Advertisement

Prayables

Prayables

Prayables Archives

IQ Guesser

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke There was a certain restaurateur who was quite famous for being able to accurately guess people’s IQs. One night a man walked in and talked to him briefly and the restaurateur said, “Wow! You must have an IQ […]

Advertisement

Simple Operation

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, “What’s the matter?” He said, “I heard the nurse say, ‘It’s a very […]

Advertisement

Hallelujah Horse

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke A man was passing through a small town and wanted to upgrade his mode of transportation. So he looked all around this small town he was in and found that the only place he could buy a faster […]

Advertisement

A Good Pun is Its Own Reward

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke – A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. – Dijon vu – the same mustard as before. – Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. – A hangover is the wrath of grapes. […]

Chin Chin

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Chin-Chin the panda was on trial for entering a New York City restaurant, eating dinner, pulling out a machine gun, and shooting out the windows and doors. The judge looked at Chin-Chin’s lawyer and proclaimed, “Thirty eyewitnesses saw […]

Knowing Where to Put It

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem […]

Little League Conference

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Coach Jones called the young lad in from center field during a Little League game for a conference. “See here Larry,” said the coach, “you know the principles of good sportsmanship that the Little League practices. You also […]

Ole Bessie

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. “Didn’t you say, at the […]

Bats

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling […]

Can’t Take it With You

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Trying to disprove the saying “You can’t take it with you,” a stingy old lawyer, diagnosed with a terminal illness, finally figured out how to take at least some of his fortune with him when he died. He […]

Talented Rat

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke A man walks into a diner and asks the waitress, “If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free lunch?” The waitress considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and […]

Deli Man

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Moshe, the owner of a small kosher New York deli, was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year. ‘Why don’t you people leave me […]

Saving All Seats

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The man groaned but didn’t […]

Where Do You Live?

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke You live in Colorado when… 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car. 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center. 3. […]

Company Bulletin Board

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Sign on company bulletin board: “This firm requires no physical-fitness program. Everyone gets enough exercise jumping to conclusions, running down the boss, dodging responsibility, and pushing their luck.”   READ MORE and enjoy these features from the Daily […]

Holmes and Watson

posted by Prayables

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were camping in the forest. They had gone to bed and were lying beneath the night sky. Holmes said, “Watson, look up. What do you see?” “I see thousands of stars.” “And what does that […]

Philosophy and the Talented Doggie

posted by Prayables

An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive. For example, an avid duck hunter […]

Only Three Doors

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke An airline captain was breaking in a new flight attendant. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the newbie the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop […]

Hormone Hostage

posted by Prayables

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands. Following is a handy guide that should be as […]

Virtual Poetry

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Remember when ram meant just a male sheep And bugs and worms were just things that creep? When a gopher and a mouse were li’l critters And virus were microbes that gave one the shivers? When a web […]

Frog in Love

posted by Prayables

A frog is praying for love. Every day he sends his petitions to the Lord with no response. Finally, he has a dream and he’s sure the Lord has spoken to him in his sleep saying: “You are going to […]

Going Global

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Who Said “Going Global” Was Easy? In a brush with embarrassment, Colgate sold a toothpaste called Cue in France.  Cue just happened to be the name of a French pornographic magazine. Coors’ “Turn It Loose” slogan didn’t go […]

Corporate Structure

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Chairman of The Board – Leaps tall buildings in a single bound. Is more powerful than a speeding locomotive; faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water. Gives policy to God. President – Leaps short buildings in a […]

Speed Limit

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He says to himself: “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he […]

Reading of the Will

posted by Prayables

“To my wonderful wife Betty, five million dollars and my entire estate.” “To my loving son Joe, seventy percent of the business and our mansion in Florida” “To my beautiful daughter Jill, one million dollars and my Rolls Royce” “To […]

Home Economics For Men

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke 1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop. 2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge 3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Wedding and the Funeral. 4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead. 5. Design Pattern […]

Sunday Best

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke A little girl dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, […]

Understanding a Woman’s Language

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Sometimes our body language will help us keep the sacred vow of using respectful language. Here’s how we do it: “Fine” – This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we […]

New Car

posted by Prayables

A cathedral was located opposite a synagogue in a well-to-do neighborhood. Both the Jewish and the Catholic congregations were driving nice cars and living well. Only the clergy was in poor condition. In fact, the priest was driving a car […]

Frank

posted by Prayables

Father McCauley walks out to the street and catches a taxi just passing by. He gets into the taxi and the driver says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.” Father McCauley: “Who?” Cabbie: “Frank. Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who […]

