Sassy Spirit

To truly love others unconditionally, we have to love ourselves first. When we do, we look for partners who love, honor, and respect that. If you are looking for a partner or looking to improve your current relationship, look within. Maybe your partner sees the greatness in you and you’ve forgotten it or haven’t found yet. Good news is no matter what age you, you can practice self-love…which leads to happiness and better relationships.

What is self-love? Is it ego-driven?

Nope. You are a cosmic spark of your Divine Creator. You’re magic. You are meant to cherish your body-mind-spirit as a gift. Hating yourself is not holy. What I teach in my book Sexpot With Stretch Marks is self-love day and night and to question what you’ve been told about your beauty and worth.  A lot of women are concerned with their weight or some external aspect of them being a deterrent in the dating world.  Well, if that guy is not going to like you because your figure isn’t perfect, he doesn’t deserve you.  Plus, there are body dominant people and then there are mind dominant people who see past looks and go for how intelligent and witty the other person is.  We don’t have to judge them as being shallow.  It’s just there preference.  I teach in my book and to my private clients that your mojo, that magic that is just you is not a type.  You can be overweight, older, and not as attractive by society standards and have the it factor.  It’s like a bright spirit.  An energy that is full and magnetic.  I’ve seen thin, wallflower types who were young and beautiful but didn’t own their mojo.

How to increase your Mojo is about self-love.  It’s how your talk to yourself.  Yes, there are some in the world who know how to put on a good show with their mojo because they are an entertainer, but they really don’t love themselves.  I’m talking about loving yourself with no make-up, wearing your pj’s, with a fever…just like I am right now.  I own my mojo as a way of living.  I taught myself this.  It starts by asking:

“If I loved myself, would I….”

This goes for how you live, eat, and breathe.  It’s not about being perfect or a goody two shoes.  I’m certainly neither, nor do I strive to be.  I aim to be the best version of myself in every moment. Sometimes that doesn’t look very pretty.  When my kids are acting up and I yell, I get all fired up and justified on why I’m right.  What I’ve learned is I can’t hold a grudge or stay mad because I love myself too much for that.  I like to feel good.  Being mad means I have to feel disconnected from love.  That feels lousy.  I say sorry because it feels good to clear the air.  I pray for others and wish them good things, not because I think God will love me more.  God loves me so much and that is a given, cause God is love.  I am kind as much as I can because I love myself and it feels good to be kind.

Look at your patterns and habits and see if they serve you or not?  Could you think a little differently.  Could you choose this month to make one change in the self-love department. Why not try it?

This week was partially a fog.

On Monday, my teenage son had ingrown toenail surgery on both big toes. Afterwards I did blizzard prep shopping as we were expecting almost a foot and a half of snow starting Tuesday.  They cancelled school and closed the restaurant my husband works at for the day…actually the day before the storm that never happened. I’m not complaining. I’m over snow. I like winter clothes, but I hate being cold. I had client sessions. Hubby got a new tattoo. (Still needs work on it.) My youngest son had a fever and tested positive for the flu. Middle son had gotten over being sick. Then baby had a fever but tested negative for the flu. This morning my oldest son tested positive for the flu and has a fever. So four out of five kids have been sick this week. Life coaches may have great tools, but life happens to them too. I resisted reality a few times in worry as a mom. I had to center in trust a few times very intensely.

It’s the times when you just want to wish away the day. When the kids are fighting or sick, I wish I could fast forward. Times of fun, I wish I could pause.  There was even more craziest in the week, but you get the point.  It wasn’t the best on in our history. But it wasn’t the worst.  My brain is a little mushy now and I’m taking some R & R.  I don’t really know what that means but I’m being slower and more peaceful.  I will make sure I have fun at some point today though.  Hey, at least I showered.

I started writing because it was fun. I started coaching because it was fun.  These are two things I can do in my sleep.  I love fulfilling my purpose.  But when MomWorld gets intense, you must do minimal to conserve energy.  I don’t need to do everything…or even perfect or right.  Some people may have perfect lives, but I don’t know if that’s real and with five kids is possible.  My kids all have big personalities.  Wonder where they get that from?

As the baby finally naps on my lap, I finish this blog and ask…
“What do I want to create?”

Setting intentions for a peaceful evening with my kids.  I want to be more present with them than I have been before.  When there is sickness that rolls through the family, you cherish health.  I will have even more gratitude for all of my blessings.  I could complain about a lot of other things that happened this week that were inconvenient, stressful, annoying, and not what I wanted.   What would that do?  A victim has no power.  A goddess always has power.  She thinks of solutions, possibilities, silver linings, and hot the Universe has always got her back.

