Letting Go with Guy Finley

Letting Go with Guy Finley

(Video) Find the One Love That Will Never Leave You

posted by Guy Finley

Guy Finley explains that when you feel betrayed by God, the actual betrayal is that your own mind would lead you to believe that God deserts those who love him.

YouTube Preview Image

The Secret of Letting Go of Dead-End Relationships

posted by Guy Finley

We all know exactly what it is like to be certain we have let go of something sorrowful or worrisome, only to find ourselves in a similar sad situation moments later. Merely wanting to let go of an unhappy circumstance or nagging emotional ache is not enough. Wants are desires, and desires replace one another like bees waiting in line at an open flower.

Dropping this person and picking up that person doesn’t end the loneliness that drives us into dead-end relationships. This isn’t letting go. We have only managed to put the emptiness on hold.

The truth is that letting go is very simple and, above all, natural; as natural for you and I as it is for a tree to shed the heavy, sun-ripened fruit that clings to its branches. Why? Because both man and tree, in fact all living things, are created to drop what is no longer needed. For the tree, the falling fruit carries its matured seed to the ground. No unnatural force is necessary. In a similar fashion — that is to say, under higher but equally exacting laws –these same friendly forces are waiting to do for you what you haven’t been able to do for yourself. You need only learn to cooperate with these powerful and timeless principles to be able to let go of any emotional bitterness, relentless regret, anxious worry, or troubling thought. The rest will be done for you.

This is what the secret of letting go is all about. First must come the understanding that we are still carrying around the accumulated defeats of a lifetime, and that these weary weights have only served to make us someone sorry, not someone special. This initial shock may shake us, but it is really a major breakthrough. It heralds the first in a series of miraculous self-separations in which we begin to see that we have been living from an unseen part of ourselves: a self that thinks clinging to wreckage is the same as being rescued! Now we understand why all of our past efforts to let go have only left us holding a new problem. But now we also know, at last, exactly what it is that must be dropped. We must let go of this sorry self that is certain it is better to suffer and feel like someone than it is to just let go and quietly be no one. It is the higher part of yourself alone that has the strength and wisdom to gently open your hand so that out of it may drop all that has been making you unhappy.

Believe me, you are on the verge of the single greatest discovery any human being can make. The secret of letting go not only holds the keys for ending what is unwanted, but locked within this same supreme secret is the beginning of your new life — the birth of a new nature that never has to hold on to anything because it is already everything.

Trust and Betrayal

posted by Guy Finley

Question: Someone I love has hurt me deeply, betrayed my trust, and now I don’t know how I should feel about this person. Should I forgive and forget, or try to find another who won’t be the same way? Seems I can’t get a hold on what should be happening here! What’s to be done?

Answer: No one can, nor should he, ever say, “do this, or do that” when it comes to questions of the human heart, and how to deal with what has revealed its vulnerability. How does one remain open and loving when anger and mistrust are trying to seal one off from love itself?

Seen clearly, as challenging as it may be, the great pain being felt here is not because of what someone else has done, but rather because of what that behavior stirs and serves to reveal in you. We are divided…pure and simple; one “I” wants to forgive, knows that hatred and resentment is never the right thing to do…while another “I” finds forgiveness unreasonable, makes and holds accounts against the offender, and finds full justification in carrying forward an unforgiving attitude. One “I” wants to believe in the “good” in others, while another “I” knows that the “good” in sleeping human beings can disappear in an instant, like the sun behind a series of passing clouds. So, what to do? Don’t look for the “pot of gold” at the end of an imagined rainbow!

Human relationships are storms waiting to happen because people who think that their worth depends upon what others do or don’t do towards them will always (eventually) find themselves in conflict with the choices these “others” make. But, in these storms, and the “rains” of pain they produce, also exist the seeds of other possibilities.

In any crisis of confidence with another there is also the possibility of the “seed” of self-reliance breaking through to reach for the sun. In any moment of doubt, despair, or sense of betrayal brought on by the choice of another, there also exists the possibility of realizing that dark states, regardless of their “cause,” don’t prove our innocence or virtue; these dark (self-induced) states show us, at once, two possibilities: we can either succumb to living as a victim of the passing moment, or we can see that the moment making us miserable is born of our unconscious identification with something or someone outside of us. However, this knowledge, these insights do nothing to change the nature of our pain, nor is it intended to; it exists to allow us a new order of choice in the moment of our conflict, by showing us that what we suffer over determines how we suffer, and for how long.

