Depression Help

Depression Help

Why You Shouldn’t Compare Me To Another Depressed Person

posted by tereziafarkas

 

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I have a friend, let’s call him D.J., and his wife suffers from depression. D.J. also has marital problems. So when he complains about his wife, he usually adds things in about her depression that in his opinion, make her lazy, not want to search for a good paying job, not take care of the kids properly, and not understand the importance of money. It’s at this point he usually compares his wife’s depression to everyone else who is depressed and considers depression to be all the same.

D.J. really offends me with his attitude. First, every person experiences and handles depression differently. My depression wasn’t caused by the same things that made his wife depressed. Her situation as a married woman with children doesn’t reflect mine. Even if the issues we each bring into the darkness are exactly the same, her and my experience with depression depends totally upon how we individually cope with our issues. She will have a different outlook on how to handle something than me. She may want to use vitamins and exercise while I will use cognitive therapy and medication.

Second, there are many levels of depression. I’m severely depressed. D.J.’s wife is mildly depressed and can function better in society than me. Certainly there are similar experiences shared by people who are severely depressed, but the depth and perception of pain even at that one level makes the experience different for everyone. That’s why treatment has to be individualized. A suicidal person at this level might not wait till hitting rock bottom. Or the suicidal person might realize life is worthwhile and be coming out of the darkness while still labelled as severely depressed. 

Third, depression does not mean you are lazy, don’t want to work or have a job, not want to take care of your kids, or that you don’t understand the importance of money in this world. Saying this stuff when you have lived with a depressed person for years and should know what depression is about really upsets me. It isn’t about not understanding depression at this point. It’s about being hurtful, spiteful and full of resentment and possibly rage. 

Depression doesn’t make you lazy. It makes you tired beyond anything you could imagine. You would love to have money to be able to pay the bills, live in your house, and buy food but your lack of energy literally makes you unable to hold a permanent job. Meltdowns, crying on the job,  working like a zombie is what can happen to depressed people who try to continue working. Sometimes the strain will even cause suicide. As for the importance of money, yes you need it to function in this world but it doesn’t compare to the importance of fighting for your life.  

D.J. needs to recognize what’s depression and what’s marital problems. He should also stop putting everyone into one bucket.

 

Humour and Depression

posted by tereziafarkas

 

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Humour. You don’t know how good humour is until you’ve lost it. When you start slipping into depression, humour leaves with all other positive emotions. I didn’t realize how much I missed humour until I started coming out of the darkness.

I’ve always thought my brother was more humorous than me. As kids he’d make us laugh even at the stupidest jokes. He’d use humour to heal us after our alcoholic father went on an emotional rampage. Of course there were times my brother’s sense of humour annoyed me and I’d tell him to be more serious. I used to measure my sense of humour against his and in my mind, I always fell short. So I got used to the idea that I was the serious one and he was the funny one. 

When I started sliding into depression, I noticed my sense of humour leaving me. I’d get annoyed more than usual with my brother. I’d argue with him about the silliness of what he just said, which in hindsight never made any sense. TV comedies seemed outright stupid, not funny. I hated laugh tracks. I should know when I want to laugh, right? Comedians I once liked now became people I avoided. I’d critically analyze anything that was comedy. Want to tell me a joke? How about instead I tell you about everything that’s wrong and bad with this world or my life. 

Eventually my humour was gone. I didn’t laugh. I cried. I bawled. I raged against my life and being alive. I attempted suicide. Then, after much inner turmoil and anguish, I started to see hope. I began to believe in myself. I started to love myself. Somewhere inside me, humour returned.

At first I thought it was sarcasm. I’d make a comment or two and think, “Okay, now the fireworks will start.” Instead, people laughed and remarked on my terrific sense of humour. I slowly started watching comedy again and it didn’t annoy me. I actually got the jokes.

I still remember the first time I laughed after years of silence. For me, it was like a joyful sound had burst out from my stomach, sort of like the critter in Alien. My muscles weren’t used to laughter anymore and I ached. Then I realized I couldn’t stop laughing. I kept on laughing until tears rolled down my cheeks. It was relief mixed in with joy. I’d never had such a profound moment caused by laughter. It was as if a light had turned back on inside the darkness and I had full control over when to turn it off or on. 

Humour helps me deal with depression and it lets me connect with the world. You don’t realize how valuable humour is until it’s gone.

 

CDRIN: A Turning Point For Depression Research

posted by tereziafarkas

 

 

Last week I was a guest participant in the CDRIN (Canadian Depression Research and Intervention Network) Training Program held in Calgary, Canada. The training was hosted by Mood Disorders of Canada with Dr. Barbara Everett as our instructor. The event marks a turning point in how depression and other mood disorders are treated by researchers.
Until now researchers haven’t used people with lived experience as equal partners in their projects to solve mental illness. Most of the time a researcher comes up with a solution, tests it on laboratory animals, and then does human case studies. It’s like having your doctor prescribe pills without ever seeing you in person or not asking if you’re allergic to certain medications.

