Sassy Spirit

Sassy Spirit

Work or Play?

posted by jperry

Is it possible to feel like what your job actually feels like play?

Growing up, I didn’t know that was possible, but jobs look glamorous through a child’s eyes.  I thought my parents’ jobs looked cool.  They looked really fun.  My dad was a bartender.  That soda gun with different flavor was power, baby.  He had limitless maraschino cherries, lemons, olives and….SODA!!!  I loved eating olives and still do.  Only now in my martinis.  Back then, I wanted bottomless Shirley Temples. Those pink drinks I’d raise my glass for a refill as often as I was allowed.  All the waitresses were older and very loving in the Italian restaurant in Center City Philadelphia.  I even loved the coat check lady, Diane.  They made such a fuss over me and my little sister.  I loved getting dressed up and going out to restaurants.  Who doesn’t?

My mom also worked in Center City Philadelphia.  She was a manager at Bell Atlantic, the telephone company.  She was a boss.  She was a pioneer in my mind for being strong and smart, while still being kind and a woman.  She wore the power suits in the eighties and I idolized her.  And I always will.  She would let us visit her work and spend some time there which was so magical.  Going up on the elevator to the higher floors was like being on a TV show in my pre-internet mind, I-just-play-in-my-Barbies mind.  Sitting at her desk and looking down below to the street where cars looked so small made me feel like a giant.  As we walked the hall (little kids are not very common in office buildings) people treated us like we were celebrities.  Plus, we were cute.  I have to say the highlight though was the office supply room.  I’ll take some pens please.  Black, blue, and yes colored paper clips are the jackpot.  The BEST part was using the copy machine to photocopy my hand.  It seemed like a dream job.

I would play teacher often as a kid and I’d always change my name.  I thought I’d marry Michael Jackson eventually.  My Barbie playing always included fashion, friends, and being in love.  I lived in a world of play as a child and had a great imagination and people skills.  I thought I’d be a star, cause doesn’t every kid think they’re special.  Some things never change, except the Michael Jackson part.  I don’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I always knew I’d be a mom.  Never thought I’d have five kids though.

Fast forward to picking a career.  I tried psychology for a semester in college and then Culinary school.  I got pregnant at nineteen and was a cook, hostess, and waitress.  I set up make-up at a drugstore.  I sold home goods.  I stayed at home with the kids and didn’t know what my career would be or if I’d be anything beyond a stay-at-home mom.  I decided I wanted to write.  But didn’t think of it as anything but play.  It was a hobby.  I didn’t think I was smart enough to be an actual writer.

I wrote because it was fulfilling me.  It was also an escape from the same day syndrome of cleaning, dishes, laundry, school pick up, talk about the weather.  Writing my novel opened up a world to me.  Once that door opened in my mind, writing fiction lead me to writing blogs.  I gave author talks and realized I could actually teach what I’ve learned.  Being open to play and not being afraid to work means the world is my oyster.  I’ve taken my writings and saw they belonged in a few books…which are to come.  My first non-fiction book will be coming out January 8th and I am getting more excited by the day.  I love inspiring, uplifting, and empowering others.  I am going to be able to work and play my whole life.  Writing is both.  What about you?  What can you do that is both work and play?

These are the days of our lives

posted by jperry

I remember watching this soap back in the 80’s and loved that there was a character named Jennifer. I also remember Kim Delaney being on All My Children, playing a character named Jenny. I loved being home from school to catch all the good TV. From game shows to talk shows and my soaps I watched from 12:30-4:00 on ABC and then the Oprah Winfrey show would come on. If we did have DVR back then, I maybe would have never left my room. I was a TV lover. Now, I’m so picky. I am on the internet a lot though and can waste a lot of time when I research something. I fall down the rabbit hole of google and time flies.

The difference is that I get to control what I search, versus watching a soap that pulled you into drama. I will admit to watching the Real Houewives, but I am not a drama junkie. I used to be. I am a peace seeker now…

Oh, the glamorous life…I was trying to finish this blog yesterday, but the baby threw up and life got crazy.  When a kid is sick, we stop everything.  She’s fine today.  Thank God.

