God's Comic

God's Comic

Reexamining Rudolph

posted by Brad Stine

I came across a classic Christmas song the other day and after examining the words I have come to realize how easily humans accept ideas at face value without scrutinizing them for philosophical and/or cultural flaws. The song I’m referring to of course is “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”.

Here are the lyrics with my copious notes:

“Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer”…

Stop! First off, why bring up the red nose? If you have a red-nosed reindeer it is fairly obvious and social decorum would dictate you keep it to yourself to save the reindeer’s embarrassment. We don’t treat others that way normally. Who goes around introducing others like “Hey there’s Jimmy the Pockmarked postman”, or “ Have you met Nancy the lazy-eyed court reporter”? No. In the past the only time we emphasized a physical flaw in others is when were trying to sell tickets to a sideshow. I’m pro sideshow mind you but I’m looking for an alligator skinned women or a snouted man, before plunking down good money. For a red nose?, ..Not so much.

“had a very shiny nose”..

Wait a minute. You just told me in the first line it was red, now it’s shiny? Ball bearings are shiny; patent leather shoes as well, not necessarily a color. So which is it red or shiny?

”and if you ever saw it”..

Why would I? I don’t need too since you already described it to me.

“you would even say it glows”…

GLOWS!? The moon glows, candles glow, how could you possibly confuse a glow for red or shiny? Why can’t you get your story straight? Who are you protecting?

“All of the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names”..

Why not, he’s a reindeer with an indecipherable nose issue; something needs to be said.

“they never let poor Rudolph”..

Poor? How do you know? You have access to his tax returns, what, suddenly it’s a class struggle; we have to play the poor card? Fear not Rudolph, Obama’s in office, redistributed wealth is coming

”play in any reindeer games”

Does he care? What could a reindeer game consist of anyway? They have hooves for Pete’s sake. Hooves not fingers. That rules out any board games that involve dice. (Can’t grip em) no ball games. (Can’t hold a bat, catch a football or dribble a basketball) or any charades since it would be impossible for him to indicate how many words or syllables. Sounds like he’s not missing much!

“Then one foggy Christmas eve..”

huh, foggy where the North Pole? It’s probably foggy a lot there but what are you saying the entire earth got foggy on the same night? That sounds like the apocalypse to me. What’s next, locusts and boils?

“Santa came to say..”

finally Santa shows up. Where was he all the times Rudolph was being ridiculed and in pain? Can anyone believe in a Santa that seems to ignore us in our darkest hour?

“Rudolph with your nose so bright..”

Santa please! Keep up, here are your options the nose is either red, shiny or glowy. None of which fit the category of bright or someone would have said so long ago during the reindeer-mocking Rudolph sessions.

“won’t you guide my sleigh tonight”?

Let me get this straight. Santa spent a year using magic elves to build, paint, box & wrap every possible gift imaginable. From Lego’s to tennis bracelets, yachts to wii’s. He is able to pack every gift for every human on earth in one sleigh and deliver it, via chimney, to every human on earth in one night, but somehow you were unable to fashion a couple headlights to your sleigh and needed to call on the freak?

“Then how the reindeer loved him..”

Oh yeah that’s gonna happen, when they hated and mocked him his whole life and suddenly he’s thrust into the spotlight to accomplish something these brats were incapable of, thus putting him in the category of Santa’s favorite; Suddenly they’re all going to let bygones be bygones and embrace him as misunderstood and they’ll receive the revelation of their own arrogance and bullying and suddenly repent asking his forgiveness which he’ll grant readily as he is an enlightened soul? Who wrote this story the Hallmark channel?

”as they shouted out with glee”..

Glee? Who uses the word glee? Yeah that’s what the song was missing, an archaic word from a nineteenth century romance novel to keep the song exciting.

“Rudolph the red, (shiny, glowing, bright,) nosed reindeer, you’ll go down in history”.

Why not? There isn’t a lot of competition for classic songs featuring reindeer. As a matter of fact it may be the only reindeer song ever penned. The fact that he was genetically mutated just gave the song the conflict it needed to give it legs.

By the way I just heard about a buffalo in Wyoming that was born with 2 heads, 6 legs and it lived. Sounds like the making of a new Christmas classic. Where’s Mel Torme when you need him?

 

Is Thanksgiving too “Commercial”?

posted by Brad Stine

During this Thanksgiving Holiday I believe it is important to take a moment to thank God for the little things that often get ignored or neglected in our hectic lives. Lots of football will be watched over Thanksgiving for example, which reminds us to take time and say a little prayer thanking God for commercials. Why commercials you ask? Thus proving my point that we as Americans often neglect to realize the crucial theological principle that what Satan meant for evil God uses for our good.

Commercials were first implemented in the 50”s I believe when T.V. was in its infancy and no one knew how important it would be to create moments in a program, mini intermissions if you will, that advertise some unnecessary junk in order to give we the viewers our cue to go to the bathroom, make a sandwich or put on our pajamas.

