Sassy Spirit

What is your life telling you? Is the Universe giving you signs that you’re not picking up on? What to add to your life? What to let go of? Do you see what is working and what needs to change? Is your schedule good? Does it make sense? Do you make time for what you want? To have fun? For yourself?

Are you making time for the hate-to’s? For work or business only, even when you’re home? Are you making time for what’s important? Are you in survival mode? Just check-in with yourself and ask. No judgement, just assess where you’re at.

I don’t know about you, but I get cranky when I’m hungry.  I get downright mean and almost evil when I’m hungry.  I realize this isn’t just physical hunger, but mental, emotional, and spiritual too.   When I want more, I can ignore it, but eventually if I don’t feed myself, all the parts, I feel like I’m starving.  I could say I’m craving balance.  But I’m not sure there is such a thing in life.  In theory there is, but we aren’t pie charts.  If I was a pie chart, what areas would I be?  Home, work, family, marriage, me, passions, hobbies, life purpose, etc.?  I kind of live it all at the same time.  That’s when people say to me, “I don’t know how you do it all?”  When I hear that I think…what is ALL?  I don’t feel like I do it all.  I’m having one of those days where laundry is piled up that is waiting to be folded and I am not in a great mood.  I don’t post about stuff to complain, so you make think it’s lame, but it’s real.  I have learned a lot from women that are entrepreneurs, successful in business or sales, writers, and especially those who worked at home in the beginning, all had a rough time.  They trusted it would all be worth it.  They now have a cleaning person, assistant, staff and people so they have more time and freedom…with more money then they have ever had.  I’m trying to make it a different path for me.  Not twenty years of struggle in order to get twenty years of good type of thing.

Today, I ask the Universe to guide me.

What do I want more of?  Abundance, money, prosperity of course, so I can have the life of my dreams.  But I have the life of my dreams in some ways and I’m taking it for granted because I’m focused on what I don’t have.  I am seeing what isn’t working, instead of new possibilities.  This is where I know to check in and take EVERYTHING off my plate (in my mind) so I can get clear.  I’m not down in the dumps, feeling bad or like my life isn’t going awesome. I’m just tired.  Never believe your bad days.  But learn from them.  Ask yourself what are you feeling?


Deep breath.  Some sacred time.  Some quality time with my kids.  To be present.  Everything that needs to be done will wait for me.  Memories are asking to be made every day.  I will hit the reset and unplug.  Time to recenter.

We try to plan them. Especially as parents, we take kids on vacation. We plan special outings. They often fall flat in the fun department. Our expectations set so high, that they SHOULD be happy, grateful, and enjoy themselves. They are kids. As in…they’re crazy, wonderful, unpredictable, wild creatures. They’re not robots. They don’t hold in how they feel and play along like adults do. If they’re not happy, they’ll just have an epic meltdown on the floor of wherever, whenever, no matter who is there.

We have also planned movie night, game night, and ya know…family night type stuff which ends up in tears, yelling, and someone is not happy. Maybe there are those families that are “normal,” but if my kids want a perfect home and family, they can go sit on the coaches in Pier 1 Imports and watch the Disney channel on their phones and ipods. I will one day have a home that looks like that when no kids live here. And I will have a pretty sparkly, luxe home, and I’ll be sad. I’ll wish back for marker marks, stepping on Legos, and he chaos/love tornado of our dailyness. Okay, I will not miss stepping on Legos, because that is pain.

I will miss the real Epic Moments Of Awesomeness unplanned that just happen in ordinary extraordinary life. Like we had a possum the other night at our front door. We live at the shore. I love nature, but I am not a woodsy gal. I’d be glamping versus camping, in a cabin, with wifi and wine. I’ve never fended off wild animals except for my kids and the ninja moves I can generate when I walk through a spider web at night. When I lived of shore, I dealt with that frequently and even had to call my neighbor to get a spider out of my house that was so big it looked like a Halloween decoration.

I wish I had a video of my two older kids, my husband, and I trying to get this possum down the steps so my husband could come up them. Hubby was freaking out it was going to hiss and bite him. He was throwing pebbles not to hurt the little guy, but to scare him so he’d leave. My son was tossing Legos out the window as he is hanging out the window. My husband wanted us to throw water near the animal. My daughter went all PETA and was afraid the animal would get cold. I was yelling at my husband to just catch the umbrella I was trying to throw him and just come upstairs. I wasn’t scared of the lil’ dude. I finally just threw the umbrella. Where was the possum going to go? We were at the door at the top of the steps. My hubby was at the bottom. My husband opened up the umbrella and used it like a shield. We had many laughs over this. It was a memory we couldn’t have planned.

You have to embrace the Epic Moments Of Awesomeness however they appear. These are how memories are made.  In the unplanned gems we have to tell great stories about.

