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Recently the kids and I have been listening to an audio book when we’re in the car, but, sometimes, between discs, we’ll let the radio play. Since we gave up TV years ago…and I don’t read the news, either…we can be a little out of the loop. Maybe Kirsten listening to the Tulsa radio is…

I’ve found there is no logic to how I feel in the middle of grief. I’ve received huge gifts, and–although I’m thankful for them because they assure me I don’t have to make a drastic lifestyle change at the same time that our family has been changed so drastically–I sometimes don’t have an emotional response…

Sometimes I actually think :). I like to plan and compare and problem solve. Sometimes I think my way to an answer. Sometimes I make choices based solely on my gut whether the choice seems logical or not. I feel my way to an answer (I use this method more often than thinking!). Then there…

People are always saying how it amazes them how I think, wish, pray for something and then it appears. To me this is a normal way of living so it confuses me when they say such things. I wonder, though, if maybe these little miracles aren’t happening to them, too, and they’re just not giving…

Yesterday I shared the story “Tithing Upside Down.” I was inspired to give $250 (that would be the 10% tithe) and that evening I received $2000 and an iPad. 🙂 That was just one of many wild-and-crazy little miracles we have experienced since my husband died unexpectedly 25 days ago. These magical moments show me…

And so the big story–the headline–is that a 40-year-old homeschool mom unexpectedly lost her young and fit husband when he died of a massive heart attack next to her in bed. Even now–23 days later–I’m still not believing that story. It just seems so unreal. But within the big story–under that headline–lies a multitude of…

“World Spins Madly On” Woke up and wished that I was dead With an aching in my head I lay motionless in bed I thought of you and where you’d gone and let the world spin madly on Everything that I said I’d do Like make the world brand new And take the time for…

The universality of this grief is not lost on me. Yesterday I took a walk through the wooded paths Joe made for me and when I came to his metal chair, I felt my heart crack and the sobbing commenced. I so badly wanted him sitting in that chair…a flesh and blood body that my…

When I take inventory of my life at this moment in time, I can honestly say that *everything* is good….everything except for missing my Joe. But that missing is paramount. I feel like I’ve been through surgery and someone has cut away half of me. There are no words for this kind of grief; if…

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