10 Ways to Raise Successful Children

When I get together with friends, we often talk about our children. Our hope is that we will all raise kids who do well in life. Most of us agree. We want children who are well educated, marry healthy people, have meaningful jobs, grow their own families in positive ways, and involve themselves in church and a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. These hoped-for outcomes are influenced by how we, as parents, guide and direct our children as they grow and eventually leave home. Most of us find that our parenting approaches were greatly influenced by how we were parented. For some of us, our role models were positive. Others want to do things differently and improve their parenting from the previous generation. Fortunately, we can learn from watching others, going to parenting classes, reading books, studying the Bible and knowing what researchers say contributes to raising successful children. Here are 10 suggestions for us to consider as helps along the parenting journey.

Aid a Sense of Independence

Successful children have a strong sense of self that isn’t easily compromised by peers or external influences. Parents help develop this independence by encouraging children to work through relationship conflicts, solve problems and form healthy peer relationships. To do so, means allowing children to gradually make more decisions as they grow, and feel the consequences of those decisions. Controlling parents feed into low self-confidence by telling children what to do all the time and thus, creating an unhealthy dependence. Dependent children have a difficult time thinking for themselves and making decisions. The goal is to raise a child who is independent but who is also emotionally connected to parents in healthy ways.

Have an Authoritative Parenting Style

There are three major parenting styles that have been identified-authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive. The best parenting style is authoritative in which parents are loving, consistent and provide structure. They listen and explain things to their children. When they make realistic demands on their children, they help provide the guidance and resources necessary to be successful. In contrast, authoritarian parents value obedience as a virtue itself, and constantly tell children what to do. Rigid conformity to rules is expected. Permissive parents do not provide needed boundaries and structure. They don’t provide consequences for inappropriate behavior and are lax in their parenting style. So, look at your parenting style and work on making it more consistent with an authoritative approach.

Have Them Help with the Chores

Flickr/Ryan Harvey

It is true, hard work doesn’t hurt anyone. In fact, it builds character and the skills necessary for success later in life. So if you want to prepare your child for employment success, this is a tangible way to do it—assign them regular chores at home. Have them make their beds, do dishes, take out the trash, feed the dog, etc. Children who do chores also tend to be more empathetic and better collaborators at work. Given this, while you still have them at home, think of ways you can build this work ethic through assigned chores or service to others. Pulling weeds in a neighbor’s garden, washing cars for grandparents, shoveling driveways in winter are simple ways to build a work ethic that employers will value.

You Can Be a Successful Parent

In sum, successful children are those who form secure parental attachments, have high emotional intelligence, live in families in which stress is managed, develop a work ethic, have high expectations and are encouraged to solve their own problems using the guidance of their parents. Spiritual training is a key ingredient in building resilience and teaching your child to flourish. Take a moment and evaluate yourself in these 10 areas and decide what might need improvement. If you feel you need to work on any of the 10, get help through parenting groups, your church, a counselor or a parent mentor. After all, who doesn’t want to raise happy and successful children?