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achieve your dream life | Terezia Farkas | author | depression help | Beliefnet

Most people dream of a better life or that ultimate “dream life.” How do you achieve your dream life?

The first thing you need to do, to make it more real than the vague dream it was up till now, is to make whatever life you desire more specific. You should almost be able to feel, smell, taste and touch your new life. That’s how real it should be.

How to make my dream life real

You’re not going to do it with the help of virtual reality tools, but through a normal visualization exercise. The more detailed your vision is during the exercise, the more realistic your expectations will be.

The main reason why so many dreams of that perfect carefree life aren’t achieved has to do with not being able to connect the dots. On the one hand you have the dream of your ideal life. On the other hand is the life you currently live. There seems to be this huge empty space between the two.

Why does that space, or difference, exist? It seems there are 3 things missing :

1) A dream in general is too vague.

You have to take all the elements contained in the dream and visualize them first, one by one, in as much detail as possible. You should ask yourself :

Where exactly would I live ?

What would the weather be like ?

How would my garden smell ?

What kind of clothes would I generally be wearing ?

Which floors would my house or villa have ?

How much and how would I interact with my family ?

How would I wake up, what would I do first ?

2) What, more than anything else, would make this my “dream life?”

I would feel free

I would live comfortably

I would not have to worry about money

I would have a thriving social life

I would have time for me

3) I need a roadmap to get from where I am now to where I need to be.

The roadmap should be broken down into easy implementable steps and executed in chronological order.

             What I need :   ………

(minus)            What I already have :  ……….

(equals)           What I need to get  : ……….

Examples :

I’ll need recurring income to live / spend

I’ll need as less responsibilities as possible to be free

I’ll need my family or partner next to me to share everything with to feel happy

I need passive income to pay the bills and to afford my lifestyle

I’ll need a certain amount of capital to build my dream life

For now it’s only important that you know WHAT you’ll need, so that you can visualize having it. How comes in the next post.

To make your dream life real, you need to visualize one regular day in your dream life, from waking up till going to bed, and you will instantly experience it in a totally different way … as something more real. Your dream life will become something obtainable instead of something unreachable and undefined far far away.

Thanks to Robert M. Anthony for the post.

Visit me on Twitter. Toss me a comment or two below. I’d love to hear from you.

Twitter:  @tereziafarkas  #depression  #selfcare  #healing #mindfulness

get to know yourself | Terezia Farkas | Beliefnet | depression help

How do you get to know yourself?

In my last post, Knowing and Understanding Yourself, I started you on the path with a few questions. You’ll notice that the base where we all start knowing ourselves isn’t material goods or things we own. Knowing yourself starts at human needs. Thought processes. Emotions. Personal traits. How you would want to experience life.

The closer you live life to what your core essence is, the happier you’ll be. The better your life experience will feel.

With that in mind, I’m going to pose a few more questions for you to think about. Write down your answers, leave them for a few days, then go back and see if you need to add anything.

Get to know yourself with these questions

1. What makes me happy? (helping others, friendships, etc)

2. Who do I really wish I’d be? (actor, astronaut, pilot, etc)

3. What relaxes me? (spa treatment, meditation, yoga, music, etc)

4. What do I hate? (arrogance, social injustice, etc)

5. What do I value most (freedom, health, wealth, popularity, status, etc)

6. What do I fear? (dying, loneliness, failure, having no purpose, etc.)

7. What do I like? (being taken care of when sick, positive support, etc)

8. What are my personality traits? (funny, street smart, self-centred, etc)

9. Who can’t I live without? (family, partner, friend, animal, etc)

10. What kind of life would I want? (laid back, socially active, reclusive, etc)

11. What do I love to do? (singing, walking, watching tv, etc)

12. What do I stand for? (loyalty, honesty, patience, integrity, etc.)

At the end of these two exercises, you should come out of it with a clearer understanding of who you are. That’s the real you, the one created by God and born into this world.

 

Visit me on Twitter. Toss me a comment or two below. I’d love to hear from you.

Twitter:  @tereziafarkas  #depression  #selfcare  #healing #mindfulness

knowing and understanding yourself | Terezia Farkas | Beliefnet | depression help

Knowing and understanding yourself isn’t easy.

We are all actors in life. The world is our stage.

Why do most of us dream of a certain life and why do so few of us actually obtain it? There are many reasons. But there are also many tools you can use to create change in your life. To make your dreams come true.

Your Change Tool

You might think you know yourself. But do you really know yourself? I didn’t. Not for a long time. For a long time I was convinced I was the opposite of who I really am.

You may be thinking, “But I know myself.” Let’s see how true that is. Check yourself against these questions:

– Were you ever so angry at somebody and finally in some way got revenge … only to find out it did NOT give you the satisfaction you thought it would?

