2017-07-27

Many of us remember the woman who fell in the fountain at the mall because she was so distracted texting. And we know texting and driving is extremely dangerous, but what about the dangers or help of texting in our relationships?

Romantic partners often text each other multiple times a day, but does all that texting deepen or hurt a relationship?

Here are my list of pros and cons of texting and relationships. Like most tools and technology, texting can be used in good and not-so-good ways. Based on these pros and cons, you decide if texting is helping or hurting your relationship. Then, ask yourself, “is it time for a little more face-to-face communication?”


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PROS:

1) Romance can be enhanced by sending loving texts.

2) Sometimes you can’t talk but can get back to someone quickly by using a text message. So texting provides quick and easy response.

3) When you are apart due to distance, texting keeps you connected.

4) Texting is a convenient way to impart facts and information.

5) You can multi-task and text.

6) Good for making plans, providing addresses and contact information.

7) Women who text often report a higher quality connection with their partners as they often use texting to apologize, work out a problem and bring up issues to be dealt with later; Men who text often can use texting as a way to distance themselves in a relationship or disengage from deeper intimacy so pay attention, gender matters!


CONS:

1) Texting provides a written record of communication. So if one person is using it to flirt or keep secrets and the other reads the text messages, this is an indirect way to be found out and damages a relationship.

2) Texting is not a good way to deepen a relationship. That requires the old fashion face to-face.

3) Texting should not be used to break bad news. It is insensitive!

4) Too much texting can feel like stalking or too much!

5) Too often people text without thinking, when they are drinking too much or angry. Once it is written, you can’t take it back!

6) Humor doesn’t always translate on text. So you might think you are being funny and actually offend.

7) You can edit and edit messages, Thus, they are not always real indications of how you think and react instinctively and can give a false impression.

8) It is easy to misinterpret texts because you can’t read the nonverbal cues or the tone.

Read more from Dr. Linda Mintle on her blog, Doing Life Together.

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