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A Reason to Smile

A Reason to Smile

How to let go of pain and move on

posted by B. Dave Walters

If you look at your life, you might start to notice a pattern emerge: Certain kinds of relationships, certain kinds of job

it really is that simple

it really is that simple

situations, certain kinds of body difficulties, and all sorts of other things.  Sometimes these patterns can work to our advantage, but more often than not, it’s the same sorts of problems that occur again and again.

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It’s all too easy to give into bitterness and blame other people for our troubles, but once it becomes clear that not everyone has these problems, there must be a way out. More often than not our problems are rooted in the past; in our own unresolved baggage, issues, and trauma.   But if there is a problem, there is also a solution (just like Buddha told us with the Four Noble Truths)!

In a recent episode of Rise UP with B. Dave Walters we talked about  how to stop making yourself miserable, what to do when the thing doesn’t make you happy, how to get unstuck; how to deal with painful emotions, release painful memories, and much, much, more! Click here to listen.

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Give this a listen and find out how to release the things that are weighing you down, so you can move on and fly free.

What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Become a supporter of my work: http://www.patreon.com/bdavewalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha — Interfaith dialog

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Gnostic Theism — Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another — A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

  

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Q&A: Love, Death, and Magic with Tomas Prower

posted by B. Dave Walters
Tomas Prower, author of La Santa Muerte: Unearthing the Magic & Mysticism of Death

Tomas Prower, author of La Santa Muerte: Unearthing the Magic & Mysticism of Death

Tomas Prower is the author of La Santa Muerte: Unearthing the Magic & Mysticism of Death, a book about how to

tap into the power of the Ultimate Mystery to bring peace and healing into your life.

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In this exclusive interview series, we discuss the ‘true’ meaning of Death, and how it gives meaning to life; how to go about creating the life that you really desire, why so many feel powerless and unhappy, and much, much, more.

These are the first 3 parts of our interview series, but you can find the complete audio recordings here.

 

Part 1:
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Part 2:
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Part 3:
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What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

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Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Become a supporter of my work: http://www.patreon.com/bdavewalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha — Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism — Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another — A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

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Exclusive interview with Radhika Vekaria of Temperheart

posted by B. Dave Walters

TemperheartRadhika Vekaria is one half of the singer/songwriter duo TemperHeart. Ms. Vekaria left behind a successful career in England in order to move to Los Angeles and pursue her lifelong dream of being a professional singer.  In this exclusive interview series, we discuss how to go about creating the life that you really desire, the number one reason why most people are unhappy, why most people are unhappy, and much, much, more.

These are the first 3 parts of our interview series, but you can find the complete audio recordings here.

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Part 1:
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Part 2:
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Part 3:
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What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Become a supporter of my work: http://www.patreon.com/bdavewalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha — Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism — Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

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Love One Another — A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

  

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Q&A: I’m struggling with online dating; help!

posted by B. Dave Walters

Question submitted via About.me/BDaveWalters:
“Okay, your post said if I am struggling with online dating to message you. Here I am struggling with online dating!

It's time to change the game!

It’s time to change the game!

My problem is that I’m not attracting people I am interested in. Maybe it’s the site, or my profile, I’m not sure. Help!”

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Online dating is a wonderful thing, since it removes time and space from the dating equation.  In the past, the only way to meet someone was to be in the same place, at the same time, have an attraction, and a chance to interact.  Now, thanks to the power of the internet, you can sit back and ‘custom order’ that special someone.

However, first and foremost you have to understand how men think, and once you understand that, look at who you are being in the relationship.  The reason why this is, is even if you found the right man today, but you don’t understand him or how to relate to him properly, you’ll lose him anyway.  So it’s better to look at this as a time to prepare yourself to create the exact kind of relationship you want to have.

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Once you are clear on those things, ask yourself, exactly what kind of man are you looking for?  Is he tall or short?  Very fit and active, or a stay at home type guy?  What does he do for a living, or at least what kind of money does he make? If you want to meet a grad student who works at Starbucks, you’ll have to do very different things than what it takes to meet a 45 year old surgeon.

Once you know the kind of man you are looking for, then you can start to ask yourself if the sites you are on, are the kinds of sites he’ll be on.  Wealthy men aren’t on PlentyOfFish, and guys looking to settle down aren’t on hookup sites, like Tindr, either.  Once you figure out the sites you want to setup profiles on, then you need to look at how you’re presenting yourself.  Again, if you want to date a music producer, dressing like a school teacher in your photos is probably not going to catch his attention.  By the same token, if you look like a video vixen in all your photos, don’t expect to attract high-end men who value you for your personality.

