How Great Thou Part

I like to joke that I have switched from nightmares to what I call ‘Divorcemares.’

And they have run the gammet from the mortgage company knocking at my door to claim my house to remarrying my soon to be ex-husband. Dreams are complicated AND therefore, ‘Divorcemares’ are SUPER complicated.

On a good night, I no longer sleep well.

When these scenarios break through my slumber I wake up especially traumatized…Did I say that? I mean tired. 


The good news?

My ‘Divorcemares’ are making way for ‘Futuremares.’

In my very first ‘Futuremare’ I was out having a great time with my girlfriend I like to call ‘Oprah.’ It was like old times. All we were doing was laughing. We couldn’t stop and we couldn’t help ourselves.

Then in walked my soon to be ex with his new girlfriend.

I turn to ‘Oprah’ and joyfully explain this is “Ashley.”

‘Oprah’ tells me if he is dating I better get on it. Who are my prospects? If you knew ‘Oprah’ you would understand. She’s on top of things.

Reality breaks through my ‘Futuremare.’

Wow! Turns out I am super ‘dream generous!’ I mean do you know an ‘Ashley’ over the age of thirty??!!

I have gifted my soon to be ex a young girlfriend in my ‘Futuremare.’

What’s up with that?

Am I hoping she will be around long enough to definitely take care of him or am I just much nicer in my dream world?

It’s like the remarrying my ex ‘Divorcemare’ – just better to not put too much thought into it.

That is, except for ‘Oprah’s’ advice. 

I better get on it – the soon to be dating world.

At least in the hemisphere of ‘Futuremares.’

Do you know any under thirty men’s names?

After all, it only seems fair.


(Photos courtesy of Pexels)

Follow me on Facebook @Colleen Orme National Columnist on Twitter @colleenorme
on Pinterest @colleensheehyorme










Join the Discussion
comments powered by Disqus