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Best-selling author and NLP master trainer Michael Stevenson was once quoted as saying:
“We tend to view people through one of two “filters” – compassion or judgement. One will drain you, the other will uplift you … So choose wisely.”
That quote has stuck with me over the years for one reason: It was my official wake-up call. Hello.
Could it be that being the the type of hyper-critical human being who achieves a twisted sense of self-righteousness by focusing on the short-comings of others was a thoroughly self-defeating strategy?
Could it also be that the same strategy could be screwing over anyone else who was living as unexamined a life as I was at the time?
(Read on for the very definitive answer … )
Once I came to realize how much of a massive toll my habit of being critical and judgmental of others was costing me in terms of my potential and the quality of my life, I made a decision to do whatever it took to change my ways.
In this post, I will outline the 3 simple ‘shifts’ I made in my beliefs, attitudes and behaviors that literally caused a “180” turn around in the way I see – and more importantly – the way I experience the gift of life.
I strongly encourage you to put them to use in your life and watch your confidence, self-esteem and level of value grow.
1. Be Aware of What Being a Critical Person is Costing You
First and foremost, realize that the need to judge, complain, criticize and label other people is draining you energetically and taking a tremendous toll on your quality of life. Not only does being critical of others cost you valuable energy that you could be using to achieve, create, grow, expand and contribute, but it also robs you of having an enjoyable experience of life.
If being a person of influence and affluence means something to you – it’s time to recognize just how much having a critical outlook is really costing you.
2. Would You Rather Be Right, Or Happy?
Some people are so blindly driven by their need to be ‘right’, that they can’t see what a massive barrier it has become to their own happiness.
3 Vital Questions To Consider:
1. How do I feel when I am being critical of others? (It is important to this process that you clearly define the emotions you feel)
2. Are the feelings (emotions) I create when I criticize others empowering me or draining me?
3. Am I willing to let go of being right in exchange for being happy?
Remember this – The quality of our lives comes down to the quality of the emotions we feel on a regular basis.
3. Get Out Of Your Irrational, Emotional Mind and Gain an Objective View
Understand that most human beings are psychologically frail, emotional creatures. Their actions are motivated by only one thing – the desire to have their needs met.
That means that the emotionally-charged ‘story’ you’ve been telling yourself about how they could – or should – have done things better, or that their actions were a deliberate attempt to hurt, sabotage or damage you is fundamentally flawed and that such thinking is purely ego-driven.
Then remind yourself that you’re better than that.