Common story – a friend called as he was in a tough situation with his girlfriend. Although he is a good and caring person, he couldn’t create and enjoy harmony, intimacy, fulfillment and true communication with his partner – even though he really wanted to.
Men and women communicate in different ways. Even with good intentions, the end results can be frustrating and painful.
In this case, my friend did not know his partners love languages and most importantly their ranking. A persons love language and their ranking determines their sense of feeling loved. My friend also did not know his own love language. It can be pretty interesting when someone thinks they know either their own love languages and ranking and in fact is incorrect.
People have different styles of communicating and letting each other know that we care.
“The 5 Love Languages” is a wonderful book by Gary Chapman.
What is your top love language and ranking?
1) Physical touch
2) Words of affirmation
4) Quality time
5) Acts of service
During the early days of our courtship and relationship, this information helped my wife and I develop a successful and loving way to communicate. We were able to transcend life’s challenges. We listened to each other in a caring way and shared our feelings without hurting or attacking the other person. It’s listening with our hearts, ears and eyes instead of focusing on the words. We developed new strategies to share the difficult feelings in a way that works.
During the first two years of relationship you and your partner create the patterns that determine how you communicate and ultimately the success or failure of your relationship. How you both navigate “the bumps” determines if you will remain together long term and demonstrates your ability to create intimacy, trust, unconditional love and true communication.
We each have a predominant love language. Which is yours? Which is your partners? What about your parents and children? People may respond to each of the 5 languages, but every person has a definite ranking. If you want to feel truly and deeply loved it helps to know this specific information about yourself and the most important people in your life. You may not effectively be reaching the person you care about because you are not using their prime strategy that causes them feel loved.
The MEGA Coach
(Photos by Google)