So you’re on your first date with Mr Gorgeous but there’s just no sparks flying. The conversation has fallen flat and the awkward silence is just too uncomfortable. In a desperate attempt to keep the conversation flowing you start jabbering on about the first thing that comes into your head. Big mistake. There are some topics that are just a no go on a first date. No matter how dull the chit chat is, don’t be tempted to to talk for hours about some random idea that just popped into your head.

Things you shouldn’t talk about on a first date:

Your Ex

First of all why the hell would you want to talk about him when you’re sat across from a guy who would make your ex look like a professional gurner? Talking about him will only confirm that you’re not ready for another relationship. Just don’t do it. Fight the urge with every bit of strength you have. Even your friends are probably sick of hearing about how much of a loser your ex was, so why subject your future love interest to it as well. It’s a huge turn off.

Your Pets

So you have seven cats all named after the seven dwarfs, hi-d-friggin-ho. Your about to bore him to death. Telling him about the time Dopey got stuck up a tree or how you named your pet goldfish Omen because it’s Nemo spelled backwards, doesn’t make you sound like a caring animal lover – it makes him imagine you as a creepy spinster lady with hundreds of feline friends and a fish to boot. Not a great image.
Being an animal lover is one thing, but a crazy “I’d love my animals more than you,” doesn’t go down so well.

Telling Jokes

If you start doing this then it’s time to give up and go home.
What guy can resist a witty Woman? Well it’s easy to resist a bad comedian. By all means add in the odd clever remark or sarcastic comment to spice up the banter, but don’t try too hard. Avoid the knock knock’s, the what do you call a blonde who… and the Christmas cracker favourite that had your drunk uncle in stitches. Why? Because they’re never that funny and you could even offend him. Remember he’s on a date with you not Adam Sandler, there’s no need for your rehearsed comic musings and poorly executed punch lines.


Whoa there Joan of Arc, lets not get too heavy on a first date. These two topics are inevitably going to lead to arguments. It may be an important part of your life but don’t trip him up on the first hurdle. Save it for the fourth date.

Your Mother

No matter what relationship you and your mother have, good or bad, don’t bring this up on a first date. So your mother still does your laundry and comes round to cook you dinner five nights a week… just shut your pie hole now before the damage is permanent. Zip it, lock it, and throw that metaphorical key as far as you can. Think of the movie Monster in Law and cringe!

Your perfect wedding

Can you see that speck on the horizon? That’s your date running away as fast as he can. If there’s one thing you shouldn’t talk about on a first date it’s this. It’s enough to scare even the most committed bloke away. A first date is reserved for getting to know each other not planning the nuptials. Keep schtum.
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