bad neighborhood.

SUN: The Sun rules Leo, and is exalted in Aries. Therefore, the Sun is debilitated in Aquarius and in its fall in Libra. Since the Sun rules things like the ego, your vitality levels, and public recognition, does that mean that if you are an Aquarius or a Libra you will always be a sickly schlub who dies in miserable obscurity?

Heck no! Sun in Aquarius often means that you simply aren’t letting your ego get in the way of your higher mind, your better motivations, or anyone else unnecessarily. And Sun in Libra gives you those classic Libra qualities of recognizing the other guy’s viewpoint, and that no one makes it to the top of the mountain entirely alone.

MOON: The Moon rules Cancer and is exalted in Taurus, therefore the Moon is in its detriment in Capricorn and is in its fall in Scorpio.

The Moon is your emotional core, your instinctive responses, and how your mind works before things like language and logic get in the way. And in my experience, Moon in Capricorn and Moon in Scorpio are perhaps the two most un-necessarily picked on placements in the zodiac.

Moon in Capricorn isn’t unfeeling…it’s emotions are strong and fierce. So strong, in fact, that sometimes you’ll find you simply have to hide them away before you scare anyone off with them. Likewise, Scorpio has strong and fierce feelings. That too can be unintentionally intimidating for others around you. Moon also has an association with memory, and let’s be honest here: have you ever known anyone with Moon in Scorpio who could forget a slight easily?

MERCURY: Mercury rules Gemini and Virgo, and is (for some strange reason) exalted in either Virgo or (depending on who you ask) in Aquarius. Mercury rules language, communication, and logic. So we all know that Geminis can talk a good game, and we all know how analytical Virgo can be. But what about Mercury in Pisces, which is either its detriment and/or its fall (again depending on who you ask)?

Have you ever heard of “fuzzy logic”? It is a vital concept in high level computing, and at the risk of oversimplifying it, here’s how it works: The question “is there a carton of milk in the fridge?” can be answered with either a simple YES or NO. But that’s simple answer tells us absolutely nothing about how much milk is in the carton, whether or not it has gone bad yet, and whether or not it is whole milk or skim. For those qualitative answers that tell us so much more about the Universe rather than simply YES or NO, you need “fuzzy logic.” In my experience, people with Mercury in Pisces excel at that sort of thing.

Now, as for the whole thing about where Mercury is actually exalted? Don’t get me started. The answer would require a whole lot of fuzzy logic, and I haven’t got all day. So let’s take a brief break before we continue and consider the case of Cleo, who (as a Libra) has her Sun in its fall. 

beliefnet astrology matthew curried debilitated planets

Haven’t found anything debilitated in this box. Carry on.

VENUS: Venus rules Taurus and Libra, thus it is in its full in Scorpio and Aries. Venus is exalted in Pisces, therefore it is in its fall in Virgo. Since Venus has a lot to do with who and how we love and the things we enjoy, does that mean if you have your Venus in Scorpio, Aries, or Virgo you are doomed to be a Scrooge D’Amour and/or perpetually alone? Nope.

Venus in Scorpio and Venus in Aries both have tremendous intensity to them. They don’t sit around waiting for love to fall into their lap… unless they built a cleverly concealed trap for it, that is… they go out and they get it. They appreciate romantic boldness. Every Cindarella story needs a Prince Charming willing to fight off some dragons or climb a tower to make that happy ending. If you’ve got Venus in Scorpio or Aries, regardless of your gender, you’re probably that Prince Charming somehow. And Virgos are well known for their caring, thoughtful, and helpful nature… and really, couldn’t love use more of that sort of thing?

MARS: Mars traditionally rules Aries and Scorpio, and is exalted in Capricorn. Therefore Mars is debilitated in Libra or Taurus, and is in its fall in Cancer. If Mars is your drive and ambition and strength to face adversity, that if you have a “bad” Mars placement, are you going to be either weak willed and/or an uncontrolled rage machine?

Not necessarily. Mars is passion, and Taurus has plenty of that. Libra is “relationship oriented.” Mars in Libra understands you can’t just sit around waiting for peace and harmony to arrive on its own all the time. And yes, Mars in Cancer can be a touchy placement… but an unprovoked Mars is essentially a useless Mars.

JUPITER: Jupiter rules Sagittarius and, traditionally, Pisces. It is exalted in Cancer. Thus, Jupiter is in its detriment in Gemini and Virgo, and is in its fall in Capricorn. Jupiter generally stands for your personal philosophy, higher education, and humor. Does that mean you’re going to be some sort of unthoughtful, uneducated, humorless lunkhead if you have a “bad” Jupiter? Nah.

