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reduce stress | Terezia Farkas | depression help | Beliefnet

 

Stress comes from both the good and the bad things that happen to us. If we didn’t feel any stress, we wouldn’t be alive!
Stress may feel overwhelming at times, but there are many strategies to help you take control.

What is stress?

Stress is your body’s response to a real or perceived threat. Stress is meant to get you ready for some kind of action to get you out of danger.

Most of the threats you face aren’t something you can fight or run away from. Those threats are usually problems that you have to work through.

Unhelpful stress

Stress is unhelpful when it makes you feel overwhelmed or feeling like you can’t possibly fix the problem. In these cases, you avoid dealing with the original problem altogether. That makes the problem worse. It can be hard to concentrate, make decisions, or feel confident. Over time stress can have a big impact on your health.

What can I do about it?

  • Identify the problem. Is your job, school, a relationship with someone, or worries about money causing stress? Are unimportant, surface problems hiding deeper problems? Once you know what the real problem is you can do something about it.
  • Solve problems as they come up. What can you do? What are possible outcomes? Would that be worse or better than doing nothing? Remember, sometimes solving a problem means doing the best you can even if it isn’t perfect. Or ask for help. Once you’ve decided on a solution, divide the steps into manageable pieces and work on one piece at a time.
  • Talk about your problems. Talk is important. You’ll find it helps to talk about your stress. Loved ones might not realize that you’re having a tough time. Once they understand, they can help in two different ways. First, they can listen. Second, they can come up with ideas to help you solve or deal with your problems.
  • Learn to say NO. Stress comes when there are too many things going on. Learn to say no. It’s a real skill that takes practice. But once mastered, you wonder why it took you so long to learn the skill.
  • Learn helpful thinking strategies. How you think about situations affects the way you respond to them. Unhelpful thoughts, like believing that everything must be perfect or expecting the worst outcome, makes problems seem bigger than they really are.
  • Learn stress management. There’s lots of useful books, websites, and courses to help you cope with stress. There’s also counsellors who specialize in stress management.
  • Release the inner you. Yoga, meditation, mindfulness, prayer, or breathing exercises can help quiet your mind. They can help you look at problems from a calmer, more balanced point of view.

Can I prevent stress?

Stress is part of being human. No one can eliminate stress completely from their life. Or keep stress from ever happening in the future. The goal of learning to manage stress is to help you bounce back from problems and keep your wellness intact. All of the above strategies can help you control stress. They also help you feel in control, which again helps manage stress.

better feel like | depression help | Terezia Farkas | Beliefnet

 

Just like it is important to recognize the signs and symptoms of depression so people will seek treatment, it is also important to recognize the signs of recovery – what better feels like.

Hopelessness is a central symptom of depression and when in the midst of an episode, it is hard for people to believe that one day the darkness will lift and they will get better.

What better feels like

What better feels like uses the words of people who have “been there” – experienced depression and come out the other side. They answer questions like what is depression like? What are the signs of getting better? What helped and what didn’t? And what does better feel like?

To answer these questions, researchers in Canada interviewed 10 people from across the country about their journey to better. Their answers pretty much mirror what anyone who has experienced depression will tell you. Which just tells you that no matter what country you live in, or who you are, depression affects everyone the same way.

And if you think you’re alone, or no one has ever felt what you’re feeling now, or going through what you’re going through, STOP. You’re not alone. Better is possible. Please, if you or someone you know is suffering through these kinds of thoughts, take a look at What Better Feels Like.

Better is not a destination. It’s a journey

Like any journey, there are things that help you. But on the flip side, there are things that don’t help. In fact, these things put you back in healing.

Some things that don’t help

1. Unsolicited advice. Well meaning, but irritating as heck. Things like take a bubble bath. Pull up your socks. Read a good book. Just lighten up. Calm down. Pull yourself together.

2. Ignoring depression.

3. Professionals who lecture, don’t take you seriously, or let you down.

John S: “Doctors who insist they know it all. They say, ‘You’re the patient and I’m the doctor. You will do as I say.’”

Anne: “It’s not helpful when you walk into the hospital and the staff don’t take you seriously. I had such physical pain and I was viewed as a hypochondriac. There is more education now about the association between physical pain and depression but at the time, the professionals would diminish these symptoms and that was extremely unhelpful.”

