Note: I've combined the Orthodoxy post into one long one, and shortened it a bit, to separate it out from the WaPo story piece. -- RD.
It will come as a surprise to some readers of the WaPo story, though maybe not much of one, that Julie and I are considering Orthodoxy. I've not blogged about this before, because to be perfectly frank, it is an agonizing thing for us, and I don't know how this is going to come out. I've been a fellow traveler of the Orthodox for years (I'm "Rod the Journalist" in my pal Frederica Mathewes-Green's "Facing East"), and have also been critical of the Orthodox (e.g., my Wall Street Journal jab at the Greek Orthodox for being such knotheads about John Paul II). I became enamored of Eastern Christianity as a parishioner at the Maronite cathedral in Brooklyn, and came to value the intensely poetic and mystical Eastern Rite liturgy.
What moved us to consider Orthodoxy? It's a long story, but to cut to the chase, there were two things. The most acute was complete burnout over the Catholic sex-abuse scandal. I have always kept squarely in front of me the crucial point made by Father Andrew Greeley, who said that even if the Catholic church was run by psychopathic tyrants, that has nothing whatever to do with whether or not the Catholic faith is true. He is correct. That insight kept me solidly Catholic despite all the horrible things I was learning about church corruption and abuse of children. Nevertheless, the constant fear and anger I couldn't shake off began to eat away at me. Without my realizing it, my faith had become a cerebral thing.
We found a parish that we loved, and started finally to make friends in church. And then we learned, quite by accident, that the man we took to be the assistant pastor, a man we actually liked a lot, had been formally suspended by the Diocese of Scranton after a formal sex-abuse allegation. He had been quietly put into ministry by the pastor of this parish, who deliberately decided not to tell the bishop or the congregation about the priest's past. The priest had lied separately to me and to a friend about his past, and in a manipulative way. (Here's the story on how and why I blew the whistle on this priest.)
Discovering this was the last straw for me. It was shattering. Still, I think that if I was basically in a solid place as a Catholics in terms of parish life, I might have been able to weather it. But I wasn't. Many's the time I've regretted how high-handed I was with my friend the Religion Reporter, who was leaving Evangelicalism for either Orthodoxy or Catholicism, he couldn't decide which. I made the argument -- this was 10 years ago -- for Catholicism. He said, "But I can't see raising my kids in Catholicism." I took umbrage at this, and thought he was making a comment about the sex abuse scandals of the past (this was 1996; little did I know what was in store for all of us). No, he said, you don't get it: I have small children that I want to keep Christian. I have been covering American religion for many years, and I know what life is like in most parishes. Over and over again, I have seen the magnificent teaching and witness of John Paul II and the Catholic tradition undermined and even rejected at the parish level. I honestly don't know if I could keep my kids Catholic in the American church -- or even Christian.
I humphed at this, and told him that if the arguments for Catholicism are true, that's all he needs to know, that the rest would sort itself out. He became Orthodox, and remains happily so today. Ten years on, I now know exactly what he meant.
We are now working and praying our way through this, seeking discernment. I'd never really considered the arguments for Orthodoxy; now I'm doing so. It's hard to separate the intellectual from the emotional in all this, especially because I really am a Papa Bear about protecting my kids, physically and spiritually. And yet, and yet ... is Catholicism true? Is Orthodoxy true? Is Orthodoxy true enough? (This is why Protestantism is out of the question; I have to be part of the historic apostolic church, and have the Sacraments; for me, that is possible only in RCism and Odoxy). Is it possible to live an authentic life of faith based only on cerebrality, on intellectual/doctrinal conviction? And if not, what do you do on Sunday morning?
I know too that there is no getting away from human brokenness and scandal, no matter what the church. This was brought home to us in a particularly bizarre way a couple of weeks ago, at the midnight Pascha service at a local Orthodox parish. As we stood in the congregation outside watching the procession, Julie said, "Omigod, Rod, we know that guy!" She pointed to a man in the crowd. It was Father Christopher Clay, in clerical garb. He had shown up with several young men in tow, and left with his entourage just before communion. Maybe this is God's way of saying, "You can run, but you can't hide."