Jupiter in Gemini has a particular gift for words and language and communication, which are a vital part of humor. Jupiter in Gemini can keep its philosophy flexible, which is a good thing, because what philosopher has gotten it all right yet? Jupiter in Virgo is able to bring a more expensive worldview to a Sign that otherwise can get too hung up on the daily details. And Capricorn can bring a sense of structure and order to Jupiter that it often sorely lacks.

SATURN: Saturn traditionally rules Capricorn and Aquarius, and is exalted in Libra. So Saturn is in its detriment in Cancer and Leo, and is in its fall in Aries. Since Saturn rules structure, order teeth and bones, does that mean you will always be a scattered, inefficient, and frail creature if you have Saturn in one of those places? Really? Have you been reading this article at ALL if you still think that?

Although it’s easy to say bad things about Saturn even at the best of times, by now you’ve probably figured out what I’m getting at.

***

Having debilitated planets is not a bad thing at all, necessarily. For one thing, how any one part of your life functions is dependent on a lot more than simply the Sign placement of one planet. There are house rulerships and house placements and aspects and midpoints and fixed stars and other things to consider too.

Let me give you one real life example: myself. I have both my Mercury and Jupiter in their detriment… In fact they’re both retrograde as well. Mercury rules writing, and Jupiter rules publishing. Yet somehow, I make a living off of writing and am also a published author.

But, proofreading, editing myself, and doing second and third drafts? It’s like pulling teeth. I don’t have half the patience for proofreading and editing myself that I should. Nonetheless, I am still able to write for a living.

So as you can see, having one or more of the planets and your birth chart in a “bad place” does not necessarily mean bad results. As Eric Clapton so wisely put it: “it’s in the way that you use it.” Eric Clapton, by the way, has a debilitated Moon, Jupiter and Saturn… so of course, he could never be a success, right…?

Want a free e-book? Sure you do! Click HERE!

Questions about your birth chart, or astrology in general? Want to know more about my big discount on readings for new clients? Write me!

CLICK HERE to join the Oh My Stars Facebook Fan Page, and get exclusive content, an additional discount on a reading, more material on blog entries, AND ANOTHER free e-book!

Ask An Astrologer: How Can I Use You?

posted by Matthew Currie

(This is a part of the “Ask An Astrologer” series)

KG writes: “How can I use you?”

This is an excellent question, KG, and since I know you have Moon in Aries on the Ascendant, I’ll give you the short answer, then you can peruse the details afterwards if you like.

You can use me to help you understand yourself, others, your relationships, your career options, your finances your aspirations, your past, and to predict the future. I can help you decide when is best to start a new venture or help you foresee when there will be problems with business or your love life or finances or your kids or… well, pretty much anything.

***

Now, the background: A lot of my time in college was spent learning psychology and counseling techniques, because I figured the best way to make the world a better place was one person at a time. I still believe that — more so than ever in fact — but as time went on I got really tired of how traditional counseling works. A counselor is (to a certain extent) not supposed to point out the obvious. He or she is supposed to help you figure it out for yourself. That’s fair, because I’m certainly no expert on how to run your life… but the traditional process can be frustratingly slow.

This reminds me of an old joke:

A man goes to see the doctor and says “Doctor, every time I drink my coffee in the morning I get a terrible stabbing pain in my eye.”

The doctor says: “Have you tried taking your spoon out of the cup first?”

Whereas the traditional counseling session, in my experience, is more like:

A man goes to see the doctor and says “Doctor, every time I drink my coffee in the morning I get a terrible stabbing pain in my eye.”

The doctor says: “And how does that make you feel?”  Then, after an hour of discussion, the man leaves, makes an appointment for next week, and continues to get stabbed in the eye every morning.

***

Astrological legend Nicholas Campion performed a survey of astrologers at two conferences, one in the US and one in Britain, asking them how they viewed astrology: as a science, a “divine science,” a form of counseling, a religion, as a healing art, as a means of predicting the future, and so on. Some of these views I ascribe to (it’s definitely a form of counseling and thus a “healing art”) and some I don’t (religion? Yeesh, no thanks).

What struck me most about these survey results is that less than half of the astrologers questioned saw astrology as “a means of predicting the future.” A lot of astrologers shy away from making predictions. I admit that understanding  how astrology’s predictive techniques really work can be a challenging task… and it doesn’t take many mistakes before an astrologer gets discouraged and decides to completely go with the “psychological astrology” approach. A lot of astrologers get great results with that sort of thing. But to me, without the predictive element, astrology is just another branch of psychology, and really — aren’t there enough of those already?

