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I once heard the average unhappily married person considers leaving at least ten times before they actually do. Personally, I think the number is probably much higher. Marriage is a huge commitment which most people take very seriously. Hence, why people fail to leave when they first instinctually feel the relationship cannot be repaired. Of…

The truth is fully graduated confidence and respect are a byproduct of a mature ego. What does this mean? The ego must grow up. This leads the average individual to a tricky conundrum. Because of course, we all want to believe we are both confident and respectful, don’t we? In fact, most of us do…

Can you rescue someone? This question is raised time and time again by individuals who reach out to me. They just don’t phrase it this way. I have written about this often because rescuers refuse to believe the answer is no.  Sure, as in all things there are exceptions to the rule and every enabler…

It’s been said there are more bad counselors than good ones.  How do you find a solid one? Do the necessary prerequisite homework – research them and ask others for referrals. Ask yourself some of the following questions? Are my spouse and I experiencing simple communication issues? If so, a good LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social…

I am in my car listening to the Garth Brooks song If Tomorrow Never Comes. A tear jerker of a song but on this day one verse catches my attention. “So I made a promise to myself.” It’s funny how you can hear words over and over again yet simultaneously feel as if you are hearing them for the…

Last week I was watching NBC’s First Dates (which I SO want to be on by the way). It’s a new show produced by Ellen DeGeneres and narrated by Drew Barrymore. They teased the upcoming clips and right before I flipped the channel, I heard a guy say, “I just want to be important to someone.”…

Long before my divorce, I first had to face the demise of my marriage. I have a great girlfriend who fortunately was there at the time to set me straight. In true victim fashion, I bemoaned my loss. Why me? Why my marriage? Why my husband? Why my children? Why my family? Why?! Why?! Why?!…

In the beginning of my divorce, I remember having lunch with two of my girlfriends.  “Why does this always happen to the kindest women?” One asked while the other agreed. “It’s not kindness,” I replied. “There are plenty of kind women who are happily married. It is kindness with zero boundaries and a lack of…

I remember in the beginning of my divorce standing in my doctor’s office. At that point, I had been in the emergency room several times with surface blood clots. I have a very non-invasive blood condition which unless I was to have surgery, was a smoker or took hormone replacements shouldn’t be a problem. At…

Relationships are hard enough without the addition of a difficult personality. This is true in all relationships, not just romantic ones. The problem with a disrespectful individual is they are actually a complex ball of wax. A host of other less than favorable qualities tend to go hand in hand with a person who respects…
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