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Everyday Inspiration

Everyday Inspiration

Secret Three of a Happy Marriage: Learn to Resolve Conflicts

posted by Alex Blackwell

resolve conflict

A note from Alex: Welcome to the third post in a new five-part series, The Five Secrets of a Happy Marriage.

The following five secrets have worked very well in my marriage for more than 30 years. Follow these secrets and adapt them to work in your own marriage, and you’ll be on your way to having what we all want – a happy marriage.

1. Communicate
2. Meet each other’s needs
3. Learn to resolve conflicts
4. Grow with each other
5. Maintain a commitment to the marriage

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Third Secret: Learn to Resolve Conflicts

An important characteristic that separates success from failure in a marriage is whether the relationship can resolve conflicts or not. Unless you and your partner are robots or doormats, there will be times when you disagree and times when these disagreements cause tension and pain.

There is no question you shouldn’t tolerate addiction, violence or abuse. But if your partner simply wants something different from you, or does something differently from you, doesn’t mean your partner is wrong – it just means your spouse has different preferences, life experiences and point of view.

Celebrate these differences.

Chances are good it is these very differences that made you fall in love with this person in the first place.

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Would you be rather be right or happy?
Successful couples keep communicating, no matter what may be going on between them. They negotiate differences and disagreements so that they both end up getting something that is important to them. They smile and support each other rather than nag and complain. They understand that loving is more important than winning.

Unfortunately, some spouses do carry the attitude, “I’d rather be right than happy.” Therefore, they live a life of constantly trying to demonstrate they are always right. They must have the last word in an argument and prove their point to the extent it is hurtful and damaging to the other.

This type of behavior does not foster happiness in a relationship, it all breeds resentment. Instead, take a step back and learn to pick your battles. Drop insignificant issues in favor of maintaining harmony and balance in the marriage. Look to change the attitude to, “I just want to be happy.”

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At the end of the day, when you are able to share a bed, touch each other as a symbolic gesture to the emotional commitment of love that exists in the marriage, you both win.

Victory is indeed sweet.

Image Source: Google images

About Alex Blackwell
Alex Blackwell is a father, husband and writer.

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10 Simple Words to Live By

posted by Alex Blackwell

words to live by

“God always gives us a fresh start, it’s called today!” – Buky Ojelabi

Life is complicated enough. You don’t need to make it more complicated by trying to do more, say more or be more than what you know is your true self.

When things get a little crazy, it’s nice to be able to step back and take small steps to make things simpler. In fact, life can be made a little easier if you simplify things. Small, manageable chunks are less intimidating and much easier to wrap your head around.

Here are 10 simple words to live by to help you get through the toughest – and complicated – days.

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Sunday Inspiration #79

posted by Alex Blackwell

Today’s Sunday Inspiration: No matter your past – of the mistakes you have made – or the things you have been told about yourself that aren’t true – believe this: You are worthy to have your heart’s desire.

“We cannot achieve more in life than what we believe in our heart of hearts we deserve to have.” – James R. Ball

heart desire

Image Source: Google Images

About Alex Blackwell
Alex Blackwell is a father, husband and writer.

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Secret Two of a Happy Marriage: Meet Each Other’s Needs

posted by Alex Blackwell

Secret Two of a Happy Marriage

A note from Alex: Welcome to the second post in a new five-part series, The Five Secrets of a Happy Marriage.

The following five secrets have worked very well in my marriage for more than 30 years. Follow these secrets and adapt them to work in your own marriage, and you’ll be on your way to having what we all want – a happy marriage.

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1. Communicate
2. Meet each other’s needs
3. Learn to resolve conflicts
4. Grow with each other
5. Maintain a commitment to the marriage

Second Secret: Meet Each Other’s Needs

Marriage can be demanding and sometimes frustrating. At times, you may find yourself not being courteous to each other. More dangerously, you and your partner could stop seeing each other as important and will begin putting other things, like work, hobbies or the children, before the marriage.

Successful couples; however, always keep the needs of their partner first. To keep the marriage on track, make an effort not to take each other for granted and remember how lucky you are to be married.

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The secret inside the secret of meeting each other’s needs is the real nugget to discover. Simply put, if you focus exclusively on meeting the needs of your spouse, and not your own, you will be rewarded with having your needs met.

To do this, you must trust your spouse and have confidence that your partner is capable of meeting your needs.
More importantly, realize this inner secret will take courage on your part. You must learn to surrender your doubts and insecurities and take a big step outside of your comfort zone. Acknowledge the fear, but remain determined to keep forging ahead.

The dilemma that many people face with this approach is the fear that if they stop asking for their needs to be met, then their needs will stop being met by their spouse. The reality is that the opposite couldn’t be truer.

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Take a step back for a moment and examine your marriage. Forget what you need, or want, and focus on the expressed needs of your husband or wife.

Make an honest assessment if you are doing everything (within reason) to meet those needs. If not, then perhaps you will realize your own needs are not being met either – there is a direct correlation between these two events.

Walk through the doubt, leave your needs there, and begin to focus on your partner. Growth for the marriage, and for you, lives on the other side.

Image Source: Google images

About Alex Blackwell
Alex Blackwell is a father, husband and writer.

Previous Posts

Secret Three of a Happy Marriage: Learn to Resolve Conflicts
A note from Alex: Welcome to the third post in a new five-part series, The Five Secrets of a Happy Marriage. The following five secrets have worked very well in my marriage for more than 30 years. Follow these secrets and adapt them to work ...

posted 12:11:06am Apr. 23, 2015 | read full post »

10 Simple Words to Live By
“God always gives us a fresh start, it’s called today!” - Buky Ojelabi Life is complicated enough. You don't need to make it more complicated by trying to do more, say more or be more than what you know is your true self. When ...

posted 12:17:48am Apr. 21, 2015 | read full post »

Sunday Inspiration #79
Today’s Sunday Inspiration: No matter your past - of the mistakes you have made - or the things you have been told about yourself that aren’t true - believe this: You are worthy to have your heart’s desire. “We cannot achieve more in ...

posted 9:31:14pm Apr. 18, 2015 | read full post »

Secret Two of a Happy Marriage: Meet Each Other's Needs
A note from Alex: Welcome to the second post in a new five-part series, The Five Secrets of a Happy Marriage. The following five secrets have worked very well in my marriage for more than 30 years. Follow these secrets and adapt them to work ...

posted 3:21:06am Apr. 16, 2015 | read full post »

10 Morning Rituals that Bring Inspiration
“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” - Marcus Aurelius Every morning when you wake up, you have a question to ask: What kind of mood are you ...

posted 11:42:07pm Apr. 13, 2015 | read full post »

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