Lori: “In the hospital, we’d get up in the morning – they’re telling us breakfast is in 10 minutes so we scramble to the community room. The occupational therapist reads the newspaper out loud to us all. I know the point is to keep us up to date on current events. At those times, I am very vulnerable. The assumption is that we can’t even read. Then there is the schedule with the coloured tabs – because we can’t figure it out for ourselves. And then there is that voice – like she’s talking to children. Every one of us there is thinking, ‘Well, she is not doing this for me.’ I’m not that ill. I’m not as sick as the rest of them. This cannot be for my benefit.’ This creation of dependency breeds negativity. You’re eventually going to believe – this is for me after all.”

4. People doing everything for you.

5. Mis-diagnosis.

6. Friends that don’t want to hear you.

Heather: “While waiting for access to counseling services, I was given the suggestion to develop a ‘circle of care’ – friends and family members that I could ask to take turns helping me function so that no one person had to bear the full load of support. I believe that to be good in theory. However, I did approach people and watched them back away. That was difficult to experience, especially in my depressed state of mind. It was tough enough to ask for help but feeling that I could not be open about my struggles was not helpful at all.”

7. Unsupportive employers.

 

To read or download What Better Feels Like document GO HERE

law of attraction | Terezia Farkas | Kelli Cooper | depression help | Beliefnet

 

“If we don’t deal with our negative emotion, we will keep manifesting situations that will reflect it back to us, that will keep showing it to us. These are all opportunities to do this ‘work’ and if we keep passing them up, more will come to take their place.”

When it comes to applying the teachings of the law of attraction, we quickly come to realize managing our thoughts, feelings and beliefs becomes paramount. Our outer experience is simply a mirror of our inner world. We really don’t have a choice but to shift the thoughts, feelings and beliefs that aren’t serving us.

We have to change the crappy self-image we have of ourselves. We have to believe we can have the things we want. We can’t always be focusing on what we don’t want, lamenting our current reality, refusing to feel better until something gives us a ‘reason’ to.

Naturally, this will lead to a less than favorable opinion of our ‘negative’ emotion. And when I use the word ‘negative,’ I am not suggesting those emotions are wrong or bad, but simply ones we don’t like because they don’t feel so great.

 

The Bigger Issue is the Resistance

Feelings in and of themselves really aren’t the problem. Our resistance to them is. The resistance is what gives them more power. The resistance is what blocks us from examining the messages the feelings are giving us. Our emotions are messengers plain and simple and clue us in to how we are focusing.

The feelings didn’t just come from nowhere. They were triggered by the way we are viewing a particular situation, and when we don’t feel good, we are focusing in a way that doesn’t serve us. We need to see what is going on. The emotions help us do that.

When we are feeling badly, we heap all sorts of judgment on ourselves for not being better at this whole personal development thing. We know our inner world is creating our outer world and we are just screwing it up big-time with our inability to get all happy and shiny.

Again, feelings are not bad or wrong. They are just showing us something. It is crucial to engage with them because that is the key to truly getting what you want. Which brings me to my next major point…

The Desired Manifestations are Not the Answer

This is how our mind sees things: We are feeling things that don’t feel so hot; we are experiencing a situation that we don’t like. If X,Y and/or Z manifests, said crappy feelings and situations will go away.

So your mind latches onto these manifestations as being the answer to your happiness. We get a bit obsessed about shifting our energy so we become a match to these things. Hence the huge amount of resistance to the negative emotion that is just screwing it all up.

But it is so important to remember that the manifestations are not the answer to the joy, peace, and whatever other warm, fuzzy feelings you seek.

The answer is dealing with the crappy thoughts, beliefs and feelings that created whatever undesirable situations in which you find yourself now, that make you think you are wrong, broken, undeserving, unworthy, incomplete and lacking.

Because that is what will truly make you feel better. This doesn’t mean giving up on the manifestations—all of what you want and so much more will start flooding in. And it will just enhance and extend all the great energy you were already radiating.

You will no longer want to manifest from a space of trying to ‘fix’ things or fill some void.

I am sure we have all experienced at some point the let down of getting something we really thought would make us happy but then realizing it didn’t.

How many times have you heard the story of the person with the perfect life—great job, great spouse, beautiful children, big house, and loads of money but she just felt ‘empty’ or ‘unfulfilled.’ Too many to count.

The negative feelings are just showing you where you are wounded, and you can’t heal a wound if you don’t know where it is.

