Sassy Spirit

Sassy Spirit

Cup of Me

posted by jperry

Did you ever get so busy you put salt instead of sugar in your coffee or do something you normally do on autopilot, but somehow you short circuit.

Today I was getting ready to do an interview and I was rushing around. It was done on video so I had to make sense of my hair. I had already gotten toothpaste dripped on it and a few pieces of tomato while I ate my breakfast. I should wear a hair net! And not the toothpaste was before breakfast.

I decided to straighten it versus curl it which was my original plan because I was going to run out of time and have one side pretty hair and one side crazy hair. I slapped on some makeup which I can do in under five minutes…and I look in the mirror and realize I forgot eyeliner. I skipped eyeliner and went right to mascara. I ALWAYS line my upper lash line before mascara. Now I’m not afraid to be seen without makeup, but I love black eyeliner. Some may think it’s dark like goth, but I see old Hollywood. It’s part of my look. I corrected my mistake.

I am doing a lot lately. I’ve been working on myself, redesigning my business, and ya know…five kids and life. When things get out of alignment, I feel it. I could manage my time better, cause who couldn’t, but it’s my soul talking to me. What I need is a cup of me.

Imagine setting up a date with yourself like you would with a romantic interest or your BFF. You would really treat that time as special. Whether you dressed up and went out or stayed in, all cozy in pj’s, you’d treat it like almost a holiday for the heart.  What if you did this with yourself?

Would you get a mani/pedi, get takeout and sit by the fire, eat munchies and catch up on shows, sipping on a glass of wine in your bubble bath, or sit with your journal and a cup of tea.  Some of these you might already do, but this is about treating it as sacred.  My girlfriend, Kelly Barton, who is an amazing artist who did art for my website and I’ll soon be wearing some of her baubles, calls it the sacred life.  She’s one of those people I fell in love with their soul just by seeing life through their Instagram.  She uses the hashtags that you actually feel like #sacredlife.  Treating life like it’s sacred is what it’s all about.  That is what I see as being present.  I’m going to schedule a date with myself.  Not like a to-do, but  a I-love-to list.  Don’t you love getting a new journal?  I hope someone gets me one for Christmas.  I can never have to many.  Kelly sells ones with writing on them via etsy.com and I think I’ll send Santa in her direction.  I think I need a custom journal with “Jennylicious” written on the cover.  As for tea, my fave lately is Celestial Seasonings Cinnamon Apple tea.  I’m in need of a cup of tea and me.  That makes my heart smile.

I’d love to hear what your favorite tea is and what you will do on your date with you.  Please tell me!

Approval Patrol

posted by jperry

I was driving down that road and saw a billboard that said “Approval Patrol” on a picture of a few people looking very serious.  It was a funny thought I had, thinking of how we sometimes live like there actually is an official Approval Patrol.

Every day we do wonder what others will think of many different subjects of us.  We all want to fit in, belong, be loved, accepted, understood, and approved of.  I’m now picturing my favorite show Project Runway.  Right now the Project Runway: All Stars is airing and I love Georgina Chapman, one of the judges on there.  She’s one of the designers of Marchesa, the fashion label with dreamy gowns you see on the red carpet of the award shows.  She is so goddess.  She makes me want to die my hair back to my natural dark brown color and become British.  She is so cool, that even when she doesn’t like a design, she says it with class and like it’s wrapped up in a compliment.  I imagine my Approval Patrol, or committee, or panel of judges would have a perfect beauty like her on it.  That stellar lady on the Approval Patrol would always look impeccably dressed and sport the latest styles, but her children would be getting trophies and never say bad words.

I used to LIVE for the approval of others.  It often takes us at least to our 30’s to realize that committee of folks we are seeking a gold star from will never all agree on our rightness or our value.  Other people’s opinions will always vary and especially about us, often dependent on whether we are doing things for them or following the way of living that they do.  Like they say things are in “the court of public opinion,” well there’s such a thing as “prison of public opinion.”  And often the people we cared who approved of us in our 20’s aren’t around for our 30’s anyway.

How would life be different of we truly didn’t care what others thought.  That is total freedom.  Just think of all the possibilities for our lives if there were no opinions?  Would we paint?  Would we sing on stage?  Would we write books?  What would we wear?  What would we say?  What would we say?  Who would we be without the opinion of others?  What would we drive?  How would we decorate out homes?  Would we all have houses all crazy cool colors?  How many pink houses would there be?  How often would we dance?  Would people dance at weddings without needing any booze to allow them to let go of inhibitions?  Would people wear costumes like just on a random day, not just Halloween, but like every day was like a parade.  Sounds like heaven to me.  Freedom and costumes are the best.  No matter what we’d do, all that mattered is that we felt good about it and not how it looked to others or was perceived.  There are actually people who live like that.

Next time you go to make a decision, think about what factors you are using to figure it out.  Are other people’s opinions being hypothesized or used in the equation?  What if you just made a choice based on your own intuition?  Hmm…what a concept?

The Approval Patrol will just find someone else.  They always do.

“I didn’t come here to make friends”

posted by jperry

That saying we’ve heard before. The idea that we’re in it for ourselves and shouldn’t befriend people we see as competition or that we don’t have anything to gain from. That looking straight ahead at a goal mentality that I admired in the go-getter vibe that successful people seemed to have. This 100% never worked for me.

