Sassy Spirit

Sassy Spirit

The Selfish Catepillar and The College Butterfly

posted by jperry

Oh…yes, I’m the selfish caterpillar.

Teens and their parents fight. Yes, of course, but as much as that happens, I can’t imagine ever wanting them out of the house. They are teenagers who are acting like teenagers, but they are still our babies deep down there inside. I think I suck at parenting sometimes. I am emotional. I get angry. I don’t respect boundaries…yet…cause I’m trying to figure out when to let go. At what age?  You think the stages of ages prepare, but in my experience lately, it hasn’t.  So I’ll tell you a story only to make sense of it in my head.  I think in metaphors. Actually, it’s a personification really, but really both.

There was a caterpillar that loved its life. Things were cozy on the ground. She could see the trees and climb them slowly. She could marvel at the sky, but didn’t need anything to change as she saw winged creatures, new ones each day taking flight for the first time.

One day things started to change. The caterpillar heard whispers from caterpillar friends that there was this thing that happened. This aspect of them that would change. It would literally get so wrapped in its own world, cocooning itself in its chrysalis so that it was no longer part of caterpillar world. It wasn’t a butterfly yet either. It was in between worlds. No matter how much the caterpillar wanted things to stay the same…nature doesn’t work like that.  No matter how much the caterpillar feared the new world, it was happening.  To be a butterfly was its destiny.  It would have to take flight and soar to brand new, faraway places without its caterpillar self.  It would always have a part of the caterpillar within the butterfly.

The caterpillar doesn’t die.  It changes form.  It is a new chapter.  It is how God intended it.  It transforms both the caterpillar and the butterfly.  It is a huge level of trust on the part of the caterpillar and a huge level of courage on the part of the butterfly.  One has to let go in or order for the other to become.  Soon, the butterfly will bust her way out into the world and things will never be the same.  The caterpillar is preparing.  The butterfly is preparing…only in my story, they are in different cocoon/chrysalises.

In real life, I am not good with this college stuff.  This caterpillar is not ready for the butterfly to soar.  I am being a selfish caterpillar.  I am going to try my hardest to support the butterfly.  I will focus on the happiness of the butterfly taking flight…off to college.  I will strive to support her more and not avoid the inevitable.

What are you avoiding that is inevitable or just part of life?  Are there any changes that you dread?  We all have many stages of life.  These are all here to assist our growth. It’s just that usually when we’re so in it, we can’t see reality.  We have to trust that no matter what phase of it we’re in, it will work out. Seems so silly sometimes when our problems or challenges are so small compared to others, but it’s all relative.  Our stress is our stress.  Just know, it will all work out.

Don’t go into Fear

posted by jperry

The media can grab our attention with the things we “should” be afraid of.  The list grows by the day.  It sells.  It keeps us imprisoned in fear.  This keeps us small.  It makes us want to escape reality if we think we can’t improve it.

Do you want to survive or thrive?

If you focus on just surviving and going through the motions…,it’s a half-lived life.  Are you thriving?  It feels so different.  Does this mean you don’t have things you’re still working on?  No, cause you’re human.  But you can see what’s going well, what needs tweaking, and how you can improve.  Growing, learning, and becoming more, as you accept yourself, is the yin and yang of it.

Think of your own journey as an evolution.  The evolution takes time, but it doesn’t have to take long once we decide.

I have to ask myself, where do I keep myself small?  I am learning where I’ve placed my own limitations.  Looking at my habits, patterns, mindset, and what I spend my time and energy on is bringing up a lot for me.  I see it falling into categories like numbing out, distractions (media of all kinds), to-do lists and business that doesn’t’ feel productive.  If I shift focus, I want to put my energy on my family, making money, enjoying life, and my soul’s purpose.  If it doesn’t feel good what I’m doing, I have to take a look at what that means.  Either I don’t do it or shift my focus.  I can spread myself too thin and then lose my center if not.  My energy is depleted and I feel deflated and small again.  Fear wears many disguises and it can have us running in circles trying to do-be-have enough.

I can ask myself…is this important?  Does this deserve my time?  If I know my worth, does this serve me?  If I love myself, would I ____?

I ask the Universe to release anything that no longer serves me.  In this space where limitations have lived, now possibilities will dwell.  I ask for newness.  My job is to look in the direction of what I want to and not to get caught up in fear.  I have a choice.  I can look at the news, kickin’ around the same thinking that gets people nowhere or I can turn off and tune out what is fear and place my laser focus on what I do want.  I can focus on love, strength, good vibes, higher thinking, solutions, possibilities, dreams, and such.  There are many realities in any given moment, in any given room, in any given mind.  We have so much power.  I now pick up my light saber and be like Yoda says “Do or do not.  There is no try.” I will connect to the Force.  It’s always there, waiting for me.  It’s always there for me to choose it or fear.   How much can I let this infinite Divine cosmic force occupy my consciousness?

What I know for sure is…no fear…I can.

What are you afraid to feel?

posted by jperry

Fear
Anger
Confusion
Wrong
Bad
Stupid
Mean
Selfish
Incompetent
Crazy
Weird

Do you avoid these? What if your fear of feeling them was actually controlling you? What if you could be aware you don’t like to feel them, but you do? That you would like to feel the opposite. What the opposite might technically be the polar extreme of the other, but to you, it’s different.

Like anger versus peace.
Are you numbing yourself so you don’t feel any of these?
Why?
Is it the end of the world to feel something?
Once felt, could it move on through you and out of your being?

