Carl Jung, a famous psychotherapist, was convinced that life has a spiritual purpose beyond material goals. Life is a journey of transformation. It’s the journey to meet the Self and the Divine at the same time. A person’s spiritual experiences is essential to his/her well being. I believe this idea of transformation, of finding the Self and the Divine within, really applies to depression. Depression is a journey, an enormous experience, where you get reacquainted with yourself and whatever you believe the Divine to be.
So with that in mind, I googled some of what Carl Jung said. Here are 20 quotes by Carl Jung to understand yourself.
1.”One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious.”
2. “Don’t hold on to someone who’s leaving, otherwise you won’t meet the one who’s coming.”
3. “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
4. “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
5. “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
6. “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
7. “Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.”
8. “If you are a gifted person, it doesn’t mean that you gained something. It means you have something to give back.”
9. “Mistakes are, after all, the foundations of truth, and if a man does not know what a thing is, it is at least an increase in knowledge if he knows what it is not.”
10. “Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
11. “People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls.”
12. “Loneliness does not come from having no people around, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”
13. “Depression is like a woman in black. If she turns up, don’t shoo her away. Invite her in, offer her a seat, treat her like a guest and listen to what she wants to say.”
14. “A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them.”
15. “Your perception will become clear only when you can look into your soul.”
16. “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
17. “What you resist, persists.”
18. “A dream is a small hidden door in the deepest and most intimate sanctum of the soul, which opens up to that primeval cosmic night that was the soul, long before there was the conscious ego.”
19. “We may think that we fully control ourselves. However, a friend can easily reveal something about us that we have absolutely no idea about.”
20. “Everything about other people that doesn’t satisfy us helps us to better understand ourselves.”
Twitter: @tereziafarkas #selfcare #depression #NotAlone #mentalhealth #endthestigma
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. For more information on how you can participate or, to help someone who has mental illness, visit Mental Health America.
When someone you know has cancer, heart disease, or diabetes, you want to help the person now. You likely can’t sit on the sidelines, waiting for the person to ask for medical attention. You want to save the person’s life. You want to help stop or reverse the symptoms. You want to do it yesterday!
So why do we wait until someone is so depressed that suicide seems like a good choice? Why don’t millions of Americans suffering from mental health issues feel they can freely talk about how they feel? Why is mental health such an ugly, dirty word?
Mental Health Awareness Month is your chance to talk about depression, or any other mental health problems. Bipolar disorder. OCD. Anxiety Disorder. These aren’t something to be embarrassed or ashamed over. These are as serious as cancer or heart disease. They need treatment. And you need love.
According to Mental Health America, 84% of the time between first symptoms and first treatment is spent not recognizing the symptoms of mental illness.
16% of the time is spent getting help.
The delays in treatment for mental illnesses are longer than for many other health conditions.
Self care is good all year long, not just during the holidays. It’s always important to stop and listen to your own needs. But self care falls by the side of our lives too many times. So to remind you about self care, here’s some ideas and tips taken from National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
Here’s 31 tips for self care:
1. Take a walk outside
2. Write a love letter to yourself
3. Write about something you are grateful for in your life (it can be a person, place, or thing)
4. Create a happy playlist and a coping playlist
5. Treat yourself to a favorite snack
6. Watch your favorite movie
7. Forgive someone
8. Forgive yourself
9. Say thank you to someone who has helped you recently
10. Create a DIY self-care kit of things that make you feel better
11. Take your medication on time
12. Take a new fitness class at the gym (yoga, Zumba, etc.)
13. Plan a lunch date with someone you haven’t seen in a while
14. Pamper yourself with an at-home spa day
15. Take a day off from social media and the Internet
16. Cuddle with your pets or a friend’s pet
17. Take the time to stop, stand and stretch for 2 minutes
18. Wake up a little earlier and enjoy your a morning cup of tea or coffee before the morning rush
19. Take a hot shower or bath
20. Take yourself out to dinner
21. Start that one project you’ve been contemplating for a while
22. Sit with your emotions, and allow yourself to feel and accept them. It’s okay to laugh, cry, just feel whatever you’re feeling with no apologies!