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If you aren’t sure what to say about yourself in your profile, ,ask your closest friends what they love most about you, and emphasize those things; be sure to ask men what they think, since it’s a man who’s attention you are trying to catch.

One last, but definitely not least thing: Do not lie about anything in your profile! Don’t say you love ‘camping, and quiet evenings at home’ if you don’t.  Don’t say you are into jogging and going to football games if you aren’t.  Your job is to figure out your best mate, and present your best self in a place where he’s likely to see it, and everything else will take care of itself.

What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

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B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Become a supporter of my work: http://www.patreon.com/bdavewalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha — Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism — Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

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Love One Another — A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

  

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The Reason for the Season; Or, Would Jesus Celebrate Christmas?

posted by B. Dave Walters

12359991_1169559669739607_2901022396509338385_nOn a recent episode of my radio show, Rise UP with B. Dave Walters we discussed the true meaning of Christmas, and how to deal with some of the negative emotions that can come along with it.  I got so emotional while talking about the meaning of Christmas that I cried on the radio; something I didn’t think was possible!

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We have also talked about some of the more…controversial aspects of religion, such as whether or not it’s a sin to be gay or whether or not pornography or masturbation are sins, too.

So of course, now it’s time to take on Christmas.

First, let me be clear about one very important thing: Christmas is the most important day of the year, and I believe that the birth of Jesus Christ is the most important event in human history.

Just not for the reasons that you have been told.

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So before we can answer if Jesus himself would celebrate this holiday, we have to look at why he *wouldn’t*.

My own personal path has evolved from rejecting any of the pagan elements of the Holiday (and there are several), to being disgusted by the commercialism of Christmas, to where it is now.  So let us look at each of these in turn, and how I see it now.

First, the Pagan elements of Christmas:

It is important to understand that Christmas trees, Yule logs, singing carols, giving gifts and having holiday feasts were done for a very long time before Jesus was born.  People have been celebrating the ‘birth of God’ on December 25th for thousands of years.  Add to that the fact that there is substantial evidence that Jesus wasn’t born on December 25th, but sometime in September.

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Here is an excellent (and a little scary) video that gives a short overview about how many elements of Christianity come from earlier religious traditions.  It is important to note: understanding history doesn’t mean you aren’t a Christian, it just means you are informed.

The fact is yes, MANY elements of this celebration were borrowed from other places; but after 2,000 years they are our traditions now.  Anyone who truly wishes to celebrate the way the first Christmas was only needs to go out and do it in a barn!

Second, the commercialization of Christmas:

It is hard to deny that Christmas is big business.

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Considering most of our economy is built upon convincing you that you aren’t good enough, it follows naturally that Christmas marketing centers around trying to spend money to fight that fear.

Somewhere along the way, we lost track of giving gifts to show our loved ones that we care, to trying to buy their love and approval.   Ask yourself, when you went Christmas shopping this year, how often did you think about how much they would love and appreciate the gift, and how good it would make you feel to give it?  Or how much did you think about giving gifts because you HAD to?  Because if you didn’t, or didn’t spend enough, what would they say?

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Chances are you did a bit of both, and any parent knows there is no feeling on Earth like seeing your children’s faces light up when they open up that special gift.  I would simply invite you to keep the love and appreciation you are trying to express at the front of your mind instead of the commercialism.  Rather than just give the gifts, or even writing it in a card, try telling someone how much they mean to you and how much you care.

That is a real gift.

So, what is the true meaning of Christmas?

I opened this article by saying Christmas is the most important day of the year, and I believe that the birth of Jesus Christ is the most important event in human history; now let me tell you why.

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Because no matter how much has been added or subtracted to it over the years, Christmas symbolizes the fact that God opened a way for people to be able to connect with Him completely and directly.  It also celebrates the birth and life of a man who was so completely filled with the Spirit that he provided us with an example we could use to pattern our lives around in order to server God and our fellow human beings.

So would Jesus celebrate Christmas?

Well, the obvious answer is no, he’d be celebrating Hanukkah because he was Jewish!  But, for his 33 years on Earth I am sure he celebrated his own birth; but if he were here in the flesh today he would probably do things much differently.