Van Gogh’s Relatives

posted by Prayables

The family history of the famous artist Vincent Van Gogh has been recently discovered in a European monastery. There is now a record of his many relatives. Among them were: His dizzy aunt . . . . Verti Gogh The […]

Comedian Brad Stine – Christians Don’t Have Curse Words

posted by Prayables

Daily Video Christian comedian Brad Stine is a riot in this bit about Christian cursing. You’ll laugh out loud at his witty observational humpor that strikes just the right chord. Enjoy the Prayables video pick of the day! all curse […]

Where’s Barney?

posted by Prayables

A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, “Do you think I’ll find Big Bird in here?” The little girl stayed silent. Next, the […]

How To Know You’re Ready For Parenthood

posted by Prayables

Children are God’s gift to the world. Here’s a test to see if you’re ready for parenthood. MESS TEST: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the […]

Filling in for Saint Peter

posted by Prayables

A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper: ‘Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?’ ‘Yes,’ the professor answered. ‘When I was a young candidate at […]

Deep Thoughts

posted by Prayables

- I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it. – I had amnesia once — or twice. – I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart. Now what? – Protons have […]

The Good Word

posted by Prayables

A man walked into a restaurant in a strange town. The waiter came and asked him for his order. Feeling lonely, he replied, “Meat loaf and a kind word.” When the waiter returned with the meat loaf, the man said, […]

St. Pat’s Teens

posted by Prayables

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near St. Pat’s the parish high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon […]

Bad Relationships

posted by Prayables

Two church ladies were packing lunches for the homeless. When they started to discuss their own home lives, one said, “Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I’ve been so upset I’ve lost 20 pounds.” “Why don’t […]

Hotel Clerk

posted by Prayables

Mrs. Goldstein comes to a hotel in a “high class” resort and asks for a room. “We’re all filled up,” says the clerk. “There’s someone leaving now,” says Mrs. G., “so now you have a room.” “I am sorry,” says […]

Definitions for Parents

posted by Prayables

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when a baby doesn’t appreciate the mashed carrots. HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own. PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other […]

Asserting Himself

posted by Prayables

A husband was advised by his psychiatrist to assert himself. “You don’t have to let your wife henpeck you. Go home and show her you’re the boss.” The man was on fire with enthusiasm and couldn’t wait to try the […]

Giving Out Years

posted by Prayables

On the first day, God created the dog and said: “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty […]

Shark

posted by Prayables

There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. All of the sudden he sees this shark in the water, so he starts swimming towards his boat. As he looks back he sees the shark turn and head towards him. His […]

Good-Bye Grandpa

posted by Prayables

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers – which she ended by saying “God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, and good-bye Grandpa.” The father said, […]

Previous Posts

Spiritually Healthy
Spiritually Health Get rid of what enslaves you. Find spiritual health and well-being by discovering personal freedom. Don't be defeated by your life circumstances. Here's how to change your life for good. Inspired by Rabbi Karyn Kedar's new book, "Omer: A Counting" Written by Susan Diamond,

posted 6:24:14pm Mar. 27, 2014 | read full post »

You Can Have A Better Marriage
You Can Have a Better Marriage By Susan Diamond, Prayables Some people have a stupendous, fireworks on the Fourth of July marriage. Others have a miserable, cry me a river marriage that really stinks. The rest, fit not-so-neatly in-between. How to have a better marriage? It's not as hard as you'

posted 2:08:09pm Mar. 19, 2014 | read full post »

Living Life Outside the Box
Contributed by Susan Good, Visit Gramma Good at www.grammagood.com I believe in living my life outside the box. I know many women of all ages don’t feel as I do and live inside the box their entire lives. Life inside the box means you’re content to live a routine life. You do not have the d

posted 5:03:30pm Mar. 07, 2014 | read full post »

Is There a Future for Religion?
Written By Susan Diamond, Publisher of Prayables, an online spiritual community for people of all faiths. Is There a Future for Religion? If I hear one more self-righteous matron bitch and moan about the religious morals of young people today, I'm going to smash someone's head. That's not very C

posted 10:27:07pm Feb. 19, 2014 | read full post »

Happy Life: 10 Tips & Observations from Gramma Good’s Mother
Contributed by Susan Good Visit Gramma Good at www.grammagood.com I call my mom at least once a day. Today we talked about buying a scrabble app for her computer. Ninety- two years old and my mother is going to play scrabble on her Mac! How fabulous is this mother of mine! I would normall

posted 11:28:18am Feb. 11, 2014 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.