Were you ever afraid to express emotion as a kid?  Did someone make you wrong for your feelings?  Were you made to feel there are certain safe emotions?  Did you think you always had to be happy?  Or was there only happy, sad, and mad?  Are you cut off from your emotions where you can’t really put a name to them, but you just feel off?  Acknowledging them doesn’t solidify them, making them real, but rather frees them.  Once you know what you feel, you can decide whether you want to keep that emotion or not?  Could you actually shift your emotion to a more positive one?  What are your vibe raisers once you allow that stuck “bad” emotion to be heard?

I’ve written about mine before.  Music, cooking, and getting dollied-up are three of mine.  I also know that when I help others, I definitely raise my vibe too.  As a life coach, I uplift, empower, and inspire.  If I don’t raise my energy and feel bad for my client or even a customer of Beach Body (which I sell and help peeps lose weight), I can’t help anyone.  If someone feels these emotions and I feel them as well, playing in the victim place, I can’t help anyone. From that space, it’s tight and small.  If I can stay in my center and look at higher consciousness where other possibilities are, expansion happens.  You can still be compassionate about someone’s woes and not get sucked into the negative energy.  I know with myself, it’s always the question…where’s my point of power?  If I’m playing victim, be it with my kids or with circumstances, I have no power.  But what do we always have the power to do?  Think differently.

We feel a crappy emotion or feeling.

We get to choose how to feel after that.  We get to shift.  We get to ask…what do I want?  What do I really, truly want?  What am I seeking?  What am I looking for?  What brings me peace?  What brings me joy?  What brings me a feeling of love?  Is it possible to decide to feel those. Try it.

Think about peace.  Can you feel it?  Can you tap  into peace?  In that split second, you felt it.  You see it can grow with focus and attention.  So the next time you feel chaos within, anger, frustration, ask yourself where peace is within you.  I find I’m often really seeking peace in any moment.  That feeling of centeredness that flows with love in my soul unencumbered.  Feelings and emotions are just telling us where we are at in the moment.  They hold no power.  We do.

God is not one size fits all

posted by jperry

Of course, I can relate everything to a metaphor and especially a fashion one. Just like everyone feels comfortable in different things, it’s the same with God.

Some like classic Little Black dresses that make them feel more alive, some like to go for soft comfy and traditional with cotton sweatpants, others in native clothing, or in an outrageous costume makes them feel most themselves. That is what makes the world go around. Variety gives us such gifts of growth. We learn every day.

What if God actually created so many different version of itself so that we had to learn to love even more. I know it’s harder for me to feel loving towards someone who is judging me and telling me I am not worshipping God the right way. This is none of anyone’s business. Before buildings and books, there was still God. Before the “rules,” there was a Higher Power guiding this Universe underneath it all. I love questioning everything so I can get more clear. I can’t tell someone they love God wrong or not enough.

I can be an example.  I can show what a connection to God looks like in a healthy way for me, while allowing others to have their own relationship without it affecting mine even if it’s so different.   No better than or less than with our souls.

I just purchased a vintage navy velvet coat and I feel like it’s home when I’m wearing it.  It feels like I’m a queen.  I feel like Stevie Nicks.  I love that luxury feel of velvet and that gypsy cool vibe too.  If someone else tried on the coat, it might look silly or too big or too small.  It’s just right for me.  There would be others that could rock the coat just fine.  Maybe they would add a scarf or a pin, adding even more to fit their style.  But oh what a dreadful world it would be if everyone had that velvet coat and there were no red pea coats or camel wool coats like my mom looks so perfect in.    What a freeing feeling just being ourselves and feeling like our coat or God is a perfect fit for us.

What does God feel like for you?

It is the feeling of love.  It is the feeling of my mom even still at age 37.  It’s the look of my hubby when he comes home and smiles as our eyes meet.  It’s the look of my kids as they stare at me in adoration…well, the younger ones at least.  It’s what I feel like when my kids smile.  It’s the feeling of holding a baby.  It’s like when you stare at the ocean and just take in all of the power.  It’s the full moon and stars, feeling cosmically connected to all things.  It’s the feeling of driving along on a  sunny day with the radio blasting with a song you absolutely love.  It’s dancing.  It’s eating chocolate.  It’s belly laughs.  Those soul moments, I feel God’s presence.  It rocks.  Try on that for size.

You see, you get to choose the right fit, style, and color for you…but it’s still all the same thing, just like wearing the perfect coat.

Previous Posts

The Selfish Catepillar and The College Butterfly
Oh...yes, I'm the selfish caterpillar. Teens and their parents fight. Yes, of course, but as much as that happens, I can't imagine ever wanting them out of the house. They are teenagers who are acting like teenagers, but they are still our babies deep down there inside. I think I suck at parentin

posted 11:59:23pm Oct. 19, 2014 | read full post »

Don't go into Fear
The media can grab our attention with the things we "should" be afraid of.  The list grows by the day.  It sells.  It keeps us imprisoned in fear.  This keeps us small.  It makes us want to escape reality if we think we can't improve it. Do you want to survive or thrive? If you focus on j

posted 1:18:32am Oct. 15, 2014 | read full post »

What are you afraid to feel?
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posted 2:02:15pm Oct. 12, 2014 | read full post »

God is not one size fits all
Of course, I can relate everything to a metaphor and especially a fashion one. Just like everyone feels comfortable in different things, it's the same with God. Some like classic Little Black dresses that make them feel more alive, some like to go for soft comfy and traditional with cotton sweatp

posted 1:20:47am Oct. 11, 2014 | read full post »

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posted 12:04:57am Oct. 06, 2014 | read full post »


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