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Long before my divorce, I first had to face the demise of my marriage. I have a great girlfriend who fortunately was there at the time to set me straight. In true victim fashion, I bemoaned my loss. Why me? Why my marriage? Why my husband? Why my children? Why my family? Why?! Why?! Why?!…

Every once in a while, someone asks me if writing about divorce keeps me stuck. On the contrary, it is the one place I feel free. Where he can’t control me. It’s cathartic –  and when I hear from divorcing individuals who say they have found a safe haven it makes me happy. It was…

I like to joke that I have switched from nightmares to what I call ‘Divorcemares.’ And they have run the gammet from the mortgage company knocking at my door to claim my house to remarrying my soon to be ex-husband. Dreams are complicated AND therefore, ‘Divorcemares’ are SUPER complicated. On a good night, I no longer…

In the beginning of my divorce, I remember having lunch with two of my girlfriends.  “Why does this always happen to the kindest women?” One asked while the other agreed. “It’s not kindness,” I replied. “There are plenty of kind women who are happily married. It is kindness with zero boundaries and a lack of…

I remember in the beginning of my divorce standing in my doctor’s office. At that point, I had been in the emergency room several times with surface blood clots. I have a very non-invasive blood condition which unless I was to have surgery, was a smoker or took hormone replacements shouldn’t be a problem. At…

Today I took my sweet little ‘Phyllis’ for her very first veterinary appointment. That’s what we decided to name her. It suits her. And ‘Hazel’ and ‘Phyllis’ just fit together perfectly. A couple of little ole ladies. If I didn’t already believe ‘Phyllis’ was meant to be ours now I am certain. It turns out…

I remember hugging my friend when she lost her mother. “I wish you knew my mom,” she said. “I did know your mom,” I replied. “Because I know you.” I could grasp what she was trying to convey. My friend loved her mother so much she wanted me to identify both the love and the…

When you are getting a divorce you involve all the people who love you. They worry. It’s natural. When you experience a marathon – ‘divorce on steroids’ they worry more AND you exhaust them. I spent my whole life making responsible decisions. That is, minus a few my high school and college BFF’s might be…

I always say, “If I like you great. If I respect you – even better.” Divorce is a process. At first, it appears to present overwhelming losses, yet in many ways, it is emotionally clear cutting your life. Of course, through the tears and the tissues, this can be tremendously difficult to see.  Divorce is…

I remember the day I sat in my marriage counselor’s office and declared, “I will do anything to save my marriage. Anything! Just tell me what to do.” I was so naive. I believed one person could care enough for two. I alone would find a way to fix our marital problems. I honestly don’t…
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