Over time of course it became obvious that there wasn’t enough triviality we could do to occupy and numb our minds to the point of distraction in order to avoid the commercials and thus we actually found ourselves sitting through them.

Thus we had to endure things like the makers of exercise products that preach having the body of your dreams comes not by exercise anymore but by buying an overpriced machine that is fun to use, requires no effort, and trims your waistline while reducing fat and you do nothing but strap it on and eat pizza which proves that the new axiom in retail is no longer “the customer is always right” but instead a more accurate 2012 version is “the customer is always a rube”.

We should be thankful for this serendipitous situation of course because with this insidious relentless hammering to our skulls of these insipid and creativity crushing vignettes singing the praises of toilet paper and feminine hygiene products (none of which ever needed to be advertised considering we all are well aware of their usefulness) that it finally became too much for some computer/ technology geek who found them so repulsive he actually spent a Sunday afternoon once not watching football but instead figuring out a way to record T.V. in real time, pause it when we needed to leave the area and when we returned have the omnipotent option of fast forwarding through the commercials to get right to the action and thus Tivo was born.

All thanks to commercials and our disdain for them. Of course Tivo evolved into every cable box in America that can now “stop” time and forward past the boring parts, which if we were able to do in our real lives would make our journey so much shorter but a heck of a lot of fun!

It’s comforting to know that though the Lord finds Himself in the unenviable position often times of having to let our fallen status catch up to us in the form of pain and temptation, even God finds Himself feeling compelled to intervene in our affairs when it comes to certain forms of hell on earth like commercials.

So I wish everyone a happy and grateful Thanksgiving. Be sure and use your TV program recording device I whatever flavor you prefer to save yourself aggravation, and maybe take a moment to bow your head and give a quick shout-out to the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who if T.V. was around in his day I believe would have, like that fruitless fig tree, found the desire to curse and damn commercials a tough temptation to dodge and probably would have been one of Satan’s most devious temptations in the wilderness.

Happy Thanksgiving!

What is marriage for?

posted by Brad Stine

Hi my friends.

With the Holidays once again upon us I think of the gratefulness I have for my wife who has walked with and put up with me for 22 years. That being said I stumbled upon this blog I wrote in Aug of 2009 which is 5 years ago. ( or 12 years ago if you believe in common core math)

I find it fascinating what I was thinking about then and how it seems to have been somewhat prophetic.

It’s not one of my funny ones, but I found it interesting.

What do you think?…….

How many times have you considered the “purpose” of marriage? That’s right the purpose. For thousands of years we as a human race have gotten married for one reason only, to have children.

Though children can be created without marriage the purpose of marriage was the guarantee that they would be raised and nurtured by one woman and one man. Not only is that the ONLY combination that can create children, it is the only combination that guarantees that the child from day one will be nurtured in the ways of life by a female and male perspective.

Each gender has an intrinsically unique understanding of life and how it works based on the fact that we are biologically different in our makeup as well as the chemical composition, I.E. testosterone or estrogen. When two humans that love and are committed to each other create a child there is an indefinable bond that is instilled in them that is virtually impossible for someone to understand that has never had a child of their own.

If you are a neo-Darwinist natures “survival” instinct defines the male/female union not only as normative but essential. Any human scenario that can’t or won’t procreate is weeded out and destroyed as a drain on evolutionary non-directed progress. I know it sounds harsh but then again Darwinism provides no place for sentiment.

After all it believes in a closed universe that has no purpose OTHER than procreation since survival is all there is and ever will be amen. I believe it was Dawkins that stated the “universe never had you in mind”. (I love how the Darwinist meta-physical religion always has to give cognitive skills and autonomy to a merciless and mindless universe. Even materialistic driven science T.V. programming describing biology constantly refers to the “design” of a species.

There inability to observe their own irrational faith driven ideology as impossibly inconsistent with the way humans live would be funny if it wasn’t so tragic). As a Christian my belief in absolute truth on the other hand provides purpose and dignity for humanity.

It also by its revealed truth establishes norms that are beyond utilitarian and instead into purpose that does allow for altruism and compassion, and in the case of mother father union, love and guidance for the offspring.
None of which derives from or can exist from an evolutionary model. I also believe God shadows the spiritual world by using 3 dimensional examples of His universal truth.

For example the Judeo/Christian God says that He created them male/female. We are individual and separate from each other yet we are told when we unite sexually we are literally one flesh.

Think of this! Two unique beings that become one and create an entirely new human! Now we have three humans that are all separate but equal simultaneously. The child equally the mom and dad yet separate. Sound familiar?

3 separate beings that are at once “one” yet at once separate. This is the mysterious trinity in real time. You know, without the burning bushes, tongues of fire and walking on water that sort of sets the original in a class of His/Their own.