– Did you ever want something so badly and finally got it, only to find out that once you did, it felt kinda empty?

– Did you ever collect things (and I’m not talking about valuable things, just mundane things like movies, clothes, etc) to give yourself more choice. But instead you found that the more choices you have, the more difficult it becomes to choose, forcing you to conclude that more choice does not necessarily enrich how you experience life.

We only know for sure how we will react to things, how things will affect our lives, how we will feel about things and how we would behave in certain circumstances. But what if you don’t experience something? How can you say what your reaction really would be?

Listening to those who already went through an experience like depression provides you with realistic expectations. But you still won’t know without a doubt what you’d do in that situation, facing those choices.

We all think we know ourselves. But we are all actors, so we portray ourselves differently, even contradictory to who we actually are.

Here’s a quick exercise for knowing and understanding yourself

Ask yourself these questions:

1. What drives me? What pushes me forward? Is it my need for recognition, need for affection, need for power, etc. Drive is based on your inner need. Something that’s there regardless of where you are or what your situation is.

2. What motivates me? Motivation comes from within and from outside yourself. Why do what you do? Is it my need for acceptance, need for recognition, need for affection, power, pride, etc.

3. What moves me emotionally? What makes me angry, happy, or sad? Why do my moods change?

4. What fascinates me ? Many things can be interesting. Human behaviour, entertainment, nature, technology, the universe, etc .

5. What do I want to experience ? If I could experience anything in this world, what would I choose? Would it be travel, culture, art, music, gastronomy, adventure, etc.

6. Who or what inspires me ? Is there a person, organization, community that inspires me? Am I inspired by events, like the Olympics?

Write down your answers. Check them regularly to see if any need things added to them. You’ll be surprised at how much information you’ll find out about yourself once you start asking these questions.

Visit me on Twitter. Toss me a comment or two below. I’d love to hear from you.

Twitter:  @tereziafarkas  #depression  #selfcare  #healing #mindfulness

love is understanding | Terezia Farkas | depression help | Beliefnet

Love Is Understanding

I once caught the ending of a podcast where they explained that love is understanding. We take so literally the phrase “love each other as you love yourself” that we assumed we have to feel butterflies for every single person that crosses our path. But that’s not really it. You see, love has different shapes. The proof is in the kind of love you have for your partner, your children, your friends, your acquaintances. They are all different but they are all love. If you understand the other person, their motives and the upbringing that built their motives and beliefs, you have learned compassion, kindness, peace, honesty, tolerance, grace, generosity, goodness. But above all, you’ll learn how to love your neighbour. You’ll stop evil on its heels, at the root.

No more indifference.

Get to know those around you. Your neighbours (literally. Go next door), that cashier whose face has become familiar. Don’t just do quick talk, get involved. No more indifference. You see someone crying, wipe their tears and be a good listener. You see a happy neighbour but hear his/her cries at night, be a listener, be present; be proactive. Someone insults you or treats you poorly, see beyond the anger and find their brokenness and heal it with patience and kindness. There’s no better weapon.
Dig inside your own broken soul to find a way to understand others. Don’t say it’s not broken. If you are an imperfect being, your soul has its own kind of brokenness and we are all imperfect beings. Find a way to relate to others’ pain and joy from what’s within you.

“You are the light of the world. A city on top of a hill can’t be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a basket. Instead, they put it on top of a lamp stand, and it shines on all who are in the house” (Matthew 5:14–15).

Practice love

I have to put this into practice too. Believe it or not, I’m a very shy person. We’ve been living in our house for three years now and I still don’t know my neighbours beyond a quick hello when we happen to leave our houses at the same time. Honestly, it gives me anxiety to go and knock on their doors, feeling like I won’t know what to say or do, or I’ll make a fool of myself. I can already hear my babbling of jibberish where I forget half of my English and Spanish vocabulary, talk so fast it becomes intelligible and my face turning red as I dig my self deeper in shame. But I Have to do it. You have to do it. We ALL have to do it. Because when we do all that, we feed each other’s light and we grow stronger and brave to do what’s right, and slowly but surely we will defeat and eradicate the evil of this world. Yes it is possible. If you do your part. I encourage you to DO YOUR PART, don’t brush my words off. The time is NOW. In you is the key to make this happen. Just like a grain of sand is dust on its own but together with fellow grains, it becomes sand, you are small but with me, with us, with each other, we become the light this world needs. Now go and do it. You are more powerful in goodness than you believe.
by Fela Dales. Article first appeared on Fela Photography.

Visit me on Twitter. Toss me a comment or two below. I’d love to hear from you.

Twitter:  @tereziafarkas  #depression  #selfcare  #healing #love
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