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I like to joke that I have switched from nightmares to what I call ‘Divorcemares.’ And they have run the gammet from the mortgage company knocking at my door to claim my house to remarrying my soon to be ex-husband. Dreams are complicated AND therefore, ‘Divorcemares’ are SUPER complicated. On a good night, I no longer…

In the beginning of my divorce, I remember having lunch with two of my girlfriends.  “Why does this always happen to the kindest women?” One asked while the other agreed. “It’s not kindness,” I replied. “There are plenty of kind women who are happily married. It is kindness with zero boundaries and a lack of…

I remember in the beginning of my divorce standing in my doctor’s office. At that point, I had been in the emergency room several times with surface blood clots. I have a very non-invasive blood condition which unless I was to have surgery, was a smoker or took hormone replacements shouldn’t be a problem. At…

I remember hugging my friend when she lost her mother. “I wish you knew my mom,” she said. “I did know your mom,” I replied. “Because I know you.” I could grasp what she was trying to convey. My friend loved her mother so much she wanted me to identify both the love and the…

When you are getting a divorce you involve all the people who love you. They worry. It’s natural. When you experience a marathon – ‘divorce on steroids’ they worry more AND you exhaust them. I spent my whole life making responsible decisions. That is, minus a few my high school and college BFF’s might be…

I remember the day I sat in my marriage counselor’s office and declared, “I will do anything to save my marriage. Anything! Just tell me what to do.” I was so naive. I believed one person could care enough for two. I alone would find a way to fix our marital problems. I honestly don’t…

I have always been proud to be raised in a family of cops, firemen, and a priest. I remember one day my friend “Lucy” saying to me, “Colleen, most people help their family and friends, you help the world.” And why wouldn’t I? It was the example I saw growing up. I witnessed my uncle…

There’s an expression in the Alzheimer’s community, “You lose the person you love twice: Once while they are still living and again when they pass on.” I remember watching my mother suffer throughout this ugly disease. To the world, it appeared I still had my mother but I had grieved her long before she passed…

I climb into bed and my head finds the pillow. This evening ritual means nothing to this divorce induced insomniac. My chocolate lab Hazel circles next to me and finally flops down. She rests so peacefully I can hear her snuggled snores. I can’t get a song out of my head. It is an old song…

I am driving down the road and realize something feels off today. At first, I can’t put the proverbial finger on it. Then I realize… Wow, I actually slept through the entire night. No divorcemares. No tossing and turning. No up in the middle of the night. I not only have my hair done I…
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