Sassy Spirit

Sassy Spirit

The Art of Saying No

posted by jperry

Oh, ladies especially. . .don’t you just love saying no. I mean saying no is so empowering, but so damn hard sometimes, except with our children, of course. It comes really easily to some women, but not to me, so I had to study the art of saying no by seeing how others did it.  I’ve watched business women my whole life, starting with my mom. I’ve also seen women portrayed on TV as the bitchy business-like vixen type, think Alexis Carrington.  I reference Dynasty a lot, I can’t help it, I was a child of the 8o’s. I wanted to be like that strong, fierce woman. I didn’t want to hurt anyone though and could see how those “types” often destroyed their lives from the inside out.   Due to having this tough façade, their pretty smile and mean attitude, with their guard up permanently, things seem effortless. When you’re young, you secretly wanted to be that mean girl who says no for sport, because life seems easier for her and more fun.  She never seemed to get her feels hurt.  I was the opposite. I wanted to be liked and seen as nice. Which meant I did not have healthy boundaries and couldn’t say no. In my twenties, I would be in a conversation and wouldn’t want to seem weird, weak, or wrong so I’d keep my mouth shut when I didn’t agree. Or I’d get crazy mad if someone pushed my buttons and I felt stupid, attacked, embarrassed or talked down to. I didn’t have a healthy no. I didn’t know how to be fierce and loving. I was a people pleaser with a lot of resentment.

I see lots of woman that struggle like I have, working on with that love in their heart/ fourth chakra (self-love related and living through love versus fear) and power in the solar plexus/third charka (worthiness and owning your brilliance). Standing up for yourself with love is key. This does not matter if anyone likes it. This is your life.  I’ve read thyroid imbalances are linked to this as well,  Standing up for yourself in ALL areas of your life and verbalizing it.  You can be kind and powerful.

I’ve found that women who are not used to standing up for themselves and saying no will often overshoot this in the beginning. They’ll give a no that comes out wrong and feels like a heavy force. This is after they’ve tried the over-explaining no route that’s littered with sorry’s and self-deprecation. The “No, that won’t work for me” is the freedom route. You have to try it on like a business suit if you’ve never worn one before. At first it feels uncomfortable and not like you at all. You may try a different style and tweak it with accessories, your own special flavor, until you wearin’ the suit and not the other way around. Pretty soon, you’re ownin’ it. You might outgrow that suit, find it isn’t appropriate for the occasion or new situation, and you’ll get a new one.

If it’s too hard for you and it’s safer to say yes when you reallymean no to people, think about your kids. This affects them if you say yes to everyone and you’re frazzled and mad which means you deprive them of the happy, loving mom they yearn for. And here’s a biggie which I have been guilty of, you don’t say no and it bottles up and all of a sudden your kid asks for a popsicle for the third time and you reply like a tiger. Like a tiger breathing fire and they look at you like you are possessed. You actually are, by your own fears, doubts, limitations, but when you know that you finally want to stand in your truth, you will. It builds day by day, as you make different choices. Your habits and choices become patterns and stories, which ultimately become your life.

Some may be feeling they need to say yes to more in life and live outside of their comfort zone. I agree. It’s a balance.  People will make you wrong for saying yes or no, which is why you must be certain of your gut feeling.  It tells you the answer.  Others may try to argue about your feelings or reality, even though in none of their business.  Sometimes saying no to someone else is really just saying yes to yourself. I’m learning in business, I must learn to say no, even more than yes, so I’m clear. Clarity comes from knowing what you don’t want. Everyone must cultivate the art of saying no for themselves. Start right now. Your life is the canvas and you’re the paintbrush. Next time, ask yourself is it a HELL YES or a HELL NO?  You know.  Deep down, you always do.

