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loneliness of depression| Beliefnet | Terezia Farkas | depression | grief

The loneliness of depression is real. It’s as painful as any physical pain. Loneliness comes from abandonment by friends and family. It’s the feeling that you are completely alone in the world. That no one cares for you. If you were to die today, no one would notice, care, or miss you.

One of the hardest things about depression is loneliness.

One of the hardest things about depression is loneliness. At first you feel like there are too many people around you, asking questions, wanting to know how they can help. But that starts getting less and less. People stop asking if they can help. They stop phoning, coming over to visit, or chatting with you at work. Maybe you don’t mind at first. But soon you start noticing their silence.

Slowly you feel isolated. Though your friends and family ask if they can help, they cannot share or understand your despair. Your pain is a deep well no one wants to look into. No one can share your sorrow, pain, or fear.

When people stop coming, loneliness sets in.

Depression is caused by many things. In the case of a loved one’s death, grief can settle into depression. While the death of a loved one is fresh, people are all around you. People want to help you grieve. They call, offer help, send cards, and bring meals. Their care helps ease the razor-sharp pain. For a while.

But then people stop showing up. There are no more meals. The phone is strangely silent. And the mailbox is empty.

No one knows what to say. They aren’t sure what to ask. So mostly they say nothing.

Sometimes that’s fine. It’s hard to talk about pain. You don’t want pity, or the question, “How are you?”

You don’t know how to answer such a question. You really don’t know how you feel. Part of you is crushed. You’ll never be the same again. Your life is radically altered.

But another part of you wants your normal life. A return to the familiar. To blend into the crowd. But you are alone. You feel it. 

I don’t know what to do.

“I don’t know what to do,” is a common thought with the loneliness of depression. Who do I call? Who can I reach out to that still wants to talk with me?

I feel like a pariah, an outcast in my own family. I am despised and rejected by those who once called me friend, sister, lover. I am alone and I feel that empty, bitter, heart breaking void that seems to fill the very air about me.

On the other hand, I want to be grateful for the bit of support I still feel from my family and friends. On the best of days, I can see and appreciate all of their efforts. But on the worst of days, I feel frustrated and angry. Don’t they know what I want? Can’t they read the signs? Why can’t they figure out what would make me feel better? Because I honestly don’t know what I want, or what will or can make me feel better.

I go forward, lonely and despairing.

So I go forward in life, lonely and despairing. Emotional pain has torn me from my loved ones. Depression has built an invisible wall between me and all those people I see drifting by in life. While those people enjoy life, I feel nothing, nothing of the amazing world that is around me. I am cocooned inside the darkness.

If you are feeling the loneliness of depression, please try to tear open a bit of your cocoon. As tough as it, reach out to one person. Even if its a stranger sitting beside you, or a neighbour. Reach out to the world you think you’re no longer a part of. It can be an amazing, loving, hopeful place. 

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Find me on Twitter  @tereziafarkas

Visit my website http://www.tereziafarkas.com

Heart of Love Evolution - Surviving Depression | Terezia Farkas | depression help

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gun god Moloch | Beliefnet | Terezia Farkas | depression help | gun control

 

Americans are sacrificing their children to Moloch

In the wake of the Parkland shooting, the United States is again talking about gun control. Yet any attempt to curb who buys guns has yet again been defeated in a vote by federal politicians. Adding pain to what already is a terrible tragedy, the survivors of the Parkland shooting – those young people who endured the horror of seeing friends and teachers die, of not knowing if they were next to die – are being called ‘crisis actors’, far left fanatics, and much worse. Once again, U.S. politicians are sacrificing their young people to the great gun god, Moloch.

Who is Moloch?

Moloch is the biblical name of a Canaanite god associated with child sacrifice. While Moloch was an ancient pagan god, in modern times Moloch is used figuratively in English literature to refer to a person or thing that demands or requires a very costly sacrifice.

In a NYR Daily article, Garry Wills  describes the recent school shootings in the United States as the great sacrifice of young people to Moloch. Wills explains that the NRA is so powerful, that the ‘gun’ has reached the point where it is worshipped as a god by unsuspecting Americans. The right to “bear arms,” a military term, gives anyone, anywhere in the U.S., the power to mow down civilians with military weapons. Even the Supreme Court has been cowed, reversing its long history of recognizing that the Second Amendment applied to militias. Now the court feels bound to guarantee that anyone can indulge in this new “religion” of slaughter.

The sacrifice of innocents

“Few crimes are more harshly forbidden in the Old Testament than sacrifice to the god Moloch (for which see Leviticus 18.21, 20.1-5). The sacrifice referred to was of living children consumed in the fires of offering to Moloch. Ever since then, worship of Moloch has been the sign of a deeply degraded culture. Ancient Romans justified the destruction of Carthage by noting that children were sacrificed to Moloch there. Milton represented Moloch as the first pagan god who joined Satan’s war on humankind:

First Moloch, horrid king, besmear’d with blood
Of human sacrifice, and parents’ tears,
Though for the noise of Drums and Timbrels loud
Their children’s cries unheard, that pass’d through fire
To his grim idol. (Paradise Lost 1.392-96)

The horror of a school shooting can’t be blamed just on one unhinged person. It is the sacrifice Americans as a society are continually making. It is time this stops. Americans must stop feeding their young to Moloch.

What do you think? I’d like to hear from you.