No matter kind of week you had, no mater what is going on, stop…
Regroup only after you let go.

Deep breath.
Release the tension and the questions.

Breathe in God and the answers.
Exhale whatever no longer serves you.

Blessings to all.

It’s Sunday afternoon here in New Jersey. Yesterday it was raining and the temps are in the 30’s. Today is a freakish 50 degrees.  Tomorrow night they are calling for a blizzard.  Snow days make kids crazy!  At least here they do. Is it Spring yet?  Not even close.

It’s the end of January, which means we still gave few months until Spring. Thank God for Valentine’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day for something to celebrate.  I’m a sunshine and beach girl who would rather live somewhere warm and know I will end up there at some point.  What I like about Winter is Christmas, the boots, my kids’ birthdays (3 out of 4 are winter babies), velvet, cool coats, and hearty foods.  I am a make the best of it girl.  Sitting by the fireplace and drink a cup of hot tea is the remedy.

Wishing for things to be different is good for dream manifesting, goal setting, vision board type stuff.  But accepting what is, the present moment is key.  As a parent, I have lots of pooping in the pants, tantrum throwing, messy moments and most of the time this is my children doing this luckily and not me.  But I’m human, so yes I have thrown a tantrum.  Mom tantrums, or meltdowns, I bet are more frequent in the winter when kids are stuck inside or schedules are action-packed.  But then again, in the summer the kids get bored and naturally get on each others nerves and mine.  I still take that warm weather and the freedom of a schedule over cold and windy days.

Maybe I am secretly a Southern California girl anyway.  I love the vibe and the food for sure.  People say you wouldn’t appreciate the Spring as much without the Winter.  I think sometimes they say that to make themselves feel better.  At least I have when I’ve said it.  I wonder if that’s like in life.  If you didn’t have those not so fun moments with your kids, would you appreciate the happy, sunny moments as much?

My winter feel good tips are:
1. Get out in nature or at least take drive on sunny days.  Sit by a window and let the sun bathe you.
2. Music is a healer.  Listen daily.
3. Exercise daily to keep that good energy flowing.
4. Meditate and journal.  Light a candle and set intentions, say a prayer or blessing.
5. Hug someone or something (like pet).  Human touch is sacred and creates good hormones.

My mantra is:  Every day is a bright day as I choose it.

Blessings to all.  Let’s envision sunshine and be a Light in the world.

Yesterday I didn’t get to post because I was trying to referee all day with my kids stuck in the house.  It’s Winter in New Jersey. This includes wind and a lot of inside time where I reflect on a lot.  I wanted to touch on two things today. One of which was the great man, Martin Luther King, we celebrated yesterday.  The second is forgiveness.

Martin Luther King taught us all to believe in our dreams. That one person can change the world. That the whole business of racism was and will always be insane. That we should not judge others by the color of their skin or anything but the content of their character. Equality in every way is higher consciousness. If we feel the need to put others down of another group, causing us versus them mentality, therefore separating ourselves from “them,” it is OUR problem. Thinking we elevate ourselves by looking down on others only separates us from our own Divine Source. To be enlightened is to walk in the Light, which means you look for the Light in others and know that souls are not a color. Love hearts and rise above the media which is only skin deep.

This concept of forgiveness is misunderstood.  Forgiveness is not about being weak, a doormat or pushover. The seeming to let things go easily when it’s just stifling emotions and resentment is different. It’s people pleaser behavior that is in the mind.

Truly detaching from the energy of a person, place, or thing, rising about it literally into a higher realm of understanding is true forgiveness of the soul. It’s not about being nice, it’s about being free. It could almost be looked at as selfish, to just want to feel good and not be weighed down, to just feel one with the Divine.

This is powerful warrior level, only it’s not hard edged, but rather softer and always just as strong. It’s resilient and flexible like a the trees that sway in epic storms, that peaceful goddess embodiment vibe. It’s badass. It’s beautiful. It’s living beyond blame and rather in one’s own truth.

Prayers to all this morning. A lot of struggles I see and feel you are going through. Know that you are all Divinely loved and supported. Take it in. Nothing to earn it. The love is from Spirit and is always there if you are willing and open to see it. Be a Love Light whenever you can. Kindness, forgiveness, and compassion are strengths of the soul for the truly brave. Namaste and blessings.