I have a certain perspective on marriage in that I am a child of divorce. The ripping away of the family unit by two people in supposed covenant has proven statistically over the years the price of a fatherless culture when it comes to crime and jail time. The abuse of children by step-spouses or a boyfriend/girlfriend non-married union is beyond speculation.

I also realize that you can raise a functioning adult from a single parent and same sex scenario that ends up better than some kids that come from a normal situation. But we didn’t use to gauge value based on aberrations. We always STARTED from the best-case scenario and made due with the lesser.

The idea of marriage being sacred and crucial to society is why children born out of wedlock were called “bastards” and given a social stigma as punishment to the progenitors in order to hopefully shame them into the responsibility that was expected with the privilege of having children.
I say all this with the absolute assurance that one day soon any and every “form” of “marriage” will exist in our country. Gay marriage is a guarantee.

Eventually polygamists will win in court for being denied the option by consenting adults to engage in whatever form of marriage humans chose to create. This is post-modernism. This is culture driven morality. Only in death will we held accountable for our choice to “love” others by demanding no moral perimeters.

Only in death will we discover the price of believing human desire should become law and any behavior we choose becomes our right. In death does the Creator of rights become final arbitor.

Isn’t dead stuff beautiful?

posted by Brad Stine

Well fall is finally here and that always brings with it those beautiful colors and symbols that we all cherish and hang on to as a nation. Of course I am referring to blood, corpses and fear. Halloween is right around the corner, I know that because the moment you walk around the corner someone or something will be there to jump out and scare the crap out of you!

I guess I am a little sentimental but I recall when October ushered in the color of autumn leaves, gourds and Indian corn. Nowhere did we find it important to celebrate death, or did we?

If you think about it, and you probably didn’t but fear not, that’s why God invented me, so I could do the thinking for you, fall was the celebration of death. The beautiful; “fall colors” of the leaves is the result of the leaves passing away but going out in a blaze of glory..literally.

Halloween on the other hand celebrates skeletons and rotted corpses. Nowhere does it indicate that something good happened here and we should be optimistic. Yet with leaves there is this unique call back to the rainbow.

The Bible said that after the devastating flood that forever let the world know the consequences of sin and rebellion, God set a rainbow in the sky to tell humanity He would never again allow the world to be destroyed by flood, and so the rainbow not only gave us a promise, but hope that the sun is coming again soon.

Fall leaves are dead, but they die spectacularly, and when they do they are to remind us to fear not, I am coming back in the spring! Yes death is all around us, BUT, there is a resurrection day when all will be healed and reunited with their loved ones. As far as skeletons go, not so much. They remind us that death is final and that all that is left of our hopes and dreams and a life well lived is a fleshless carcass that has lost so much human dignity it is now considered a prop for the entertainment of the living.

Why does fear sell? Normally to be frightened is a bad thing so why spend 10 bucks at the theater to pay someone to scare us? Why attend a haunted house knowing full well you are going to be scared, unless it is because we know in the end we are safe. This is controlled fear that actually isn’t dangerous at all.

This is the feeling that we are avoiding the real evil of death by experiencing the horror without the actual results. By making light of it, we fool ourselves into believing we are somehow in control.

We’re not of course, God is. The good news is when we go knocking on His door we can expect more than a Snickers bar. Happy Halloween my friends, because as Christ followers we actually CAN laugh at death!

Previous Posts

Reexamining Rudolph
I came across a classic Christmas song the other day and after examining the words I have come to realize how easily humans accept ideas at face value without scrutinizing them for philosophical and/or cultural flaws. The song I’m referring to of course is “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”.

posted 7:34:05pm Dec. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Is Thanksgiving too "Commercial"?
During this Thanksgiving Holiday I believe it is important to take a moment to thank God for the little things that often get ignored or neglected in our hectic lives. Lots of football will be watched over Thanksgiving for example, which reminds us to take time and say a little prayer thanking God f

posted 8:32:17am Nov. 24, 2014 | read full post »

What is marriage for?
Hi my friends. With the Holidays once again upon us I think of the gratefulness I have for my wife who has walked with and put up with me for 22 years. That being said I stumbled upon this blog I wrote in Aug of 2009 which is 5 years ago. ( or 12 years ago if you believe in common core math) I

posted 4:11:41pm Nov. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Isn't dead stuff beautiful?
Well fall is finally here and that always brings with it those beautiful colors and symbols that we all cherish and hang on to as a nation. Of course I am referring to blood, corpses and fear. Halloween is right around the corner, I know that because the moment you walk around the corner someone or

posted 5:50:55pm Oct. 30, 2014 | read full post »

Men at work, Women at whine
Did I ever tell you the story about the city of Atlanta taking down the “Men at work” signs from road construction over a complaint by the editor of a feminist magazine that it was discriminatory by not including women? Is nothing too paranoid for the PC-eople? So THAT’S how men have been do

posted 2:46:23pm Sep. 18, 2014 | read full post »


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.