With Valentine’s Day approaching, we see hearts everywhere. I love champagne, roses, and chocolate of course. I’m a gal who loves romance. I’m a feminist to some and old-fashioned to others. I love gentlemen. When a man holds the door for me I always give a huge thank you. I think both sexes should do that, but I always have such respect for men with good values. I’m married to a man like that with great manners. I find kindness in him super sexy. Funny as I’m in my thirties, substance is what I value in others versus desirable external features.

My husband will clean the bathroom for me. That is more valuable to me than pretty gifts.  He’s not a surprise me with flowers, but pick up a great bottle of wine instead…except for our anniversary and Valentine’s Day.  He does kind things for me. That’s the real romance in marriage. He’ll also text me that he misses me or that he’s thinking of me. Those texts make my day.  We often love others in the style and means that we want to be loved.  We have to let others love is in their own way.  You can ask for more of what you want, but with an approach that’s not making your partner wrong which will make them defensive.  Say things like:  “You know what I would love…”  instead of “How come you never?”  It’s a totally different energy.  I always say marriage is like a piggy bank.  The more I put into it, the more I get out of it.

In my twenties there were times in our marriage where we were on autopilot.  I was stressed about the kids.  My husband would not be present when he was home and he worked a lot.  There was no texting to stay in touch.  We both stressed about money issues.  It was like the third wheel in our marriage.

As I got into my 30th year, I started reading all about the Law of Attraction and sharing what I learned with my husband.  I remember us both looking at the home we lived in which felt so small and we looked at it through the eyes of gratitude.  A total shift happened.  Of course it passed, but we had a new appreciation for what blessings we did have.  That’s our foundation.  We look at the good.  We soak up the good moments.  We take responsibility for our own happiness.  We have fun together because we remember to treat each other like boyfriend/girlfriend again.  We flirt with each other.  We’re silly.  We laugh a lot.  Our house is crazy with five kids and we don’t always agree.

We focus on what really matters.  We cheer each other on.  We want the other person to have their best life.  We are happy to see the other person happy.  That feeling trumps all the chocolate hearts and flowers in the world.

Spread love, folks,  and it’s returned to you.  Never worry the vessel who returns it.  Just let in the good.

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