God's Comic

Well with schools years beginning to come to a close around the country it didn’t take the ACLU long to sniff out another example of theocratic tyranny in the form of a 70 yr old tradition in Ocean Grove New Jersey for a high school graduation ceremony that takes place in a building known as the great auditorium.
Apparently last year, one atheist grandmother complained about the crosses attached to the building (it is owned by a Christian ministry) and immediately went to pray at the First United atheist church of the ACLU.
I must say I am shocked it took them so long to catch onto to another one of our evangelical ploys to capture and force attendees to convert to Christianity. Obviously it took an enlightened atheist, what with their “logic” and “reason” and “paranoia” and, now what was that word again, OH yeah, Christaphobia, to realize that for 70 years the event held here was not so much about the beauty and majesty of the church that brought prestige and awe to this ceremony but instead was a covert way for Christians like myself to convert students and family members alike to our faith.
For those of you unaware of this technique Christians are taught early that if we can surreptitiously get you into a church building under the guise of a “ceremony, we can begin implementing many age old secret devices found in the Bible. The normal looking pews for example are actually impregnated with a disarming secret concoction (“Jesus juice” in Christianeese) designed to force your brain to no longer be able to make autonomous decisions and this opens your mind up to the brainwashing that comes with you simply having to look upon a cross.
We are still ecstatic with the fact that many people, Christians and pagans alike, wear crosses which haven’t as of yet been tied to the tremendous amount of conversions happening in public places, specifically malls and jewelry stores on any given day.
Atheists alone are aware of how mentally weak they are, and so they believe it is their duty as a public service to let the rest of America that haven’t already succumbed to the deadly virus of faith to know that they too are susceptible to irrationality and God belief and it is as simple as a visit to a cathedral to start them on the road to ruin.
I can understand their point I must say because I myself have always despised the fact that many graduation ceremonies happen in gymnasiums. One wonders how many innocent victims have attended these gatherings only to leave the place with an inordinate desire to shoot free throws and to dribble. Yes I must say in America, a country built on the premise of “Land of the free and home of the brave” we can take a moment and thank these selfless atheists who prove on a regular bases that hating religion, demanding its destruction and their intolerance and inability to think of no one but themselves should inspire all the next generation of Americans to move forward with the motto, “if you have a problem convincing people to embrace your point of view, never compromise, take the high road. When that fails…sue.

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