Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Withholding Friendship as a Weapon

posted by Linda Mintle

upset girl

I’ll never forget the day my five-year-old came home and said, “No one will play with ‘Sandy’ because she doesn’t do what they say!” I was upset and thankfully, my daughter thought it was mean. But the other girls excluded little Sandy and rejected her from their friendship circle.

Would you be surprised to learn that children as young as kindergarteners form cliques and intentionally reject children from playing? And that three-year-olds can start bullying!

Sad, but true. And this gender segregation happens more among girls than boys because of their verbal skills and earlier social development. Yes, mean girls can use friendship exclusion as a weapon of power.

Known as relationship aggression, it usually refers to threatening to remove a friendship if the child doesn’t do what you want. It is a form of manipulation and increases with age, with middle school a prime time target.

There is evidence to suggest that children learn this behavior by seeing it in others–parents, siblings, media, etc. So be careful the type of exposure your kids have if you prefer them to develop the counter skill of empathy.

When my five-year-old talked about her classmate’s exclusion, we made sure we invited her to play. And my daughter made a bold move and told her classmates that if they wanted to play with her, Sandy would be included. At an early age, she understood this type of aggression and wanted it stopped.

Every parent and teacher should be on the look out for this type of relationship aggression and nip it in the bud so bullying is addressed early on in children’s lives.

 

Look Before You Lock: Leaving Kids in Hot Cars

posted by Linda Mintle

It’s August. It’s hot!

You just need to run into the store for a few minutes to grab a few groceries. Your six-month-old is sleeping soundly and he really needs a nap. Should you leave him be and run in to the store?

With all the news about children dying in hot cars, the Dr. Linda Mintle radio show decided to talk more about why cars are so dangerous and what happens to children, the elderly and even pets when left in a hot car.

To do so, I brought in special guest Dr. Chris Thomson, a physician in the emergency room at Lynchburg General Hospital in Lynchburg VA and also Chair of Emergency Medicine at Liberty University’s College of Osteopathic Medicine. This is a 27-minute interview packed with information and suggestions regarding  ways to remind yourself that your kids are in your car! Take a listen.

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More Bad News for Pot Smokers

posted by Linda Mintle

ID-10036733As the legalization of marijuana gains momentum, more data pours in that is NOT good news. Here are some of the findings:

Sometimes, marijuana is addictive. If you begin as a teen, you have a higher chance of developing an addiction. According to the National Institute of Drug Use, about 9% who experiment will become addicted. The risk rises to 17% if you are in your teens when you begin using.

One of the problems is that today’s marijuana is much more potent than pot of the 1970s. Thus, more people are getting in to car accidents and overdosing. And if you get your hit from cookies or food, the impact is often felt later, causing people to consume more because they don’t feel the immediate effects.

Furthermore, the developing brain doesn’t do well with pot. This includes all people under the age of 25. Researchers point to a specific decline in IQ and cognitive functioning. Judgment is impaired and teens take more risks.

Also, consider the association of pot smoking and  a variety of lung problems–inflammation of the airways, chronic bronchitis, and an increase risk of respiratory infections and pneumonia.

Right now, the news isn’t good. We are adding another health issue to an already growing problem with other drugs including alcohol. So, if you haven’t tried pot, don’t. Just because it is legal, doesn’t mean it is harmless!

Robin Williams: Laughter and Sadness

posted by Linda Mintle

The news that Robin Williams had died, hit me hard. This incredible funny man was introduced to me as an alien on Mork and Mindy. Immediately, one could see the quick wit of a comedian destined for stardom. He made us laugh! Then he broadened his stage to movies and made us cry, cheer and feel intense emotions. Both laughter and sadness were emotions he managed to bring out in all of us. And now, as it appears he died at this own hand, we feel sadness as we remember his laughter.

Williams, like so many people, battled depression. We know in 2006, he checked himself into an alcohol rehabilitation center after 20 years of sobriety. Alcohol and drug use often co-exist with depression. He talked openly about his cocaine addiction during the 1970s and 1980s. We know that in 2009, Williams underwent aortic value replacement surgery at the Cleveland Clinic. Depression is not uncommon for people with heart disease. Depression can increase the disease or heart disease can cause depression.

We know that as late as June of this year, Williams went back to rehab once again to deal with his sobriety.  And we know that as of late, he was struggling with severe depression.

Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the U.S. It is highest among the young and the elderly. More men complete suicide than women. The risk of suicide with major depression is about 20 times greater than the general population.

Warning signs of depression include:

Sad or depressed mood

Weight gain or loss, change in appetite

Restlessness, agitation, irritability

Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, guilt

Problems with thinking and concentration, indecisiveness

Thoughts of death, suicide attempts or a plan to die

If you know someone struggling with depression, get him or her help. Depression is treatable but less than 25% of those depressed receive adequate treatment according to the World Health Organization.

Sadly, Williams didn’t win his battle with depression and we say goodbye. He’ll be remembered for all the laughter he gave to so many.

 

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Withholding Friendship as a Weapon
I'll never forget the day my five-year-old came home and said, "No one will play with 'Sandy' because she doesn't do what they say!" I was upset and thankfully, my daughter thought it was mean. But the other girls excluded little Sandy and rejected her from their friendship circle. Would you be

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