Find me on Twitter  @tereziafarkas

Visit my website http://www.tereziafarkas.com

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did jesus fight depression | Terezia Farkas | Beliefnet | depression help

Did Jesus fight depression? After all, knowing he was going to die a horrible death sometime in the future must have weighed heavily on Jesus. The human part of Jesus would have experienced fear, anxiety, and certainly some amount of depression. So how did Jesus fight depression?

Find someone who listens without judging you. Ask for help.

And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. (Matthew 26:37)

He opened his soul to them. He said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death” (Matthew 26:38).

He asked for their intercession and partnership in the battle. “Remain here, and watch with me” (Matthew 26:38).

Jesus was depressed, but he knew that God was with him. Even in the darkness of despair, where there was no light, hope kept Jesus rooted in faith with God. But knowing God was with him wasn’t enough. Jesus asked his friends to be physically present with him. Friends give comfort and offer hope when you’re depressed. It’s good to be able to vent to someone, to have someone listen unconditionally to you. Jesus knew this. He also knew that depression challenges your faith in God, so having a friend with you is the physical sign of God’s love for you.

Hope lights the way.

He poured out his heart to his Father in prayer. “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me” (Matthew 26:39).

He rested his soul in the sovereign wisdom of God. “Nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39).

As Jesus descended deeper into despair, knowing death was hours away, he started bargaining with God. Take the pain away. Make the situation go away. But the situation wasn’t changing, and the pain was unbearable. In that darkness of the soul, Jesus clung to hope. Hope connects us to God. Hope is part of grace, that undefinable connection between a person and God. Jesus let hope shine its light, and he clung to hope that somehow there was a brighter future past that horrible, unbearable moment he saw coming.

He fixed his eye on the glorious future grace that awaited him on the other side of the cross. “For the joy that was set before him [he] endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2).

Don’t give up the fight.

When something drops into your life that seems to threaten your future, remember this: The first shock waves of the bomb in your heart, like the ones Jesus felt in Gethsemane, are not sin. The real danger is yielding to them. Giving in. Putting up no spiritual fight. Lying down and saying to the darkness, “Take me away. I have no hope.” Which is a lie, because there is no person ever born who is without hope. Hope is real. It exists. 

In Gethsemane Jesus shows us another way. Not painless, and not passive. Follow him. Find your trusted spiritual friends. Open your soul to them. Ask them to watch with you and pray. Pour out your soul to the Father. Rest in the sovereign wisdom of God. And fix your eyes on the joy set before you in the precious and magnificent promises of God.

What do you think? I’d like to hear from you.

Find me on Twitter  @tereziafarkas

Visit my website http://www.tereziafarkas.com

Heart of Love Evolution - Surviving Depression | Terezia Farkas | depression help

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* Thanks to desiringGod.org for some of the ideas contained within this article.

daily mantra | Terezia Farkas | Beliefnet

The daily mantra is a way to bring positivity to your day.

Daily mantras are a quick and free way to bring a bit of positive thought into your day. Some people like to say positive mantras first thing in the morning. Others prefer to say the mantras throughout the day. Staying on the bright side of life can be tough, but if you try to bring in a ray of light to your thoughts, the outcome can be amazing.

Here are some daily mantras to bring positivity to your outlook. Modify, switch them up, or alternate as you wish.

Drive your destiny.

My heart is open. I speak with loving words.

I am aware of my thoughts. I choose to listen to my positive thoughts to help steer me through this darkness.

I am in the process of positive changes.

Life is good.

Hope is real.

Mistakes

Mistakes are there to remind you, not guide you. Part of the human experience is making mistakes. Sometimes the lessons we learn are quick and easy. Other times the lessons are difficult and painful. Holy men and women have all made mistakes in their lives. Even Jesus allowed Himself to mistakes as part of his human experience, like when he strayed from his parents while they visited the temple, causing Mary and Joseph great worry because they couldn’t find Him. Mistakes teach you what to do in a particular circumstance or situation. Next time you will be equipped with knowledge and experience.

I am a child of the Universe, learning and growing in wisdom. I feel all the love that surrounds me and I forgive myself.

I accept my mistakes as learning experiences and appreciate the knowledge I have gained.

I am compassionate. I forgive myself.

 I am grateful for what I have, even if its not perfect.

I am wonderful in my imperfection. 

Positive Words and Chance Encounters

Choose a positive word to keep with you for the day. Positive words have a big impact on how the day can move forward with you. Positivity includes looking for hidden blessings and being open to messages from spirit. A encounter with someone can bring you a message of hope or peace. Be open to these messages, as they are signs of God and spirit working through people to bring you hope and peace.

My word of the day is _____________ I will keep that word with me today. 

There are blessings hidden everywhere. I will look and see them. 

I will release the things out of my control and be patient with things I cannot control.

I see the positive in myself. I nurture myself with self care and self love.

I have extraordinary within myself, waiting to be released.

Remember, a belief is only a thought you rehearsed enough times that it becomes a “belief”. It can be something hurtful once said to you, but you repeated it enough times that your subconscious actually believes it to be true.

Beliefs become incorporated into our beings over time. New thoughts create new beliefs. Try having small positive thoughts about difficult situations. Focus in on these thoughts to help you navigate through the darkness. Be open to spirit and God. Watch for signs through the day, and give thanks when you notice and receive positivity.

Twitter:  @tereziafarkas

Heart of Love Evolution – Surviving Depression is about the soul’s journey through despair and hopelessness. It’s about giving up hope, trying to figure out what your soul faces after suicide, finding your soul, and gaining the strength to love yourself again.

Heart of Love Evolution - Surviving Depression | Terezia Farkas | depression help

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