What you really want goes so far beyond what your mind is attaching to, whether it is a relationship, more money, a better job. You want to feel a certain way. You want healing. Acknowledging and working with your negative emotion is the ticket to accomplishing all that. Not the ‘stuff’ your mind wants.

Deal With the Emotion and It Won’t Be Shown to You Anymore

If we don’t deal with our negative emotion, we will keep manifesting situations that will reflect it back to us, that will keep showing it to us. These are all opportunities to do this ‘work’. If we keep passing them up, more will come to take their place.

The wonderful, mysterious thing about the Universe is it somehow manages to deliver us the most perfect manifestations to help us along our journey. We will get triggered in just the right ways. See exactly what will be most helpful to us in this moment.

And when I talk about this, I don’t mean completely eliminating these emotions from your life and never experiencing them again. Would be nice but being that we are human, it is unlikely to happen.

But we can work through them to a significant degree in terms of how they may be impacting something that is going on in our life right now. We can begin to change how we experience them. We can actually embrace them. Knowing they are a gift of sorts.

If this isn’t an incentive to be more welcoming of them, and not get all bent out of shape about feeling badly in some way, I don’t know what is. Again, this is the key to getting what you truly want. Not the manifestations that will make it all ‘go away.’


You’re Human…Deal With It

Yes, I know it’s super-annoying. We just want to be in tune with our higher selves and one with the Universe every waking moment.

On some level, we have this idea that we can totally become ‘perfect’ and never be unhappy ever again. We are hoping that at some point we’ll be ‘done’ with this whole personal growth thing, and then we can sit back, relax and enjoy the fruits of all our labor, never again to be bothered with all the fear,doubt and unwanted.

But we’re never done. It really is all about the journey. There is no final destination that you’re traveling towards.

When we can make peace with all of this, a lot of the suffering we experience declines significantly. When we can see our ‘negative’ emotion for what it is truly is, we respond to it completely differently.

We enjoy the ride a lot more.

 

Kelli Cooper is a blogger and coach who is passionate about educating people about what the law of attraction really is about, and clearing up the many misconceptions that surround it. If you want more LOA goodness, check out her blog Life Made to Order for posts, podcasts, products and classes.

Heart of Love Evolution - Surviving Depression | Terezia Farkas | depression help

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karma | law of attraction | Terezia Farkas | depression help | Beliefnet

The idea of ‘karma’ can be comforting to some. People that have done bad things will eventually get their comeuppance. People who have been good and decent will eventually be rewarded.

Often times, the concepts of karma and the law of attraction are seen as one in the same, but given the usual meaning people are assigning to ‘karma’ I don’t think they are.

The energies and web of beliefs behind these concepts can be problematic in many ways, and exploring that more deeply can help clear out a lot of vibrational ‘debris.’


There Is No Judge

The major issue with these concepts is the implication there is some force keeping tabs on us, judging us, and then delivering us our experiences as either some sort of punishment or reward.

I do believe there is some sort of force that transcends our physical reality. Something that we will never have the full capacity to understand. But I fully believe this entity is nothing but pure love, devoid of any sort of judgment. No matter what we do, it only sees our true nature, our perfection.

Judgment is purely the purview of humans

I fully believe this force is set up to work for us, and not against us. And as much as it is able to support us, it cannot defy our vibration. It delivers us experiences based on what we are putting out there. It has no choice. It’s kind of like a computer—input and output.

In order to fully reap that support, we must hold up our end of the bargain by cultivating thoughts, beliefs and feelings that recognize this assistance, that recognize our true nature.

If we manifest certain experiences into our lives, it is because on some level, we were an energetic match to them; it is mirroring something back to us. What is being shown to us is not always obvious, much to our frustration. But that’s a story for another day.

Again, unwanted manifestations are not any sort of punishment for something you did wrong or because you were thinking ‘negative’ thoughts. This idea of manifestations being some sort of punishment or reward for your mindset is one of the biggest misconceptions out there.

Manifestations are Just a Mirror

Manifestations are very personal and are the perfect thing to show someone what they need to see. We have no idea what other people’s manifestations mean to them. So, if someone ‘bad’ manages to manifest something ‘good’ like a lot of money, that doesn’t seem fair.

All the conscious creators out there are wondering why they have to work so much to raise their vibration to attract money when these people who aren’t doing any of that inner work, and seem like crappy people to boot, get all that cash?

Again, manifestations are very personal. Something that seems ‘good’ because we ourselves really would like to have it too, may not be so ‘good’ for someone else. In this case, we have no idea what ‘role’ the money is playing in his experience.