“In Britain it is law that patients or the public be involved in equal proportions to the number of researchers on any project. This ensures that patients and the public have ample opportunity to contribute to all aspects of the organization. Australia has a very well written comprehensive policy but it leaves it up to the individual researcher whether or not to follow the policy.
The U.S. Patient Centred Outcomes Research Institute (PCORI) was formed in 2010 as part of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. PCORI funds a variety of patient-outcome research projects but has a particular commitment to involving patients in setting priorities. It prides itself on producing research that is transparent right from the outset. PCORI also has a well-defined process for obtaining patient and carer advice.” (Dr. Barbara Everett, CDRIN Training Guide)

CDRIN’s goal is to incorporate people who have experienced mental illness with researchers as equals in research projects. CDRIN wants people with lived experience to learn the basics of research and to be able to work with research teams in developing cures and finding solutions to mental health problems. That means people who live with any type of mental illness/disorder such as depression, PTSD, bipolar, autism, anxiety disorder, or suicide (just to name a few) can work as equal partners with researchers on projects. The goal is to find real cures or preventions and put a dent in such issues as suicide. In the past 20 years, no research has been done on suicide prevention!
Lived experience brings to the table valuable information, ideas, and perspectives that researchers often don’t see or think about because of the specific focus of their project. We who suffer from these issues can now advise and facilitate new approaches to techniques that may simply be repeats of past experiments. We don’t need twenty more repeats of something that’s been proven fifty times already! Let’s actually research suicide prevention with goals in mind and not just rehash the effects of antidepressant pills.

I’m looking forward to being a partner with researchers!
CDRIN was launched in 2013 and has five research hubs across Canada. For more information about CDRIN please visit http://cdrin.org

 

 

5 Ideas For Healing Your Soul When Depressed

posted by tereziafarkas

 

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Depression is an illness. It affects the mind, body, and soul. While there is medication and therapies for the mind and body, it can seem there’s nothing to help your soul. Sometimes the struggle with depression can seem like a battle for your soul. What can we do to heal or help someone who is feeling punished by God or loosing faith? Here are five useful ideas.

  1. Depression can be an experience your soul chose to undergo in this lifetime. In this sense, your soul knew before it became manifest in your human body the life experiences it wanted on earth. You choose to experience the good and the bad of human life. You might not want to be depressed now, but your soul choose the experience. Realize there is a reason for your suffering that you now have simply muted. 
  2. Your soul may want to or need to experience depression in order to attain a higher spiritual level. Your soul is always seeking the next higher level, the next higher level of godliness. Be aware that while depression is painful and destructive, it can hold some lesson that your soul needs in order to ascend to the next level of being.
  3. Talk to God openly and honestly. Admit to God or the Supreme Being of your belief that you need help going forward. Your angels, spirit guides, ancestors, and soul family are forever at your side, waiting for you to ask for their help. They never abandoned you but are by your side, helping you with gentle words of encouragement. All you need to do is ask.
  4. Ask your local church or faith community for help. Many churches have groups that specialize in ministering to ailing members. Some don’t even require you to be a member in order for you to get help. Don’t worry if you question your faith or get into debates. It’s all part of depression.
  5. Don’t be hard on yourself if you are loosing faith. When you start getting out of depression, you will see the world in a more profound and true way than others. While people might see you as having lost your faith, you’ve actually become a more spiritual person. What you are now will be more loving, honest and true reflection of your soul.

 

Previous Posts

Why You Shouldn't Compare Me To Another Depressed Person
  I have a friend, let’s call him D.J., and his wife suffers from depression. D.J. also has marital problems. So when he complains about his wife, he usually adds things in about her depression that in his opinion, make her lazy, not want to search for a good paying job, not take care of

posted 10:26:39pm Sep. 26, 2014 | read full post »

Humour and Depression
  Humour. You don’t know how good humour is until you’ve lost it. When you start slipping into depression, humour leaves with all other positive emotions. I didn’t realize how much I missed humour until I started coming out of the darkness. I’ve always thought my brother was more hu

posted 5:14:21pm Sep. 24, 2014 | read full post »

CDRIN: A Turning Point For Depression Research
    Last week I was a guest participant in the CDRIN (Canadian Depression Research and Intervention Network) Training Program held in Calgary, Canada. The training was hosted by Mood Disorders of Canada with Dr. Barbara Everett as our instructor. The event marks a turning point i

posted 4:07:55pm Sep. 19, 2014 | read full post »

5 Ideas For Healing Your Soul When Depressed
  Depression is an illness. It affects the mind, body, and soul. While there is medication and therapies for the mind and body, it can seem there’s nothing to help your soul. Sometimes the struggle with depression can seem like a battle for your soul. What can we do to heal or help someone

posted 6:32:03pm Sep. 17, 2014 | read full post »

Four Things Not To Tell Someone Who Is Depressed
      We want to help someone who is depressed. So we offer what we think is good advice to help him or her. But sometimes we make the situation worse because what we say hurts the depressed person.  You might not think that what you're saying is hurtful or realize what you'

posted 2:12:25am Sep. 13, 2014 | read full post »


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