Beliefnet
Make Your Relationship Work

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Not a day goes by that I don’t get one question, one very baffling and kind of troubling question:

“He/she is married.  Should I date him/her?”

No.  No you shouldn’t.  No matter what the situation, NO.

“But the marriage is unhappy!”

Says who?  The person you’re thinking about dating?  Oh, yeah, they’re trustworthy on this topic.  They could be unhappy, but the other person isn’t.  And if they are unhappy, the answer is to get a divorce.

“But their spouse is terrible!”

And this gives you a license to sleep with them because…?  It might well be true: there are thousands of awful marriages in America.

“But I love them!”

That’s your problem.  I know that sounds callous, but it really is.  If you love this person, and they love you, the solution is that they be honest with their spouse, get a divorce, and then start dating you.

“But I wanna!”

Well, if you want to crap all over another human being to score, be my guest.  Just be ready for the consequences, because there will be consequences, and none of them involve marzipan and kittens.

Look, cheating monster or just miserable spouse, if a person is married and wants to date someone else, there are certain obligations they need to fulfill to do so, mostly involving court dates and divvying up property.  It’s not fun, but there are legal and emotional obligations here that can’t be glossed over.

Also, stop and ask yourself this: do you really want a reputation as a homewrecker?

 

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