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Make Your Relationship Work

confusion

There are a lot of confused people out there, say roughly every last person in the country. The sheer complexity of modern life, where you daily use things that you can not understand, combined with the deliberate confusopoly of advertising almost guarantees you’ll be scratching your head in bafflement at least twice a day.

I could go on for hours, and frequently do, about the deliberate daily confusion designed to make you throw your hands up in disgust and hand over your hard earned cash for the best advertised instead of the best. Advertisers weave a net of words to trap you in their spell, and deliberately make it almost impossible to find real information on anything from baked beans to stockbrokers.

This confusion is all womens fault.

Sorry, it is totally obvious to anyone.

You watch any advert aimed solely at guys. Lots of silence and motion with a few, very simple words spoken in a deep growling voice. Roughly one level up from the point and grunt stage.
Adverts for women, on the other hand, contain minimal motion and a spiel delivered at a speed most professional cattle auctioneers will call hax on.

“But wait!” you don’t say. “What about William Shakespeare? He invented half the words in the dictionary, and he was a guy!”

Glad you didn’t ask me that. Can you imagine the scene in Stratford-Upon-Avon? Shakespeare reading his new play to the long suffering Anne and her absently saying “Dear, you don’t need to make up words. We women already have a word for that. It is XYZ. Trust me, half your audience will understand, and the other half will laugh on the chance of getting some boudoir action.”
“Boudoir?”
“In bed, Will,” with a sigh.

But why the difference? Well, for the same reason women are better at distinguishing colors and scents than men are.

We started out as nomadic hunter/gatherers *. The men hunted and silence, small gestures and a keen alertness to motion are kinda important when sneaking up on a deer while armed only with a pointy stick. The women gathered, where accurate identification of food and the accurate transmission of that information was far more important than silence, plants not having particularly good hearing.
In cultures that still practice that lifestyle, the transition from boy to man usually involves a period of solitude. Not merely to prove their independence and worth, but to break them of the habit of talking too much they picked up as children.

Women talk all the time. Shades and nuances of meaning in every word they use, modified by the ever to be damned body language.

Guys communicate. Don’t knock us, we are still at the smoke signal stage.

Now we get a lot of “What does it mean?” questions. When a guy says something he means what he says – but remember. This is a person who calls carnillion nail polish dark red in his mind.

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