Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat Archives

You Can’t Buy Love

Love isn’t a product, like shoes, or lemons. Yet people pleasers try to buy it with favors and being agreeable. I did whewn I was a DoorMat! And like many women, I was under the erroneous belief that if I […]


Speak Up and Save Money

I recently went to find new sandals online. I know the brand I love and did a search for them. I found a site that gave me a window of a variety of shoes for the brand I wanted. At […]


What You Think vs. What Others Think

  People pleasers often let others think for them. You may not realize you’re doing it. You might tell a friend that you want to see a certain movie and get told you won’t like it. When you hear that […]


Get Rid of Your “Not Good Enoughs”

When I was a DoorMat, I let people walk all over me. I jumped to do favors for everyone. I agreed to do what other people wanted to do. Other people ran my life for me. All because I believed […]

Are You a Needy People Magnet?

Do you find yourself surrounded by people who need you for something? Do you tend to end up with romantic partners who need fixing? It’s common, especially for DoorMats who have people pleasing as part of their M.O.  I did […]

Do You Need Everyone to Like You?

I grew up believing it was important for everyone to like me. So did my friends. Did you? It’s a common belief, especially for girls. And wanting this is what turns us into DoorMats/people pleasers. When I was on Oprah, […]

Doing Good vs. You

Sometimes you have to make a choice between what’s best for someone else and what’s best for you. You may want to do what you see as ”the right” thing for someone even if it goes against what you’d like. […]

Why Anger Can Be Like as Teakettle

When the water in as teakettle boils, it whistles to let the steam out. When anger boils up in you, how does it get out? Often we hold anger inside, especially if we’re DoorMats and don’t want to start trouble. […]

Affirming Boundaries

I know how hard it can be to say ‘No” after you’ve been a people pleaser for years and people expect an automatic “Yes” to favors from you. But it’s also exhilarating to say it and know that you’re off […]

What Direction Does Your Give & Take Go In?

I’ve never liked one-way streets. When I’m trying to get somewhere, especially in an area I’m not familiar with, it’s frustrating to try to navigate streets that aren’t going in the direction I want to go in.. Anything going just […]

Needing to Do Everything Yourself

I’ve always been a multi-tasker. It was necessary years ago when I took on way too much because I had to do everything myself. DoorMats aren’t good at asking for help and I was totally uncomfortable with asking for anything. […]

Make Today YOUR Independence Day!

For those of you in the US, yesterday we celebrated independence for our country. But how about declaring your own independence? On Tuesday I wrote about Independence for my Law of Attraction in Action series and how it helps you […]

Remove Your Excuse Blinders

Many people live with blinders on to shut out any realities they don’t want to acknowledge. When you feel insecure, seeing people and situations for what they really are might force you to take action you don’t want to take. […]

Stop Playing Defense with People

When I began to say “no” to people or changed my habits in my DoorMat days, I found myself having defend what I did. People were used to me one way—always agreeable—and some didn’t like the new more empowered Daylle. […]

People Pleasing Habits

I hear from many people who say they live in DoorMatville like I did years ago. They very much want to leave and become an empowered person but struggle trying to do it. I want to reassure you that if […]

Previous Posts

Ditch the Victim Mentality
A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.”  I tell them to fill in that blank ...

posted 10:41:37pm Jul. 21, 2014 | read full post »

Standing Up for Yourself
You may be angry at many people and want to tell them all of. But you need to –prepare to take a stand first. Before taking a stand, ask, “Am I WILLING to be serious?” You may want to stop unacceptable behavior, but are you willing to ...

posted 12:01:04pm Jul. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: What You Think Of Yourself
This is post 290 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. Very often, your biggest roadblocks ...

posted 8:44:56pm Jul. 16, 2014 | read full post »

Why People Become DoorMats/People Pleasers
George Bernard Shaw said, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to ...

posted 2:09:35pm Jul. 14, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: “It’s for the best”
This is post 289 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series  to see how. People get confused when ...

posted 12:01:14pm Jul. 08, 2014 | read full post »


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