Sassy Spirit

Sassy Spirit

What has your attention?

posted by jperry

Are you wasting time on things that don’t really matter in your life? Here are some traps:

Internet browsing is the time sucker that makes us waste a lot of time looking up dumb stuff we really don’t need to know. Maybe some of it do want to know, but do we really retain it or do we get bombarded with info and then get confused? Is there a focus there?  Could you put your phone down more often and not need to figure out the answer to a random fact right that very minute?

Being too involved in other people’s lives is pointless to our soul.  This doesn’t mean you don’t help others. With my coaching, I make other people’s lives my business when they let me in and ask for advice. But I don’t like to gossip, concern myself with how others live, judge their way versus mine, or be a know-it-all. I know a lot but then again, I’m always learning and if we’re not open to wisdom which comes from many channels and people, we do not grow.  If we focus on others, it can be a distraction from our own stuff we need to work on.

Combine those together and we can be measuring ourselves up to someone else’s social media world.  In reality, there are many versions of us, no matter how you slice it.  We are a work self, mommy/daddy self, best foot forward self, having a bad day self, and more.  Is one of us more real?  Nope. they are all of us.  Do NOT look at a picture of anyone’s life, business, or body and envy it.  Being jealous sucks your life force and does nothing but make you feel bad.  It can shift into needing to tear them down or think they’re phony in a way to build our energy back up.  Think of it as a video game character who is losing power and has to collect coins to build it back up.  Yes, I’m of the old Nintendo from back in the day with Super Mario Brothers. You will only build your life force from within.  Focus on you.  Do the soul stuff.

Talking about what isn’t working, complaining, looking at your faults, past mistakes, regrets, the roadblocks?  Have you ever heard the quote by Albert Einstein, “No problem can be solved at the same level of consciousness that created it.”  Is anyone else as guilty of this that I am?  I have been zapped by this with my kids.  The three in the middle, the boys, can be insane together. Think the Three Musketeers only the Trio of Madness, Chaos, and Messes.  Or maybe Fighting, Crying, and Laughing would be their names.  As many watch referees on TV when the football games are on, they could just come on over here as see me give time-outs and try to keep my sanity. Those refs go home and I can’t escape my job.  I am making an effort to shift this bad habit I’ve gotten back into.  I need to schedule in “me” time for sure.

Worrying is the last one I’ll list today, cause they are more, but these jumped out at me today.  With illnesses, wars, and fear-mongers, you can want to build a bunker and live in survival mode.  Will this give you the life you want to lead?  No way, Jose.  It’s impossible. You can be smart, eat healthy, pray/meditate/set intentions, and then you just gotta live.  Today is what you have.  That is all you have.  Make the very best of the precious gem of the present.

Ripping off the Band-Aid.

posted by jperry

I don’t know how many people follow this blog or my journey, but I always try to be honest and authentic.  I have big dreams, but one is not to be a guru.  I think a teacher doesn’t have to be perfect and my writing sure has more wisdom when there are lessons of mine in there and not just know-it-all-ness or do-this-or-else-you-die baloney.  I’ve been on and of with self-help, spirituality, self-empowerment and “woo woo” for almost eighteen years. When my oldest was born I learned about chakras from a PBS special with Caroline Myss and she blew open my mind just by making me re-think Catholicism and the parallels of other religions. I wasn’t sure what I actually believed once I had to think what I’d teach my little one.   At 21, starting yoga (yes, I started because Madonna was doing it and I’m not ashamed).  Giggling cause it’s the truth.  Now at 37, I’ve reached an awakening, crossroads, plateau…I’m not sure what the heck it is but it’s scary, uncomfortable, new, refreshing, and I’ve felt like a mess and a loser for moments of it.  I know I can always shift through it. I am uber-grateful for this and I’m excited to see what I’ll create in my life now that I’m getting out of my way.  Just when I reach a comfort zone, my soul stretches out and yearns to become more unlimited.  I have explored the ideas of an infinite Universe, manifesting, consciousness, and the Law of Attraction. Currently I’m working with an amazing coach, Marci Lock, and my world is rocked again.  Oh, it’s like a Universe earthquake.  She is beyond words, a firecracker-fierce badass-love machine-spirit warrior-soul sister just to name a few.