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e or love their children in accordance with the commandment of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Why are the Priests that have a problem and live in a state of sin sometimes giving into pedophilia or homosexuality not denied communion?
Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Some of them actually believe it is part of who they are as people. What about the unseen states of sin like thoughts that people can often find ourselves continuously living in? Mercy and compassion is shown to them when they repent and still have sinful thoughts often it seems. The heart of the law is mercy, compassion etc. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ spoke of following the letter of the law while violating the heart of the law. After all, Rome does not interpret Matthew 18:6 in such a way to put a milestone around those that have hurt children and throw them into the sea. Is better to do that than to let them be in a position to hurt a little one again? They repent and struggle with sinful thoughts and are not denied communion and it is not said that they had never been Priests and that their ordinations (sacrament) had not been valid, it that not correct? The Latin faithful have been most forgiving and suffered much, yet the magesterium in her singular papal glory remains steadfast in her unorthodox understandings that effect people. It is clear to me that men that are married and become Priests are not isolated hence their understandings come from their living pastoral experiences and hearts.
Matthew 18:6
Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
The Orthodox Church is able to recognize that the Church of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ our God must be a place of reconciliation, just as Christ reconciles us with God Almighty so too the Orthodox Church embraces the sheep, lambs in short Her total beloved flock, yea even those that go astray, thanks be to God!
Matthew 18:12
What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine and go to the mountains to seek the one that is straying?
Such love is not just some concept to talk about but is the reality that is found in the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church. It is not about denying communion to infants or children or even adults that sometimes behave like children in their marriages. Thanks be to God when they come to their good senses the Orthodox Church does not reject them or vex them, just as it does not reject children not have reached the age of reason communion. You may find many references to Christ embracing all sorts of people that messed up with under-developed reasoning abilities. In such a way the Holy Orthodox Catholic Church the true Bride of Christ is the truthful and authentic interpreter of Holy Writ and the Gospel message. Since the Church was intended to be and really is the place of reconciliation, it seems the Bishop of Rome should change his thinking to take a step in the right direction in his journey and bring Rome back towards the Church. God went to great lengths, widths and breadths to reconcile man with God, perhaps one day Rome will come to that realization so that she to may know what is the length, the breadth and the width with all the Saints.
Matthew 11: 28-30
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Thanks be to God for all who care for the flock and give Glory to God rightly. One of the Church fathers has written; "A true shepherd is known by the compassion he has for his flock." For such grave and disturbing ways are not watered through the mis-use of our God given abilities to reason and blindly following those that error. The sheep know the voice of the good shepherd. When Christ said to the woman go and sin no more, she did not stop sinning from that moment on, she struggled like all human beings should struggle against sin.
Matthew 18: 21-
Then Peter came to Him and said, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?
Jesus said to him, I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all. Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.
But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me what you owe! So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay you all. And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you? And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.
So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.
It is important for us to forgive and the Orthodox Church the True One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church the Bride of Christ is what? Merciful, compassionate and loving. When her members suffer she comforts and heals as she must and always will as the gates of hades will not prevail against her. Whether they are brought by the minds of men in error or physical attacks her rudder is not abandoned and her compass is not broken.
So yes Mardukn we understand the way of the cross, to claim otherwise would be a blatant lie. Certainly we have seen the sufferings of many of our friends in communion with Rome. Some of these faithful and sincere Latin Christians have been disturbed by the dismantling of the ancient and venerable Latin rite with acceleration before their very eyes. These faithful people have subjected themselves and their children to the understandings of those in error who when made aware of a heresy disregard or adjust that heresy for justification purposes. In more recent times they have suffered from pastoral matters i.e. the sexual abuse crisis or the continuance of the ridged pastoral stance relative to the matter of human failings in marriages. So the imposed suffering of ones flock is a departure from the Gospel message.
