I remember sitting in my marriage counselor’s office one day. It is was one of the days I had what I refer to as a ‘shifting moment.’ It’s hard not to talk a lot during marital problems and divorce because the inability to leave a person who is this meaningful in your life overwhelms you.…

I drag my chair closer to the desk, grab a headset and click on the mouse. Computer keys pound in the background choreographed by the women who sit beside me. My first call registers on the screen. “Hello, Karin’s Florist, this is Colleen, how may I help you?” I utter softly, so as not to…

There’s an expression in the Alzheimer’s community, “You lose the person you love twice: Once while they are still living and again when they pass on.” I remember watching my mother suffer throughout this ugly disease. To the world, it appeared I still had my mother but I had grieved her long before she passed…

There are a ton of unhappily married couples but seldom do you hear someone say, “Hey, I might give divorce a try. What’s it like? Can you tell me a little more about it? Do you think I could handle it?” Nah! That just doesn’t happen. Divorce is more frightening to the average individual than…

Okay, so no one chooses divorce.  It chooses you. It is a last resort. An ending to a story you wish was otherwise written. And you hold onto that ending for a long time. No one wants to leave a movie feeling like they could have written it better.  It is, after all, so much…

One day my marriage counselor said, “Colleen, you have the ability to see your own faults and this is unusual. The average person, not even a difficult personality, does not necessarily have the ability to see their own faults.” I realized why he was telling me this. I couldn’t reach my husband no matter how…

It’s hard to admit shortcomings in any aspect of our lives. It’s even more challenging to face the fault in our relationships. It signifies the frightening possibility of surrendering to the potential demise of the complex relationships that sustain us when they do not drain us. There are a variety of ways to kick a…

Couples usually go to marriage counseling with the belief that their better half is the true reason they have ended up in counseling. In truth, it takes two people to arrive at this destination. Some relationships experience a slow and neglectful erosion and therefore, it makes sense both individuals must take responsibility. The time and…

Everyone has a certain degree of ego. The question is how immense is that ego? A huge ego can cause a tremendous amount of strife and frustration in a relationship. It can also create a great divide in a couple. Thus, endangering the overall happiness or longevity of a relationship. Ego is the essentially the…

It is not uncommon for individuals to choose to remain in an unhappy marriage. Of course, there are those who do so consciously and will admit it. At the very least, to themselves. And then there are others, who are somewhat conscious but choose denial. Those individuals recognize their unhappiness but convince themselves and others…

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