“It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop” – Confucius The enemy waits and listens for your desperation. When you are at the end of your rope and can no longer see or feel what hope looks like, the enemy of your soul pounces on your confidence, shreds […]
A note from Alex: Welcome to the final post in the five-part series, The Five Secrets of a Happy Marriage.
The following five secrets have worked very well in my marriage for more than 30 years. Follow these secrets and adapt them to work in your own marriage, and you’ll be on your way to having what we all want – a happy marriage.
Fifth Secret: Maintain a Commitment to the Marriage
This can be especially difficult today with all of the distractions of our daily lives, but it’s important that you put your marriage first. If you’re committed to making your marriage a success, and you know that your partner shares your commitment, there’s nothing the two of you can’t accomplish.
10 years ago my wife, Mary Beth, and I were separated with the prospects of saving our marriage looking bleak at best. Both of us were hurt and disappointed by the other. I owned the majority of the issues that caused us to separate in the first place.
For years, my primary commitment was on my career and not on my family and marriage. I allowed my career to control my focus and ignored the numerous warning signs that were obvious to everyone except for me. My wake-up call came almost too late.
After nine months of separation, a slow reconciliation process ensued. It was hard for both of us to trust one another and to let go of the baggage of the past. The reconciliation period ended with Mary Beth and me renewing our wedding vows and making a new commitment to our love, our marriage and to one another.
Today, my marriage is far from perfect but the rock my wife and I go back to for strength is our commitment to the marriage. We are both committed to watch out for each other’s’ needs. But, the fine line we have learned to live in order to nurture our marriage and ourselves is to allow each other the space and freedom to grow independently of our relationship, then, at the end of the day, we come back together to share our day and ourselves.
Our commitment, then, is to give love and respect to the other as the first priority.
The natural and authentic result of this is a good marriage grounded in realistic expectations and values. I can’t think of a better way to show my love and honor my wife, and my marriage
Image Source: Google images