It is clear in the Gospels that Jesus enjoyed celebrating and having a good time, but it is also clear that he kept serving God at the center of his heart.  So whether he observed Hanukkah as an observant Jew, or Christmas as a Christian is actually secondary to the fact that he would remind us of all the tremendous blessing God has given us, and how important it is to keep that love and gratitude at the forefront of our hearts and at the center of our lives.

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I want to leave you with something special: the greatest story ever told.  It’s about a young girl chosen by God, her new husband, and a tiny baby they brought into the world in the humblest of surroundings; in a barn surrounded by animals.  That little baby would grow up to teach us to love one another fearlessly; and to forgive anyone who has slighted us.

To always work to be a blessing to our fellow human beings, because God has so richly blessed us.

So now, I wish you peace, love, and happiness; peace on Earth and good will towards men.   I truly love you, and thank God for you every single day.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones.

The Birth of Jesus (Luke 2:1-21):

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1 In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2 (This was the first census that took place while[a] Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 And everyone went to their own town to register.

4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. 6 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.

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13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,  and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. 20 The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

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21 On the eighth day, when it was time to circumcise the child, he was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he was conceived.”

 

What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Become a supporter of my work: http://www.patreon.com/bdavewalters

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Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha — Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism — Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another — A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

  

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Thankfulness During Difficult Times (Video)

posted by B. Dave Walters

Everyday should be Thanksgiving

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the U.S., but I want to take some time out from cooking turkey to have a quick talk about what you’re grateful for.

On a recent episode of Rise UP with B. Dave Walters: Simple Answers to Life’s Hard Questions we talked about “Hope During Dark Times”:

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Why World War 3 isn’t breaking out, how to stop being afraid, where anxiety comes from and how peace can be found; the one and only place to find happiness, how and why bad things happen in the world if human beings are innately good (and we are), and much, much, more!

Click here to listen.

So for now, let me say that even though Thanksgiving is set aside as a day to give thanks you should take some time every day to review all the things you’re thankful for.

Just in case you don’t realize how good you’ve got it, here, in no particular order, are 10 great things you may not have considered:

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1.You woke up this morning
This one seems simple but the fact is thousands, if not millions of people woke up this morning and didn’t know it was their last. Just being alive is a tremendous blessing, and means you still have at least a little more time to enjoy your life and everything in it.

2.You can see and hear
If you are reading this, that means you can probably see! If I get around to recording a podcast of this, we can find out if you can hear, too! For my blind or deaf Brothers and Sisters out there, you can still be grateful for the fact that you live in a time where technology exists that still lets you live an independent and self-sufficient existence.

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3.No one shot at you today
It’s very easy to take for granted that you don’t live in some sort of a war zone. Right now millions of people live in a constant state of fear that some sort of violence will break out, and if you aren’t one of them you should be thankful. Realize that some of those people live right here in this country!
The fact that we have police and military who are willing and able to protect us and come to our aid in and emergency is a luxury that not everyone has.

4.You didn’t go to bed hungry
Self explanatory, but I can guarantee unless you live in an ultra wealthy area, someone within 1 mile, if not 1 block of you, did go to bed without enough to eat.

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5.You have a roof over your head
Whether or not you live in your dream home, it is probably a lot nicer than a park bench or an underpass!

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6.You’re healthy
We all have our bumps, bruises, and issues; but by healthy, I mean you haven’t been diagnosed with a terminal illness. If you have been diagnosed with something, refer to the earlier points: you’re still alive and have access to healing the likes of which the world has never seen!

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7.You got educated for free
Kindergarten through 12th Grade education was probably yours on Uncle Sam’s nickel. Remember, large portions of the world will never even get to learn to read, much less read Shakespeare or Voltaire.

8.You can decide who and what you want to be
Economic down turn aside, if you live in the “Western” world, you have a level of freedom and self-determination that people would be willing to die to have (and many do just that trying to get what you were born into!)

9.You know someone loves you
If you can’t think of at least one person who loves you (including dogs and cats), then at least know that God loves you and so do I!

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10.You live in the single greatest time in history to be alive
There has never been a better time to be alive then this.
Technology has made it possible to travel further in a few hours than we could have in months by horse, train, or ship. Hollywood studios spend hundreds of millions of dollars just to entertain you for a couple of hours! All the knowledge of the world is available at your finger tips through the wonder of the World Wide Web.

