Michigan State University decided to tackle an interesting component of growing up. According to our understanding now, self-fulfillment and purpose are extremely important to development and well-being at any age. Of course, the sooner these two values are cemented, the happier the individual is. This MSU study went on to show that children that spend […]
Healing occurs from the inside out.
But how do you do it?
The hardest part is squaring yourself what the fact that you’ve got issue. This is difficult for all of us. Our ego gets in the way, neck-deep in denial, and, well, say goodbye to any transforming insight.
In that vein, here are some ways to get your deeper mind to reveal the issues you may need to face. Again, this is the most challenging part of the battle. However, merely shining light on the issues initiates the healing process.
I’ve written another post on how to work with thoughts and feelings on the inside once your attention is there, where it needs to be. Check it out here. It even comes with a free worksheet.
And remember, most problems are simple at their core. And the solutions are equally simple. It’s our ego-based denial that makes them impossible to access.
Here are five tips to get the process started:
1. Ask, what’s my role in this problem?
A simple question – and a simple, honest answer will be so helpful. Of course you already know that it takes two to tango. Communication problems are a two way street and you always have a choice. At some level, you may be investing in sustaining the problem.
How are you doing that? What’s your role. Explore this if you dare.
2. Visually put yourself in another’s position.
Take a deep breath, relax and imagine that you are the person with whom you’re having a problem. Picture this person in your mind’s eye. Then, float on over and pretend you are this person. And look back at yourself. How do you appear?
3. Ask someone you trust for honest feedback.
This one is so simple and easy that it’s amazing that more people don’t take advantage of it. In your life there are people who have an outside perspective – on you. Ask them for honest feedback on an issue you are facing. Go ahead and give them permission (without consequences) to give it you to straight. Are you mature enough to do this?
4. Ask yourself, If I were somehow seeking trouble, would my behavior make more sense?
This one is not for the feint of heart. Anyway, you can begin by simply wondering if your behavior would make more sense to you if you were somehow seeking trouble. This is particularly applicable to chronic problems and frustrations. Are you setting yourself up for failure by self-sabotaging?
5. Ask yourself, what should I be doing, that I am not doing?
It’s possible that you believe you should be doing some things that you avoid doing? What are they? What stops you from doing them?
6. Ask yourself, what shouldn’t I being doing that I am doing?
Possibly you are doing things that you believe you should NOT be doing? What are they?
7. Ask yourself, what am I avoiding?
Most of us have at least one area of avoidance. It could be social situations, intimate moments, difficult relationships, challenging tasks, etc…
What are you getting out of avoiding these things and what price are you paying for avoiding them?
All of us may as well confront the hard issues head on and deal with them. They aren’t going to resolve themselves, most likely. They aren’t magically going to disappear. Let’s work on the tough issues straightforwardly and heal from the inside out.
The following article comes with a free worksheet that helps you sort of the tough issues in your mind once you have identified them. It’s called How to Be Happy: The One Gigantic Happiness Realization and a 5-Step Process to Apply It.
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If you suspect that you are chronically avoiding issues that cause you pain, then you should watch this enlightening video on self-sabotage.