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Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together Archives

The Consequences of Holding a Grudge

posted by Linda Mintle

A grudge involves holding resentment because of some real or imagined wrong. A grudge develops when you don’t like the way a conflict ended. Nursing a grudge can lead to revenge. Consider the story of John the Baptist in Mark […]

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Angry: 7 Steps to Regain Control

posted by Linda Mintle

Anger is a powerful emotion that needs to be controlled. If you struggle with anger, consider these steps to regain control. Admit that you are out of control. While anger is a normal emotion and not a sin, anger expression […]

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8 Prescriptions to Resist Taking Revenge

posted by Linda Mintle

Revenge is an angry response to being treated in wrong ways, but it is not a godly response. Scripture tells us that revenge is the Lord’s and we need to leave it to him. Revenge doesn’t solve anything anyway. It […]

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10 Tips to Calm Anger in a Heated Conflict

posted by Linda Mintle

One of the keys to resolving conflict is to keep anger in control, to stay calm and not allow anger to overtake you. Here are 10 tips to help that process: Use humor to break the tension. Nothing lightens the […]

When God Doesn’t Meet Our Expectations

posted by Linda Mintle

Last Sunday was Palm Sunday, a glorious day in the church. We celebrated Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem on a donkey. I learned that the donkey was symbolic of a king coming in peaceful power. A King who goes to war would […]

Offended? You Have Three Choices

posted by Linda Mintle

I was watching Selling New York the other day and one of the sellers was so offensive to the real-estate  agent. He was making insensitive ethnic jokes and insulting him left and right. The agent took it on the chin. […]

Mad at Your Spouse? Go Eat!

posted by Linda Mintle

The last thing you will hear from me, an eating disorders specialist, is to grab some food when you are angry. This is exactly what I help people NOT do –eat when they are emotional. So many of us channel […]

March Madness: 8 Tips for Anger Management

posted by Linda Mintle

March Madness, as most of you know, is a term referring to college basketball play offs that are scheduled in March. We are now in the thick of those playoffs. What you might have noticed is  aggressive and violent acts […]

The Chicago Bears Prompted 5 Tips to Lose Gracefully

posted by Linda Mintle

I don’t like to lose, but when you are a Chicago Bears fan like I am, losing is a regular thing. Oh, and let’s not forget the Cubs too! Everyone likes to win. But last night, during the football playoffs, […]

5 Tips to Change a Marriage From Fizzle to Sizzle

posted by Linda Mintle

According to marriage researcher, Paul Amato, 60% of divorces in the U.S. are from low conflict couples. This means these divorces were not characterized by abuse, addiction, repeated infidelity, or even high conflict. The marriages just fizzled. Couples stopped paying […]

What Does Anger Do For You?

posted by Linda Mintle

One of the reasons we hold on to anger even when it troubles our relationships is because we think it works for us. We don’t’ like to give up things that serve a purpose. So ask, what does anger do […]

6 Ways to Calm Down During an Argument

posted by Linda Mintle

Jack and Rachel do not agree on household chores.  Both work outside the home and are tired when they come home. The last thing either wants to do is tackle dishes, clean, water plants, etc. The conflict has come to […]

10 Tips to Express Anger in a Healthy Way

posted by Linda Mintle

We all get angry, right? But how we deal with others when we get angry makes a big difference. Here are 10 tips to express anger is way that helps your relationships, not hurts them. 1)    Press pause. Don’t respond […]

A Quick Anger Guide for Relationships

posted by Linda Mintle

John and Mary are at it again. Arguing escalates to anger and John has a hard time calming down. As they sit in my therapy office, they ask what needs to happen. Basically, here is a summary: 1) John needs […]

How Well Do You Really Understand Anger? Take the Quiz!

posted by Linda Mintle

Tony insisted he doesn’t have an anger problem. Yet, by all accounts, people say he does. I asked Tony to answer these 10 questions. After taking the quiz and talking with me, he changed his mind. See how well you […]

Learning to Let Go of Offense

posted by Linda Mintle

Do you ever have one of those days when you are mad at the way people behave? Something really unfair happens and you try very hard not to be offended?  Not that I am not perfect, but when I see […]

Could The Way You Start a Fight Predict Divorce?

posted by Linda Mintle

Jenna was really mad at her husband. He promised to come home at a reasonable hour. She cooked a fabulous meal, got the kids to bed but sat waiting in the silence. Two hours after his scheduled arrival, husband Tom […]

5 Tips To Help Control Your Anger

posted by Linda Mintle

Are you easily angered? Do you have a low tolerance for frustration. Does any little thing annoy and frustrate you? Are you tired of feeling out of control? If so, consider these five tips: 1) Take a 20 minute time-out […]