It’s actually a foreign concept to me because I tend to make friends wherever I go.  I’m friendly and can make chit-chat with anyone.  But that can drain me after a while.  Those weather conversations get stale and I start to feel on-dimensional.  I’m not a meteorologist.  I’m a joyist. I want to hear about your dreams, how you fell in love, what your greatest lesson, and what brings you bliss.

I do see how for some the idea of making friends in a learning situation or when they are in a class is not as feasible.  They can’t do both.  I can.  What I did in my twenties though is I thought being liked was currency.  I thought that currency added up to self-worth.  If they saw my value, I mattered. I had a greater value when acknowledged for being nice, fun, likeable, helpful, friendly, and non-threatening.  That got old.  That put me in a box.  That limited me.  Not that I’m a menacing creature now, by the twenties me would have felt threatened by the thirty-seven year old sasspot I am now. I would like her, but I wouldn’t always understand her.

That tenaciousness of the gal I am now would be off putting at times to the old me, if I was feeling down or small.  I fell for the competition chick mindset where I’d compare myself to other ladies back then.  I was looking to make friends always.  To belong and fit in seemed like the goal.  That lil’ insecure middle school dork with frizzy hair, braces for my overbite with a gap between my front teeth, and freckles was always wondering when and if I’d feel okay.  I felt normal at times, crazy at times, cool for moments, and lots of not knowing what I would be when I grew up.  Not just in a job sense, but in a being sense as well.  Life always seemed to be easy for those chicas I wanted to be like and/or befriend.

I still have some friends I’ve had for a long time, but many friendships shifted since then.  Our vibes didn’t match any more.  I became my own best friend in the process.  I stopped seeking others to fill me up or to fix.  Co-dependency is not for the fierce.  I rose past that and wanted to take responsibility for my life and my feelings/vibes/emotions.  I still get my feelings hurt occasionally (this used to be daily) and I do want people to be different sometimes and then I remember I’m only in charge of me.  So I did come here to make friends, as in Earth, but I would never sacrifice my own happiness or growth to be friends with anyone ever.  I don’t play small for others or want them to do so for me.  Toot your horn and I’ll ne cheering.  If someone makes me feel bad, my energy makes me take note. If I feel like they’re jealous in some way, I feel intimidated about some aspect they embody, or they don’t seem make time for me, then it’s feedback for me.  It’s nothing personal and yet it’s all about me.  I check myself.  No blame game or victim here.  I always have the power to decide what I want and not project drama or look for validation outside myself for worth or even my own limitations.  I steer my ship.   I’m the captain.  I wear the cute hat.

I create awesome experiences and some friends will not be lifers, they are moments people.  That’s okay.  Nothing wrong.  The good energy you put out to other, whether they receive, acknowledge, or appreciate it will be returned back to you in some way.  Don’t worry worry where it will come from.  Be a good friend, but be your best you above all else..

Felt like a hug in the form of words

posted by jperry

Happy All Saints Day, folks!  I had to share something I wrote on Facebook the other day.  When I write in the flow like this, it’s is the best feeling in the world.  Sometimes I write my fierce truth.  Sometimes I let the Divine flow though me.  This was a combo deal.  I can feel it as I reread it.  It is love in the form of heavenly words.  May you all know how loved you truly are by your Creator, God, Infinite Universe, Source of all that is.  Whatever form speaks to your soul as unconditional love is your path to holy and sacred for you.  Namaste.  Blessings to all…

When there is a hidden part of you, no matter how minuscule, that does not love you fully or believe in you, your worth, your beauty, your awesomeness, when others reject you, it shines a light on that. Whether someone you even don’t even care about their opinion says you are not good enough or they don’t believe in your dreams-skills-talents-magic-madness, that tiny speck of attention grows in value as its flashlight shines in that little crack in your facade, which feels like a spotlight the size of the sun. The beauty is, and really take this in, this heals you. You want this. Without the stretch, the grasp, the reach past that discomfort that makes you want to run and hide, you would never grow out of it to let your starlight shine. You have a choice.

Always, your soul is ready to hold your hand as you cry and wonder why, accusing the heavens of cursing you when God is just smiling away saying…“Honey pie, hold on, you got this, your training wheels are off now. The winds have picked up and that breeze is going to help you coast. Just peddle up that hill. Take in the view and trust yourself. I love you. You are amazing. You are just about to see it. Your fire is rising. That anger in your belly towards those haters in life and to yourself for not being enough in your own eyes, is burning your blocks, karma, and whatever you think holds you back. No one is holding you back. The brake is not on. Just trust you won’t fall. Deep breaths and feel your center. I’m always here, right there where you lay your hand on your chest. Behind your heart, I dwell. Well, really, I’m everywhere, that cosmic spark of Divine is who you are and you just forgot. Place your hand there and you will remember. You are greatness. You are holy. You are special. You are sacred. You will never not have my love and support. You’re safe. Embody that glory, grace, the epic awesome that I am, that you are. Don’t worry how anything looks, you can never be diminished. You are never broken, you are always whole. You need not earn me. I am always proud. Fill up on this and carry on, sweet child.”

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