Working on my mindset means my brain is like scrambled eggs. Interesting to feel small and vulnerable again in this learning phase and yet know that I know a lot of epic shit…it’s time to implement and fully step into the rockstar me for good in all situations. Self-empowerment badasses know crying, overwhelm, getting your feelings hurt, anger, emotions, and feelings are not to be judged. They are part of the growth process. The ones afraid and not brave enough to walk through their BS, the ones unwilling to work on their “stuff” and blame others, circumstances, life, and their victim/martyr story will miss out on the gem of life. Moments of rawness that take you back to childhood are the way of the spiritual warrior at times.

Picture the scene of a home being renovated where people walking by wonder why they didn’t just tear it down, but the owners knew it just needed to firm up the structure with stronger materials and then they’ll add all the fancy upgrades. Nothing wrong with the old house, it was just built on material and “stuff” that is no longer working for the owners. Yep, that is what taking courses, doing masterminds, getting into the meat-juice-heart of your being. I am an even greater writer, coach, speaker and Goddess rockstar when I get real, learn more and apply it, take my mindset to the next level, uplevel my life really, and look at my limitations I had hiding in my subconscious (like the attic needed MAJ-OR renovations cause there were cobwebs and old boxes and such). I’m a metaphor girl. I had to share my process with you all, cause the journey is crazy, cool, wonderful, and amazing.

Ask yourself what you want and W-O-W-S-A…you can sure see what ya don’t. It’s a blessing. Trust that.

Ask yourself where you’re full of BS…and the Universe will show you.

Sometimes you have to rip the Band-Aid off to give the wound air to heal.

When your glass is looking empty-ish

posted by jperry

I’m a glass a half full girl. But even positive people can fall into slumps or need to remind themselves of what they know. I’m currently taking a doing course on mindset among other things.  I’ll share the details when it’s over. I’ve cut out added sugar and my beloved wine. Chocolate, I will see you soon. I’m doing it for thirty days. Getting rid of my mood enhancers has made me angry. Seeing anger arise in me is difficult and shows me how shame can feel again. I don’t like that version of me.

It’s the layers of the onion thing again and I am seeing the root of my anger, asking myself what I want. Where do I feel powerless that I need to assert my power? Where do I still need to work on? Where do parts of my shadow need to come to light in order to heal, rather than live in my subconscious?

This self-examination can make me feel vulnerable when I sure as hell prefer confidence. Asking myself…am I doing enough to make my dreams come true? Am I doing enough in business? Have I trusted the right people in business? I’ve made that mistake before. I’m too trusting and I’ll always be.

Being angry with my kids can make me feel like a terrible person.  It can be a trap I fall into that tells me I’ve learned nothing.  (Totally not true, I know.)

I want to keep the peace, yes, but I want to control them.  Just being honest.  It’s easier when they are nice.  Crazy is normal for kids, I know!  I’m not appreciating them when I’m refereeing.   I don’t want to be a drill sergeant or a door mat, but the middle ground is a wide open gray area.  Gotta find your own way with it and what works.  Working at home calls for me to be organized, scheduled, and go with the flow at the same time (cause baby don’t care about business).  I realize I’ve been focusing on the negative…cause they’ve been bad!  LOL!  But seriously, they play, fight, cry, yell and repeat.  It’s my middle kids, the boys, who challenge my patience immensely.  My seven year old and four year old are like a circus-zoo-carnival-frat house-loony bin-fight club sometimes.  My thirteen year old can be the ringer leader at times.  My oldest is driving now and she’s glad to escape the madness and I don’t blame her.  It would be so great to hit pause and regroup.  Add to the hysteria at times is a teething, nine month old baby who needs my attention.  My nerves can be frayed as I try to be fair and firm, and it comes out like crazy because I’m reacting.  Do I know better?  Sure, but in the moment, I’m human.  Enough with the “woe is me” drama, you get the picture.  As I’m typing this it’s Sunday night, the baby feel asleep too early and she’ll wake up now wanting to stay up until elven o’clock.  Maybe not?  It’s that “me time” I’m fantasizing about at night with my glass of wine, but it’s a cop-out.  I can choose peace. I can choose to look at the glass half full.  My kids are healthy.  I’ll find a way to make things more peaceful.  I’ll be peaceful.  I’ll meditate on peace.

