Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

The Battle of The Bedroom: Teens 1, Parents 0–Six Tips to Win!

posted by Linda Mintle

You’ve heard it and probably said it, “This room looks like a cyclone hit it!”

Ah yes, the familiar, clean up your room…or else, that most parents find themselves regularly chanting. If you feel like your teen is winning the battle of the bedroom, time for new strategy:

1) Stop caring and allow your teen to be a slob. Let the person he or she marries deal with it!

2) Ask nicely but give a reasonable time frame to get the job done. Forget the nagging, lectures, charts.

3) Try explaining that this is not some crazy control issue for you as a parent. Organization really does work in life. You can actually find your clothes and have them wrinkle free when they are hung and folded.

4) Enforce consequences. Set up the if, then rule and stick to it. Use a consequence that makes a difference. Your teen will decide if the consequence is worth the effort.

5) Begin early. OK maybe too late for this child, but you may have others and grand kids. Helping kids clean up their rooms, store toys, etc. at a young age, sets a habit.

6) Use humor, lots of it to break the tension and make your point. Be creative. Perhaps your teen’s room could be used as a family hamper and everyone could throw their laundry on her floor for a few days. Or maybe start bagging the stacks into give aways for the Salvation Army.

 

High School Reunion: Ten Reasons You Should Go

posted by Linda Mintle

Tonight is my high school reunion! I’m not going, but I wish I could. I live in another state that is not within driving distance. I just visited my family on Father’s Day and can’t afford the time to go back again. I could only make one trip home this month and had to decide between my father and former classmates. I chose my dad!

But talking about the reunion brought up a lot of feelings. And while I wasn’t the most popular kid, high school, for me, was really great.

So, here is why I think people should go:

1) You are a grown up now and have nothing to prove to people you see every 10 years or so!

2) You are dying to see how everyone aged. If you look great, flaunt it to those guys who passed you over as a possible girlfriend. Let them see what they missed.

3) You’ve accomplished things in your life that are interesting to share. You may find others who share your interests. For example, I noticed another former classmate is on faculty of a medical school. Would have been interesting to share experiences.

4) You will probably laugh a lot as people share crazy stories and memories.

5) It is always interesting to hear about the path people took. It can be very unexpected–the nerd who became a high powered attorney, the science geek who is now a medical researcher, the athlete who proved he actually had a brain and is now a college professor. New relationships can form.

6) Everyone is invited! This isn’t prom!

7) You now wear make-up and actually know what to do with that frizzy hair.

8) There may be a few jerks–the alcoholic, narcissist, etc., but most people are genuinely nice.

9) You can clear the air if there were misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

10) Just go because you can. Take a risk. Don’t live in the past.

Would you go? You should.

Tonight, I lift my mug that I grabbed at my recent visit (see photo) from a classmate who actually made these for the reunion, and toast you all—Happy Reunion St. Joe High School!

“Sing we hail to alma mater…”

It would have been great to have been there!

 

 

Tell me why or why not? Love to hear your take and experiences. The last one I attended was really fun!

 

 

Gospel Singer Yolanda Adams Challenges BET Entertainers

posted by Linda Mintle

I’m giving it up to gospel singer, Yolanda Adams on the BET awards this past week.

After being assaulted by foul mouthed talk and rap, Adams gracefully accepts her award and says, “We need all of y’all. I’m saying the world needs everyone in this room. Please make sure that you use your gift responsibly, ’cause we’re watching. Our babies are watching, and they want to be like us.”

Yes, our babies are watching and what they see and hear isn’t making them better people.

The amount of work the censors had to do on this show was ridiculous (and I don’t mean that in a good way!).

Kanya West, Big Sean, Pusha T and 2 Chainz were censored so many times there were periods of complete silence. Nicki Minaj joined the multitude of bleeps. It was a silent assault of offensive language and those of you who read me, know how this is one of my soap boxes. What is the point? In fact, this lack of civility does harm. Read this. Is Profanity on TV Harmless? The language of aggression is a precursor to violence according to the results from the Civility Project at Johns Hopkins.

So back to Yolanda Adams remarks. What would happen if these talented performers used their gifts to better the world, to encourage young people in a positive way, and were role models of peace and love instead of inciting people to objectify women, be violent and rude?

How could these rappers influence young people in a good way? Perhaps a little conscious raising and policing of their own lyrics could make a real difference. I can’t imagine Beyonce wanting her little girl exposed to rap that tells her she is a BLEEP and a BLEEP!

Yolanda, you were brave. I doubt the entertainers will heed your advice, but I for one am glad you said it.

HAPPY 4th of JULY

posted by Linda Mintle

Taking a break and simply wishing all of you a wonderful holiday.

Be safe, honor those who serve and secure our freedom, enjoy your family, barbecues and other forms of celebration!

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