Beliefnet
Make Your Relationship Work

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In times when computers replace people and are the only mean of communication, there happened to appear a special type of relationship. The one we call Long Distance Relationship.

It is already complicated to make a relationship work but more complicated it is to make a long distance relationship work. When there are miles, countries and lots of people in between. When the only time you get to hear the voice of the person you love is on the phone, and when you long to be with them every minute, every second of your life but realize it is hardly possible.

Such relationships are not much different from any others. Love is love no matter how far you are from each other. And they require the same level of understanding, care, trust and faith as a regular relationship… Just let’s say multiplied by 10 or maybe even 100.

Being far away from someone you love you worry more than usual, you care more than usual, you miss more than usual. Just because unlike many other people you can’t receive it or give it any moment you want to. And because the person you need most of all when you feel down can’t be always for you there. Though you understand that it is not their fault.

The most important issue here is communication. Thanks to technology we get many opportunities for this. But it is not always possible because of some personal situations like running a busy schedule or not having Internet access and what not. Sometimes it might happen you are not able to talk properly for few days. And of course it doesn’t help much in having positive thoughts. Having understanding is important here because once you lose this sense of reality and understanding it might even lead to paranoia.

Important is I believe not to expect much, I mean sometimes a simple “hello” or a missed call are enough because they make you realize the person you love is thinking about you and is caring too.

Small things might become big ones. Good and bad. Short e-mail with just “I love you“ in it will make your day but when you don’t talk for a couple of days you start going crazy and worrying that he/she might be sick, dead or what even worse dating someone. Come on, why instead of this you just don’t think that he/she just couldn’t connect to Internet and the phone wasn’t working. Why is it in human nature to think about bad things from the very beginning??

In LDR the most difficult thing is building up trust and faith. Once you have it, and it should be 100%, things go a little bit easier. You don’t go crazy about every little thing he does wrong and every new girl in his office. Trust is something that should be earned with time and it is not easy especially because you are far away but if you love someone shouldn’t you be completely devoted to him/her, giving 100% to everything including trust and faith. When you believe in yourself, your partner, the feelings you share, this belief shouldn’t be just like 50% or 70%. Only 100% is appropriate.

Long distance relationships are extremely difficult and we all know this. You get emotionally attached to a person you cannot touch or comfort. No hugs, kisses, even no hands holding. And sometimes that is what you need a lot and it hurts badly when you don’t get it and it makes a mess up out of your emotions and feelings. No advice can be given. Staying strong and believing in what you have is the only way out. Only you together can survive through all this, sharing things, discussing problems, being together when being far away.

Once you get to worry about something you have to discuss it. Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. And it is so much true especially when you can’t be with someone you love and discuss these things directly.

Difficult is also that people around you don’t understand why you are so much preoccupied with someone you rarely meet or maybe even never met before. That might hurt but that’s their position. In the end you know what you feel, don’t you?

Every kind of relationship is always a hard work and a complete dedication and devotion to someone you love. Important is to stay true to your own feelings, to be strong, and to believe that things will work out well. Even though everyone around says they won’t.

The most complicated thing of it is missing someone you love, missing their presence, missing their smiles and laughs, their touch, the sound of their voice. But then if you love someone, aren’t they already there? Always with you, in your heart, in your mind. And if you know they feel the same way it makes things a little bit less complicated.

When you love someone, they never get lost; wherever they go, they are still somewhere in your heart and as long as they know that, they will always know that when they find you, they find themselves once again. Let’s believe they know. And that no matter how hard it might be you will manage it because in life what isn’t hard isn’t worth having at all.