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Oh My Stars

matthew currie astrology twin flame ripoffTo be honest with you all, I had the idea for this blog entry a fair while ago. I thought it would be light and fun. Who doesn’t love a good satire of people who genuinely seem to deserve it? I also didn’t think it would be a two-part blog entry, and I didn’t think that Part Two would turn as dark as it’s going to. Nonetheless, here we are. Strap yourselves in, folks.

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I came across a young couple who specialize uniting people with their Twin Flames. After a little research I discovered that they can be extremely vindictive about anyone who criticizes them, so for the purposes of this blog, let’s call them/their web site “Tex & Edna’s Twin Flame Emporium” (yes, that was an SCTV reference). At first they seemed like a nice young couple who sincerely want you to be with your Twin Flame. So I signed up for their free newsletter and “starter kit.” Why not, right?

That was the first time I became a little suspicious. I didn’t have to read too far into the starter kit to come across what Tex & Edna call “the Mirror Exercise.” I won’t bore you with the details, but it’s basically like this: if you are convinced that Keanu Reeves is your twin flame, but you are upset because Keanu Reeves won’t return your calls, it’s essentially your fault. Not because Keanu Reeves isn’t your Twin Flame, but on some level you are punishing yourself or are not willing to accept your Twin Flame enough.

Want to learn more about the magic of the Mirror Exercise? You can buy their book, and heck, it’s only sixteen bucks on Amazon! Hey, you can buy my book there too for only twenty bucks! (note to self: keep bugging publisher for updated sales figures)

If that’s not good enough for you, there are two Twin Flame courses you can sign up for on their web site. One covers “attracting and deepening love with your Twin Flame” and the other one offers “guaranteed harmony with your Twin Flame.” The first one is currently on sale for $129 (regular $189!). The second one is on sale for $399 (regular $699, easy three-month payment plan!).

Okay, I admit that sounds steep. But I don’t know what’s in these courses, so maybe they’re worth it. You’d think finding your Twin Flame and then guaranteeing success with them would be worth it, wouldn’t you?

Tex & Edna also have a number of YouTube videos on the subject of Twin Flames. FUN FACT: Tex & Edna are of the opinion that if your Twin Flame is married to someone else, then you aren’t doing yourself or your Twin Flame any favors by not breaking that marriage up.

Oh, and also: Tex & Edna are actually part of a “multiple twin flame” (shouldn’t that be a Triple Flame?). The third in this set will be their not-yet-conceived daughter named Grace… who will be a girl and will never have a boyfriend or lover or get married, because God will be her lover.

Oh, that wailing noise? It’s your Creepy Weirdo Alert System going off, which appears to be working just fine.

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I decided to dig a little deeper and I joined their Facebook group. It’s a group with nearly 12,000 members… and 65 administrators. The postings in the group are almost always one of two kinds. It’s either “gosh aren’t Tex and Edna totally awesomely amazing and I’m soooo glad I took their latest course” or occasionally “my Twin Flame recently got a restraining order against me and I’m heartbroken.” Those posts are answered promptly by an administrator saying something like “hey, contact me, we’ve got a course to sell you that will fix that!”

So, yeah. I thought Tex & Edna were scam artists. Then I thought they were the heads of a pyramid scheme. But then I dug deeper, and discovered the truth. They are scam artists at the top of a pyramid scheme… and they are running a cult in which they claim that “we are the bridge to God” and they are ruining people’s lives.

Come back next time for my interview with two people who broke free of The Twin Flame Cult. This story just gets uglier.

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