Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Law of Attraction in Action: Labeling Things That Happen with Negatives

LOAlogoBLOGThis is post 288 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series  to see how.

Stuff happens that you won’t like.Unless you want to make it worse, don’t give it a negative label, such as these common laments::

•    “I just got bad news.”
•    “Things at work have gotten lousy.”
•    “My health is getting terrible.”
•    “The weather is supposed to be awful.”

And so on. Have you expressed anything like these? The Law of Attraction will associate your situation with being bad or awful and reinforce it. Instead, think, “This too shall pass.” Because it will get better, if you don’t sabotage yourself.

Don’t let other people give you a negative label. I once had a health issue. Whenever I told someone about it, I’d get negative comment, such as, “How terrible” or “That’s bad!”I responded, “No it’s not, I’m getting better.” And I did. I didn’t want any negative labels on me. Become aware of any labels you might use or that someone else does. By keeping your vibration positive, you can get through anything that might seem bad to you. Just don’t use that kind of word!

When you look back after a negative situation you’ll see that it was not as bad as you thought. You may not get the promotion you wanted but something better came up for you right after at. Maintain a positive vibration and your ability to attract a good resolution to you situation will be strong. Plus, you’ll feel better!

See all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series HERE.
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Join The Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment“I commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the next 31 days. and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 2014 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook. Watch the video made with Hoobastank’s song–The reason–that illustrates the power of self-love.

 

Coping with Criticism

me holding ears.17 #2Criicism seems to be a natural part of life. There are many people who think they’re helping you by poining out that you’ve gained a few pounds, or you’re not doing a good job ast something, or your clohing doesn’t suit you, or you need a haircut or a gazilliion other criticisms. Getting criticized can make you angry, hurt, insecure, resentful and a lot more emotions that don’t feel good. Next time someone points out that something is wrong with you, ask yourself:

•    How do I feel about what’s being said? Don’t ignore your feelings or they’ll build up inside and stay with you for a long time. It’s easier to deal with your feelings fast.

•    Do I agree? If you think you look fine, or are doing a good job, smile and say something like, “I’m happy with how I look/my work, and I’m not looking for a reason to feel bad so I don’t need your input.” Say it nicely with as smile. That should shut them up!

•    What can I learn from the criticism? Often the words target something that bothers you and can motivate you to change it.When a boyfriend criticized my cluttered closets, I balked but afterwards I recognized I didn’t like the clutter . so I cleaned them out and felt good about it . Although criticism can be painful, but it can help you if you look for the lesson in it.

•    Is this person really trying to help me?  There’s a big difference between constructive criticism from someone who sincerely cares about you and being trashed by someone who is out to hurt you or feel better about themselves at your expense. If it’s the latter type of person, speak up or let it go. Figure out the best choice for yourself and ignore the critic.

•    How can I set boundaries with regular critics? Come up with some things to say to he people who often try to knock you down with by pointing out your imperfections. You’re entitled to protect your self-esteem by creating boundaries. Express how you feel when you’re hit with criticism. Nicely, and firmly tell the critic what you’ll do if it happens again, such as leave the room, hang up the phone, or, if it’s serious enough, end your relationship altogether. It’s important to show you mean it by doing it.

Criticism only hurts you if you allow it to. People have their own issues that make them find fault in others. They may do it because they’re insecure and putting you down makes them feel better. Sometimes people who are jealous and will find something to pick on. Don’t take it personally. Their own issues are behind their words.

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Join The Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment“I commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the next 31 days. and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 2014 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook. Watch the video made with Hoobastank’s song–The reason–that illustrates the power of self-love.

You Can’t Buy Love

Heart 2 GOODdollarsLove isn’t a product, like shoes, or lemons. Yet people pleasers try to buy it with favors and being agreeable. I did whewn I was a DoorMat! And like many women, I was under the erroneous belief that if I catered to the needs of a guy I was dating, he’d want to stay. Women tell me they cook and clean for their guy, hoping it will get them the love they crave. Men say they shower women with gifts and expensive outungs to keep the woman.But it usually doesn’t work because you can’t buy love. It’s not a sale item.

Love comes from the heart. It builds from personal connections. Some people will love what you do for them. But that’s not the kind of love that’s satisfying. Then you feel pressure to keep on giving and giving to please the person and keep the love coming.  And knowing that someone loves you for what you give them isn’t the same as someone loving you for you.

Yet people pleasers keep trying to buy love with favors, acquiescence, gifts, and more. Then they feel stressed, like I used to, about keeping it up so the person would continue to love them. This isn’t just about buying love from a romantic partner. People try to buy the love of a friend, parent, etc. If you do this it’s time to stop, like I did. When I put a lid on people pleasing, I got to see who really loved me for me and who my true friends were.

To break the pattern, focus on giving yourself love.The more you love yourself, the more you can control what you give others. Put your energy into making yourself happy, and appreciating it.  Buy your own love with acts of self-kindness

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Join The Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment“I commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the next 31 days. and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 2014 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook. Watch the video made with Hoobastank’s song–The reason–that illustrates the power of self-love.

Law of Attraction in Action: Delegating Responsibility

LOAlogoBLOGThis is post 287 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how.

I used to own a summer recreation program. While I had an assistant, I did everything myself. I created a lot of stress for myself by taking on too much stuff that he could have done. When someone asked me why I paid someone to assist me but didn’t let him assist me, I realized I was being too controlling and needed to delegate responsibility to him, and I did. My life got better with tasks off of my plate.

Many of us have a hard time delegating responsibility to someone else. It might be from a need to control everything, or you’re scared the other person won’t do it as well as you. This tells the Universe you’d rather struggle and work extra hard than to accept assistance. That also negates your allowing yourself to have  good well-being since you’d rather have stress  by doing everything yourself..

It’s important to lighten up and make your life easier. Give yourself more time to relax and enjoy your life more. Love yourself enough to delegate to competent people. . Accept that you shouldn’t have to do it all. When I delegated to my assistant, my stress level went down dramatically., I was so much happier. And you know what a happy vibe attracts—good stuff! And it did for me.

See all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series HERE.

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Join The Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment“I commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the next 31 days. and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 2014 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook. Watch the video made with Hoobastank’s song–The reason–that illustrates the power of self-love.

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