I’m designing a program and working on the finishing touches for my book  Sexpot With Stretch Marks to come out January 8th, and doing a bazillion other things while raising five kids.  As a work at home as blogger/writer/entrepreneur and more, I am 24/7.  Lesson here is we must have time to play.  I don’t know what the point I was going to make yesterday except to cherish all of the days of our lives.  I have the busy disease and need to learn to not volunteer to do things or to say no more often…or yes to only the right things.  Good news is the holidays force me to focus on the important things with the kids and make lots of memories.  As I was typing this, I had to stop, throw on my referee jersey because my seven year came into the room crying because my four year old bit him for changing the channel.  Sometimes I live in chaos, so I do cherish the yummy, holiday moments as well as the everyday hugs and smiles, of course.  I make life look easy at times in blogging and on social media I suppose, because I focus on the positive when I am writing.  It’s hard to do all the things I do sometimes.  Scheduling in some special family time and some special me time this week.

Maybe we will talk about adding another family tradition this year to the Holiday season, which will be from Thanksgiving until the kids go back after Christmas break.  My eighteenth wedding anniversary is on January 4th and my book come about the 8th.  2015 is gonna rock!  Going to not set resolutions but something like blisslutions.  Maybe bliss will be the theme of the whole new year.  Makes me think of Edie Weinstein, my fellow Beliefnet blogger.  Check out her blog, The Bliss Blog.  We all need those reminders to follow your bliss.

As Joseph Campbell said:
Follow your bliss.
If you do follow your bliss,
you put yourself on a kind of track
that has been there all the while waiting for you,
and the life you ought to be living
is the one you are living.
When you can see that,
you begin to meet people
who are in the field of your bliss,
and they open the doors to you.
I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid,
and doors will open
where you didn’t know they were going to be.
If you follow your bliss,
doors will open for you that wouldn’t have opened for anyone else.”

All the days of our lives…we should follow our bliss.

Cup of Me

posted by jperry

Did you ever get so busy you put salt instead of sugar in your coffee or do something you normally do on autopilot, but somehow you short circuit.

Today I was getting ready to do an interview and I was rushing around. It was done on video so I had to make sense of my hair. I had already gotten toothpaste dripped on it and a few pieces of tomato while I ate my breakfast. I should wear a hair net! And not the toothpaste was before breakfast.

I decided to straighten it versus curl it which was my original plan because I was going to run out of time and have one side pretty hair and one side crazy hair. I slapped on some makeup which I can do in under five minutes…and I look in the mirror and realize I forgot eyeliner. I skipped eyeliner and went right to mascara. I ALWAYS line my upper lash line before mascara. Now I’m not afraid to be seen without makeup, but I love black eyeliner. Some may think it’s dark like goth, but I see old Hollywood. It’s part of my look. I corrected my mistake.

I am doing a lot lately. I’ve been working on myself, redesigning my business, and ya know…five kids and life. When things get out of alignment, I feel it. I could manage my time better, cause who couldn’t, but it’s my soul talking to me. What I need is a cup of me.

Imagine setting up a date with yourself like you would with a romantic interest or your BFF. You would really treat that time as special. Whether you dressed up and went out or stayed in, all cozy in pj’s, you’d treat it like almost a holiday for the heart.  What if you did this with yourself?

Would you get a mani/pedi, get takeout and sit by the fire, eat munchies and catch up on shows, sipping on a glass of wine in your bubble bath, or sit with your journal and a cup of tea.  Some of these you might already do, but this is about treating it as sacred.  My girlfriend, Kelly Barton, who is an amazing artist who did art for my website and I’ll soon be wearing some of her baubles, calls it the sacred life.  She’s one of those people I fell in love with their soul just by seeing life through their Instagram.  She uses the hashtags that you actually feel like #sacredlife.  Treating life like it’s sacred is what it’s all about.  That is what I see as being present.  I’m going to schedule a date with myself.  Not like a to-do, but  a I-love-to list.  Don’t you love getting a new journal?  I hope someone gets me one for Christmas.  I can never have to many.  Kelly sells ones with writing on them via etsy.com and I think I’ll send Santa in her direction.  I think I need a custom journal with “Jennylicious” written on the cover.  As for tea, my fave lately is Celestial Seasonings Cinnamon Apple tea.  I’m in need of a cup of tea and me.  That makes my heart smile.