And, in case you don’t believe me that you’re lucky to be here right now, I have a simple test:
Is there anyone on this Earth that you’d be willing to switch places with, 100%? And I don’t just mean their fame or fortune, everything. You give up all your friends, all your family, everyone you know and everything you’ve got to take on their life. Their face, their body, their ups and downs.

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For all the people I’ve ever asked this question, the answer is always no. If you think the answer is yes, message me  and we’ll talk about it.

Otherwise, there you have it; plenty of things to hit your knees and give thanks for.  I’ve attached a short video to help you keep things in perspective, too.

Enjoy your Holiday, and have some extra cranberries for me!

 

What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

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Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Become a supporter of my work: http://www.patreon.com/bdavewalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha — Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism — Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another — A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

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Making use of the last Super Moon of 2015

posted by B. Dave Walters

October 27 will mark the last of three consecutive ‘Super Moon’ full moons of 2015. This month has already been a very high-energy time, which may have resulted in thin skins, and more than a few sleepless nights. 

Beautiful, isn't it?

Beautiful, isn’t it?

This full moon will be in the sign of Taurus, which brings our focus to things like finance, and concrete, tangible things.  The Sun, however, will be in the sign of Scorpio, which deals with emotions, sensations, and pleasure among other things.  This could result in conflicts between what we want, and what we know we can afford; do you really need those shoes?  Is that big date night outing really in the budget?

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Full moons are always a time for introspection, but this one will be especially powerful.  Because Venus, Mars, and Jupiter are all in Virgo, emotions will easily bubble to the surface.  ‘I love you’ will be easy to say, but be careful, because getting angry and lashing out will be just as easy.

And finally, as always Taurus is the sign of stubbornness; be wary of people digging in their heels and refusing to budge, especially if they aren’t getting what they want.  And be just as careful to make sure you aren’t the one who’s being unreasonable!

What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

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Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Become a supporter of my work: http://www.patreon.com/bdavewalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha — Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism — Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another — A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

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Making use of the September supermoon eclipse

posted by B. Dave Walters

This Sunday night at 10:11 PM EST / 2:11 AM GMT there will be quite a sight visible in the night sky:  The largest full, or ‘supermoon’ of the year, combined with a total lunar eclipse.  Full moons are always powerful and supermoons are especially so; adding in the energy of the eclipse is going to create a high-energy time that will be affecting us all for months to come.

This won't happen again until 2033!

This won’t happen again until 2033!

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The physical reality of what’s happening is first, this will be a total lunar eclipse, which means the Earth will be between the Sun and the Moon, casting its shadow over it. Second, the Moon is going to get as close to the Earth as it gets in its orbit this year, creating an unusually large and bright full Moon.  Third, as the first full Moon after the Equinox, this is also known as the ‘Harvest Moon’, which traditionally heralded that it was time to bring the crops in.

Now, before we discuss the energetic reality of what’s happening, two points:  First, this is just the flow of energy that’s going on around us right now; think of it more like a weather report than anything set in stone.  And second, the flow of energy doesn’t come on or off like a light switch; the flow will begin tonight, but will affects for days, weeks, and possibly even months to come.

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Eclipses always mark times of transition; endings, and new beginnings.  This doesn’t have to be a particularly painful time, unless we are holding on too tightly to things that are better off being released.  If you feel tears coming up during this time, don’t fight it; just let go and release whatever is coming up.  Once again, the pain can only come from holding on too tightly when you need to let go!

Most of what’s going on right now is in the area of relationships, and the resolution of events that were set in motion months ago.  The supermoon eclipse is going to happen in Aries, the sign of forceful, direct, and aggressive action.  The Sun, however, will be in peaceful Libra, which is concerned with peace, harmony, and balance above all else.  As you can imagine, this might create times that feel like having our foot on the gas and the brake at the same time, and the key will be to balance inner drive with outer peace and calm.

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The interactions of the other planets are going to be pumping more energy into our relationships, specifically redefining our connections to other people and our boundaries.  This is an excellent time to say all the things that you both know, but no one is saying.  This is a great time to begin new relationship, or begin the process of moving on from ones that have run their course.

And don’t forget, our old friend Mercury is still retrograde, negatively impacting communication, especially in the area of relationships, so don’t be too hard on anyone who gets flustered easily or has trouble explaining how they really feel, or what they really mean.