I’ll finish my class for my homework and map out the week for my highest good.  I will focus on enjoying life.  I will make a cup of tea and make time to just be even for just a moment.  I’ll count my blessings. I will focus on what I want versus what I don’t want.  I will focus on the good.

Who intimidates you?

posted by jperry

In the past year I’ve met, or been in contact with, a few women who intimidated me. It doesn’t happen often. It awakens my inner dork from childhood. It’s an uncomfortable feeling where I don’t feel like myself and brings up old triggers. It never lasts for more than a few minutes where I slap myself back into reality like a splash of cold water.

You know when you meet someone who has that “it” factor, that magic, that special somethin’ that makes them seem like a rockstar even if they’re actually not. You can see them really going places in the world or even just possessing a lot of wisdom and knowledge. They’re like the cool kid. You can imagine people wanting to flock to be in their presence, just to be in their glow. That sparkle, inner fire, that mojo can throw us off, if we’re not feeling it within ourselves. It’s a huge lesson to re-center within.

A friend of mine was once looking to become a teacher and when she was going to classes herself on the same subject.  She wanted to give up becoming a teacher, because her teacher was so good and she naturally compared herself. It’s like girl instinct. If it happens, you don’t have to panic. You see what you are feeling so you can change it. Look at that person you’re comparing yourself too and thank them in your mind for teaching you. Send them a silent blessing.

Look at what’s awesome about them and then look within and see why you rock as well. If it seems weird and you feel small now, just send yourself some love.  If you’re new to self-love, it can send you in a tailspin at first, but know it’s a gift, there’s juice to squeeze out of it.  If you were loving yourself fully, you would still see that Queen Bee as a rad chick with all her greatness…but it wouldn’t make you feel like you shrunk.  Your brilliance can never go away.  Your essence is your magic. No matter how big of a star in their world, your world, or the world, someone else is…it’s not like the sun where it will cast a shadow that you’ll get lost in.  This is not TV or middle school, we don’t have side kicks.  You are the main character in your life. Competition and comparisons depletes our life force energy.  It’s okay to acknowledge when thoughts and feelings arise and then you must make a commitment to look within, rather than needing to shrink others to make you feel better.

In my twenties and early thirties, if I met a dazzling, dynamic darling that intimidated me, or evoked, triggered, or made me question my own worth at all, I had a few things I’d do.  I’d either want to instantly become BFF’s with them hoping their shiny rubbed off on me, talk badly about them behind their back, or distance myself from them and pretend they didn’t exist, so I could feel better.  Sounds terrible, but it’s true. I own who I was. You see, I was looking to feel better in those ways, as coping mechanisms to deal with my emotions when they arose. It didn’t dawn on me, until I decided to take responsibility for my happiness, that it had nothing to do with the other person.  It also came from a flawed logic that there was only so much good stuff to go around. There was only enough beauty, coolness, love, magic, abundance, attention, and “it” factor for some and I might not get mine if that diamond girl had it.  She could never have my share.  I live in an infinite Universe.  Thank goodness I know that now.

When you play a bigger game in business and in life, you’ll encounter people further along than you, and/or who know more, and it’s a blessing.  They are your mentors, teachers, supporters, cheerleaders, and not the enemy. We can all thrive. If there is something within another that you admire, you see that Light emanating from within them and you want to “be” like them…the potential dwells within you. This is a given. Or else you wouldn’t feel that tug at you, that desire, that yearning to feel more of that. You could poll other people to find out that they do not want to be like, nor admire the person, and in no way are intimidated by them.  It’s just you. Sometimes it’s sheer confidence, that badass nature in some, where you just want walk that proud, workin’ it every day. You can. The fact that you can recognize that it’s what you want for yourself, rather than actually having anything to do with the goddess you’re intimidated by, is what sets you free.  You are free to be the most fantastic, truest, fullest, deepest, most spectacular version of you EVER. You are a miracle. God created the unique cosmic spark that you are as YOU, not her.  Keep looking to create more of your own magic and don’t worry about what anyone else is doing.  Cultivate your specialness. It’s what sets you apart. You rock,  Seriously, you do.

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