Beliefnet
Letting Go with Guy Finley

Life will fill whatever you empty—and whatever you fill, life will empty. That’s the code—the higher understanding required for spiritual contentment all wrapped in mystery and filled with bittersweet contradiction.

It’s all been spelled out once you learn to see. There’s no sense in trying to save yourself by holding out. Besides, nothing you’ve managed to hold on to has yet filled that hole in your soul, has it? So, why fight the wind when you can join it?

Be as you’re made to be: like a reed—hollow but whole. It’s not just easier, it’s much more profitable. Then let the winds change their direction; it won’t matter anymore which course they take because the more they play you, the more you get to play.

When you’re wide open, everything blows your way. After all, nothing can shatter emptiness or steal its peace.

Offer yourself to the wind—and then jump in!

Why do we accept so much unhappiness in our lives today? If you think this supposition is untrue, ask yourself why people spend so much time seeking ways to distract themselves with empty pleasures? Or why so many people push themselves along one spiritual path after another, blindly hoping that something will happen to mitigate their sense of emptiness?

The self that is moved to do this kind of imagining does not understand that some unseen force of sorrow or distress fuels its dream engine. Consequently, the more it works to imagine some hoped-for happiness, the more identified it becomes with the opposite of what is driving this dream of brighter times to come.

Our lives are meant to be bright, noble, and ever ascending. This promise of our true potential is made good in us by fulfilling our possibilities and not through the interminable struggle of trying to prove what is impossible. Most of our sorrows are the stressful offspring of trying to be something we have no real need to be; they are born for attempting to do what cannot—and need not—be done.

The following 10 Causes of Needless Heartaches reveal how we cause ourselves unnecessary suffering. Each of these ten insights contains two key ideas: First, whenever we are goaded into attempting the “impossible,” we not only suffer defeat, but we also strengthen the self that would have us believe it’s possible to put a fire out with gasoline. Second, as we awaken to see these false workings in our mind, we also see there is only one possible solution to end the suffering they cause: we must stop listening to and obeying their foolish advice. In other words, as soon as we see that the healing we hope for begins with releasing our unseen relationship with the parts of ourselves that are responsible for our self-hurting, the sooner our heartaches end.

Now, let’s look at ten small places in our lives where we are trying to do the impossible and where, as a result of our misunderstanding, we are still sowing and reaping the harvest of frustration and heartache.

  1. It is impossible to make others see where they have made a mistake.
  2. It is impossible to be carried to a secure and peaceful harbor on a ship crafted by anxiety or fueled by fearful feelings.
  3. It is impossible to gain real happiness at the expense of someone else’s pain.
  4. It is impossible to genuinely elevate yourself by pushing another person lower.
  5. It is impossible to take advantage of others without living in secret fear of them.
  6. It is impossible to realize the fulfillment of the Divine as long as we remain filled with ourselves.
  7. It is impossible to rise above any fear or worry whose root we have not found, uncovered, and removed from our own present misunderstanding.
  8. It is impossible to receive forgiveness in life without having learned what it means to freely forgive.
  9. It is impossible to wish another person any kind of ill, for any reason, and not be made sick ourselves.
  10. It is impossible to resist or hate any condition in life and learn from it at the same time.

See how many ways you can enlarge this list through insights of your own about the ways in which you are being tricked into punishing yourself. This is priceless self-study and it rewards the sincere seeker with a life free of unnecessary sorrow. Remember and honor your intention to win Real Life by daring to act out the truths that set you free. This is the challenge, and the cost, of earning true contentment in life.

To be angry and hateful is to suffer. It doesn’t help anyone to get angry. Anger hurts whoever is angry. It burns. Anger ruins relationships, causes heartache and regret, and devastates health. And yet, in spite of all of these facts, when we are angry it feels right. Somehow, in some unseen way, anger proves to whoever is experiencing its heated feelings that he or she is right even though, in the eyes of reality, nothing could be further from the truth.

How can something so wrong seem so right? Feelings of anger and hatred feel like they’re in your best interest because, at the time of their intrusion into your life, they temporarily fill you with a powerful false sense of self born out of fierce but lying feelings that can only exist without your conscious consent or awareness of it being there. This negative-self’s interests are not in your best interest. This conjured-up temporary identity is nothing but a self-of-suffering.

One day you will wonder how you were ever tricked into feeling bad about anything or anyone. The truth wants you to know that it is never in your best interest to suffer, no matter how inwardly convincing it may feel to you that you will be betraying yourself or someone else if you don’t. The only way that any suffering feeling can prove to you that you need it is to hypnotize you with a flood of itself. Step back from yourself. Learn instead to listen to the quiet stream of higher insight that runs softly through your true nature. It sees through sorrow and resentment. Let it show you that suffering proves nothing. Ask yourself, “If I am doing what I want to do, then how come it hurts me to do it?” The true spiritual life is about a human being realizing that his life is not to be used by antagonistic thoughts and feelings.

The missing spiritual key — needed to forgive those who have hurt us — is found in our own awakening wish to be forgiven for having been deceived,

and then seduced into believing there could ever be a valid reason for hating anyone.

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