Daily Joke

– A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

– Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

– Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

– A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

– Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.

– Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

– Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

– When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

– A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.

– What’s the definition of a will? (Come on, It’s a dead giveaway!)

– A backward poet writes inverse.

– In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

– A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

– Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I’ll show you a flat minor.

– When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

– The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

– A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

– You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

– Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

– He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

– Every calendar’s days are numbered.

– A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.

– A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

– He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

– A plateau is a high form of flattery.

– The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

– Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

– Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

– When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.

– Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

– Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

– Acupuncture is a jab well done.

– Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

– The poor guy fell into a glass grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.

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