How many times have we heard the story of the lottery winner whose life went to crap after hitting those winning numbers, and usually losing it all? That money magnified all sorts of issues, beliefs and destructive behaviors.

It often gets boiled down to think positive thoughts and good things happen. Think negative thoughts and bad things will happen. But there is more to it than that.

Once you get more into this work, there is often a tendency to start analyzing other people’s lives from this perspective, wondering how they manifested what they did,etc. I would highly recommend refraining from this as best you can, and focus on yourself.

These Concepts Cause All Sorts of Problems

I believe our feelings help us recognize things that are true and untrue. They serve as kind of a conduit between ‘big’ us who knows what’s up and ‘little’ human us, who for the most part ain’t got a clue, and is firmly entrenched in this grand illusion we have created for ourselves.

There is a reason thinking your life is in the hands of some outside force judging whether you are deserving of what you want, and directing the course of your life, feels badly. It’s not true.

There is a reason thinking there is no rhyme or reason to our existence here, life’s a crap shoot and you’re all on your own feels really badly. It’s not true.

If we hold to these ideas of ‘deserving’ and ‘fairness,’ we will have a very hard time being a conscious participant in how our life unfolds. Because at the root of these concepts is the idea that it’s out of our control, or that we are owed something.

What control means

And a little side note here: When I say ‘control’ I don’t mean manipulating reality to turn out exactly as your mind wants it at each and every turn. When I talk about being in control, I mean cultivating a certain energy that will lend itself to better things making their way in. Our energy is truly the only thing we can control.

There is a big tendency to carry over these concepts into your work with conscious creation. You will quickly find yourself getting frustrated that all your ‘efforts’ at trying to bring certain things into your life are not being ‘rewarded’ by the Universe.

It seems ‘unfair’ that you are trying so hard and you still aren’t getting whatever it is you have set your sights on. You start feeling sorry for yourself, or you start questioning whether you ‘deserve’ to get what you want.

Yes, you do deserve it

Yes, yes you do deserve it! Your sheer existence makes you worthy and deserving of the best life has to offer. Deserving is not based on what you have contributed or whether you have been a ‘good’ person.

So you have to being willing to be really honest with yourself in assessing how well-aligned you may be with the various things you hope to manifest. You have to switch into the mode of being deserving by nature, rather than deserving because you have paid your dues, have done the right thing, have followed all the rules, have suffered and sacrificed, have been trying really hard, and so on.

Another reason these concepts can be problematic is because they often lead us to do all sorts of things we don’t want to do, and neglect ourselves in all sorts of ways, because we think these particular decisions make us a ‘good’ person.

And even if we are suffering now in some way, we will be ‘rewarded’ for our sacrifice, for doing the ‘right’ thing, or for putting other people’s needs and happiness above our own.

But you can’t get to a good-feeling place traveling a path that feels badly. When you operate from this sort of space, you’ll tend to just manifest more instances of sacrifice, being taken advantage of and self-neglect.

These are pretty deeply ingrained beliefs. You probably won’t just chuck them immediately. Even the most ‘advanced’ among us probably have these sorts of thoughts pop in from time to time, whether in regards to something that happens in our own life, or someone else’s.

Be Willing to Investigate

The next time you find yourself experiencing something that you don’t think is fair, or that you think you didn’t deserve, don’t be afraid to dive in. What beliefs and feelings are being triggered? What do you think may have led to attracting this experience? What in particular is making you feel badly?

When investigating how you may have manifested the situation, it is so crucial to remember this isn’t about blaming yourself. The word ‘attract’ can have a negative connotation that many take to mean ‘had it coming,’ ‘you brought it on yourself,’ you somehow wanted this bad thing to happen or it was some sort of punishment for a negative mindset.

And that’s just pure nonsense spouted by people who have very little understanding of what a teaching like this is actually saying. They just want to shut it down immediately so they don’t have to deal with the discomfort of having their views challenged, views that have probably caused all sorts of pain, feelings of disempowerment and doing things they didn’t want to do. But I digress…

Remember what I said earlier about the neutrality of the process-input and output. This examination is the key to a deeper understanding of what is driving your experience, and that knowledge gives you the power to effect positive change.

 

by: Kelli Cooper. Kelli Cooper is a coach specializing in the law of attraction. For more information on conscious creation, visit her blog Life Made to Order.

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