Mercury What?

posted by jperry

What does Mercury Retrograde mean? This is when the planet Mercury slows down, and appears to stop (station) and move backward (retrograde). It’s an optical illusion, since there is forward movement, like speeding by a slow-moving train, as it recedes, it appears to go backward.  It’s fun to read up on stuff and feel what is right and true to you. Observe and be aware.  People fear it and dread it. Here’s how I see it:

You must be patient. Miscommunication with technology and with people. Error messages and glitches may occur.  Posts, emails, anything related to computers can go. . .POOF! Hey, that’s life.  It’s not the end of the world. It’s not a time to fear, resolve old stuff. Tie up loose ends and finish projects. Declutter. Delete emails. Check stuff off your year long to-do lists. It is advised not to start new projects or sign agreements, but I’m a live on the wild side girl, I say go with your gut. The way I see it is that if you’re doing anything that the “idea” was even talked about before then you’re cool. Create your own magic anyway, lovies.

Remember, we can see from our perspective and will not all be on the same page. No one can make you argue. Drama blinds you. Stand in your truth with love. Know your intention. Forgive. Cut cords. Send blessings to those you have a grievance with. Everyone is going through their own stuff, whether they realize it or not. When you energy dips lower, find a way to pray, chant, dance, laugh, cry, or meditate your way to higher ground. From a higher/broader viewpoint, your Higher Self takes the High road energetically. This astrologically can feel messy, like when you clean out your closet. Recognize when you are having an interaction that feels like old stuff. It is. Love that place that s triggered. Every negative bump in your road can serve you. Treat it as a gift to unwrap. It’s a chance to know who you are. Collectively we may all feel/sense the same things, but radiate your Light and broadcast your own frequency because this is YOUR life. No one else defines it or you. Power struggles rile the ego, which in your spiritual quest, you may vilify. No need. We’re all people…with egos and spirits, which much up our beautiful beings You are not who you were yesterday and neither am I or anyone else.

I personally will always give people second chances and will meet them with fresh eyes and open heart, no matter what others have chirped in my ear about them. I bless all my interactions and relationships also. When I veer from this intention, I know. Standing in my truth, I root in love, and then I act, without regards to whether this looks pretty. Truth and integrity is beautiful.

Center yourself in the space between your thoughts. Stop. Take a deep breath. In that space is a connection to peace. It’s always there.  Get in touch with the deeper you. Blessings to all.

Grace Feels Good

posted by jperry

What is grace?  One definition is:  Beauty, physical, intellectual, or moral; loveliness; commonly, easy elegance of manners; perfection of form is the definition in Webster’s 1913 Dictionary that reminds me of literally Grace Kelly.

I had been searching for a definition to clearly state my feeling of the word. Nothing would suffice. Until I looked at the 1913 dictionary. Go figure.

This is the closest I could get to the energy of it for me: The exercise of love, kindness, mercy, favor; disposition to benefit or serve another; favor bestowed or privilege conferred.

Looking up “grace” in the faith I was raised in, Catholicism, was not the right fit for my truth related to this word, space, and vibe. A state of grace is one free on sin, which I never related to that word, sin, anyway. It had a pointing fingers feeling and a separation from God thing going on. One CCD teacher actually told one of my children when they were in the program, that if they didn’t go to church, they were ripped from God. I was infuriated. Seven year olds can’t drive, so don’t shame them if they can’t physically get to church. No one comes in between us and God. Going to confession as child made me feel pure and that I was in the clear for a while.  As I grew, my understanding was that I was going to learn lessons in life and not try to force myself to never make a mistake.

As I searched more about this word “grace” it was down the google search engine rabbit hole, I went. I have always loved learning about religions, beliefs, healing, and expanding my mind about consciousness. I read about the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, adhisthana is translated as jinlap, which literally means “splendor wave” and is sometimes translated “grace-waves” to convey a sense of atmosphere descending toward the practitioner from the enlightened lineage of teachers to those in his company. Jinlap is a more Tibetan form of the more widely known Japanese system of healing called Reiki.  Jinlap is Universal Life Energy which is the same energy that naturally flows through human beings, plants, and animals.

Jinlap is the phonetic translation of a Sanskrit blessing, which means “to be transformed through inspiring magnificence.” It’s like a stream of blessings. When I feel I am in the space of grace, my heart (and heart chakra) are open and I radiate love. It can be when I’m driving and I’m in deep appreciation for the sunshine and I send blessings to the whole world. I’ll say prayers and just talk to God in my head or sometimes aloud. There is no separation between me and God, unless I forget. My Higher self, the sacred soul space that all of us have, is God energy. It’s Divine magnificence embodied. When you’re in this space, you see how much good there is in the world, and that you want to add goodness, love, and kindness to everyone you meet. But there is also a fierceness within that comes with grace that will not stand for things and speaks truth for those who can’t.  Like a God helper of sorts.  Think Gandhi and Mother Teresa.

