Beliefnet
Make Your Relationship Work

friends

The friends, and family of the person you’re dating are significant in her evaluation of you. Their opinion of you, will help shape her impression of you. Getting along with her friends and family, means being further integrated into her life, and being in her life for the long term.

Here’s some tips I’ve learned in how to come out unscathed when meeting important people in your dates life.

Be yourself, don’t try to hard to impress.

Many tend to overcompensate or make extreme efforts to impress others. For some it’s an reaction to the stress and anxiety of meeting the important people of her life. The reason she’s with you is because, she like’s you for you, not some overcompensating, overbearing individual. Maintaining your composure, and natural sense of self displays a confidence that everyone will enjoy. Importantly, they will know you’re being authentic.

They don’t have to love you, they have to like you.

This can be reworded as “don’t try to please everyone.” Everyone is different, and in life, you’ll end up disagreeing with more people than agreeing with them. Her friends don’t have to love you, or agree with everything you say. They just have to like you. The only person that has to love you is your date.

Mind your words, and discussion topics.

If you’re a brash person, the first time you meet her best friend isn’t the best time to be brash, unless it’s invited. As well, you don’t have to begin a conversation about a controversial project, unless the discussion already exists. Don’t try to rock the boat, keep things simple, easy, and generic; sports, art, books, are great starting points. If the conversation becomes more involved, follow the conversation in that direction, but stop when it seems you’re heading towards fisticuffs.

Smile, damnit, you’re having fun!

I enjoy the company of others and generally a happy person. In the past, I’ve been so anxious during a meeting, there I would forget to smile. Many people read your nonverbal and may assume the worse. Trust me, they will talk about you later, if you’re not smiling it will seem as if you’re not having a great time when the opposite is true. Display your enjoyment, smile.

Remember, this is about her, not you.

This may seem counterintuitive, you’re meeting her friends, they are going to judge you. At the end of the day, the focus and the importance of this meeting is her, and her friends. You’re meeting her people, and they are going to talk to her afterwards. Not you. Remember, while you play a part in this meeting, it has very little to do with you, but her. You’re representing her, as well as yourself, so make sure you don’t make her look like a fool.

 

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