I’d love to hear what your favorite tea is and what you will do on your date with you.  Please tell me!

Approval Patrol

posted by jperry

I was driving down that road and saw a billboard that said “Approval Patrol” on a picture of a few people looking very serious.  It was a funny thought I had, thinking of how we sometimes live like there actually is an official Approval Patrol.

Every day we do wonder what others will think of many different subjects of us.  We all want to fit in, belong, be loved, accepted, understood, and approved of.  I’m now picturing my favorite show Project Runway.  Right now the Project Runway: All Stars is airing and I love Georgina Chapman, one of the judges on there.  She’s one of the designers of Marchesa, the fashion label with dreamy gowns you see on the red carpet of the award shows.  She is so goddess.  She makes me want to die my hair back to my natural dark brown color and become British.  She is so cool, that even when she doesn’t like a design, she says it with class and like it’s wrapped up in a compliment.  I imagine my Approval Patrol, or committee, or panel of judges would have a perfect beauty like her on it.  That stellar lady on the Approval Patrol would always look impeccably dressed and sport the latest styles, but her children would be getting trophies and never say bad words.

I used to LIVE for the approval of others.  It often takes us at least to our 30’s to realize that committee of folks we are seeking a gold star from will never all agree on our rightness or our value.  Other people’s opinions will always vary and especially about us, often dependent on whether we are doing things for them or following the way of living that they do.  Like they say things are in “the court of public opinion,” well there’s such a thing as “prison of public opinion.”  And often the people we cared who approved of us in our 20’s aren’t around for our 30’s anyway.

How would life be different of we truly didn’t care what others thought.  That is total freedom.  Just think of all the possibilities for our lives if there were no opinions?  Would we paint?  Would we sing on stage?  Would we write books?  What would we wear?  What would we say?  What would we say?  Who would we be without the opinion of others?  What would we drive?  How would we decorate out homes?  Would we all have houses all crazy cool colors?  How many pink houses would there be?  How often would we dance?  Would people dance at weddings without needing any booze to allow them to let go of inhibitions?  Would people wear costumes like just on a random day, not just Halloween, but like every day was like a parade.  Sounds like heaven to me.  Freedom and costumes are the best.  No matter what we’d do, all that mattered is that we felt good about it and not how it looked to others or was perceived.  There are actually people who live like that.

Next time you go to make a decision, think about what factors you are using to figure it out.  Are other people’s opinions being hypothesized or used in the equation?  What if you just made a choice based on your own intuition?  Hmm…what a concept?

The Approval Patrol will just find someone else.  They always do.

Previous Posts

Work or Play?
Is it possible to feel like what your job actually feels like play? Growing up, I didn't know that was possible, but jobs look glamorous through a child's eyes.  I thought my parents' jobs looked cool.  They looked really fun.  My dad was a bartender.  That soda gun with different flavor wa

posted 3:23:26am Nov. 20, 2014 | read full post »

These are the days of our lives
I remember watching this soap back in the 80's and loved that there was a character named Jennifer. I also remember Kim Delaney being on All My Children, playing a character named Jenny. I loved being home from school to catch all the good TV. From game shows to talk shows and my soaps I watched fro

posted 2:45:41am Nov. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Cup of Me
Did you ever get so busy you put salt instead of sugar in your coffee or do something you normally do on autopilot, but somehow you short circuit. Today I was getting ready to do an interview and I was rushing around. It was done on video so I had to make sense of my hair. I had already gotten to

posted 10:12:31pm Nov. 13, 2014 | read full post »

Approval Patrol
I was driving down that road and saw a billboard that said "Approval Patrol" on a picture of a few people looking very serious.  It was a funny thought I had, thinking of how we sometimes live like there actually is an official Approval Patrol. Every day we do wonder what others will think of

posted 6:24:15pm Nov. 09, 2014 | read full post »

"I didn't come here to make friends"
That saying we've heard before. The idea that we're in it for ourselves and shouldn't befriend people we see as competition or that we don't have anything to gain from. That looking straight ahead at a goal mentality that I admired in the go-getter vibe that successful people seemed to have. This 10

posted 11:26:48pm Nov. 03, 2014 | read full post »


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