Besides: The Future is where they keep all the best stuff, after all.

When you get right down to it, astrology or not… The Future is more a matter of what you do to get there than what’s there when you arrive… because when you get there, it’s just “The Present.”  You already know that people will still be people, prone as always to their moments of Divinity and Stupidity. I’ll have mine and you’ll have yours, but with luck we’ll have learned a little along the way. Facing that future with all the knowledge you can carry with you can’t help but be a good thing. Knowing where you’re headed can help you decided if the future you’re headed towards is the best one.

And, for the record: Maybe I’m just an optimist, but I think that overall, the future sounds like a great place to be going. In fact, to me, it sounds a little like this:

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So: if you just can’t get a handle on what’s going on now, or if you feel like taking a ride with me and having a sneak preview of your future, or both… drop me a line, okay? 

Want a free e-book? Sure you do! Click HERE!

Questions about your birth chart, or astrology in general? Want to know more about my big discount on readings for new clients? Write me!

CLICK HERE to join the Oh My Stars Facebook Fan Page, and get exclusive content, an additional discount on a reading, more material on blog entries, AND ANOTHER free e-book!

Tyrion Lannister’s Game Of Squares

posted by Matthew Currie
beliefnet astrology game of thrones matthew currie

source: http://93criiis.deviantart.com/

To: Maester Mikayel Lutin, Chief Astrologer and Keeper Of The Electrum Link, Casterly Rock

From: Tyrion Lannister, Acting Hand Of The King (former), Master Of Coin (former), Still Breathing (eventually to be former)

Dear Maester Lutin:

I am writing to you from my cell deep in King’s Landing, where you have no doubt heard I am awaiting trial for the murder of my nephew King Joffrey. Though I am innocent, I confess I do not miss the brat at all. He was a greater menace to the Seven Kingdoms than all the wildlings north of The Wall put together.

I have had a great deal of time to reflect on my past, here in this dungeon. Many a time my thoughts have turned to the lessons learned from you in my youth about both astrology and poetry. I am writing to you now with two questions about those subjects.

You told me once that ultimately the stars, like The Seven Gods themselves, are fair. I never believed that until recently. You see, I think I’ve finally absorbed the lesson you were trying to teach me the whole time I studied the predictive arts with you: when you said “fair,” what you really meant was “they follow rules and can’t be swayed by our tastes and opinions.”

Thanks for the lesson, Maester!

It all reminds me of my cousin Orson, who was the simplest of creatures and who would sit in the garden all day crushing bugs with a rock, happily exclaiming “Kuu! Kuu! Kuu!” while doing so. I never understood what he got out of it, but now I realize he was, in fact, following rules — and was thus, in his own way, the most “fair” member of my family. If a beetle should cross his path, he’d smash it… consistently. My father on the other hand has waited until now to do that with me. You see, he is one of the judges at my trial. He has a long line-up of witnesses he’s bought and paid for to testify against me. Or perhaps it was my sister responsible for that. Either way, my family remains problematic.

The reason I’m writing though is not to reminisce about my idiot cousin or complain about my father. In my current position, I am unable to consult the Table Of The Wanderers. I know that you once pointed out that two of the most feared of the Wanderers… the Strange One and the Dweller in Darkness… would have been in a square aspect to each other for a couple of years now. And what a couple of years it has been, filled with death and drama and intrigue and betrayals! Yet I find I am optimistic about the outcome of my current situation. This may be, as you once pointed out, because of my birth in the last month of the year.

What I need to know is: even though I believe I will somehow come out of all this relatively unscathed… will the Strange One and the Dweller in Darkness REALLY be in a square aspect to each other for ANOTHER TWO YEARS YET?

Kuu Kuu Kuu!

Nonetheless, I remain optimistic, and I’m sure I’ll find a way to work things out with Father somehow.

Now, as for my question about poetry: I find that, for all the time I’ve had to remember my lessons while confined here in my cell, I am unable to recall one of my favorites from my youth, and was wondering if you could send me the rest of it. It’s the one that begins:

There was a young lass from Meereen
Tattooed from her head to her spleen…

Your assistance with this would be much appreciated. Please answer as quickly as possible — my trial date approaches quickly.

Yours,
Tyrion Lannister

Want a free e-book? Sure you do! Click HERE!

Questions about your birth chart, or astrology in general? Want to know more about my big discount on readings for new clients? Write me!

CLICK HERE to join the Oh My Stars Facebook Fan Page, and get exclusive content, an additional discount on a reading, more material on blog entries, AND ANOTHER free e-book!

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