Make Your Relationship Work


I talk about signs a lot here on Beliefnet. I’ve posted blogs about signs if he is cheatingsigns that he’s not into yousigns you’re his ‘Back Pocket Girl’ and everything in-between. I do this because these posts are all about behavior, and a person’s actions are the most trustworthy thing about him. Also, you ask many questions about guys’ behavior–if he does this, does it mean that?–so it’s an enduring hot topic. That’s why I’m writing about it again.

If you suspect that a guy isn’t into you, here are five behaviors that prove you are right.

1. He doesn’t ask you out

“No shit, McNeal!” Yeah, I know, but I get a question like this almost daily: “Three months ago he said he liked me and wanted to take me out but he hasn’t called. Is he not into me?” Some of you want to believe that there are other reasons that a guy doesn’t call: he’s busy or he forgot or he got picked up on an outstanding warrant. But there’s only one reason: he’s not into you. A guy who wants to go out with you will ask you out. Period. If he hasn’t asked you out, he’s not into you.

2. He talks about another woman constantly

His ex. His bff. His mom. That new girl in class, what’s her name again? We talk about what’s important to us. If he’s with you but he’s always talking about some other woman, he’s into her, not you.

3. He shows little interest in getting to know you

A guy who is into you wants to find out who you are. He asks about your life, your family, your childhood, what makes you happy, what’s bugging you, what you’re doing this weekend. He listens when you talk and remembers the important stuff. If all he ever cares about is when you two can get horizontal again, he’s not into you. You can’t f**k your way into his heart.

4. He makes excuses for his lack of interest

“I’m not relationship material.” “You deserve someone better.” “I’m still hurting from my last breakup.” “It’s bad timing.” “I’ve got a lot going on in my life.” “I need a break.” These excuses and hundreds like them mean only one thing: he’s not into you. This is how a guy can tell you he’s not ready for a relationship, then two weeks later he’s dating someone else. He was ready for a relationship, just not with you.

5. He says, “You’re like a sister to me.”

It’s a compliment, but if you’re hoping for a romantic relationship, these words mean it’s never going to happen. He cares about you, but not in the way you want.

I’ve said it before, and it bears repeating: when the words and actions don’t match, believe the actions. If a guy is into you, you’ll know it. If he’s not, you’ll know that, too. The trick is having the guts and good sense to believe it.


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