If we continue to believe that it is what others do that drives us into our dark ways and days, then we will never stop suffering trying to change them, or crying over how conflicted we feel because we’re not sure how we should be thinking towards them. But as we awaken a bit, we can start to be willing to suffer our presently divided “self”…to see that our many sleeping selves, by their inherently varied and un-reconciled existence within us, will always cause us to “love one and despise the other.” And it is this choice…to be what we are without a “reason” (for being that) that makes the difference in whether the bad weather of our relationships produces spring flowers or mud holes. More than this cannot be said about what to do with those people in our lives who have hurt us.

Turn to Learning

posted by Guy Finley

Our present mind knows of only two possible ways to turn when faced with a personal crisis. But neither of the directions it knows to look in ever resolve anything. Whenever painful events happen, they tend to fall on only one of two sides of a person. The first side is the denial side. When turning this way, refusal rules. Regret, self-pity and endless explanations generally follow. Or, the life blow falls on the angry side where the turning is to burning. Resentment rages. Hatred and feelings of betrayal mushroom into self-righteous plans for avenging the wrong. But what both these sad sides have in common is that they keep the person between them a victim — turning in vain from one side to the other — only to find nothing changes except for the kind of pain found there.

But there exists a third way to turn, a superior choice that leads to a higher life level where neither confusion, conflict, nor crisis is found. I call this higher direction Turning to Learning. Turning to learning begins with the honest recognition that our present approach to solving personal problems just doesn’t work. This may come as a surprise: Learning to live without recurring problems begins with losing faith in our habitual responses that tell us how to be free of them.

Losing confidence in your own heated, or heavy-hearted, reactions does not mean that you have to see yourself in a disparaging light, any more than stepping out of the way of a runaway truck would make you think of yourself as a coward. The superior way for us to deal with personal crisis situations is to let the runaway truck pass us by because we know it’s only a mindless machine. We realize it can’t recognize the danger its own undirected nature represents. This means that we must learn to let our own habitual reactions roll by us because, just like the wild truck, these reactions of ours are mechanical in nature. And since we know that machines can’t learn, this means neither will we learn what is really needed to free ourselves as long we allow our reactions to lead the way.

Reactions never reveal. They conceal. Remaining under the rule of any reaction limits your choices in life to only the direction that reaction gives you to take. But the key point is this: no reaction-supplied direction can ever lead anywhere higher than the level of the reaction. If these mechanical responses actually knew as much as they pretend to, we wouldn’t be repeating the patterns that always lead us back to the same kind of personal problems. It should be clear. Our mechanical reactions are at the root of our persistent problems, and not the way out of them.

Don’t be concerned that what is required of you in some moment of crisis is more than you know how to handle — that if you let your usual reactions go by, you might find yourself unable to learn what you must do. You will learn!

The whole process of self-liberation through higher learning is under definite spiritual laws. The very act of turning away from mechanical reactions is the same as facing in the direction of a free mind. You’ll find that who you really are is an endless learning ground, a limitless possibility for higher and higher self-discovery.

Previous Posts

Learning to Discern
Question: What are the first steps in learning to discern the truth? Answer: One of the things that makes music good for us is our effortless relationship with its harmony and balance, with its rhythm and composition. We don't have to be experts to discern these elements because they naturally re

posted 3:00:50am Dec. 17, 2014 | read full post »

Living in the Light of True Self
What we must learn to ask ourselves, not once or twice daily, but a hundred times and every time it strikes us to remember ourselves, is this question: Where is my attention right now, and what is my experience of the moment as a result of its placement? If we ever hope to taste some measure of true

posted 3:00:59am Dec. 16, 2014 | read full post »

The Music of the Mind
The music of the mind -- its harmony, or not, is expressed by the order of its thoughts through which it is instrumented. Confusion is dissonance; clarity is flow.

posted 3:00:02am Dec. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Freedom from the Bonds of Bitterness
Though we find no evidence of anything noble in someone who has betrayed us, neither is there anything noble in our bitterness.

posted 3:00:38am Dec. 12, 2014 | read full post »

(Video) Find the One Love That Will Never Leave You
Guy Finley explains that when you feel betrayed by God, the actual betrayal is that your own mind would lead you to believe that God deserts those who love him. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SI5jhqiVPI&list=UUTGc_OGLcE1zQ1HpyyNKrKA[/youtube]

posted 3:00:11am Dec. 11, 2014 | read full post »


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.