23. Cook a favorite meal from scratch
24. Take a 5-minute break in your day
25. Compliment someone (and yourself, too!)
26. Give yourself permission to say no
27. De-clutter your mind: write down 5 things that are bothering you, and then literally throw them away
28. Donate 3 pieces of clothing that you no longer wear
29. Take the time to find 5 beautiful things during your daily routine
30. Take a mental health day from school, work, etc.
31. Take a nap
Twitter: @tereziafarkas #selfcare #suicideprevention #selfharm #BeThe1To
* Click here to find out more about Terezia Farkas and Depression help
Getting a man to talk about depression is tricky. Guys are as emotional as women. Really, they are. Being human means emotions are the same for all genders. It’s social and cultural conditioning that separates the guys from the gals. Manhood is image. It’s about swagger, toughness, and invulnerability. There’s a lot of time and effort dedicated to achieving a certain masculinity, a polished look of invincibility and male prowess. Depression is a chip in the polish, a character flaw, something that makes him broken goods.
Getting a man to talk about depression
Men suck at talking about depression. They’re even worse at asking for help. Suicide is the number one cause of death for men under 50. According to GQ, only 25 per cent of men in the UK seek help for depression but the number of depressed men is about 50 per cent. Suicide is sometimes seen as the only way out if the guy believes he’s failing to be a man in a bad situation.
- Getting a man to talk. A man needs a person he can really connect with, face-to-face. It’s about finding a person he can trust when it comes to talking openly and honestly about his pain. Instead of using the word depressed, it’s easier for him to talk about “being stressed” or being “overly tired.” Code words for depression. Talking about the stress or what’s making him tired can help him open up. Don’t rush it. He’s taking a big step by telling you how he feels. For some men, this is as far as asking for help goes. You can point out that you’ve noticed his behaviour has changed. Don’t be critical. Just mention it factually, like “You always seem to get stomach pains before work,” or “You haven’t gone to the gym for months.” You don’t need to ask if anything’s wrong.
- Listen. Listening is a skill. You need to listen to and understand what he’s saying. Don’t add in your thoughts or insecurities to his message. Don’t assume he’s “really talking about something else” when he’s really talking about feeling listless. Men will complain more about physical pain than emotional anguish with depression. He may not even realize he’s depressed, just that his body aches and he doesn’t feel like doing anything. Everyone who is depressed lies. It’s not just a male thing. A smile doesn’t mean the guy is happy. Sounding energetic doesn’t mean he has energy. Listen carefully. There are undercurrents, signals that slip past and let you know he’s asking for help. If you’re not certain you’re reading them right, ask questions. Don’t be afraid.
- Don’t go into fix it mode. Guys will mask depression with unhelpful or destructive behaviour and attitude. Guys turn to food, sex, drugs, alcohol or work because it makes them happy. They can become obsessed and addicted to the high that comes with that happiness. Some guys turn to the gym and become fitness addicts. Be understanding of the behaviour but know when to hold him accountable. Don’t try to fix his behaviour by telling him to see a counsellor. He’ll only withdraw, blaming you as the reason for his behaviour.
- Don’t shame the guy. Depression has lots of stigma. Even though there’s more talk about depression and what it is and means to be depressed, most people hear the word and they think “crazy”, or worse. A man doesn’t want his boss or co-workers to know he’s depressed. It takes away from his status, affects the work load he’s given, and makes him look like broken goods in front of the world. A man might not even want his friends to know he’s depressed. Don’t belittle what he’s told you or shame him for sharing his feelings. Don’t take away all of his responsibilities and make him feel useless. He’ll know how much he can or can’t do. Offering to help him is okay.
- Don’t ignore anything said about suicide. Death, dying, ending it – these words might pop up in a conversation. You need to acknowledge that you heard the words by repeating them to him. Ask if he has a plan for suicide, or what he’d consider doing to kill himself. Men tend to choose lethal and quick methods for suicide. If the man is working in an environment with access to highly lethal means, he’ll choose that as a way to end his life. Assess if he’s at immediate risk. If he’s not, make sure there’s a commitment by him to check in with you. But don’t just leave it at that. Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.
Depression is one of those illnesses that doesn’t discriminate. Like cancer, it can get anyone. Depression’s brutality, victimization and abuse hit men and women equally hard. But guys have this image of what a man should be like, and how he should behave and feel. To get a man to talk about depression means you have to wait for him to open up about it.
Twitter: @tereziafarkas #MensHealth #selfcare #suicideprevention
* Click here to find out more about Terezia Farkas and Depression help
If you’re struggling reach out. Here’s a few good places.