In Christ,
Matthew Panchisin>
"For many a long year now I have been trying to persuade those who turn to me to apprehend the trials that befall them not only within the bounds of their individual existence but also as a revelation of how mankind lives and has lived in its millennium existence. Every experience, be it of joy, be it of pain, can bring us new knowledge vital for our salvation. When in ourselves we live the whole human world, all the history of mankind, we break out of the locked circle of our own 'individuality' and enter into the wide expanses of 'hypostatic' forms of being, conquering death and participating in divine infinity.'
Achimandrite Sophrony, "On Prayer" pgs. 115-116>
Hello Rod, God bless you & yours.
FWIW:
My family, (parents, two older sisters, two younger brothers), was Catholic but split in the 80s with some joining Orthodoxy, some staying Catholic, one drifting elsewhere. My father was a fallen away Catholic who had returned, my mother a convert & both very devout. The changes after Vatican II, or at least how they played out locally, hit them hard. My mother's attempts to correct or report on liturgical abuses were greeted with cynicism, & eye-rolling. It was all very hard on her, and thusly on the rest of us, to see how it affected her.
Eventually, jumping ahead to the 80s, we became acquainted with a small Orthodox church filled with some wonderful people. The liturgy was of course, beautiful. The reverence for it struck a chord (no pun intended) with my parents.
Eventually my father converted. My mother stayed Catholic for awhile, but eventually told me she couldn't take being part of a separate church from my father, and that - and she teared up while telling me - she was going to leave the Catholic Church and join him in Orthodoxy, though deep down inside, she'd still consider herself a Catholic.
Eventually, the very nice priest from the church started gently, good-naturedly nudging my siblings and I with: "Well, what about you?" comments. One of my sisters confided to me that although she recognized the comments were being said in a good-natured manner, that the comments still mildly irked her. Eventually though, she converted as well, likewise fed up with liturgical abuses. My other sister remained Catholic. As for my two younger brothers, one eventually became agnostic, and has even done temp work for Planned Parenthood, God help us. My youngest brother - I don't know - he works overseas, and is rather mum about such things, but I think is still Catholic, if I had to guess.
For me, in the 80s, the hardest part was my mother converting. She was my "guru" (she passed away from cancer 10 years ago). We would so often find ourselves wrapped up in theological discussions. She introduced me to the religious writings of Lewis and others. She had such a genuine love of Christ and His mother - and such an insight into spiritual matters. Growing up in a small Southern town where the only Catholic Church was as old as I was, on the one hand, there was so much childish ignorance about Catholicism, on the other hand the tiny Catholic community seemed to have no trouble with various liturgical excesses or abuses & never really understood what the big deal was with my mother and father. It left me rather isolated feeling, as far as my spiritual beliefs, but there was always the sanctuary of family. Now, with family members leaving the Church, I felt even more isolated, even though my mother & I continued to enjoy theological discussions.
As the 80 & 90s progresses, and word of more & more abuses, this time sick and sordid sexual abuses & cover-ups developed, I think my parents and sister felt more comfortable about their conversions - though still troubled on behalf of a church they loved. For me, now a grown adult, often deeper feelings of isolation as my social circles (I'm an actor) were for the most part, not exactly warm to the Catholic Church anyway, to put it mildly.
Nevertheless, my parents & sister did become troubled by various abuses in Orthodoxy that did not necessarily get national exposure, abuses sexual & administrative. There were two Orthodox priests for example, in the 90s booted out of a seminary for sexual abuses as I recall, but reinstated by a presiding clergyman who through their treatment was unfair. Episodes such as that deeply troubled my parents who did not want to associate those sorts of problems with Orthodoxy. And at my parents' church one of the priests (not the one who encourage their conversion - a later one) left his church and Orthodoxy as a whole and also his wife & child, announced that he was gay, moved in with a man & started his own "gay-friendly" church.
