Here, at last, readers have an opportunity to make up their own minds on this issue. With a completely impartial neutrality, I present the results of an exhaustive comparative study.
| CHANUKAH | CHRISTMAS | |
| Pronunciation | HAN-eh-kuh, sometimes pronounced with a gutteral ch (not SHA-nu-kay) |
KRISS-mess |
| Date | Dec. 4-11 (varies annually) | Dec. 25 (the same old day every year) |
| Gift-giving days | Eight | Only one (OK, theoretically 12) |
| Traditional foods | Delicious potato pancakes (latkes), homemade applesauce, luscious red wine |
Turkey, Wonder bread, soggy pumpkin pie |
| Ornaments | Elegant candelabra (menorah) | Oversized fir trees, silly aluminum balls, garlands of popcorn |
| Customs | Playing with charming spinning top (dreidel), playing hide-and-seek for money (gelt), singing ancient exotic songs |
Watching TV, singing jingles, drinking eggnog |
| Traditional gifts | Sports cars, HDTV consoles, Palm Pilot handheld computing devices, cell phones, mink stoles |
Perfume, handkerchiefs, toaster ovens |
| Reason for celebrating | The inspiring revolt of the Maccabees against tyranny and the triumphant recapture of the Temple in Jerusalem |
Birth of a single child in Bethlehem |
| Miracles | The burning of the Temple's "Eternal Light" for eight days with only a day's supply of oil. |
Virgin birth |
| Principal hero | Judah "the Hammer" Maccabee | Jesus Christ |
| Holiday hassles | Counting gifts | Buying trees, decorating the house, returning gifts |
| Vacations | Yes (but not for Gentiles) | Yes (all schools and offices closed) |
| Commercialism | None | Omnipresent |
__These, then, are the major differences between the two holidays. By coolly examining the facts, readers will finally be able to answer for themselves the age-old controversy. I personally haven't made up my mind yet. |
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