God's Comic

In honor of yesterday being Father’s day I would like to make a declaration.I am a sexist. But I’m a sexist in the best
sense of the word. If sexist meant I believed men were inherently better than
women it would be a negative concept. But that is not what I mean. To me sexist
is acknowledging and living by what used to be the age-old common sense concept
that there are indeed some things men
are better at than women, and vice-versa.

Since I’m not a woman I am not going to comment
on where women are better than men since they already know that answer and if
you don’t believe me, and you got a couple hours to kill, just ask them. One
area women believe they are better at than men is when it comes to shopping.
I’ll grant them they are more experienced at shopping than us but they’re not
necessarily as discerning when it comes to what they don’t need. This is where getting men’s advice can literally change their

Women for example have a tendency to fall for
every new specialty contrivance that marketing wizards can come up with to sell
us crap we never needed in the first place. Women need men to weed out the
wheat from the chaff in order to better utilize their buying power, since
shopping is after all the modern version of the hunt. Something I might add men
are specialists in.

Personal grooming is the easiest product to con
women into buying since they are the first and only human that fell for the
concept that the way God made you is defective and the only way to feel good
about yourself is to buy and wear makeup.

Men only wear makeup when performing on stage or
screen which should tell you a little bit about what makeup actually is,
something to enhance, deceive and or con others into believing you look
different and therefore better than
you actually do. That is why acting’s universal logo is the mask. I’ll talk
about this more in depth at another session. For now let’s choose an easy
target, soap.

Soap is a concept that women notoriously
overbuy. For example there is shampoo, which is liquid soap used for your hair
and then there is body wash, which is liquid soap used for your body. This odd
delineation between soaps that are both liquid and both used while showering
makes sense to women and so they buy both products when only one was ever
needed all along.

Obviously shampoo and body wash are one and the
same. Shampoo is simply body wash that starts
with your hair.

Every man knows instinctively that shampoo
worked into a thick lather becomes overkill since there is way more suds than necessary but
when scooped up by the handful and used as a body wash while showering you kill
two birds with one stone. If shampoo is good enough to clean my hair why wouldn’t
it contain the innate ability to clean my skin as well? Nevertheless there is
liquid hair soap, liquid body soap and lest we forget liquid hand soap. We used
to use bar soap for our hands but soap makers realized that all you have to do
is liquefy soap, give it a appendage specific title and voila, you an sell
twice as much!

My point is simple ladies, sometimes guys simply
know more than you. Respect our instincts and learn from us before it’s too
late and somebody gets the bright idea to start selling makeup removal soap
cause lord knows you’ll fall for it! 

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