Oh…yes, I’m the selfish caterpillar.

Teens and their parents fight. Yes, of course, but as much as that happens, I can’t imagine ever wanting them out of the house. They are teenagers who are acting like teenagers, but they are still our babies deep down there inside. I think I suck at parenting sometimes. I am emotional. I get angry. I don’t respect boundaries…yet…cause I’m trying to figure out when to let go. At what age?  You think the stages of ages prepare, but in my experience lately, it hasn’t.  So I’ll tell you a story only to make sense of it in my head.  I think in metaphors. Actually, it’s a personification really, but really both.

There was a caterpillar that loved its life. Things were cozy on the ground. She could see the trees and climb them slowly. She could marvel at the sky, but didn’t need anything to change as she saw winged creatures, new ones each day taking flight for the first time.

One day things started to change. The caterpillar heard whispers from caterpillar friends that there was this thing that happened. This aspect of them that would change. It would literally get so wrapped in its own world, cocooning itself in its chrysalis so that it was no longer part of caterpillar world. It wasn’t a butterfly yet either. It was in between worlds. No matter how much the caterpillar wanted things to stay the same…nature doesn’t work like that.  No matter how much the caterpillar feared the new world, it was happening.  To be a butterfly was its destiny.  It would have to take flight and soar to brand new, faraway places without its caterpillar self.  It would always have a part of the caterpillar within the butterfly.

The caterpillar doesn’t die.  It changes form.  It is a new chapter.  It is how God intended it.  It transforms both the caterpillar and the butterfly.  It is a huge level of trust on the part of the caterpillar and a huge level of courage on the part of the butterfly.  One has to let go in or order for the other to become.  Soon, the butterfly will bust her way out into the world and things will never be the same.  The caterpillar is preparing.  The butterfly is preparing…only in my story, they are in different cocoon/chrysalises.

In real life, I am not good with this college stuff.  This caterpillar is not ready for the butterfly to soar.  I am being a selfish caterpillar.  I am going to try my hardest to support the butterfly.  I will focus on the happiness of the butterfly taking flight…off to college.  I will strive to support her more and not avoid the inevitable.

What are you avoiding that is inevitable or just part of life?  Are there any changes that you dread?  We all have many stages of life.  These are all here to assist our growth. It’s just that usually when we’re so in it, we can’t see reality.  We have to trust that no matter what phase of it we’re in, it will work out. Seems so silly sometimes when our problems or challenges are so small compared to others, but it’s all relative.  Our stress is our stress.  Just know, it will all work out.

The media can grab our attention with the things we “should” be afraid of.  The list grows by the day.  It sells.  It keeps us imprisoned in fear.  This keeps us small.  It makes us want to escape reality if we think we can’t improve it.

Do you want to survive or thrive?

If you focus on just surviving and going through the motions…,it’s a half-lived life.  Are you thriving?  It feels so different.  Does this mean you don’t have things you’re still working on?  No, cause you’re human.  But you can see what’s going well, what needs tweaking, and how you can improve.  Growing, learning, and becoming more, as you accept yourself, is the yin and yang of it.

Think of your own journey as an evolution.  The evolution takes time, but it doesn’t have to take long once we decide.

I have to ask myself, where do I keep myself small?  I am learning where I’ve placed my own limitations.  Looking at my habits, patterns, mindset, and what I spend my time and energy on is bringing up a lot for me.  I see it falling into categories like numbing out, distractions (media of all kinds), to-do lists and business that doesn’t’ feel productive.  If I shift focus, I want to put my energy on my family, making money, enjoying life, and my soul’s purpose.  If it doesn’t feel good what I’m doing, I have to take a look at what that means.  Either I don’t do it or shift my focus.  I can spread myself too thin and then lose my center if not.  My energy is depleted and I feel deflated and small again.  Fear wears many disguises and it can have us running in circles trying to do-be-have enough.

I can ask myself…is this important?  Does this deserve my time?  If I know my worth, does this serve me?  If I love myself, would I ____?

I ask the Universe to release anything that no longer serves me.  In this space where limitations have lived, now possibilities will dwell.  I ask for newness.  My job is to look in the direction of what I want to and not to get caught up in fear.  I have a choice.  I can look at the news, kickin’ around the same thinking that gets people nowhere or I can turn off and tune out what is fear and place my laser focus on what I do want.  I can focus on love, strength, good vibes, higher thinking, solutions, possibilities, dreams, and such.  There are many realities in any given moment, in any given room, in any given mind.  We have so much power.  I now pick up my light saber and be like Yoda says “Do or do not.  There is no try.” I will connect to the Force.  It’s always there, waiting for me.  It’s always there for me to choose it or fear.   How much can I let this infinite Divine cosmic force occupy my consciousness?

What I know for sure is…no fear…I can.