7 Anger Cool Downs to Practice and Use

posted by Linda Mintle

A few weeks ago, a fired worker unloaded his rage at his Minneapolis employer through a shooting spree that wounded two, killed six people and then shot himself. It appears that mental illness played a partial role, but what motivates […]

10 Guidelines to Avoid Desk Rage

posted by Linda Mintle

The work environment is now a place of unleashed rage for too many Americans. Yelling and verbal abuse can be heard down the hallways of various companies and industries. The response to that behavior is something the media has dubbed, […]

Does My Anger Towards My Ex Hurt My Child?

posted by Linda Mintle

Reader Question:   My husband and I are divorced. We have a four-year-old daughter together and I worry about how well my daughter is adjusting. My ex-husband is very involved as a dad and this is helping, but I still […]

Taming Your Temper In Any Relationship

posted by Linda Mintle

Temper outbursts don’t help relationships. Staying cool and calm and thinking before you speak is the desired behavior. Well, researchers at the University of Michigan and Ohio State may have come up with a way to help tame your temper. […]

Problems? Take the God Challenge

posted by Linda Mintle

I was very challenged today by my devotional reading in Jesus Calling. The entry focused on how we approach problems when they arise. Our human tendency is to get upset. panic or worry, and become distrusting of God. We question […]

Anger Expression: Helpful or Hurtful in Relationships?

posted by Linda Mintle

Back in the 80s, marital therapists used to give angry couples nerf-like bats and tell them to go at each other. We also used to advise angry teens to hit their pillows or even purchase a punching bag and wail […]

A Woman Scorn: Tiger Wood’s Ex-Wife Takes Down the House–Literally!

posted by Linda Mintle

I’ve seen my share of angry divorces in all my years as a marriage and family therapist, but this takes the cake. Angry spouses usually throw clothes out the door, pack boxes and ship them out and even remove furniture, […]

Alec Baldwin: Hello to More Celebrity Entitlement

posted by Linda Mintle

Alec Baldwin embodies the entitlement mentality we see so prominently displayed among celebrities and others these days. His latest incident of being escorted off an American Airline flight for refusing to turn off his cell phone when asked, is another […]

Can You Pass the Anger Quiz?

posted by Linda Mintle

Anger is a misunderstood emotion. Take the 10 question anger quiz to see how well you understand anger: T     F    1.  As long as I don’t look or sound angry, I am not angry. T     F     2. If I ignore […]

Responding to Unfair Treatment

posted by Linda Mintle

Personally, I have had to deal with a situation where someone was treated unfairly. There was no apology and no indication that the offense would ever be acknowledged. And confronting the offense was not a safe thing to do. So […]

Are You Angry at Casey Anthony’s Release?

posted by Linda Mintle

Today Casey Anthony was released from a Florida jail and an angry group of people were there to yell and hold up signs decreeing her guilt. People are angry even though the justice system worked the way it was supposed […]

Previous Posts

I Spend, She Saves: 6 Tips on What To Do About Money
It's a common scenario, one person in a couple is a spender, the other wants to save. Fighting over money puts strain on even the best relationship. So how do you work through what seems like a major difference in approaching life? The key is ...

posted 6:00:31am Apr. 27, 2015 | read full post »

When Healing Doesn't Seem to Come
I'm often asked on the radio if I believe that God heals. Yes, I do. I've seen God heal in my own life and the lives of my clients. Let's keep in mind that God heals in many ways. Sometimes it is a supernatural touch, other times he uses doctors ...

posted 6:00:59am Apr. 24, 2015 | read full post »

5 Important Points When Dealing With a High Conflict Person
We all have that person in our lives that drives us crazy and personalizes conflict, making it difficult to handle. Here are five points to keep in mind when dealing with a high conflict person. Choose your battles. Since most ...

posted 6:00:25am Apr. 22, 2015 | read full post »

The Consequences of Holding a Grudge
A grudge involves holding resentment because of some real or imagined wrong. A grudge develops when you don’t like the way a conflict ended. Nursing a grudge can lead to revenge. Consider the story of John the Baptist in Mark 6 of the ...

posted 6:00:42am Apr. 20, 2015 | read full post »

Angry: 7 Steps to Regain Control
Anger is a powerful emotion that needs to be controlled. If you struggle with anger, consider these steps to regain control. Admit that you are out of control. While anger is a normal emotion and not a sin, anger expression can be sinful. If ...

posted 6:00:25am Apr. 17, 2015 | read full post »

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