Grace feels good because it’s our true nature. Grace is love.  I look at my newborn baby and se her God-ness, my little Goddess smiles and she graces me. She is grace.  That energy is in her eyes as they sparkle and her smile as it lights up a room.  She put me in a space of grace.  It can be achieved through mediation, playing with a puppy, kissing your baby, walking in nature, singing, or anything that makes you feel so alive and your vibe is high.  Not an intense, danger or anxious feeling but rather light and soft.  Play with grace.  Make grace a part of your life.  It’s one of the paths to happiness.  Being nice feels good, so start with first being nice to yourself.  Grace will ripple blessings out to your whole tribe circle and into the world.

How to Drive Yourself Crazy

posted by jperry

It doesn’t take long to get to Crazytown and you don’t need a fancy GPS system. That usually only gives you three possible routes. The map I’ll share with you has ten possible ways, think of them as directions to insanity.

1. Peeps Business Road-Needing to have an opinion on everyone else’s life, decisions, clothes, job, business. . . you name it. This road gets you there quick.

2. Perfection Vista-Trying to be perfect at anything and everything. If you blink, you’re already there, cause this gets you there twice as quick.

3. Mind reader Drive-Expecting other people to know how you feel, think, or what you want. They are in their own experience and this particular path is a slower route to get there, but lots of scenery of resentment, anger, disconnection, and passive aggressive behavior to entertain you with.

4. Never Happy Ave-Wanting things to be different in order for you to be happy. You need to lose weight, get a better job, or make more money or you won’t be happy.    This is a road that doesn’t take you that long to get to Crazytown, but it’s very crowded with lots of other people going the same way as you. Other drivers can distract you, during all the traffic  jams, but most people just create more to-do lists of more things they need to make them happy in their life.

5. Should Valley-Thinking people/life should be fair or nice. “Should” is killer for good vibes most often.   It has a lot of hills to drive up on this one.  You think you’re almost there and it’s a trick, then there’s another hill and you never feel like you’re going to get there.

6. Past Highway-Living in the past. Traffic here can be like rush hour with people living in drama from the past, but lighter in volume with people in the living in their happy “hey day” memories. Neither one live in the present, so the destination is the same.

7. Comparison Court-Comparing yourself to others will get you there faster than teleportation.

8. Control Freak Lane-Controlling other people. It is inherent in our nature to seek freedom. Any sort of repression and we will eventually rebel when the pressure either breaks our spirit or we fight back.  You cannot control everyone so this is the slowest route to Crazytown, depending on the passenger you take with that you’re trying to control.

9. Paranoia Path-Being paranoid or thinking everyone else is out to get you/bad. You’ll miss out on things this way, but this like driving a sports car 0-60 in 2.5 seconds.

10. Self-neglect Place-Not taking care of yourself. This is the equivalent to walking there, in it’s slow pace. If you throw a frog in boiling water, it will jump out. If you raise the temperature slowly, it won’t know the boiling point has been reached until it’s too late. . .you’re at Crazy town.

By the way, at any point you can make a U-turn, get off at the first exit, or park in the side of the road and decide on another destination.  Happy land is beautiful any time of the year.  I highly recommend it.  The theory of the frog in the pot is considered false, but what I read is they experimented. . .gross. . .with this in the 1800′s and if they turned up the heat super slow, they kept adjusted and didn’t notice and died.  But if the heat was turned up quick, the frogs were aware of the danger and reacted by trying to get out.

I think we all get our red flags and inner knowing when our energy is off.  We might not know to change things, but if we’re really honest, we know we need to.  Listen to your soul nudges. Write down changes you want to make in your life.  How do you want to feel?  Ask from help from God, Universe, angels, your guides and Higher Self.  You are driving the car and never forget you hold the steering wheel and your foot can always decide on the gas pedal or the brake.  Happy travels along your journey.

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