The best thing you can do during this time is to take action of some sort; anything you know you ‘should’ be doing but haven’t, start it now.  And above all else, don’t just talk: DO something!

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No matter what, if you have the opportunity to get outside to see the eclipse, be sure to do it; this exact combination won’t happen again until the year 2033!

What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Become a supporter of my work: http://www.patreon.com/bdavewalters

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Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha — Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism — Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

Love One Another — A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

  

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Making use of the August 2015 supermoon

posted by B. Dave Walters

Starting on Saturday, August 29th we’ll be experiencing one of the six major ‘supermoons’ of the year, a time when the moon is especially close to the Earth and the full moon effects are particularly strong.

This month’s supermoon will be in Pisces, making this an especially powerful time for art and creativity.  If there are any projects involving art or self-expression that you’ve been putting off, *now* is the time to start them!

Don't miss your window!

Don’t miss your window!

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This is also a particularly powerful time for empathy, and connecting not just with your own inner world, but with the inner worlds of other people. Sensitivity will be especially high, so be wary of people acting particularly thin-skinned, but trust your hunches about what it is that may be bothering them.

Also, play particularly close attention to your dreams over the weekend and early into next week, this is about as strong as the connection between your conscious and subconscious minds is going to get, and as such your dreams may be particularly strong and insightful.

Because the sun will be in Virgo, there will be a push and pull between inner ego needs from Virgo, and inner emotional needs from Pisces.  The placement of the planets—Jupiter and Neptune in particular—will magnify this.  There may be a lot of interest in talking about deeper emotional topics, but if you find the conversations getting overly analytical or critical, it’s time to change the subject!

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Above all else, this is a great time for introspection.  This is going to be one of the best times of the year to ask yourself what you really want, and what you really want to release.  Take the time to look inside, and pay close attention to what you find.  And above all else, don’t ignore or dismiss your own emotions; if you don’t respect your feelings, you can’t really expect anyone else to, either.

One word of warning, though: For those who consider themselves to already be sensitive and/or empathic, this boost in energy might prove to be a bit overwhelming, leading them to find ways to self-medicate; so if you, or anyone you know falls into this category, be careful out there.

Luckily enough, if anyone you know is going into overwhelm, chances are very high that you’ll be able to sense it, too.

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What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!

You are great, and I love you!
And if you love me back, click ‘share’ up at the top!

B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

Ask me anything: http://formspring.me/BDaveWalters

Become a supporter of my work: http://www.patreon.com/bdavewalters

Pages I support:
Jesus and Buddha — Interfaith dialog

Gnostic Theism — Religion and Spirituality for the 21st Century (Join the Movement!)

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Love One Another — A group for the coolest Spiritual people on the Internet!

  

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Q&A – “I don’t want to share my life with him anymore….

posted by B. Dave Walters
When it's over, it's over.

When it’s over, it’s over.

Question submitted via Formspring.me:
“I have split recently with my partner of 12 years. He demands to know what goes on in my life and who I am seeing. I don’t want to share my life with him anymore but he gets really angry with me if I don’t. How do I draw a line w/out making him angry?”

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Unless he’s the abusive type, what difference does it make if he’s upset?
And if he is an abuser, then you are right to have left him in the first place.

Do you have children together? If you do, then you’ll have to find a way to coexist with this man, since he will always be their father, and that means he’ll always be in your life. I suggest sitting down with him, somewhere public (since he’s less likely to flip out in public). Explain to him that your relationship is over, that you’re still partners as parents but that is all; and what you do with your own time is your own business.

If you *don’t * have children, you can still sit him down to have that talk, or not; since as I said before: unless he’s an abuser, what difference does it make what he thinks?
No matter what, your relationship is over, you don’t have to give him updates on your life, whether or not he throws tantrums like a little kid. If he does things that make you fear for your safety, call the police and do whatever else you need to do to protect yourself, but know that him checking up on you is just another way of trying to maintain control.

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It’s going to take quite a bit of time and distance before you can be friends if ever; the best thing is probably to cut him off cold turkey for a while and see if you even want to have any sort of dialog with him somewhere in the future.

Bottom line: you don’t owe him any explanations; if he chooses to get upset about that, it’s his problem not yours.

Keep us posted on how it turns out.

What do you think? Feel free to comment down below!

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B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

Find out more about me: http://about.me/BDaveWalters

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