Their church weathered that and other storms, and a priest of sterling character was brought in. A man who was so good to my mother in her illness (cancer) that took her life and has been so supportive of my father since my mother's passing, that I will *always* be *eternally* grateful to him. I know he & his wife would love it if I became Orthodox, though they are never pushy about it.
My mother was a singer and conducted the choir for her Orthodox Church. Whenever I would attend, I would join in - which I loved doing. I do sing, and the music was so gorgeous, devoid of insipidity & any quasi-70s-pseudo-folk sound. Authentically, genuinely elevating. And the people are still always so kind to me & appreciative when I do come and sing. It's wonderful to hear a liturgy done with dignity and a sense of importance & transcendence.
With all that, I can't help but sometimes contemplate leaving as well. But - whenever I do - always - what I find keeps popping up in my head - almost instantaneously - and so firmly that I can't ignore it - is : "Lord, where would we go?" - and the feeling subsides.
I don't want to paint a picture of complete gloom and sorrow - I have since found a few Catholic churches that have beautiful liturgy, and traditional values, and I feel good when I am there. Alas, they are not close by, and I can't work out going as often as I'd like. But regardless - I find I can't leave this Church, even if I wanted to, and a part of me at times does wants to - but again: "Lord, where would we go?, end of story. And after I hear that "stumbling block" of a phrase - I find, that, even when it's difficult, even when I feel alone in my Catholicism, which I often do, I find that if deep down inside I want to leave, *deeper* down inside, I do not, regardless of everything.
Hope you don't mind me sharing all this. I've been lurking for some time here, thinking I just shouldn't say anything... but, here, FWFW, there it is.
Whatever happens, may the Lord bless you & your family, & bless you also for all the good work you have done. Please if you think of it, remember my family in your prayers as well.
In Him
- henry>
Rod,
I pray that you find peace. The Catholic church is a family. As such it has both good and bad elements. It is unfortunate that you have been exposed to enough of the bad to make you consider leaving.
Be strengthened in the knowledge that even Peter denied our Lord three times. This in itself is a teaching example of the frailty of Christ's Church as it is founded on humans. Think of the times that the Jewish people broke from God and the number of times He remained faithful to them.
Do not think of the Church solely as the individuals who compose it. Instead, think of it as Christ's Bride who needs our love and forgiveness just as much as we need Christ's. We are a family in God the Father, guided by the Spirit through the teachings of Christ's Church. It is faith and reason that are the foundations of Catholicism, per St. Thomas Aquinas.
Stay committed, in Christ, His Bride, and we as faithful can bear our cross with the help of Grace.
With my prayers,
Chris>
Julie & Rod, do you remember me from Austin, Texas? We teach NFP. All our 5 kids stayed Roman Catholic & are better Catholics than I am. We all love the Church & Jesus. We are imperfect & are sad when a priest is too. I kept very close watch over my kids, homeschooling, going to daily Mass & finding many new parishes to get the most faithful to Rome as I could through many moves. We made Eucharistic Hours and said rosaries (not as many as we should have. God is merciful & can keep your kids real Catholic Christians. I am so sorry for your constant fear and anger. You're right;it will began to eat away at you. Ask God to move your faith from a cerebral thing, into a friendship in your heart! He will. Ask Him to show you the beauty of the Church & a reverently said Mass. Our son will soon be ordained & our daughter is consecrated. They are very happy. We visit them in Rome & Mexico, where they live. We lived in Europe for years. We have been to Mass in many places & in many languages. I always look for a priest in love with Jesus in the Eucharist, who says Mass reverently. No struggling priest is going to take me away from Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament!!! Not with Gods mercy & grace! Pray & sacrifice for the Church! She need our help; she DESERVES our help. God bless & keep you, Julie & Rod! Love in Christ, Barb Jaloway>
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