In Dallas (naturally), a parenting magazine discusses how easy it is for mommies who don’t like their post-child bodies to get surgery — and to have it financed! — to reverse the effects of time and childbirth. Don’t like what nursing has done to your na-nas? Doc has just the solution:

Doctors say some women, especially with breast augmentation, can see results very quickly. “It’s instant gratification. They wake up a different person,” offers Thornton. In fact, research shows that the five-year satisfaction rate for breast augmentation is 94 percent, reports Wilcox (80 percent of the implants he places are silicone-gel, which was approved again by the Federal Drug Administration in November 2006).

Bogdan also dispels a common misconception that implants need to be replaced every 10 years. “Implants are not perfect, and there are some issues that can occur with time, but if the breasts look good and feel soft, there is no reason to undergo implant exchange surgery,” he stresses.

In Austin, there’s long been a bumper sticker and t-shirt campaign saying, “KEEP AUSTIN WEIRD”. Some clever Dallas person came up with the Big D answer to that: “KEEP DALLAS PLASTIC”.